Quotes from the American God Game Sessions

Paraphrased from Game Sessions

• Jesus Arthur!! Just how fast are you?! -- Jack

• Give me a few seconds and my image should catch up with me. -- Arthur

• You haven't worked with her for 5 years... -- Brian (regarding Vivian's exentricities)
  Well... Technically neither have you. -- Arthur

• Survivor heheh... That's Ironic -- Jack (commenting on Reality television)

• I'm glad that a Kennedy is preaching self rightiousness. -- Mandy (regarding Jack)

• No... But we may have to fight each other. -- Arthur (regarding preperations for powered people)

1:1 - In God We Trust, Part I

• ...

2:1 - In God We Trust, Part II

• Know, American dog, that I am Ahmed al-Shehhi. -- Ahmed al-Shehhi
  Ahmed? Why do you have a woman's name? -- Brian
  DIE!!!!! -- Ahmed al-Shehhi

• Arthur? It's OK, all the bad guys are dead. You can stop now. Remember me? You're going to cater my party? -- Brian (on Arthur's "securing" of Flight 283)

3:1 - Coming Out Party

• I'm sorry he's going to have to call you back. [hangs up the vid phone] -- Arthur (to President Bush)

• You want to know what we are Dr. Booth? I'll tell you. We're your experiment, that you just lost control of. -- Arthur

4:1 - Meet the Press

• ...

5:1 - The Crash

• the question we have now is what do we want to do...? -- Brian (followed by crickets)

• You know, on any other day this would make me happy. -- Arthur (on seeing Brian run over by a bus)

• Of course I have money, I'm a Kennedy. I think it's against the law for us not to. -- Jack

6:2 - Homecomings, Part I

• You sound like a fax machine. -- Mandy (to Jack at the Survivor Press Conference)

• You guys mentioned Coke and Nike? I'd just like to say, if anyone from Coke or Nike is watching right now? I'm looking for ad contracts? -- Julia Lee (at the Survivor Press Conference)
  Like I said, we're still very, very human. [with a sigh] -- Brian

• Rein in your dog Jack. -- Vernon Marks (referring to Arthur)

7:2 - Homecomings, Part II

• Right now im getting a lot of interferance from the planet earth. I need to account for that some how. -- Brian

• Why don't we go inside and have a Guiness and you can tell me what the HELL is going on? -- Harold (Arthur's father after witnessing Arthur's power)

• You need to take pride in your abilities, son. -- Hardold Redford
  I'd like to know what they are first. -- Arthur

8:2 - Absolute Power Corrupts

• Steven Hawking? Yeah. Where's he? -- Brian
  [Jack POINTS toward the Earth.] (as Brian and Jack consider how Brian could find a way to return to Earth)

• First we're going to keep you alive Jack. -- Brian
  ...Good -- Jack

• I'm going to find Steven Hawking's brain... -- Brian

• We're not in Jersey anymore Dad -- Arthur
  God help us. -- Harold

• What's the matter officer... Was I speeding -- Arthur

• Alright, I gotta get to Arthur. -- Jason
  Well, you're only a hop, skip and a jump away. -- Sammy
  I think more like just a hop. -- Jason

• Aww! I promised him a tune-up... -- Cat (concerning the old jeep truck in Athens, GA)

9:2 - From The Mountain Tops

• You're ears, they're off center -- Beth
  It's okay that'll go away -- Brian
  No... no it won't -- Beth

• Why's she crying? ... There's no crying in the hunting camp! -- Harold to Beth

• 80 mph, that's kinda slow -- Jack
  What? Well, like compared to Arthur, maybe... -- Brian
  No... you were going 32 times the speed of light past the moon... -- Jack
  I'm sorry... can you say that again..? -- Brian (when testing Brian's running speed | 32c = 32 times the speed of light )

• Stop!...
  Jumpin' Jack Flash...
  Stop! In the Name of...
  Jumpin' Jack Flash...
  It's a dead man's party..
  and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to... You would cry too if it happened to you, oo-oooo-oo-oo.
  -- Jack (trying to stop Mandy while in astral form, "speaking" through the van sterio)
  • Stop! in The Name of Love by Diana Ross
  • Jumpin' Jack Flash by the Rolling Stones
  • Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo
  • It's My Party by Lesley Gore

• Iron Maiden spikes are NOT bacteria ridden! -- Jack (when Mandy wants to douse him with alcohol)

• Waitaminute... Why am I putting out the fire, while MANDY is playing with the truck?!?! -- Jack

• Ok, the singing is getting old, let's try something else... -- Arthur #1
  Marco!! -- Arhtur #2
  Polo!! -- Chorus of 13 Arthurs
  Ok, that got boring quick... -- Arhtur #10
  Okay, I'm thinking of a color.. -- Arthur #7
  BLUE! -- Chorus of 13 Arthurs
  DAMNIT! Ok, I spy with my little eye... -- Arhtur #13
  CORN!! -- Chorus of 13 Arthurs
  (all when lost for 11 hours in the Ware Mt. Corn field maze)

• ...but I can see invisibles... -- Dee
  Its because your lame mortal eyes can't see us... -- Sammy (regarding Arthur and Brian in Arthur's "time lapse")

• If there's anyone who can explain it to her, it's Jack. Out of all of us his brain is most simular to hers. -- Brian (Talking about Beth and her eventual moral crisis in Seattle.)

