Jing Li: Magnificent view

"Wait!" Li-Li said to her, as they made yet another switch back on the road up. He smiled at Kui Ji-min. Exhausted, she smiled back as best she could.

The day had turned bright and they were almost at Han Gu. Early dew had set the grass down low to sparkling bright green. The few clouds lounged with the riders before moving on. One could see for dozens of li and spring was obviously in charge of the decorations.

Kui Ji-min felt a mess. He hadn't said anything about her tear torn red eyes this morning and at first things were going well. She had a special surprise for Li-Li for this evening, and her mind had been enthralled by it. Then the realities set in. She had not reined in the palfry early enough and it had bounced for a while. Her butt hurt. The lowlands had been damp and her hair was starting to squirm its way out of the braid she had been too tired to really do before they set out this morning. She had kept Li-Li's gift close at hand but hadn't really had time, with brother in the room, to try it out and get a proper opinion. Did it really match her eyes or was it that green found on molded vegetables? She hadn't dared look in the actual sun light, he was up and running before Heaven told anyone to wake up!

She liked watching him move. When it was a reasonable hour, anyway. When times had been good for them this past winter she would watch him dress. His clothing had been simple, until Niu Pa's woman arrived. Zinya. Wow...she was beautiful. Where did she learn how to have men pay their utmost attention? And her dainty but skilled riding? She even had a style name like all the men! Kui Ji-min had never caught Li-Li looking too long at Zinya, but he probably did. Everyone did. Tonight he would wear clothes she had recommended for him!

She and brother talked long into the morning hours. They had come close, perhaps closer than she wanted, to leaving. He was sensible but well, sometimes too sensible. She brushed back a loose lock of hair and hoped he didn't see it. Drat! He smiled at her just then. Would he want a woman who can't even keep her own appearance proper?

Brother was there, stable as always. She could feign a spell and he'd take care of her. She'd done that more than once with you-know-who. Eventually he'd gotten tired of it, and tired of her. Li-Li wouldn't get tired of her, would he? Could she keep busy enough to stay out of trouble? Would he put up with her making mistakes, like forgetting to put on under slippers this morning? How was she supposed to walk when the stirrups had chafed the outer edge of her feet raw? Are we ever going to get to this old guy?

She winced. Her best drawings for Hu hadn't really taken into account what the main cities looked like. Even from here she could see ideas to incorporate. Assuming Li-Li kept her on as architect. Would he want her work after seeing what a real architect could do? Was there any way for her to do better quickly so he'd be impressed?

Could she actually call him "my lord" and mean it? Well, and keep meaning it? Or at least, act like it most of the time? When he was distant, the hurt was familiar. Father had been the first, when she would skip poetry classes to practice math. He wanted a proper young woman, she wanted to be almost any place else in the world but in his house.

If he decided to keep her, would father approve? Would he feel honor bound to go through the litany of her life mistakes so any man would feel well informed enough to likely run away as quickly as possible? Was she far enough away to distance herself from that old life? What would he say if he ever met some of her bad choices?

Drat! He had urged his large horse to move towards her. Would he notice the lousy knot she had made in her sash? What drove him to wake up before the lamps were cold from the night before? She hadn't had time for any real preparations. Why couldn't he get drunk like the others and be too bloody eyed to see anything in the morning?

She looked away, and shuddered. Which would he notice first; the scratch on the back of her neck where the box lid had fallen, that her hair was completely coming undone, or how poorly she had tied up her saddle bags in her haste to prevent brother from crumpling her gift? Or should she turn around and let him see the remnants of puffy eyes from too little sleep? She was exhausted, concerned about what her and brother should do in the next few days, and debating with her little girl self about whether or not Li-Li actually loved her.

She turned to him but bowed respectfully. It might keep him from seeing the exhaustion lines on her face. Staring at his hands worked; she had felt those hands pull her close when she had bad dreams. The past few days she had spurned him. Were those hands still for her? She braced herself for his dismissal. Really, it made sense. She wouldn't even tell him her real name and he had been willing to take her to the capitol! He had been nice and she had treated him like...well...the way she had been treated.

Kui Ji-min sighed, and looked at him. She and brother would find their way back, she had saved a few coins here and there. Of course, brother had saved more even though he got less. A tear started but kept somewhat hidden. She was exhausted, yet it was probably for the best. She'd leave his gift for him. Maybe.

Her hand felt warm air as his war horse moved it's head by her. Her horse stood stock still as his move slightly sideways. He was close. Everything that could go wrong had and he was close enough to not miss anything.

"My lord?" Her voice started to waiver. She controlled it. Barely. Others had stopped to look at the beauty below. They were commenting on the valley scene before them.

He looked directly at her. "Magnificent view."

"Yes, my lord. It...I..." she stopped. Why wasn't he looking at the mountain pass? What was he... "I agree with the others. The view is nice."

Li-Li laughed as he turned his horse and returned to the road. For a moment his hand brushed her forearm, then he was gone.

Brother moved up to take his place. "I don't think he was looking at what everyone else was looking at." He gave a rare laugh and proceeded on.

"Wait! What?" Kui Ji-min took off after brother.