Candy Memories and Taffeta Nightmares
Mason opened the front door to let Zadie into the house and he offered her a faint smile though his eyes didn't quite reflect it. He disliked the way that seeing her made him feel. It felt in some ways like a betrayal of Caroline, and he wasn't happy about that. "She's upstairs restin' but I'm sure she'll be glad to see you," he told her, closing the door behind the teenager. He couldn't help himself, he still saw her as a kid-- he could still see the little girl that Caro babysat.
Zadie smiled and the expression sat badly enough that she just let it go. "I'm sorry Mason," she stated softly. "If I had had a way to keep her from it, I woulda." She made no effort to touch him, to do those comforting rituals of laying a warm hand on his arm and rubbing to connect to another human being. She wasn't human anymore, not enough to matter, and she knew that he would flinch. That would hurt more than she felt like hurting right now. She came into the house and nodded. "Thanks for being so kind, Mason. You're a good man. She made the right choice." She made for the steps as he shut the door and sighed. Too good for this mess, she thought ruefully.
"Somehow after seein' all that I've seen in the past few days, kiddo, I'm thinkin' there wasn't a way to keep her out short of gettin' her to stay in Atlanta." Mason paused and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking back toward the stairwell before returning his gaze to Zadie."There's a lotta shoulda-coulda-woulda goin' around. Ain't nothin' to be done about it now but keep on keepin' on." His blue eyes grew cooler. "But you an' me? We gotta get a few things straight. You want blood? You take mine. You want someone killed? You tell me about it and you keep her out of it. An' you make sure you got enough magic or whatever the hell it is you and Gramma Willie do to keep my child safe."
Her foot paused on the first step and she turned big cornflower blues on him. "I ain't wanted your blood, Mason. And I didn't want you to have mine. . .Caroline did. I can get the blood I want and you darlin' ain't got enough to begin to help me with what mess I'm doing. And if I want someone dead, I will handle it. I ain't gonna bother you nor Caroline about it. You need to keep in mind Mason that me and Gramma are on a steeplearnin' curve and we're trying as hard as we can to hold on and stay on the road. But it's a gruesome road fraught with danger." She stepped back and then seemed to appear right beside him. "Gramma and I will do everything in ourpower to keep your children safe, Mason. And I'm gonna give you every power that I can through my blood so that you are strong enough to help us with that task." She stared up into his face, youth made lie by the alien predator peeking through her eyes. "I am on your side, even if it doesn't seem that way. And you don't need to make no veiled threats to make me feel that way. I am still Zadie, Mason. You know me."
"Do I?" he asked quietly, his jaw clenched in obvious effort not to jump when she moves like that. Mason might have only been a sergeant, but he'd seen combat. And he was far more dangerous than Caroline gave him credit for. "What I know is that the little girl I used to carry on my back and throw around in the pool is a bloodsuckin' vampire who has given me her blood to drink and made it so I'll do whatever it is she wants of me."
Her eyes softened. "That wasn't so long ago," she admitted. Without thinking, she blushed, feeling the blood move unbidden to her cheeks. The warmth there was almost a foreign feeling, forgotten but welcome, and she smiled minxishly giving voice to the thought that caused the blush. "I didn't need blood to make you do what I wanted when I was a little 'un, Mason. There wasn't a candy made that I couldn't get you to buy me once upon a time." She let her eyes twinkle, happy in the memory.
Mason watched her expression, hisown softening in response. "No," he agreed. "No, there wasn't." Sadness mixed with it. "But what you'll ask of me now, kiddo, is a whole hell of a lot more deadly," he said quietly. He jerked his chin toward the stairs. "G'wan," he told her. "I reckon you and she got a lot to work out."
Zadie nudged him gently with her shoulder. "Yeah," she admitted. "First of all being, think hard about where you stick your durn arm." She tilted her head at him and bit her lip. "It's just the storm before the sun, Mason. And I'll try not to ask you for anything but your friendship. I know that might be the hardest request of all right now." She scampered upstairs before he could reply, intent on avoiding anymore bittersweet reverie. She was spending entirely too much time in impotent regret and she had a feeling that her conversation with Caroline would just add more onto that pile of sorry and frustration in her head.
