Editing Sunrise At Road's End

<span style="color:#800000">'''It's the end of an era but the start of a new one and as always, transition's a bitch--Maer'''</span><br><br><br>



''Thursday, June 4th, 1868''<br>
''On the coast of Wales''<br>
''0300hrs, local time''<br><br>

Josephine dragged her cigarette down to the last possible fraction of an inch, then snuffed the remains on her boot heel and pitched it over the cliff to the rocks below. As typically happened, the evening's battle and subsequent events had made sleep impossible and she'd spent the past three hours pacing the cliff's edge working the adrenaline out of her system. Beyond the trees behind her waited Alexi's boat project. It would take a little while yet before it was seaworthy and by the time they sailed for London, Josephine hoped to have Evie's sudden change in fortunes squared away with her own plans for the future.<br><br> 

Over the short seven months of their association, Evie had slipped past Josephine's defenses to settle firmly in her heart. Even now, Josephine could not pinpoint the moment Evie had ceased being a partner and had become instead a daughter. She only knew that somehow Evie had and that the future of their relationship was now a matter of question. In a mere span of days, Evie had become Alexi's wife and would soon be leaving for Russia to be presented to his Grandmother and the Royal Court. She would also stand to take the title of Duchess of Leeds and claim her seat in England's Parliament, to say nothing of dividing her time between England and Russia. Furthermore, the pixies under the hill had changed Evie. Her life as a beastie, a cat girl, was over. While it might be possible to continue their arrangement under such circumstances, Josephine was reluctant to press for it. Evie would need to focus on regularizing her new life before she could look back to her old one. <br><br>

''She's Eldren now. She'll have an Eldren's lifetime to walk her road. She'll live beyond me and until she does, will she even travel the road we've shared? Or will she step off for another one?''<br><br>

It was not something Josephine dared say aloud after she'd ceded the argument. It would change nothing and be needlessly petty, even cruel, to mention it. Evie had made her choice and Josephine had agreed to abide by it. A foggy October morning in Bavaria rose from her memory and staring at the stars overhead, Josephine saw again the hole her father made in the mist as he rode off to meet his fate. She now stood at a similar crossroad and as she'd had that long-ago morning, Josephine could not see what lay ahead. She could only square her shoulders and move forward and refuse to look back. She slipped another cigarette from her case and lit it. Too proud to cry and reveal her hurt at being left behind by someone she loved, Josephine smoked and paced and waited for the sun to rise.<br><br>

Evie touched herself along her cheek again, moving her hand up across her pointed ear, still truly not able to believe it was real. ''Best start believing, foolish girl, because you're not changing back anytime soon''. She had let the Fae change her from the beastie she had been to this radiant Eldren figure and she still felt incredibly guilty over the whole thing, if she was being honest with herself. She hadn't hardly slept none, but Alexi had been out like a light after turning his engine into a boat, so he hadn't noticed her getting up and wandering the area, checking out her new body. It turned out that she handled the rooftops (at least what was available to her) as well now as she did before, although the lack of a tail was going to take some getting adjusted to. And not being able to see in the dark was a loss she hadn't realized would cut quite so deeply. But she could still do the dance of the skyline pretty well and that had made her feel a little better for a little while at least. But it wasn't like the guilt was going to go away. Maybe not forever, she admitted to herself. After all, it was guilt coming from several different directions.<br><br>

And there was one of those directions, she thought as she saw Josephine standing by the cliff. Jo hadn't wanted to Evie to make the decision she had. In fact, Evie wasn't terribly sure Jo had wanted Evie to make any of the decisions that she had lately. And Evie felt a twist in her stomach at that. After all, she owed Josephine everything. Evie's life had been turned all helter-skelter in the shortest time possible. And mostly in good ways. She was in a place she hadn't had the imagination to even consider as a possibility those short months ago. The thought of what lay ahead both excited and terrified her, like she was choosing to walk in the reaper's shadow and thumbing her nose at him while she did it. But regardless of all that, she maybe owed Jo an apology.<br><br>

She walked up behind Jo, finding she could still be silent if she wanted to, as long as she made sure to put her feet in slightly different places. But she wasn't interested in startling Jo, at least not any more than she already had these past few days. "We still good, Jo?" Evie asked, cutting straight to the quick of it. If they weren't, she wanted to know right off.<br><br>

Josephine heard the whisper of grass underfoot a beat before Evie spoke up. It stabbed her how it was just one other way to measure how much had changed. Evie's query, however, made her stop dead in her tracks—it hadn't occurred to her that Evie would be thrown by the changes, perhaps even as thrown as Josephine herself. ''Which only goes to show'', her inner critic said. ''You are an ass, Josephine Arceneaux''. <br><br>

"Yes, Evie," Josephine turned to her partner with genuine relief even as she silently acknowledged her own faults. "We're still good. But I must confess I'm at a loss as to how we're going to proceed."<br><br>

"Thought you might be angry with me. Know you didn't agree with what I did." She settled down into a legs crossed sitting position in a smooth elegant motion. "I had my reasons," she said firmly, but with a hit of a pleading in it. There were no take backs on the decisions she had made...but that didn't mean she didn't want Jo to understand the why of them....why she had given up everything for the unknown.<br><br>

