Navero 35
From rec.games.frp Fri Mar 30 11:29:51 1990 Path: uci-ics!jarthur!dparsons From: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XXXV Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Message-ID: <5627@jarthur.Claremont.EDU> Date: 30 Mar 90 07:47:17 GMT Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711 Lines: 502
We had discovered a secret passage...
- Navero, male human cleric, 4th level
- Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 4th level
- Kortul, male human fighter, 4th level
- Razuli, male human fighter, 4th level
- Kory, male elf bard, 3rd level
- Topash, male elf druid, 3rd level
- Meth, male ? thief, 3rd level
We marched down the secret passage, until it turned north, revealing a long stairway going down out of sight; the steps were not carved from stone like the rest of the keep, but were made of packed dirt. They were still in good enough shape to walk down, although as we went deeper they began getting damp and slippery. The steps went down about 100 feet or so, before leveling off into a narrow, damp, moldy-smelling passage going northwards. There was a small hole dug through the eastern wall; it looked like a hole for rats, or possibly ghouls.
Razuli: "OK, kids. The big tunnel is prob'ly an escape tunnel going up to the surface. Navero, is the evil still below us?"
Navero: "Sort of, but it's more that way." (Points southeast) "Do you think we should light a lantern or something? The sunsword is nice, it really looks like the sun, but shouldn't we have something else?"
Dania: "No open flames. Something might catch, or we might hit a gas pocket, or you might drop it."
Razuli: "Magic-user, if we hit gas, we're dead anyway. Light a torch or a lantern."
Dania: "But someone might see it, and then they'll know where we are!"
Kory: "Trust me, they already do. Light it!"
Kortul: (Looks down hole with sunsword.)
Navero: (Lights lantern) "Does anyone have any more oil?"
(Silence.)
Razuli: "Oh, christ. Oil is second only to rope! Shit."
Kory: "No, food comes next. By the by, did anyone bring holy water?"
Navero: "I did! I brought 4 flasks."
Dania: "Good. Keep it out."
Navero: "I also brought some garlic."
Topash: "Ah, so I wasn't smelling Meth at all..."
Meth: "Why would you think so? That's really not my sort of herb at all."
Navero: "And I have some wood stakes and a mallet, and climbing irons, and Undead-off, and some copies of the holy writings, and.."
Dania: "OK, OK, we get it. Nav, you're supposed to travel light."
Navero: "Well... 'The Lords smile upon they who prepare themselves.'"
Kortul: "Nothing there. Unless ambush."
Topash: "That's a very small hole to have you going in first. Why doesn't Razuli take the lead for once?"
Razuli: "ME?! Oh no, really I couldn't. I must insist."
Topash: "WE must insist a little more strenuously. Why don't you take a torch or lantern or something and go inside there. We'll follow you and make sure nothing bad happens."
Razuli: (Makes small incoherent noises. A lit torch is shoved into his hand and he is escorted to the entrance.)
Game Master: Undead-off...?
We set off into the tunnels. They varied from about two to four feet high, so everybody had to crawl. Razuli went in first, thrusting his torch ahead into every nook and cranny. Kortul had the most trouble manouvering, and so brought up the rear. He wasn't happy about that, but he accepted it with his usual silence.
The tunnel wound eastwards. The smell became stronger inside; mold and dampness, mixed with rat feces and other, less pleasent odors. Rats and Cave Crickets went scurrying away, and their small evil eyes stared out at us from the dark. There were many rat tunnels, all much too small for us. The passage continued for about 30 feet, and then widened out slightly. There were several tunnels leading out of the area to the north, and one to the south; it was also inhabited.
Razuli: "There's something up there, and it smells dead! Priest!"
Navero: (Squirms to front of party.) "Where is it?"
Ghouls: Gargle Snort Drool Hi There
Razuli: "Aw shit, not these guys again. Do yer thing, kid."
Navero: "By the power invested in me by the true Lords of the Correct and Unalterable Way, begone foul spawn of darkness, back to whence you came!" (Rolls a 2.)
Ghouls: Gargle Snort Drool <several obscene gestures>
Navero: "Why are they holding their fingers up like that?"
Razuli: "Shit. Magic-user!"
Topash: "Perhaps we should appeal to a different set of gods. There are so many, after all."
