Editing SPARCs:Kibbitzing005
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- am I making Exemplar too much of an obvious shitheel? I'm trying to paint him as an overprotective parent rather than out-and-out domineering type. | - am I making Exemplar too much of an obvious shitheel? I'm trying to paint him as an overprotective parent rather than out-and-out domineering type. | ||
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- how do we make Frost's kicking-out not seem abrupt? | - how do we make Frost's kicking-out not seem abrupt? | ||
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---- [Miss fermoy ]I suppose they could do a psych evaluation of Milka, stating its just routine, then when he realises that a, she's still a bit nuts, and b, has feelings for Joel decides its best that she is hospitalised "until she feels better" | ---- [Miss fermoy ]I suppose they could do a psych evaluation of Milka, stating its just routine, then when he realises that a, she's still a bit nuts, and b, has feelings for Joel decides its best that she is hospitalised "until she feels better" | ||
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----Well, the only SPARCs left uninvolved are Sarah and my character, so the SPARTA might try to enlist them in taking care of the dirty work -- either nicely "Help us help your friends", or nasty "Help us or you're gone too" or Machiavellianly "Help get rid of the troublemaker and we'll know you're ready to be a leader". I personally like the Machiavellian approach for Amy, because it gives me a chance to firm up her mean-girl credibility, and it sets up a nice dynamic for next episode, when Amy realizes that she screwed over a friend just to clear the way for Joel. | ----Well, the only SPARCs left uninvolved are Sarah and my character, so the SPARTA might try to enlist them in taking care of the dirty work -- either nicely "Help us help your friends", or nasty "Help us or you're gone too" or Machiavellianly "Help get rid of the troublemaker and we'll know you're ready to be a leader". I personally like the Machiavellian approach for Amy, because it gives me a chance to firm up her mean-girl credibility, and it sets up a nice dynamic for next episode, when Amy realizes that she screwed over a friend just to clear the way for Joel. | ||
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But do we need to both decide and wrap up everything in one scene? It seems to me that we could resolve this scene with the big dogs deciding what to do and some of how to do it, and leave the scene where Frost gets hospitalized for later in the episode. | But do we need to both decide and wrap up everything in one scene? It seems to me that we could resolve this scene with the big dogs deciding what to do and some of how to do it, and leave the scene where Frost gets hospitalized for later in the episode. |