"Angry? ''Never''." It appalled her to realize Evie would think her so, when Josephine was hard put not to break down in tears over the thought of losing her. ''Yes. An incredibly hideous selfish ass. Don't deny it''. "Worried? Yes. Frightened? Most definitely. And proud? Very. What mother wouldn't be, to see her daughter all grown up and doing the hard things a grown woman must do? I would not hold you back from doing it and I would fight for your right to do it. We're partners, yes, but we're also family and family sticks together."<br><br>

It nothing but the truth and it was as close as she dared hint of her own fears, that perhaps Evie no longer needed her as a partner or as family. So many had walked into her world and in so short a time had walked out of it: Katherine and Ezekiel were now firmly established in their domesticity, Alexi had never been hers to command, and though Flora currently traveled with them she and Bertie were less crucial to Josephine's personal orbit than Evie. "No matter what title you gain, no matter whom you marry, no matter where you go, that will never change. You have my word on it."<br><br>

"I ain't afraid to admit I'm scared about everything ahead of me, Jo. Admitting that might be the only thing I ain't scared of." She looked up at her mentor. "I had tough decisions to make and I made them in a way I thought you'd be proud of." In a way that Evie desperately *wanted* her to be proud of. "I figured all the things in play and then I added them all up and figured out what was the right to do, no matter how scared I was." <br><br>

Evie bit her lip. "But I knew you might not want to walk with me down the road I saw ahead of me. And you're my second mother, Jo. I don't want to lose you."<br><br>

"No. You won't." Josephine sat right down on the grass and hugged Evie hard. She whispered fiercely into Evie's hair, missing the velvet of her fur even as she marveled at the strands lying silkily against her face. "I made you a promise. I will keep it, even if God Himself disagrees." She pulled back and stroked Evie's cheek. "And I am more proud of you than I can say. Marriage is a huge undertaking and Alexi will not be the most easily managed of husbands. Everything you've done since I've met you, all the decisions you've made since that day, make me believe that you can do this, that you can do anything you set your heart and mind to. It has been my greatest pleasure to watch you grow into your own, Evie, and I can only hope I might be allowed to continue."<br><br>

"You going to travel to Russia with me?" Left unsaid was the statement that Evie knew that any travel with Jo would only be temporary. Jo had her own things to do and they didn't involve hanging around the Russian court. But she wanted Jo to watch her get presented to the court...and be there as maybe her only friendly face from the outside world.<br><br>

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. England shall just have to do without me." If the Colonel would not see it clear to have her go on business, Josephine would formally ask for a leave of absence. If she were denied ... ''Or you could just simply go. It is always easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission''.<br><br>

"And what are we going to do about everything else, Jo? We going to go our separate ways?"<br><br>

"You are to be a Duchess of England and a Princess of Russia. And I am to be … whatever the Colonel and England must need me to be." Josephine smiled a wan little smile, hating the words but saying them nonetheless. She'd spent her life in pursuit of the truth, of learning the dark of things, and she'd trained herself to never quail from it, no matter how distasteful or disappointing the truth might be. She slipped her hands into Evie's and gave them a squeeze. "No matter how much I might wish it otherwise, I won't lie to you, Evie. Our roads are diverging but even if they were not, I cannot keep you at my side forever. You've grown your wings. It's time to fly and see the world and make it yours. You will go places that I cannot, go higher than I could possibly dream. If you tried to take me with you, I would only drag you down." Josephine smiled again and this time it had a feral gleam to it. And when she spoke, her voice was velvet over steel. "''But I promise you this: no matter where you go, if you need me, I will find you. Leave me word and I will come''. I am a spy. There are ways we can stay connected that no one else will know. It won't be easy, but you've never struck me as the sort that shied away from the hard." <br><br>

Evie wanted to offer Jo the world, now that she had it to offer. But she knew better. Pride and her had an close working relationship. And if the two of them were friends, then Jo and Pride might be lovers. And Evie wasn't going to piss all over her friend by implying she thought Jo needed a hand up. All Jo needed was the freedom to do the things she did best. But maybe she could make that easier on her. <br><br>

"Think about if you can use what I got to do what you need to do then, Jo. I need you to know how much you've done for me."<br><br>

Josephine froze at the words, struck hard by Evie's need to prove her gratitude when Josephine needed nothing of the sort. Too many words and emotions crowded to the fore then, and Josephine pulled Evie into a fierce hug, hoping it could say everything she could not. The moment grew heavy and threatened to break under the weight of what lay unexpressed.  So Josephine got a grip and whispered into Evie's ear. "Your ledger is clear. You've no red that you owe me. Love doesn't keep score. It's not love if it does. Do you hear me? I love you, Evie, and you don't owe me a damned thing."  <br><br>

Evie nodded tightly. "I don't owe but I want you in my life whatever that means." She was quiet for a minute, then she saw the first yellow and orange tendrils of the sunrise. "Look, Jo. I don't think I've ever seen a sunrise like this." <br><br>

She meant clear, without London's fog over the rooftops. But as she said it, she realized that it was also going to be her first sunrise with her new eyes. With her new life.<br><br>

"And it's going to be incredible," Josephine said. "But not one-tenth as incredible as I know you are and will be."  Josephine sat and dangled her legs over the edge of the cliff, swinging them idly as they watched the sunrise in companionable silence. Everything important had already been said and the future would take care of the rest.<br><br>


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