Editing Crack from the OoC

"This game is [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8432346&postcount=990 Sin City], [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8432759&postcount=991 as done by the cast of Final Fantasy Advent Children], [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8432828&postcount=992 while on <s>heroin</s> PCP], and [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8436909&postcount=994 written by Jim Butcher channelling Hunter S. Thompson, Robert E. Howard, and William Gibson."] 

''Looks like the Maiden of Weaving finally got drunk enough to compile the commentary of the pattern spiders in [[AlphaOmega|Alpha & Omega]]...''<br>
This is a running list of as much of the silliness from the game's OoC.
==Forum Silliness==
As a note, these are filed by who started it.
===Aincumis===
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8461807&postcount=1032 Movie Crew Ellipse]
===Avilister===
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9679547&postcount=2313 Robert's reaction to Cassidy wanting to be Little Red Riding Hood]
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8430257&postcount=985 "Supernaturally influential mob boss meets shapeshifting canine poker player] - [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheyFightCrime ''they fight crime!'']"
*[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8431699&postcount=987 Mpascal's pitch for Las Vegas by Night]
**Astra: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8431796&postcount=988 "Don't forget the virgin femme fatale!"]
***Dakkareth: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8432175&postcount=989 "Already brought down a different mob boss through her fatal influence! ;)"]
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9568031&postcount=2129 "Rob isn't able to come to the phone right now. Its currently melded into his flesh/in another dimension. Please try again later."]
===AstraKiseki===
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9678451&postcount=2310 How to get more willpower, from Captain Obvious]
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9644611&postcount=2240 The Cheese Stands Alone]
Astra: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9653579&postcount=2268 "DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS!"]
*Meriss: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9653616&postcount=2269 "ESPICALLY NOT WITH ME IN THE LINE OF HEAD CHOPPING!"]
**Mpascal: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9655341&postcount=2273 "And you wonder why I was holding off on any sort of Charm use. 7SE, away!!!"]
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9289727&postcount=1849  A humble suggestion on handling totemic Todd]
===Dakkareth===
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9514544&postcount=2055 Dakk's description of John Palmer's method]
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9460057&postcount=1989 "Oh. Well, now we have assurance in triplicate."]
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9431822&postcount=1958 "It's not an Exalted battle unless..."]
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8460594&postcount=1030 "*BEEP* "Oh, just in case you are done early - surprise, there's a zombie plague outside! But don't worry, we can deal with it. Probably. Success is relative after all ..."]
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9667490&postcount=2294 "The only question is how much pain and suffering will be spread around in the process."]
*Meriss: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9667704&postcount=2295 *twitch, quiver* Is this enough pain for you my lords? *wheeze*]
**Astra: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9667726&postcount=2296 *compassion roll* Sure, why not?]
***Dakkareth: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9667942&postcount=2297 < First Age Solar>Your agony is so beautiful ... Keep doing that, would you kindly?< /First Age Solar> ]
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9428661&postcount=1954 Look for a building with its top floor blasted off, you'll find us at the bottom of a stairwell now open to the sky.]
*Meriss: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9429436&postcount=1955  ":eek:"]
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9377099&postcount=1918 "Heheheh, that's right, another point of resonance for you."]
*Astra: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9377551&postcount=1919 "Don't you just love doing that?"]
**Dakkareth: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9379681&postcount=1920 "I can't help but think that it will come to bite us in the ass later, but yes, I do."]
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9813204&postcount=2490 The question is, will one action be enough to horribly murder one more werewolf?]
*Avilister: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9813539&postcount=2491 But... but.... they're so far away...]
**Aincumis: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9814134&postcount=2493 You're a Full Moon. I don't wanna hear that shit from you.]