Mason watched her go, his hands still in his pockets. He still had too much anger and anxiety to really feel comfortable in this situation, so he said nothing else. He merely left her to let herself into Caroline's room.
When Zadie opened the bedroom door to Caroline's master bedroom, it looked the same as always. The dark blue-gray carpet was offset by midnight blue covers onthe bed and wallpaper with brush strokes of silver, blue, and softest rose. The sandy blond sleeping in the bed looked a bit frail, but the dog at the foot of the bed wagged her tail uncertainly. She whined quietly and then nosed Caroline's hand. It brought Caroline awake quickly, the habit too ingrained to ignore. When she opened her eyes, it took her a moment to realize that she wasn't alone, and then she pushed upright shoving her hair out of her face. "Zadie," she murmured. "I was wonderin' when you were goin' to show up and gimme what-for. Took you long enough." Her tone was rueful.
Zadie cocked her head like an inquisitive dog. "Kinda been busy." She made her way over the carpet, trailing her hand over Maggie's head as she settled herself carefully on the bed. "That and leaping on the pile of folks who probably told you that was really dumb seemed kinda unfair." She smiled gently. "You were brave. And stupid as hell. Why?"
"Because ..... he doesn't like you. And I didn't want you to get dead because he couldn't rein it in. I'd hoped that for me he would pull back." Caroline shrugged a bit. "I gather it was a noble but futile gesture -- he would never have been able to stop it. And apparently you had it well in hand, or so Cord tells me." She sighed quietly. "It seemed like the right thing to do, Zadie."
The young vampire patted the leg hidden under the blanket. "If it makes you feel better, then I didn't," Zadie announced with asmile. "And it seems you got a lifelong friend as loyal as Maggie here. That's good for bad. And well, honey, I am dead." She squinched her noseat her cousin, hoping for a smile. "Gramma's convinced that he's fighting a losing battle anyway. That he's longing for my flesh. I can't convince her that Cord'll take the flesh, the blood, and then use my head for a football. But he's a good ally for you, Caroline. I'm serious as all about that."
Caroline blinks. And then dies laughing. She can't help it. "Gramma Willie thinks he wants to .... oh my." She paused. "Can vampires still do that?" The curiosity is very real. It's something she hadn't really thought much about, and suddenly it occurred to her. It could be something dead ... undead... don't do! Maybe. Although they're still sorta human and all. She tried to shut her mind down just to wait for Zadie's answer.
The smile Zadie gave her was wry andwicked. "I get all sorts of jollies outta of drinking from a live person, but the other is still possible and enjoyable. The parts didn't fall off,Caroline!" She sniffed and fixed Caroline with bright eyes. "Rooster and Shane haven't complained." Her lips pursed and she then she let out a strangled giggle. "It took sucking to a new level," she managed before dissolving into helpless laughter.
Oh that's just more information than Caroline wanted to know, certainly! She turned a deep shade of red. "You're so bad," she complained good-naturedly, swatting at Zadie. "Bad as your mama." Shaking her head, though, she couldn't help but laugh. "ANYWAY. She thinks Cord's got the hots for you? I dunno.... he doesn't seem to like you all that much, and it could be that he acts that way cuz he wants you. But he doesn't strike me as that kind of guy." She shrugged and grinned. "Hell, what do I know, though?"
"If Cord wants me, then I'm a monkey's mama," Zadie announced with a sniff. "If you can't kindle to Mama, then you ain't got no wick to light. And he didn't kindle with Mama rubbing all over him like he were a dirty floor and she was the mop to clean him! The man's got two things on his mind and that's animals and cars. And now you. He respects you. And now he's primogen for the Gangrels and he's killed two Princes. Not too shabby a friend, lady." She wiggled to get more comfortable on the bed and fixed her cousin with her gaze. "On another topic, Mason don't cotton to me no more."
