Shadows Hills Polly Diary

May 1st, 2009

Finals are coming up. It's such a pain to have to act like a ditz! Why do I have to do that? Is it so bad for a cheerleader to be smart?

...well, I guess it is, after what happened early on in the year. Damn it.

I like people. I like it when people like me. Why do I have to act like a ditz to get people to like me? At least when I'm dealing with guys on dates, I know what they're after, and it kind of makes sense, aside from the double standard.

It's annoying!!!!!

May 15th, 2009

So somebody found out about me and Anne. Drama!!!! That bitch Carrie tried to blackmail me with it, but HA! my family doesn't care, and the school will come down on her if she tries.

Besides, everybody already knows, apparently.

May 17th, 2009

So the school decided that I needed to be put in touch with lots of organizations, and things. I don't mind, but there turned out to be problems.

For one thing, the people I got stuck talking to were all talking about how they had to hide how they didn't like being with guys. It's not like that for me!!! The important thing is the person, not whether they're a boy or a girl or whatever. Why is that so hard to understand?

But you say "Bisexual," and the straight guys and girls think that you mean "Easy Slut," and the gay girls think that you mean "Traitor," I swear! I mean, there are people out there who tell me that I don't exist! (I don't even want to talk about all the guys who think that that means that I'll want to have a threesome with them and their girlfriends.)

Plus the ones who think that I either have to have a new, butch makeover, or that I can't like girly girls, because I am one. Honestly, what are they thinking? Pretty, girly girls are just fine in my book.

May 19th, 2009

...and now Allen is wondering if our breakup is why I got together with Anne. Honestly, I wanted to smack him, or tell him off, but I was nice. I explained it to him. Not sure if he believes me, though.

This whole situation is being ridiculous. I like cheerleading. I like pretty clothes, and pretty hair, and makeup, and dancing, and cute things.

And I like trivia. I like knowing things. I like studying, and getting good grades, and feeling like I understand stuff. I like biology class, even dissecting things. I'm good at math, and I like that, too.

I like guys. And I like girls.

Why does everybody have to divide everything into categories? Why can't I be a brainy cheerleader?

May 24th, 2009

... I swear, school cannot end quickly enough for me now! Anne wound up breaking up with me because of her parents, but the rest of the crew is treating me like an alien. Honestly, if I haven't tried groping them before now, why would that change? But they act like I have a disease.

It only gets worse with the guys. Oh, I'm more popular than ever... with guys who think that I'll be up for anything, right away.

I'm seriously considering transferring to another school, just to get a chance to start over.

July 2nd, 2009

The day that the Declaration of Independence was actually signed, not that anybody remembers.

We leave on our family vacation tomorrow, and I am so glad... I really need this.