Episode 515: Ithaca Rumble, Special Features

GALLERY OF GUEST STARS

Racy is an enterprising and car-savvy young woman, who has dreams of owning and operating her own land-based cab business despite her former status as a Tong prostitute. She was sold into the trade by the Jing Jing Bei and in their quest to rescue the victims of the JJB list, the crew of Equinox manage to effect her escape. She is now plying her cab business in Georgia system.

DIALOGUE TO REWIND FOR

Part 1:
Rina: Is there a description? So we don’t regard everybody with suspicion?
Joshua: I don’t think we’re going to have to worry about that.
Kiera: (eyeroll at Rina) When are you not going to regard everybody with suspicion?

Manse: Any delay.
Kiera: Any delay. We’re talkin’ monetary or planetary?
Manse: Stuck on some 40 year old freighter? Out in space? Not my idea of fun.
Kiera: I am wounded!

Kiera: Sure. We have a smart table, very wonderful accommodations, one of the best cooks this side of any planet you’re sailin’ on, and I will make your bed lovingly. It is not so horrible you think it is.
Manse: Is that some sort of code?

Kiera: Half? I think I misheard you. I think you said half, but that couldn’t possibly been it at all. So, um, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention. If you could repeat yourself—it was very rude of me to be so inattentive.
Manse: Maybe out here on the Rim they don’t teach fractions.
Kiera: No, apparently not.

Kiera: Well, I’m not going to give it for 50% off. Cuz if something happens, according to that agreement if there was any kind of delay, we’d end up paying you. And I love you but your company ain’t that charmin’.

Manse: Well, with it being so valuable, maybe we should get a free ride just to see how it goes. And we can tell everybody how good a ride it is.
Kiera: I don’t think what you’re advertising is worth a free ride, though.

Gangsta Punk: Are you talkin’ to me, Mista’?
Arden: Yeah, I’m talking to you. Don’t hit the ladies.

Gangsta Punk: (pissed) Whaddya want? This is my street. Whaddya want?
Arden: Find another street.

Gangsta Pimp: You don’t want this kinda trouble, man.
Arden: I got five more bullets. You want to start running now?

Joshua: Racy? Pleasure to meet you. We’re here to rescue you. We’re here to rescue you from a life of badness.

Joshua: You didn’t value this truck, did you Arden? Or your life? Or their lives?

Joshua: Get off the road! Get off the road or pass me!

Rina: Grahh! How many jock straps did Joshua order anyway?
Nika: (Eww!) I don’t wanna know. It could be worse. It could be a crate full of barbells.
Rina: Obviously your definition of worse is different from mine.

Nika: Equinox.
Arden: (yelling over the comms) We’re in trouble! Help!
Nika: Good grief. What have you done now?
Joshua: (ditto) Don’t worry! We’re going 60, 70 miles an hour!
Arden: We’re being chased by a bunch of bad people and hot cars.

Joshua: Arden, you might want to tell them to hurry.
Nika: What?!
Arden: You might want to hurry!

Arden: We’re really trying to help you. Honest.
Racy: Let go!
Joshua: Giselle, tell the girl we’re rescuing her! Please?

Rina: Lagniappe? Abseil? Me out the hatch with an assault rifle?
Nika: No. You and Beggar keep this. (waves at the cargo) I’ll take the shuttle out.
Rina: Would you bring back a quart of milk and a loaf of bread?

Joshua: (over the comms) Ow, that hurt.
Nika: (comms back) Based on the way you were driving, you oughta be.
Rina: (calling out) If you come home unhurt, we can hurt you.

Joshua: Nice ride!

Arden: Maybe he’s friendly. Stranger things have happened.
Joshua: I’m pretty sure I watched him try to stab you and then you threatened him with a gun. So I’m guessing he’s not friendly.

Arden: Let me drive.
Joshua: You’ve got two women in your lap. How are you going to get over to this side?
Arden: We’ll figure out a way.
Joshua: We’re gonna die. And not the good kind of exciting death. No, the death at 15 miles an hour, and you’ve got the women in your lap.

Arden: Drive faster! I would suggest evasive-ing.

Joshua: (impressed) Wow! Did you see that? Wow!
Arden: We need to get one of those.
Joshua: We’ll take theirs!