===Khayin===
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8460558&postcount=1029 "I'm sorry, Gabriel Cordova is not available to take your call right now. He is currently incarcerated in a maximum-security Technocracy holding facility, while the Brujah Antediluvian is pulling a 'The Ring' on him. Please leave a message and he will call you back, assuming he doesn't get Embraced, brain-washed, turned into an Abyssal, or just outright killed. Beep!"]
===Li of Orchid===
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8393696&postcount=874  Darius's reaction to being threatened with 'reversing the Essence polarity.']
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8484661&postcount=1044  Excuse for pulling out the sword.  Sure.]
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8460558&postcount=1029 "I'm sorry, Darius Prescott is not available to take your call right now. He is currently occupied walking the road to hell. Please leave a message and he'll get back to you, if he isn't swallowed by the Demon Emperor and trapped in an eternity of agony and pain. Beep!"]
===Meriss===
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9596312&postcount=2167 "My killing machine of a future wife."]
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9343328&postcount=1896  "Hey, look what I found for a song, the Dark Chest of Wonders."]
*Astra: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9343825&postcount=1897 "Bad pun for the Lover's breasts?"]
===Mpascal02===
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8513266&postcount=1061 Reaction to Sui Mae's getting the media's attention]
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=8559549&postcount=1114 "And lo, if you do (worship Sol Invictus), He will grant you something like a heroin-pissing dinosaur. Seriously, do you have any idea what kind of an impact this has on profits? It's astonishing....right, sermon now, discussion of how the heroin-peeing dinosaur makes us millions later."]
<br>[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9481367&postcount=2003 "the only thing John might have done/do before Brown's departure is sanctify his "I'm going to go suicide in Oblivion all alone" statement. Just to be safe."]
*Li: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9481488&postcount=2004  "Wow. That's cold. Ice-cold. Cold like the depths of interstellar space, cold."]
**Mpascal: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9481617&postcount=2005 "I try. ~_^"]
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=12852223&postcount=556 "Obviously, (Ain) is a cruel God who tests us. Only a sacrifice will appease him now!  Quickly, let us offer up the fatted Dragon-Blooded upon our altar, that our ST might return, with posts!"]
*Meriss: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=12855674&postcount=557 "I seem to recall that the golden blood of a Solar contains far more tasty, tasty essence."]
**Mpascal: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=12856159&postcount=558 "Yes, but we have to think of the future here -- Terrestrials pass down their Exaltation through bloodlines. They're a self-sustaining resource, people! Let's go green with the sacrifices, here!"]
[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=13563786&postcount=921 "Well, shit.  Evidently the Bitch Queen is a Castlevania fan."]
*Astra: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=13564322&postcount=929 "You say it like it's a bad thing. Can't you just see Cassidy and Liz shouting 'Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!'"]
**Mpascal: [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=13564521&postcount=930 "More worrying is the fact that I can just as easily see John going 'What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!' *flings wine glass* 'But enough talk! Have at you!' ... Of course, instead of teleporting and launching fireballs, he....uses Leaping Dodge Method and Essence Bullet Attack....you know, perhaps I should just stop this comparison now."]

==Chat Crack==
===Khayin finding out that Hate is Samuel Haight===
(9:51:26 PM) Khayin: I was hoping I'd never have to see him again.  Ten years later, he is back to haunt me!  I can hear his battle cry now...<br>
(9:51:35 PM) Khayin: "THE NINETIES HAVE RETURNED!!!"<br>

===AstraKiseki and Dakkareth talking about theme parks===
AstraKiseki: I can see Cassidy wanting to get something princess-y.

AstraKiseki: ... And then proceed to use it as a weapon.

Dakkareth: As long as she doesn't make Rob play the Beast :p

AstraKiseki: Of course she wouldn't.

AstraKiseki: That would be silly.

Dakkareth: I'm amused by the idea that it would be *possible*

AstraKiseki: Cassidy would go for... Snow White, actually. XD

Dakkareth: Don't let Troile poison you!

Dakkareth: Or the Lover for that matter.

AstraKiseki: She is Snow White with Resistance Charms.

Dakkareth: This is Exalted. Snow White has resistance charms and Red Riding Hood has Summoning the Loyal Steel and a Grand Daiklave.

AstraKiseki: Yeah, pretty much.

===About an alternate universe where the PCs Exalted as Lunars===
Dakkareth: Gabriel - No Moon ... what totem, though?

AstraKiseki: Gabe would have been a bear, according to Khayin.

Dakkareth: That would have been my next guess. Interesting AU.

Dakkareth: Mmmh, how about a Exalt-Type switch for all the A&O cast?

AstraKiseki: I have fun with AUs.

AstraKiseki: I had been working on one involving it.

Dakkareth: We have Gabe as Bear No Moon, Rob most likely as Dawn ...

Dakkareth: Maybe coyote for Liz, what with the trickery and mocking.

AstraKiseki: Heh.

AstraKiseki: Yeah, I can see her as a coyote.

AstraKiseki: Cassidy as a Cat Waxing would be more bookish.

AstraKiseki: She'd be very charismatic, an activist, but...

Dakkareth: Maybe a little pissed at getting the 'ugly' animal ... and also because it fits :p

Dakkareth: Darius as Full Moon, probably also Wolf.

Dakkareth: That means Palmer gets Snake.

Dakkareth: heheheh, that fits as well

AstraKiseki: Yep.

Dakkareth: Liz as Coyote would probably be a little less physical and more sneaky.