• You're ears... They're crooked. -- Beth
  It's okay, that'll go away. -- Brian
  No... No it won't... -- Beth

10:2 - Metropolitans

• She has the power to go blind... -- Brian (regarding Vivian's "powers")
  ...That's helpful. -- Jack

• There's going to be a time and place when we shake hands. Watch me... Like a hawk. You might have to take me down hard. -- Brian (regarding Milos)
  You? Or him? -- Arthur
  Both. -- Brian

• I'm pretty sure he's on the defense. Otherwise he can't run for President. -- Jack (on Milos' involvement with the Reagan trial)

11:3 - America's Most Wanted

• Dad, I love you, I <cough> Guess it is a familiy.. <gasp> Tradition. (dies) -- Jack (dieing on the steps of Lincoln Memmorial)

• Oh no he's stuck in Fuck time. -- Jack (to brian when Aurther is stuck in temporal phase in the Caf)

• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian

12:3 - Play the Game

• With great power comes great ass-reaming. -- Sammy, talking about how our characters are continually screwed.

• I play with a lot of chutes and ladders in real life. -- Mandy, to Beth, on being invited to play a board game.

• I basically told the Vice President to fuck himself up the ass with a monkey's paw. -- Jason, describing Brian's earlier conversation with the Vice President.

• Have you ever played Candy Land? -- Mandy
  There's a land?!? - Beth, in the children's ward of John Hopkins.

• Bored now. - Beth
  I thought you wanted to play Candy Land? - Mandy
  I've moved on. -- Beth, more of the same

• So... Your ruffian days? - Brian
  Yeah. You familiar with the concept of plausible deniability? - Arthur
  Yes... - Brian
  Then do you really want me to answer that question? -- Arthur
  ...No. -- Brian
• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian

13:3 - The Courts of Public Opinion I

• What happens when you snarf fire? -- Sammy, When Dee botched Mandy's attack roll with her fire breath.
• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian

14:3 - The Courts of Public Opinion II

• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian

15:3 - Future Tense

• Fifty years and he hasn't matured a bit. -- Brian, regarding Jack

• Don't worry, I have a plan. (turns to Jack) Get us home! -- Brian
  That's your plan?!?! - Jack

• You've got to pick up the ax, because the building's still on fire. -- Mandy, to a very broken Brian

• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian

16:3 - About the Girl

• Arthur, I thought the plan was to get closer to Camelot. I don't know what you're trying to do here, but this... this is 76% deviation... -- Jack, who doesn't quite get it
  Jack, I have no idea what you're talking about. -- Arthur, responding by telling it like it is

• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian (starting to notice a theme here?)

17:3 - Fathers Know Best

• I find it interesting that you're dating Haroun Ahmed Khidir. - Brian
  He's nice. - Joelle
  I know. That's what the Belgian Ambassador's secretary said, what Mitchell Brown's assistant said and what Secretary Hutchinson's chief of staff said. He's nice. He's also dating you because of politics. - Brian
  He likes me. - Joelle
  I'm sure he likes you. You're very likeable. You're also the Director of Humanitarian Issues and Human Rights for the largest policy think tank in the country, while he's the ambassador from the Sudan, which has been spending the better part of a decade trying to convince the world that it's not committing genocide on it's own citizens. It doesn't hurt their case at all if he's seen out with you. - Brian, making a good case, but pretty much losing anyway.
  You're so jealous. - Joelle, telling Brian why he's losing.

• You're so jealous. - Matt, to Brian, later and unprevoked.

• I'm not jealous! - Brian, lying in his own defense.

• So, one of your new friends is a Kennedy? - Joelle
  Yeah. - Brian
  Is he cute? - Joelle
  ...No. - Brian
  Are you just saying that so I won't ask if he's single? - Joelle
  ...Yes. - Brian

• I need to shut the water off for apartment 216. - Jack
  Why? - Mandy
  They're NTAC. - Jack
  But they payed their bill on time. - Mandy

18:3 - Picking up the Pieces

• ...

19:3 - What Goes Around...

• At the race the other day, you did... good. - Brian
  I don't always have to be an asshole. You just go with what works. - Arthur

• Say there's a cake on the table. Do you like Cake? Chocolate cake? - Harley
  Not exactly. - Arthur
  How about pie? - Harley
  Sure, I like pie. - Arthur
  Okay, so there's this pie, right here on the table, and you say you don't want to eat it, but you know that, sooner or later, you're going to eat that pie. Are you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down? - Harley

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The AMERICAN GODS