Forgotten Freedom:Camp Rules
Camp rules[edit]
1) Don't feed the squirrels
2) this includes letting them catch you
3) We are not liable for damage inflicted by the chili
4) unless you have proof someone sicced it on you
5) Read the complete list it can save your life.
6) Yes, the stories about crazy people are real.
7) They are your camp councelors.
8) Yes, the stories about monster are true.
9) They are the councelors' assistants.
10) The bartenders at Erk's Place card very hard.
11) They have to: sometimes they have to overcome spell resistance and damage reduction.
12) Please be advised that if you get lost you are on your own. We may be crazy, but we're not dumb.
13) If you are going to be angsty you are not allowed anywhere near the fluffy bunny.
14) Your parents paid way too much not to bring you back in one piece [SIZE=1]at least long enough for us to get away[/SIZE].
15) Change of Rules: Your parents paid us way too much to not bring you back.
16) The List of rules for the Councilers (crew) also apply to you. (unless you pay the captain a bribe)
17) Councilers cannot bribe the captain to be excluded from the rules
18) Do not feed the vampires
19) ... especialy since children give them stomach ache
20) Provoking your counciler will be counted as suicide. therefore your parents will NOT get the life insurance
21) turning the children into your own personal cult is also forbidden ... it took us weeks to get the stains off the walls last time
22) alchol can and will be accepted as a bribe
23) Ketler is NOT allowed to try and use the children as a lure for ANY of his incidious plans.
24) Do not hug the camp carpenter.
25) Unless you enjoy suffering.
26) Do not make fun of the captain's inability to count.
27) While he can hear you.
28) Poor performance can lead to your placement in the menu.
29) Assuming you don't earn a darwin award all on your own.
30) We have a quota, please if you must screw up, make spectacular.
31) That and we're too cheap to buy fireworks.
32) You may however purchase or build your own using the labs and/or squishy's booth.
33) You are outranked by everyone but the redshirts and other minions.
34) So feel free to take your lousy luck out on them.
35) If you are named, you won't die.
36) If you aren't, you're pretty much doomed.
37) Just 'cause you have a name doesn't mean we won't subject you to hideous amounts of torture.
38) Be forewarned; some of the crew WILL attempt to eat your soul.
39) 'Cause it's been so long since they've had one that wasn't tainted by insanity.
40) If you aren't crazy yet, you will be.
41) If one of the ubers likes you, run.
42) If one of the ubers doesn't like you, run like hell.
43) Yes, the chili is mandatory.
44) If you don't want to eat it, find your own.
45) If it looks like food, it probably isn't.
46) If it doesn't look like food... well take your chances.
47) Don't feed the redshirts.
48) Yes, the Redshirts count as food.
49) Why do you think they have the big target on their appropriately colored shirts?
50) You still have to kill them yourself.
51) You're lucky we're having that "kids eat free if they kill it themselves" deal as part of our affiliation with Dragonmeat Den.
52) It is not cheating for us to temporarily age you in order to make you ineligible for this deal.
53) Just because you have to kill the chili to eat it doesn't mean you get to eat free.
54) Besides, it's not our fault you made it mad after you paid for it...
55) The fact that we knew it would attack you before we gave it to you is beside the point.
56) If more than one uber decides to dislike you, update your will to include the Captain.
57) In fact you might want to do that anyway.
58) Those of you without names may puchase one from squishy.
59) Or by getting one of the crew to name you.
37503758907402374029) What did we say about the captain and counting?
61) You may on occasion be called upon to pilliage and plunder.
62) No we don't care if it's your own house, you still have to do it.
63) Any passes made at any crew members will result in disembowelment.
64) In this instance, they unamed campers are lucky; they'll just die.
65) Named campers will live... in agony.
66) Reverse is also true, anyone making passes at the campers (everyone glare at ketler),... well lets just say those knives aren't just for eating and fletchery.
67) Hitting on Jeala Jarlot will result in horrible agonizing field trips to Barney world.
68) For the whole camp.
69) We will then reveal the culprit.
70) And cheer as the moron gets choked with purple dinosaur intestines.