Dania: "Nav, throw your holy water! Meth, move it!"
Meth: "Jesus Christ, if you're going to be like that about it..."
Ghouls: Gargle Snort Drool Fresh Meat!
Topash: "I believe they are Ghouls. I shall fight them off, if you all will get out of my way..."
Razuli: "Well, I would, but they're trying to chew my leg off." (Bashes ghoul 1 with torch.)
Navero: "Ahh!" (Dumps holy water vial on ghoul 2.)
Dania: (Magic Missiles ghoul 2) "Razuli, get that sword moving!"
Razuli: "Now honey, this is neither the time nor the place for all that. You'll just have to wait, I have some guests to take care of."
Kory: "Aw, poor little deprived Dania. I guess you'll have to start a torrid affair..."
Topash: "Kory, behave. And Navero, get out of the way."
Ghouls: Gargle Snort Drool Claw Rip Tear (But unsuccesfully. One fumbles, and his teeth fall out onto the ground.)
Razuli: "Oh, gross." (Gets sword out, kills ghoul 1)
Navero: "Go away!" (Tries to splash ghoul 2 with more holy water, ends up splashing Topash.)
Topash: "Navero, get out of there before you get paralyzed."
Dania: (Magic Missile's ghoul 2. It dies.)
Topash: (Elbows past Navero, closes with scimitar.)
Razuli: "There ain't much room up here!"
Ghouls: Gargle Snort Drool You All Look Familiar (One claws Razuli, he saves. More come out of the northern tunnels.)
Meth: "I still can't believe no one brought any lamp oil for cocktails."
Kory: "No, all we got is brandy. Brandy!"
Dania: "Don't burn them! This whole place could..."
Kory: "Dania, haven't you noticed that it's just a touch damp in here? And it is rather difficult to burn dirt. Help me get the lid off."
Dania: "Oh, fuck. Just don't get any on me."
Razuli: "Fuck, but don't get any WHAT on you?"
Dania: "SHUT UP AND KEEP FIGHTING!"
Ghouls: Gargle Snort Drool Oh Fuck You Again (They depart.)
Topash: "They have left, but have not gone far. I believe they intend to return and attack us from behind when we have passed."
Meth: "Passed what, your druidship?"
Topash: "Never mind. Kory, take your cask of brandy and dump it there, by those tunnels they left by. Then, light it. We shall take the southern tunnel, as Navero says that is the correct way."
Kory: "Now wait just a moment here! Before we go dumping such fine brandy, we may want to... Yuk! This stuff is shit! Ok, dump it."
(It is done. FLOOM! Many evil red eyes reflect the glare.)
We went south, with all due speed. The tunnels formed an admirable maze, and Navero was hard pressed to keep up on his map, as we wanted to move quickly and get there before the brandy burned out. We kept going on to the south and east, until we slid down one steeply inclined passage, and ran into a brick wall.
Razuli: "<expletives deleted>"
Dania: "Search for secret doors."
Kory: "... Dere be nuttin' here. We don't want to go back, you know."
Navero: "It's just south of here. It must be on the other side."
Topash: "Is there any way around?"
Razuli: "No."
Kortul: "How thick is it?"
Dania: "Oh, come on. We're not gonna dig through it."
Kory: "It sounds pretty thick."
Dania: "Wait; is the mortar wet?"
Razuli: "Yeah. Think we can get enough out?"
Topash: "We can but try."
Navero: "I brought a shovel! And a hammer and chisel and some nails and a saw and..."
Razuli: "Great. Gimme the shovel."
(Dig dig dig. Kortul keeps watch behind, up the slope. Razuli and Kory eventually pry a brick out and look inside.)
Navero: "What's inside?"
Kory: "My god..."
Dania: "What?!
Razuli: "It's Jimmy Hoffa..."
Dania: "Oh, cut it out!"
Kory: "Never say that around people with swords."
Kortul: "Something coming. Get it open."
(Dig dig dig dig strain ouch. More bricks are worked out, revealing a large natural chamber. This cave is immense - larger than our lights can light. There are many rock formations, and dripping water is everywhere.)
Kortul: "Many ghouls. Is it open?"
Dania: "It's coming. Navero, get up there."