Caroline blinked, her eyes following Zadie's mouth's movements but the words making no sense at the end. "What do you mean by that?" she asked, worried. The topic of Cord, so far as Caroline was concerned, was simply moot at this point. Her relationship with the man was what it was.
Zadie realigned herself so that her cousin could see her mouth better. "Mason is not comfortable with me anymore. He is scared, confused and posturing as hard as a man can. He doesn't like that he is now tied to me and isn't in control of his own mind when it comes to me. It's scary Caroline. But me telling him that I understand won't help I think. And I do understand. Gramma and I are bloodbound to the Tremere two steps. It's not fun to find yourself wanting to do for someone that you didn't want to before." She looked away and then realized that Caroline wouldn't understand a word she said next and turned back. "He's not happy to be my ghoul."
Well.... Caroline shifted on her pillow and curled up on her side, facing her cousin. "I'm not so thrilled to be Evangaline's either, but... " She bit her lip. "Maybe I can talk to him?" she offered. "I ... Ithought he understood that it was the only option unless or until I turned,but... honestly, Zadie. He won't even let me give him an out on this. He walked out of this room the other day insisting that no matter what, he's in this for the long haul." She looked worried.
"And good for him. He's a man in love. He lost you once and now he ain't gonna let go." Zadie smiled tightly. "But he's a man who don't want to be leashed and leashed against his will to an undead girl." Her mouth tightened even more. "Moreover to the little girl who in his memories wasn't an evil thing who did the things that he saw me do. Whether or not he understands the logic of it don't matter. His heart is rebelling. His heart tells him to get you outta here. And his mind tells him that he isn't powerful enough to do that. That's hard for a man. To accept that he ain't got the power to fix something. Especially when fixing that something would bring the smile back to his honey's face." She forced blood to her fingers to warm them, leaned over to take Caroline's cheek in her hand. "I miss seeing you smile and really mean it. So does he."
She didn't know what to say to that. A rush of tears blurred Caroline's vision, effectively cutting off her ability to 'hear' anything Zadie said. But she murmured softly, "He took me to the park on the bike. It seems like... forever ago. But it was only a few days. And I keep wonderin'... if that was the last day that we will ever be truly happy with one another." The admission killed her to make and Caroline swallowed hard. "I don't know what to do, Zadie. Do you think if we run it would do a bit of good? I'm told that... it's like a drug. That it can drive you mad with wanting. Just look what it did to the Colonel."
"Hey hey!" Zadie put both hands to Caroline's face, moving closer. "If I gotta ship it to you, then damn girl, there's FedEx! You can go as far as you want as long as you can get some UPS driver or FedEx dude to your place. Drug dealers ship their shit from South America and it hits the New York streets and the junkie's veins in days. I can ship you vampire blood anywhere you want. The Colonel wasn't completely broken by the blood. He was broken by her allure. Evangeline has a power of charm, a presence that is impossible to resist. It's what she sees in you naturally, one of the many things that draws her to you and makes her want to make you her own." She used her thumbs to gently wipe the tears from Caroline's eyes and cheeks. "C'mon, you're just feeling sorry for yourself. And I'm sure that your body is still a bit beat up from being drained. When you feel better, you won't feel so beat down and chewed up."
Caroline nodded a little, struggling through the wash of water to follow what's been said. And then she grimaced. "You're a mass of contradictions, you know," she informed her cousin."On the one hand, you're all telling me how horrible and bad life as a vampire is, that all we'll be is monsters and we'll constantly have to fight our more primal selves. And then in the next breath, you're telling me I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Which is it, Zadie?" She had to laugh a little. "I wish y'all'd stick to the same page of the script and not waffle."
