Distilled Spirits

Summer’s Gift – 21 October 2520 – Pericles Station
Joshua and Shepherd Faria are seated at the long table, Faria as the paying passenger, and perhaps a bit because of the wheelchair, Joshua because he cooked. Rina is working with fury in the Galley on the dishes. Faria pulls out a bottle from under his wheel chair. He pours himself a glass and offers a snifter of brandy to whoever is interested.

Faria: “Brandy anyone?”
Joshua: Joshua reaches over and takes the brandy. "I don't think I've ever had brandy, honestly. But new things are pretty common these days."
Rina: After a moment's hesitation, Rina pokes her head out from the galley where she'd been doing the dishes. "Brandy?"
Faria: "It is not particularly good brandy, but it might suffice."
Joshua: "Come in, Rina. I'll do the dishes later. It'll give me something else to do."
Faria: "I can lend one hand..." Faria smiles.
Rina: "Hang on. I'll just give them a lick and a promise." And true to her word, running water and scraping drifts out the galley door. Three minutes later, she emerges wiping her hands on a dishtowel and pulling out a chair at the table, parks herself in it.
Joshua: Joshua tries a sip of the brandy and makes a bit of a puckering face. "That's...interesting."
Faria takes a sip, and lets the aroma of the drink waft into his nostrils.
Faria: "You don't remember the taste, Mr. Drake?"
Joshua: Joshua raises an eyebrow. "Well, first, I generally let all the people that question my soul call me Joshua. And second, should I remember it? Because I've not had any in my memory."
Faria: "Did they let you keep your memories.
Rina: Rina holds the glass in her hands to warm it a little first, enjoying the aroma of it. A sip sends her eyebrows upward. The conversation unfolding before her send them down again.
Joshua: "They didn't tell me what they did. But I don't remember before I was 12, and nothing before Blue Sun." He pauses. "So, certainly a possibility that they didn't. Of course, I probably wasn't drinking brandy at 12."
Faria: "I mean the memories you made after that, are those yours, or theirs?"
Joshua: "Might as well ask me if this is real." He pointed at the glass in front of him. "I only have my own senses to go on. The memories feel real to me. If they aren't, how would I go about proving it anyway?"
Faria: “Touché.”
Joshua: "If they aren't mine, Blue Sun did an excellent job. I feel like the sum of my memories."
Faria: "I sometimes wonder if this really is Brandy, or if Blue Sun just labeled this 'Brandy' and I can't remember what Brandy really tastes like."
Rina: "Maybe we're all dreaming in cryobeds in a secret lab somewhere and everything we think we experience is piped in directly into our cerebral cortex." Rina snorts into her brandy.
Joshua: Joshua scratches his head at that one for a minute. "If you like it, does it matter if it is? Sort of like if Rina likes me, does it matter that the memories that form me weren't me?"
Faria: "I guess appearances are all we have. And you sir, are able to appear as whatever you need."
Rina: "It does matter if you agreed to lie down in that bed or if you were forced to." Rina's glass clicks solidly on the table.
Faria raises an eyebrow.
Joshua: Looking at Faria, Joshua shakes his head. "I can't be anything. And it has never been really about what *I* needed."
Faria: "Does that matter?"
Joshua: "I didn't say it mattered. I was just clarifying." He picks up the glass of brandy and gives it another try. And makes the face again, putting it back down.
Rina: "If we're going to argue that a person is the end result of his experiences as opposed to his genetic inheritance, then I'd say that a person's memories is an important part of what makes a person who they are. As such, I don't think they should be ...mucked with."
Faria: "I wish this debate could be purely academic, but Blue Sun changed all that didn't it?"
Rina: "They did."
Faria: "Indeed, we now have living proof."
Joshua: Joshua sighes softly. It felt like the Shepherd wanted something out of him, but he couldn't figure out what, for the life of him. "Proof of what, really?"
Rina: Rina fiddled with her glass, watching the light play through the brandy. "Proof of what, exactly? That you can go in, wipe a man clean, fill his head with images and information tailored to your agenda, send him out to achieve an end that furthers it? Then yes, there's proof. Is it proof that the person is better for it? Or more obedient? Docile? Loyal? Not so much. If that were the case, Joshua wouldn't be here. So doesn't that argue that for all their interference, there's something more to a human being than just his memories.?"
Faria: "Unless.."
Rina: "Here it comes."
Faria: Faria looks into Joshua's eyes looking for him to answer.
Joshua: "Unless of course, they programmed me this way."
Faria: "Do you think they could?"

