Sinners and Saviors
Zadie watched as Cord smiled feral and tight and caused a nurse to almost skitter into a wall to avoid him. The poor woman paled and staggered forward, glancing back with alarm as she hurried on her way. Rolling her eyes, Zadie snorted and said, “Charming!” as she went into the waiting area and claimed a seat.
“If you think I got charm, then you're dumber than you look, girl.”
The young vampire raised her eyebrows, unfazed. Zadie was beginning to get used to the Gangrel even though there were times he stood too close to her and she had the same reaction inside her gut as the poor nurse that had just about been undone in the hallway. “I thought you had brains, but hell, I was wrong about that too. I guess I am as damn dumb as you thought. Hmmpf!”
“Yep, that's about right. I ain't never claimed to have brains, just sense.
“You ain't got that either. Or you'd of not taken on more than you could chew and stay upright.”
Cord settled down into one of the vinyl seats across from Zadie, sprawling loosely in the chair. “I don't like being responsible. But when I am, I don't shirk it, even if it means my end.” He smiled with just half of his mouth and waited for her response.
“Look Cord, I don't like you,” Zadie said after a long moment of quiet. “You don't like me. But we care about the same person, so somehow we gotta get along. You removed the Professor from my life and I'm grateful. I kept you from being taken for gargoyle parts. So I suppose we're even. But I don't ever foresee liking you, much less getting better than tolerating you.” Her eyes glittered as she fixed her gaze on his. “You bite Caroline again and I will have a new gargoyle.”
“Then you best be telling her not to offer herself up again.” He eyed the young Tremere with amusement. “Seems like Caroline's got herself a 2nd pet. Elisa might not know what she's got in hand...”
Her brow furrowed as she crossed her arms. “I prefer ‘magical advisor.’"
“She saved your life too, or you just in the habit of attaching your leash to anyone who looks like they might be nice?”
“I was doing fine,” came her answer, sharp and irritated. “I didn’t need saving from you. I coulda got more blood and let you drink your fill without Caroline being involved. I ain't afraid of you.” She sniffed. “I had a doorknob. If you'da just opened your damn mouth wider, I coulda got it in ya.” After a moment, she added with a toss of her hair, “Next time I break your teeth and just shove it in.”
“You're welcome to, if you don't mind losing a hand. Don't bother me.”
“I'll just replace it with one of yours.” Zadie stared at him and that annoying disquiet that Cord put off just shivered over her. “Fucking A, you just bring out the worst in me! I'm not gonna fight you. None of this is helping Caroline.” She leapt to her feet to get out of the way of his unnerving stare. Her nose wrinkled as she went to inspect the drink machines. Not a one dispensed blood. Totally useless.
“Best thing that can help her is for her to accept what she's going to be. And you ain't exactly a shining example on how to do that.”
She glanced back at him. “Oh, so now you're gonna lecture me on how to be undead?” she asked sarcastically. “Really?!”
“Seems to me that you ain't exactly trying real hard to be undead. You're getting dragged kicking and screaming into it, hands grasping doorknobs the entire time.”
Her eyes narrowed. “It sure as hell wasn't my first career choice. And I'm a good Baptist. God’s just holding my soul until I can win it back. I ain't gonna be no animal like you.” She stared at the display before her and breathed savagely to the glass, “I ain't never gonna be you.”
He got to his feet to join her, leaning close to her so that his words fell cold and hard on her ear. “How many old vampires you know that are shining examples of humanity? Beast takes us all, girl. Better to be prepared.”
She repressed a shudder and sidled to the next machine. “I don't know that many. And maybe they never were good people.”
“Whatever helps you keep movin',” Cord noted, easily moving with her.
Zadie stared, skittering away from his presence as if he were the opposing end of a magnet, When her back hit the wall, she stopped, her face stern and fixed with a deep frown. "I don't think you're right. I think you just gave up. And that's sad.”
“I like who I am. Maybe there is a Hell, maybe there ain't. And if there is, I'm heading there. But that was decided the minute my sire made me. So hell if I'm going to waste what I got yearning for what was.”
“And that's where we're different, Mr Cord. I ain't given up dreaming yet. And I’m never gonna.” Zadie’s fingers clenched and unclenched unconsciously, aware that he was ramping her temper to hopeless anger. She couldn’t hurt him; he’d tear her to bits. But he was working her every last nerve, trying to take her hope and faith. But she wouldn’t let him win. She couldn’t.
“Maybe you'll be the one vamp in thousands of years to beat the odds.” Cord looked her up and down, cocky and slow, appraising her head to toe. “Oh sure, you're special enough. Snowflake of a vampire.”
“I fail. So did Jesus 'cus he was a man as well as divine. But he kept on trying to be the savior that he was, overcome his base humanity. And look what he did. I can only try, try to fight the Beast inside and try to be the best human that I was born to be. And I think God knows that.”
“You going to be our savior, Zadie? Our personal Jesus Vampire Christ?”
The sarcasm was thick with wry humor and she bit her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. “You don't get it!” she snarled. “I don't think you was ever human. You was born to be an animal and I'm glad you found your destiny. Your mama didn't birth you; she whelped you and probably just barely took care of you before she dumped you out in the backwoods. Cus' she knew you was an animal and weren't gonna do no better.”
“And that's the difference between me and you. You think you gave me an insult and I think you're heaping on the praise. I'd rather have an animal than a human. They got more sense. And they're purer.” He managed a serene smile. “Wouldn't it be funny if I became an animal and made it to heaven and you tripped on your way to some sainthood that ain't possible and ended up in Hell?”
Her eyes flared, icy blue like the purest chemical flame, and she shook with the effort of not attacking him. Drawing a breath, she let it go slowly, used to counting down from talking to the Professor and her own Mama. A scarlet tear freed itself and she let it fall as she stared cold death at him. “Probably exactly what'll happen, Mr Cord. And when you get to Heaven, pray for me down there if you can find it within you.” She knew she had to go. Hell, they’d find her if Caroline died. She couldn’t take this man a second longer. Infuriated, she started for the door.
He shrugged, watching as she fled. "If that happens, make sure to give the Devil the middle finger for me." Girl needed to toughen up some or the night was going to eat her alive and spit her back out.
Now was a good time to practice, Zadie thought with a fierce smile and flashed him the bird as she went through the door to freedom.
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