Navero: (Scrambles back up.) "By the light of all that is good, oh please, please be dispelled!" (Several ghouls flee.)
Topash: "Work faster."
Meth: "I got something that'll help you with that. Just take two of these and wait a couple minutes..."
Razuli: "Don't got a couple minutes." (Whew!)
Dania: "Get back to Kortul. I'll take a shift."
Razuli: "Right, right."
(Suddenly, rats start streaming out of the walls, screaming and squealing and biting everyone. Giant rats burst out of side tunnels and attack Kortul, Navero, and Razuli. The shadows lengthen, and something blows the lantern out.)
Topash: "I do believe the sun is setting. Anyone got any bright ideas?"
Razuli: "Fuckingshitjezuschristahhh!" (Swats and smashes at rats.)
Dania: "AAHH!!" (Squirms through the hole in the wall with surprising speed.)
Topash: "Ah, the hole is wide enough. Thank you for letting us know."
(Ghouls start coming down the tunnels again. Rats are everywhere. The ambient temperature drops 10 degrees. Things look grim.)
Kory: (Dives through the hole.)
Meth: (Dives through the hole.)
Topash: (Grabs lantern, dives through the hole.)
Razuli: (Dives through the hole.)
Navero: (Dispells one pack of ghouls, runs, dives through the hole.)
Kortul: (Dives for the hole, gets stuck.) "SHIT!"
Dania: "Grab him!!"
Kory: "Navero, where's the fucking bloodstone?!"
Meth: "Wow, are there PEOPLE coming in through the ceiling?"
Navero: "It's that way!" (Runs off to the south.)
Dania: "NAVERO, YOU IDIOT!!" (Runs after him.)
Topash: (Grabs Kortul.) "Push!"
Kory: "Another fine mess you've gotten me into."
Kortul: (Pushes. Wall strains, holds him fast.)
Dania: "Navero, slow down!"
Navero: "It's there!! It's there!! In that... thing."
There, at the southern end of the cavern, lay what could only be described as an immense and ugly golem, made entirely of some hard, greenish stone like jade. All except for one part... it's heart, which was a small black stone with pulsing red veins running through it. It reeked of evil. The golem was lying on the cavern floor, as if asleep; the bloodstone (for there was no doubt that this was it) set deep in it's chest. You could just reach in and take it; all you had to do was climb over the golem.
Kory: "Well!?!"
Dania: "Well what?!?"
Kory: "Is it down there?!"
Dania: "Yeah!!!... sort of!"
Razuli: "So what the fuck are you waiting for!? GET IT!!"
Kortul: (Pushes one last time, with Topash and Razuli pulling. The wall gives and he comes crashing into the room.)
Navero: "We're not supposed to touch it, are we?"
Dania: "No. Here, watch it and make sure it doesn't move." (Climbs onto it.)
Navero: "How do I do that?"
Dania: "Just tell me if it moves!" (Covers hand with cloth, grabs bloodstone. Tosses it in a sack, wrapped in the cloth.)
Navero: "It didn't move. Is that good?"
Dania: "Great! Now let's get out of here!"
(Meanwhile, back at the hole, the undead are coming on in earnest. Ghouls and Ghasts and rats are coming through the hole in great numbers, shadows are everywhere, and several more powerful undead are also showing up.)
Kory: (sings a Protection from Evil 10' song. Everyone crowds close.)
Topash: "Navero and Dania are unprotected."
Kortul: (Picks Kory up and starts jogging south with him.)
Razuli: "I sure hope he can keep this up all night."
Navero: "Go away! And you! And you!" (Many shadows flee. Nothing else is around them yet. The rest of the party joins them.)
Dania: "Shit! What do we do?"
Navero: "I'll cast Protection from Evil on all of us. Kory sounds tired."
Topash: "Don't you have the area effect spell? Never mind. It will do."
(....kkkKKKKRRRRRRRrrrrr....)
Razuli: "Whawazat!?"
(Golem-thing opens its eyes, slowly sits up.)
Kory: "Oh, christ. Nice knowing you all."
(Undead converge on party.)
Topash: "Well, the indians have arrived, General Custer sir. Shall we go mop 'em up?"
Razuli: "I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die..."