"Both," Zadie informed her with all the knowing certainty of a teenager. "It sucks big time and it's the greatest power trip I've everhad. You're simultaneously the low man on the totem pole and yet the greatest mofo to stride the streets. Kinda humbling and frustrating. I don't want you to be turned." She blew a lock of hair from her eyes, growling as it fell back and then smoothed it fastidiously back out of the way. "But I'll admit to kinda being secretly pleased to think that I'll have you and Gramma to get tired of for eternity. It was looking kinda lonely for me and Gramma otherwise. Now at least I'll have you to sympathize with since both Gramma and Mama are turned." She grinned sheepishly. "Selfish much isn't it?"
It's the fact that Zadie was still a teenager that worried Caroline more than anything. Perhaps it was time she had a conversation with someone a little older and wiser. Gramma Willie perhaps. It was something to consider. But for the moment Caroline simply wiped her tears and said quietly, "The most I can hope for right now is just keeping my wits about me." She paused. "Mama's goin' to have a complete conniption, but I'm thinkin' that Mason and I might be doin' the courthouse thing very very soon and Mama can plan a weddin' to end all weddin's for later in the year. Maybe near the holidays. How much hell d'you think I'll take for elopin'?" She grinned a little.
"Less hell than if you buck Evangaline or cross her sister." The answer was quick and solemn.
"Ain't it the truth?" Caroline retorted on a snort. "That'd be like tellin' Grandmama 'no' on somethin, wouldn't it just?"
"No doubt. You do it at nightso I can come? The second wedding?" She just couldn't see them getting wed before the night magistrate so that all their undead friends could come. Of course the itchy-burny feeling of the church and a full service night wedding didn't make her jump up and down either. But she would attend. No question.
With a grin, Caroline said, "I was actually thinkin' it'd be quite lovely to convince Mama to have a full-on formal affair in the autumn or even on New Year's. That way we'd be able to do it at the country club with no one the wiser. And then... if Mason wants, we can have it blessed by the Church. I haven't really been church-goin' the last few years, so it doesn't make a bit of difference to me about the church part. But it will to Grandmama so we'll have to make sure to get it blessed. Still, a country club wedding I think I can sell Mama on -- after all, that's where Mason and I met. It'd be terribly romantic, right?"
"Horribly," Zadie agreed, leaning back. Caroline seemed to be calming, less prone to tears. Zadie was aware that she didn't have many tools to help her cousin other than her own experience and that was as close to nothing as possible. She forced the bright expression on her face into her eyes. Despite Caroline concentrating on her mouth, even she would notice the narrowed appraising look that the young vampire was giving her. Zadie nodded with happy accord. "Your Mama would love the country club for the reception. You're gonna have to talk fast to get her to agree to a non-church wedding. Hell, even Gramma will be scandalized at that. Tho' she'd have the devil of time going to a night church wedding. We 'bout itched and twitched ourselves silly trying to prove that we could go to church on Wednesday nights like usual."
Caroline seemed to be considering what Zadie was telling her. Fast talking wasn't exactly a strong suit for her, but Caroline smiled wickedly. "Well, I guess I could tell Mama that she can take the chance that I'll be huge walkin' down the aisle if she dawdles on the weddin' details."
Zadie gasped reflexively and then giggled. "Lordy, lordy, lordy! Your mama would just die, Caroline. I just got you outta the hospital; I don't think I could handle having to check Mary Alice in." She giggled some more, finally wiping bloody tears from her eyes. "Damn, I'll have to eat again if you make me laugh like that anymore." Sobering, she raised an eyebrow at her cousin. "Truly Caroline. What is the long term plan? You getting married is just a stone on the path. What is the destination? I swore to protect you and yours to your man downstairs with every little bit of magic I have, but it would help to know the long term plan, you know?"