Arden: Go! (turns around) We’ll make sacrifices to the luck gods later.
Joshua: There are luck gods? Cool!

Joshua: Okay, the fun’s wearing off, Arden.
Arden: Yaahh. A long time ago.

Nika: Please tell me there’s a door on the far side.
Joshua: There could be!
Arden: There’s a door on the far side. I don’t know but maybe there’s one.
Joshua: There could be! If there not, I’ll go through it.
Nika: There better be by the time I get there.

Part 2:
Arden: You can stop now, Joshua.
Joshua: Yeah, I think I’m gonna have to.

Nika: You guys wanna tell me what you’ve been doing?
Arden: We were ... rescuing the young lady and the pimp decided he didn’t like that so he called his friends and we ran. It’s pretty simple.

Joshua: Did you see? Through the window? Like—phtewwwwwwhhhhhh!

Nika: You get to explain to your fiancée why we no longer have a mule.
Joshua: (enthused) Because I jumped through a window!
Rina: (butting in) Instead of going through the skylight?
Joshua: I didn’t see the skylight. I saw the window.
Arden: I was too busy screaming in terror with my eyes closed.
Joshua: I didn’t see the skylight. I’m sorry. (a beat) It was much more dramatic going through the window.

Kiera: Where is the mule at again?
Nika: (eyeroll, sigh) In a puddle of toxic waste.

Joshua: I’ve always wanted to say this but … I learned it from you, Nika. I learned it from you.
Nika: (flying on) You didn’t learn it well enough cuz your truck didn’t run anymore after that.

Joshua: This truck didn’t move that fast, I’d like to point that out. I couldn’t even get it up to 70. Geez.
Nika: (flying on) That’s your fiancée’s department. Not mine.
Joshua: Get me a truck that goes fast.

Joshua: But did you see me go through the window?
Nika: (relenting) I have to tell you, in that truck? That was pretty damn impressive.
Joshua: Then my work here is done.

Nika: So, instead of just hiring her services and finding out what she wanted—
Arden: I tried that. The pimp got uppity.
Nika: Arden just used the word ‘uppity’ with me.

Arden: I apologize. I don’t mean to kidnap you. We honestly had the best of intentions.

Nika: Yeah. That was my biggest concern. I’m offering the option but I wouldn’t recommend it. And I apologize for the fact, being as it was not supposed to happen.
Joshua: We didn’t plan it this way. I promise you, Captain.
Racy: (dubious) You guys do this a lot?
Arden: Well … not up til now.

Nika: Snark will not get you anywhere today.
Arden: I just said it wasn’t original.
Nika: Sarcasm. And snark. Not going to fly today.
Arden: I don’t think ‘snark’ is in my Oxford English Dictionary.
Nika: Mouth. Is still running.
Rina: I have duct tape.
Arden: There’s a crack?
Nika: (last nerve!) Uhhnnnnn!

Arden: Do you think we can ask the Rockets to replace our truck?
Joshua: I’d guess … (thinks) … No.
Rina: You’re not from this Universe, are you?

Arden: I told him I just wanted to have her for one hour.
Nika: Arden, somehow I have the feeling that’s not exactly what happened.

Rina: They’re lying in wait for us, Captain.
Nika: Let’s go play a little chicken.
Rina: Do you need me to hang out the hatch with a rifle?

Rina: I can’t even believe I’m advocating the non-violent approach.
Joshua: (to Rina) I know.

Kiera: Um. Okay. Do I know what would fix face? Aside handing over Joshua or Arden. Cuz truly, handing over Arden—
Joshua: That would be awesome. We give him some money and I challenge the gang leader to hand-to-hand combat, like, to the death. The winner—
Kiera: Is he still talking? Tell him to shut up.

Arden: I can wait 84 hours.
Nika: But our passengers may not be able to.
Arden: Then I say we run the blockade.

Nika: Assuming we can get off the ground. Or you can get off the ground, however.
Kiera: I … hope to, Captain. (faintly over the comm) I’ve never flown this one.
Nika: I’m aware of that.

Part 3:

HOW TO SPEAK CHINESE

Part 1:
pìgu =屁股 = pee-goo = butt Sound clip

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