AstraKiseki: Heh.  Casey Marlin, 21-year-old activist with cat-eyes.

Dakkareth: it poses the question, since the Tell is disguised by mental influence, would it show up on photographs?

AstraKiseki: I think it would, but it would be hard to realize it.

Dakkareth: Elizabeth, Coyote totem Waning Moon. Not sure yet what else would change

AstraKiseki: ... Not much. :P

AstraKiseki: Cassidy would probably favor intelligence.

Dakkareth: DBs are more difficult. I was thinking about Johnny and Sui Mae ... maybe make them Sids in the AU? Sui Mae as Chosen of Battles, Johnny ... Journeys or Secrets probably.

AstraKiseki: Johnny is a Journeys. :P

===Dangerously Hot===
Dakkareth: Or maybe should I ask, is there the opportunity for a hilarious scene where everybody tries not to say anything about the food as to not offend her in there? :p

AstraKiseki: No, it'll go like this:

AstraKiseki: "Can I have some?"  "I made it."  "So?"  "... How do you think I am so damn resistant to /poison?/"

===Meriss and Astra after working on the cards===
Meriss: you did all the work

Astra: No, you did help.

Astra: After all, you took notes and helped me decide.  :)

Meriss: well you did MORE work

Astra: (Shut up and take the XP, bitch)

===Yes, it does sound wrong out of context===
Mpascal: But the previous posts got stunts for her being at the top of Jian's tornado (which sounds horrifically wrong out of context.... ~_^)<br>
(...)<br>
Mpascal:  There's far worse ways I could've put that.  "Sui Mae is riding the air dragon's tornado out of sight."  Yeah, and we wonder why people claim that sexual deviancy is a path to Real Ultimate Power in Exalted.<br>
Astrakiseki: YOU are SO fucking LUCKY I wasn't drinking anything.
===I hope you are taking notes, Ain===
Astra: ... I had a scary mental.<br>
Astra: Cassidy doing a duet with Troile.<br>
Meriss: :-O What is wrong with yer mind girl!<br>
Meriss: THe Brujah club rave with troile in a birdhat was bad enough<br>
Astra: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6G7OEvpEuIs <br>
Astra: Exactly.<br>
Astra: Them singing that.<br>
Astra: Well, Cassidy as backup.<br>
Meriss: This. This is way worse. I may not sleep tonight<br>
Astra: Here's something worse:<br>
Astra: Arikel, head of the Toreador clan, with Cassidy in her hands.<br>
Meriss: :-O<br>
Meriss: Wrong, wrong, wrong<br>
Astra: Indeed.<br>
Meriss: and now I won't e able to sleep<br>
Astra: And SHE has Auspex.<br>
Meriss: NOT HELPING!<br>
Astra: ^_~<br>

===Something Bloody===
''In an IRC chat, where people don't know the context.''<br>
[10:14]	<Astra>	Hm. What do you guys think would happen if a Kuei-jin drank Solar blood?<br>
[10:14]	<JaitoWerkz>	Astra: Critical crossover mass. Game explodes.<br>
[10:15]	<Astra>	Already happened.<br>
===On Gabriel and um-===
Astra: Also, I don't know why, but the arm pit hair?
<br>Astra: Made me lol.
<br>Khayin: I also didn't realize that you can't embed images into posts, so I had to go to my personal site and shove the image into there.
<br>Khayin: Dude, he ''has'' to have armpit hair!
<br>Astra: I know.
<br>Astra: But it stil.  made.  me.  laugh.
<br>Khayin: It's not as easy to see because of the shitty scan, but he also has a bunch of hair on his forearms, his chest, and he's got a rockin' happy trail goin' on.
<br>Khayin: He's a hairy Latin mofo! :-D
<br>Astra: BRAIN BLEACH.  XD

===Gabe's a Boy Scout===
(7:00:44 PM) Astra: ... My got, this is sappy and adorable
<br>...
<br>(7:02:57 PM) Astra: But pretty much, Cassidy is pretty much being nice to Nick... and it's something that he hasn't had for a long time, it seems.  And having someone sitting next to him and just singing Lean On Me to him apparently... well, he burst into tears.
<br>(7:03:46 PM) Khayin: Heh.  Well, as long as he stays nice and normal.
<br>(7:03:56 PM) Astra: Yeah.
<br>(7:04:09 PM) Astra: But pretty much, Cassidy is being a friend.
<br>(7:04:11 PM) Khayin: The second he goes into god mode, I'm buying Dragon Coil Technique.