It sobered Caroline and she turned her eyes from her cousin for a long moment to think about the question. When she looked back, her expression was serious. "Maybe it's stupid....but I want what little of my human life is left to be what it should have been,Zadie. I haven't got all the answers. Hell, I barely understand the questions yet." She sighed. "But he says that no matter what, he's here for the long haul. For eternity, if that's what we get to have together. And it might be stupid, but ...." She bit her lip. "I wanna have that family. If I hadn't been such a damn coward when I went deaf, I might already have that. But I was ... afraid. And I didn't want to be taken care of. I needed to stand on my own two feet. To prove that I wasn't some helpless debutante." Her fingers picked restlessly at the coverlet. "As to the longer long-term plans... Evangaline's attentions are fickle. But Eliza strikes me as the brains behind the operation. So... my intention is to remain on their good side. Perhaps be useful to Eliza as well as representing Evangaline well. And ultimately making damn sure that I'm placed well enough that if push ever comes to shove again, I'm in the right position to be sure that all of those who are ours, Zadie Calhoun, are safe." A flicker of steel showed in her gaze, a reflection of Cecilia if Zadie ever saw one. "I aim to be sure home stays a good place for the living."
"Fair 'nuff." Zadie met her cousin's gaze with one of blue fire. Her granddaddy was of Irish descent and his fire had gone straight through to his granddaughter and shone in her temper. "I'm with you for that. And not because I need them to feed on. I want to try to be a better, um. . .vampire. I help and I know Gramma will help you any way that we can. And while you are human, you gotta promise to keep me on the straight and narrow, Caroline." Her shoulders sagged, weighted withsadness. "It's ironic that I'm sworn to protect your children when I couldn't save those others. Hell, I drained three. I tried to just put them to sleep, but I messed up and had to just kill the oldest boy after I accidentally killed his siblings. I just turned my back and left Gramma kill the three other children. I don't know if you want me guarding your kids, Caroline. If Mason knew that, he'd never let me inside tonight. Heck, if he knew that, I'd probably wake up tomorrow as me and Gramma were dumped out into the yard into the morning sun."
Caroline didn't want to talk about those kids. Not even close. She kept her eyes on Zadie's lips as they moved and she replied softly, "I let her do it too. And I asked Cord to kill the colonel without any compunction. He was a threat to Mason." Her jaw clenched but her chin came up. "I'll trust my kids to you, Zadie, because you're my cousin. You'd give your own life to protect my children. And we both know that if you were ever a threat to my kids, you'd better stake yourself faster than I could get to you," she said quietly.
"Staking isn't fatal," Zadie replied quietly, her voice solemn though Caroline couldn't hear. "Important to remember." She took Caroline's hand in hers. "Burn us, drain us completely or just put us out in the sun. Staking us just makes us easier to transport outside." She gave her cousin a sickly, weak smile. "Even dismembering us isn't fatal. Enough blood and we can be knit back together. Just an FYI to make you have screaming nightmares."
"It's information that I need to know," Caroline admitted. And she squeezed Zadie's hand tightly."I'm not sure there is anything worse to add to my screaming nightmares." She forced a small smile. "Love you, cuz. Even though you're a pain the butt."
Zadie stuck out her tongue and freed her hands to slip her arms around her cousin. "Love you too, mini Mary A," she told her, using the nickname that her Gramma sometimes called Caroline. "I’ll not keep you up anymore; you need to rest." She rose smoothly to her feet and began to walk off. But she paused in the doorway. "Don't you ever stick your arm in front of a rabid vampire again, beloved Cuz. I ain't never been so scared as I was seeing you white and still like that on the ground and I ain't never seen Gramma so shaken. Leave the dumbass stuff to me. I'm younger and can pull it off better." She shimmied her rear with a grin. "Besides, I'll make a hotter corpse than you. You're just too darn pretty to look anything but tragic and heartrending. I'll just look damn fine!"
Caroline hugged her tightly andlet her go, chuckling softly. "I won't," she promised the girl in the doorway. "I learned my lesson about that at least. And don't be shimmying your booty at me, girl, I'll stick it in pink taffeta just to make you look stupid."
"Ooooo, nasty thing!"Zadie yelped with horror and then vanished from the doorway, her giggles heard only by Maggie and Mason as she slipped down the stairs and out into the night.
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