On mostly silent feet, Nika pauses in the hallway to listen to the conversation in the lounge. She's making no attempt to hide, merely to not interrupt as she leans one shoulder against the wall and crosses her arms to observe.

Joshua: "I can read people's minds. I don't even begin to pretend how they did that. I don't think they programmed me this way. But it wouldn't surprise me to find out they could."
Rina: "It's not a matter of whether they could do this to someone. Isn't the real question should they be allowed to do it without the informed consent of the subject?"
Faria: "Not to mention some of the failed experiments."
Rina: "What failed experiments? And how would you know about them?"
Faria: "Most everyone saw that Wave my dear."
Joshua: "Is there really a big argument to be had in 'Blue Sun are not nice people'?" He looks at Faria. "My question is: Must the end result of an evil process always be evil?"
Rina: "Oh, those failed experiments." Rina purses her lips. "Silly me, I should have widened my focus. But whether you're discussing a single individual or an entire planet full of people, should anyone or any organization be allowed to experiment on people without their informed consent?" And to Joshua, she says, "Not if the people caught up in that process are able to resist being a party to it."
Faria: "My question is, is there even such a thing as 'Evil' anymore?"
Rina: And to the Shepherd she says, "Yes. There is. It never went away. It just got better at disguising itself."
Joshua: "Really?" He tilts his head. "You don't think there is Evil? Seems like an odd stance for a Shepherd."
Nika: "You don't believe in Evil, Shepherd?" Nika echoes curiously, shoving off the bulkhead and walking into the lounge. She seems pretty laid back about the question, simple curiosity as she heads for the kitchen to help herself to coffee.
Faria: "My job would suddenly become irrelevant if I didn't."
Joshua: "That's silly, Shepherd. Are you saying everything bad that happens is caused by Evil? That if Evil disappeared, there wouldn't be people in need of comfort?"
Faria: "It was a joke... but actually, if there was no evil, there'd be no freewill, and that.. well that would spell the end of everything, everything that means anything. Don't you think?"
Joshua: Joshua rubs his forehead. "Ok, sure. No free will would be bad. We have to be able to make our own decisions."
Faria: "And there, if you pardon my expression, lies the crux."
Joshua: Led along like he had a ring in his nose.
Rina: "How so?" Rina asks warily. "Shouldn't we make our own decisions, both good and bad, and learn from the consequences?"
Joshua: "I think he's saying that Blue Sun is taking the decisions out of people's hands. Correct me if I'm wrong, Shepherd."

Nika leans against the wall to the kitchen with her coffee cup in her hand, sipping while she listens.