===PAGING DR. FREUD===
(This discussion was in an Exalted irc channel that has a lot of 4channers on it.  Surprisingly, it's clean.  Mostly.
<br><Astra>    God damn Cassidy.
<br>LawnPygmy    headtilts.
<br><Astra>    It's the modern Zenith PC.
<br><Astra>    The original concept was a wholesome singer who looked the part of a femme fatale and used it as a persona on stage.
<br><ResplendentDestiny>    Girl-next-door porn. Go on.
<br><Mitchell_Henderson>    delicious
<br><Astra>    And after about a year and a half of playing her, it slowly dawned on me that she pretty much is squeaky clean... but has a weird sense of modesty at this point.
<br><Astra>    Aka, she'll walk out of a shower with just a towel on to ask for a coat or something so she doesn't end up violating said sense of modesty by being naked while fighting (as that she uses Dreaming Pearl in combat).
<br><Astra>    And she seems to /enjoy/ doing fanservice, as long as it's just looking, no touching. It's weird when I had intended not to think about this stuff AT ALL for this character.
<br><Mitchell_Henderson>    i think you subconsciously want to be objectified
<br><Mitchell_Henderson>    you need a girlfriend/boyfriend/a dog or something
<br><Mitchell_Henderson>    maybe a turtle
<br><Astra>    Yeah, I do need to get laid. :P I'll freely admit that.
<br><Jeanstealer>    THE MICROPHONE, EET IS LIKE A PENIS, JA?
<br><Jeanstealer>    SHE IS DA SINGER, WHO SINGS INTO THE PHALLIC OBJECT, BUT NEVER TOUCHES IT YES
<br><Mitchell_Henderson>    obvious penis envy
<br><Jeanstealer>    QUITE
<br><Astra>    ... Oh my god, stop making me die laughing. xD
<br><Astra>    Crowning moment of lulz was talking to a friend and then going "... Oh dear god, Cassidy's a closet domaintrix."
<br><Jeanstealer>    you like to imagine this, ja?
<br><Astra>    Nein. I just find it fucking funny. xD
<br><Jeanstealer>    ze microphone (which is a penis) vich she singz into vhile she dominates the crowd yes
=== Blood sucker ===
Astra: ... Damn brain.
<br>Astra: The mental of Gabe freezing a vampire and having bloodiscles.
<br>Khayin: Heh heh heh
<br>Astra: It's stupid and on crack.  x3
<br>Khayin: Gabriel Cordova -- intellectual, inventive genius, medical miracle-worker, and selfless defender of humanity.
<br>Khayin: Also addicted to corpse blood
<br>Astra: Everyone has their flaws.

==Chat/Forum Combined Gonzo==
===Pretty Pretty Princess Squad Go!!===
It began on the forums with [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9891387&postcount=2585 this:]
<br>''Astra:  Oh yeah, as a note, our poor Twilight has a heavy workload at the time being. He won't say what it is, so I have taken to calling it 'My Pretty Pretty Princess the RPG.' 
<br>''So yeah, if he isn't posting, blame work. And the glitter.''


Which led to questions and [http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=9894091&postcount=2590 this:]
<br>''Dakk:Now I'm really wondering how a 'My pretty pretty princess' RPG would work. There could be a few interesting deconstructions in it if you do it right ...  
<br>''Mpascal:  All I know is that there would have to be glitter ponies involved in some capacity.'' 


And the next morning, a far too long and involved discussion on the matter between Astra and Mpascal, which included this:

''astrakiseki: Would the whole cast be playing, or would it just be Cassidy, Sui Mae, Liz, and probably one or two of the guys?
<br>''Mpascal: The girls.  Rob & Johnny would be playing NPCs (*makes whip cracking noise *), Gabe would be writing the rules, Darius would be wondering how Power Combat would work (and Mal would give him a Sailor Moon boxset for ideas), and John would be using Bureaucracy excellencies to register trademarks and have it in every Toys R Us and Wal-Mart by Christmas.
<br>''astrakiseki: XD
<br>''Mpascal: And making arrangements for the Saturday morning cartoon spinoff.
<br>''astrakiseki: Heheheh.  I can see Mal smirking while Cassidy is looking for a CD for theme music, Liz is standing on the table holding up her 'princess' and her pony, trying to show a stunt, and Sui Mae is going 'O.o'
<br>''Mpascal: Featuring very bad cariactures of the girls as the Pretty Pretty Princess Justice Squad!''

Which leads us to the only logical(?) conclusion:

[[AlphaOmega/PrettyPrettyPrincessSquadGo|Pretty Pretty Princess Squad GO!!]]

May the Unconquered Sun have mercy on us all.