Meth: "Oh, shut up. Me, I'm gonna take my entire stock all at once and see if maybe I'll go ethereal..."
Dania: "Look, kill the golem and maybe the magic will protect us from the undead."
Topash: "I believe you are clutching at straws, young lady. But, we have few other options. Let us commence."
Twang! Throw!
Light! Hurl!
Spellcast! Twang!
Golem: (Small scratch is visible on right big toe. Looks at party, and the floor beneath them turns to mud.)
Party: (Ga-blubbb...)
Kory: "WAITAMINUTE!! WAITAMINUTE!! WHO'S GOT THE FUCKING RING!?!?!"
Topash: "What ring!?"
Kory: "THE FUCKING TELEPORTATION RING!! RUB IT!!"
Topash: "Oh, I have it!" (rub)
(*** POOF! *** The party suddenly finds themselves sitting in the middle of Duke Desmod's observatory. The Duke was there, and two of his guardsmen.)
Desmod: "What in the nine hells... Oh, it's you!"
Dania: "Yeah."
Desmod: "You're all covered in mud!"
Razuli: "Yeah."
Desmod: "You're all over my new carpet..."
Kortul: (sigh.)
Kory: "Never mind all that! The news we bring you, o gracious duke, is worth an eternity of dry cleaning bills! I, the Incredibly Famous Kory Silvertongue, present to you... The Bloodstone! Brought to you after many truly amazing adventures and heroic efforts by yours truly (and my faithful companions) this despicably evil item..."
Desmod: "You got it! Where is it?"
Dania: "Here. Yuck. Do you have a shower?"
Desmod: "Ha ha (Grabs sack away from Dania) ha ha Ha Ha (Grabs bloodstone from sack and gloats over it) HA HA HA HAAA...."
Navero: "I thought you weren't supposed to touch it."
Dania: "Yea, it would turn you into a vamp..."
Desmod: "HA HAAA HAA HA HAAA... YOU TINY FOOLS..."
Razuli: "Aw, no, we just quit this scene..."
Meth: "I thought you said you knew this person?"
Desmod: "Now, to get rid of these pitiful illusions..."
(The guards are not guards. They are Spectres. The castle suddenly becomes much gloomier, darker than the surrounding land, not lighter. It is filled with undead. Cold laughter echoes throughout the land.)
Dania: "aw, shit."
Desmod: "MANY THANKS. NOW I MAY RULE THE WORLD. GUARDS, YOU MAY HAVE THEM. I SHALL SOON BE VERY BUSY ELSEWHERE."
Razuli: (I never thought I'd do this...) "Hey! THE THREE! Where the fuck are you?!"
Desmod: (Hesitates.)
Party: "THE THREE MORONS!!" "THE THREE IDIOTS!!" "THE THREE..."
(* POOF! *) (Both Spectres crumble into vellities at the poof.)
Desmod: "NOOO!!! Do you realize what you've DONE!?!"
Paladin 2: (clutching turkey leg) "Yes, what is it?"
Party: "LOOK!! EVIL!!"
Paladins: "WHERE?!"
Party: "THERE!!"
Paladins: "FOR GLORY!" "AND RENOWN!!" "AND XP!!!"
Paladin 3: "A 23rd level vampire Illusionist? I hate these wimp dungeons."
Seeing as how these gentlemen wished to get better acquainted, we felt compelled to leave. Outside, things were somewhat disorganized, so I think the Duke's staff may be excused for being so impolite as to forget to greet us as we came downstairs. Now, as much as we had enjoyed their company (although we could now see that the duke truly did have a skeletal guard) we felt that we had overstayed our welcome, and should leave posthaste. We knew that our most gracious host wouldn't mind if we were to borrow some more horses, although he really should have taken better care of his animals. The lucky ones were just skin and bone, quite literally. With our path lit by all the explosions, we rode forth from the gates, through all the excited throngs which clamoured about the walls, and boldly rode into the sunset, on the road to new adventures.
Party: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dan Parsons
"Shit, what a life. Here I am, exhausted, covered in mud, riding a dead horse through an army of wraiths and ghouls and shit, and I didn't even get anything out of it. How could things get any worse?"
"Easy. We still haven't found the Orb of Spheres yet."
"I'm gonna retire and become a chartered accountant."