Faria: "You know more than most, Joshua."
Joshua: He nodded. "Although I might argue that while my decision pool was limited, it was not removed. Assuming my memories are true, of course."
Faria: "how much self doubt should we have in times like these?"
Nika: "Not much," the pilot finally speaks up from her perch. "A little self-doubt is okay; it makes you doublecheck yourself and your actions. But too much will paralyze you."
Rina: "Enough to keep us examining our choices, and not so much we're paralyzed from making them." 'Duh', her tone said.
Joshua: And Joshua lets loose a huge laugh and almost falls out of his seat. "If I'm your example," he says in between laughing, "then the answer is one hundred fifty percent." He pauses. "Give or take ten percent."
Rina: "Self doubt is a tool, Shepherd, that we can use to judge ourselves. If we didn't doubt ourselves, we would just plow blindly on without thought of the consequences of our actions."
Faria: "So the two of you see self doubt as, at best, a necessary evil, that is because you think you know who you are, and ,God willing, you do.. But you (he points to Joshua) you are beginning to realize that is not possible, or advisable."
Joshua: Joshua gets the laughter under control, grabs his glass, and gulps the remaining brandy, coughing as it goes down. "Tastes better that way. And I think I need it."
Faria: "When I joined the Marines, I wasn't sure I could kill a man. I just couldn't imagine hating someone enough to kill them. But then I learned. I didn't have to hate them to kill them. I just needed to be properly motivated."
Joshua: "Is that really all it takes?" Joshua asks, a little sadly.
Faria: Faria follows Joshua's example and downs the rest of his. "I didn't say it were easy. But that was when it took more than a scalpel and dose of some drug to make a man. Now. Now I don't know."
Nika: Nika smiles faintly, not really amused. Softly, simply, she tells Joshua, "Yes. That's all it takes."
Joshua: "I've never killed anyone," Joshua says out of nowhere.
Rina: "Don't start," Rina points her finger at the Shepherd.
Nika: "I hope you never have to," Nika replies mildly.
Faria: "I've pledged to never do so again. And I hope I keep that pledge... I'll be damned before I let some cola peddlers make that choice for me, or you my boy if I have anything to say about it." He tips the bottle to his glass again.
Rina: "What about killing in self-defense, or in defense of another. Would you stand down and let someone kill an innocent rather than kill to protect them?"
Faria: "I said 'I hope I keep that pledge...' But I want it to be my choice."
Joshua: Joshua grows silent for a while. What if he had killed someone...lots of someones, and Blue Sun had just wiped him clean?
Rina: "I can get behind that." Rina salutes him with her glass.
Joshua: "I wonder if I exist now because someone else doesn't." It seems the brandy had made him a little maudlin.
Nika: There's a raise of an eyebrow and Nika looks at the Shepherd and Rina. "How much of that stuff have you let him have?" she asks in amusement.
Faria: "In Vino Veritas?"
Joshua: Joshua looks at Nika, an offended look on his face. "It's a real question. If we found that Blue Sun had taken away someone else's memories to 'create' me, and they could be put back....would I be morally obliged to do so?"
Faria: "What if that person was You? Would you owe it to yourself?"
Rina: "Are you asking if Blue Sun had all of Joshua's original memories, pre-tampering, would they be obligated to give them back if Joshua wanted them?"
Joshua: "I guess." He holds out his glass for a refill. "I like myself as much as the next guy."
Faria: "Would he want them, if it would mean, changing who he is now?"
Faria: "Would you close the book on that Joshua, to be this one?"
Joshua: "Right now, I'm not even sure who this Joshua is." He reaches forward and pours himself more brandy while he answers.
Rina: "You mean, to commit suicide-by-memory?"
Nika: Nika merely blows out a breath and shakes her head. "Seems like that kind of circular questioning is guaranteed to make a body crazy and there ain't no answers out there anyway," she opines quietly.
Joshua: "The old Joshua is innocent." he says. "Wouldn't he deserve better?"
Rina: "If you agree that someone could be erased by removing memories or by restoring them, like reformatting a disc wipes everything that went before clean, then you could make the argument that killing someone for their crime is no longer necessary. Just wipe their memories, remove the culprit and in their place put in a productive member of society. The flesh lives on, no murder has been committed...if you believe that flesh is all there is to a man."
Rina: Rina frowns at the table top. "As it so happens, I don't."
Faria: "Perhaps our delightfully conversational pilot is correct. Too much Brandy, too much philosophy."
Joshua: Joshua takes another large gulp of brandy. "This stuff is getting better."
Rina: "Or you're getting drunker."
Joshua: "Maybe you're right. One foot in front of the other, walk down the path, one day at a time, there is no end.." He looks up at the ceiling. "Or something like that."
Nika: Nika laughs softly. "Sorry, Shepherd -- I just tend to like thinking about the questions that have no answers in a quieter space, where I don't feel like I gotta argue or defend my point. I'm not much of one for debating when the arguments just go round and round."
Rina: "How's this for a straightforward argument: does evil exist?"
Faria: Faria backs away from the table, and wheels himself towards his suite. "Oh, and Joshua. If you ask me. Whatever Ms. Earhart might think, I have to believe that it is okay to think about it. It might save all our lives." And then he rolls into his suite and closes the door.
Rina: "Was it something I said?"
Joshua: "And I was going to tell him, it was okay if he needed to kill me if Blue Sun took me back over." He took another sip. "Heck, it's okay for all of you. I give you forgiveness in advance since the Shepherd isn't here to do it."
Rina: "Okay, you've had enough." Rina reached over and pulled the glass out of Joshua's hand. "We're cutting you off."
Joshua: "Fair enough." He stood up a little woosily. "Perhaps you could assist me to my room, my lady."
Nika: Nika mmms. "Didn't say not to think about it," she observes. "Just said I didn't like debating the matter over and over." She snickers at Joshua. "Drink a lot of water before you crash, lightweight," she teases gently.


Timeline
Mutineers