Episode 301: Hard Places, Part 3
Joshua turns to Nika as we all leave the bridge.
Joshua: We don’t have to do this. No one is putting a gun to your head at this exact moment.
Rina: All right.
Joshua: We’ll probably want to talk to the Shepherd friend—client—tomorrow before we go over there tomorrow.
Nika: I don’t think I could face a Shepherd after doing that.
Joshua: That’s part of it. It’s possible we might be able to work something out.
If the Shepherd can pay for the three hundred credits we need for food and fuel by paying for his passage up front, we might be able to swing the cost of the part and not need to do the scans at all.
Rick: Let’s send him a message now and tell him we can meet with him tomorrow morning.
Joshua: Because if we get the part, that’s five hundred we don’t have to spend that we need for food and fuel. And that we might be able to work out with the Shepherd, rather than you feeling you have to go strip for the fifty credits. I don’t want to see you do something you don’t want to have to do.
Rick: And that for fifty credits.
Joshua: Yeah, don’t mention the fifty credits. He seemed the serious type.
Nika: (to Rick) Go and tell your Shepherd to let him know we can come by and meet him if that’s okay. Since our ship is still not quite hooked up for having him to ours.
Joshua: That’s probably the best thing to do.
Rick calls with the message that we’re available to see the Shepherd today if it would be all right. Our ship is still not hooked up to make it effective.
Faria: Yes, perhaps you could just come one at a time and I’ll send them back.
Rick: Okay.
Rick turns around and gives the rest of us a silent thumbs up before turning back to the comm. Rina leans over and murmurs to Nika.
Rina: I could go last. At this point, I could get in a suit and go outside and fix those couplings for the sewer and the power.
Nika: (to Rina) Okay. And if that lady’s got the time you could go over and get that part today, too.
Rick asks Faria who’d he’d like to see and in which order.
Faria: I’d like to see the Captain first.
Rick: Okay. That’s an interesting situation. We…don’t actually have a Captain.
Faria: I tell you, it’s the crew that always kills the Captain.
Rick: No, it's not like that.
He explains that when it comes to the important decisions, we defer to whoever has the expertise that best fits the situation at hand.
Faria: Like pirates?
Rick: No, not pirates. Perhaps being too democratic at times, but…
Faria: That might complicate matters, like being with the one person…we’ll see.
Rick: All right, I’ll send over the pilot first.
Nika: Okay, I’ll go.
And she goes. She knocks on his door and is let in and gets a look at the Shepherd.
Faria: Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?
Nika: Just water, if that’s okay. Thank you.
He gives her the water and they settle down to the interview.
Nika: What can I do for you, Shepherd?
Faria: Tell me what you do.
Nika: Mostly, I fly.
Faria: Why do you do that?
Nika: (startled) ‘Why’?
She’s not expecting that kind of question and pauses before answering.
Nika: Because it’s what I’m good at. It’s what I like.
Faria: So you fly just to fly.
Nika: Well, I fly to eat but mostly yeah, I fly to fly.
Faria: Mm-hm. And you say you like it. Why do you like it?
Nika: I like to be out in the Black.
Faria: Why?
Nika: It speaks to me.
Faria: Perhaps it is God speaking to you.
Nika: Perhaps. There’s certainly something bigger than I out there.
Faria: And what does the Black say to you?
Nika smiles a little smile.
Nika: In general, I am a very small cog in a very large Universe.
Faria: Well. But if the single cog is out of place, the machine doesn’t work. And do you know what your role is?
Nika: Right now it’s to be a pilot.
Faria: For anyone? For any purpose?
Nika: Do my level best to do good by people as I run across out there.
Faria: That is an interesting claim. You say you do your best. Do you try your hardest or do you do what you think is best?
Nika stops a beat.
Nika: That’s an interesting little question you have there.
Faria: ‘Cause there are many differences. Some people would claim they’re trying very hard. A gambling addict, for example, would claim that he tries very hard not to go gambling, but he gambles all the time. Is that what you mean by ‘do your very best’?
Nika: I’m not sure how to answer that, Shepherd.
Faria: What would you think the answer is? What did you mean when you said it?
Nika: Well, I was actually referring more to the idea that we don’t leave people stranded, we don’t leave people behind, we take our cargos where they’re supposed to go, and if someone has a problem when we get there, we try to help them.
Faria: So you do what you think is right?
Nika: Yeah.
Faria: You don’t just try to do what you think is right.
Nika: Well, sometimes what I think is right isn’t what other people think is right but yeah, I try to do what I think is right.
Faria: Friends and strangers alike?
Nika: Yes, sir.
A pause.
Faria: Where did you learn to fly?
Nika: Learned to fly a shuttle back home. Learned to fly the bigger vessels when I got out to the Black.
Faria: You took a shuttle out to the Black and learned how to fly?
Nika: No, I was raised on Boros. The shipyard up there. Signed on.
Faria: Signed on. You mean, in the War?
Nika: No.. I did not sign on with the Alliance Navy. I signed onto a freighter and learned to fly. They thought I had talent so they taught me to fly the bigger ships.
Faria: And?
Nika: ‘And’ what?
Faria: What else is there? There’s something more to your story than you’re telling me.
Nika: There is.
Faria: Are you afraid that I would not approve? I have seen a lot in my day. I assure you, you will not shock me. I was in the War.
Nika: No, sir. You were an Alliance Cap’n.
Faria: That’s right.
Nika: And I was most definitely not on your side.
Faria: I’m not sure you know which side is mine. Soldiers don’t pick sides. Or did you?
Nika says nothing.
Faria: You don’t like the Alliance?
Nika: Mmm…I don’t like certain things about how the Alliance is run.
Faria: What don’t you like about the Alliance?
Nika: I don’t think everyone gets equal representation.
Faria: Do you think everyone should be represented according to the populations where they’re from? So that little planets like Boros get nothing and big planets like Londinium get all of them?
Nika: Actually, I think that the littler planets should have a voice, which at the moment I think they don’t.
Faria: How big a voice should that be?
Another pause.
Nika: Not sure I have that answer. I just don’t think it’s fair the way it runs. That’s scary enough.
Faria: So when you were choosing to fly for the Browncoats, where you doing what you thought was right? Helping out people as best you can?
Nika: Yes, sir, I was.
Faria: And is that what you’re doing now? Same thing? How has it changed since the War?
Nika: Hasn’t changed too much.
Faria: A lot of people think there’s a war still going on.
Nika: Not sure how I feel about that one.
Faria: When you went to Miranda, what did you think?
Nika: That what they did wasn’t right.
Faria: And? What should happen now? Who should pay for it?
Nika: Not sure I have that answer. I don’t know that there’s a whole ‘pay for it’ thing goin’ on.
Faria: Do you think some storekeeper in Londinium owes you something?
Nika: Yeah. Not hardly.
Faria: So….
Nika: I don’t have an answer for you, Shepherd. I don’t pretend to know the answers.
Faria: All right. Umm.
Faria contemplates what he’s heard.
Faria: You say you take cargo where it would go. Say if you were, ahh, asked to take the ship into danger, would you?
Nika: I have done, yes.
Faria: So it’s not your first concern, to protect the ship.
Nika draws breath to speak, pauses….and discards what she was about to say with a sigh.
Nika: I don’t want to overthink your question. Protecting my people isn’t important?
Faria: If I asked you to take the ship somewhere dangerous, would you? Or would you fight it?
Nika: It would depend on why you wanted to go.
Faria: All right.
Nika: For example, you lookin’ to fly to Blue Sun.
Faria: That’s right.
Nika: Blue Sun’s a haven of Reavers right now.
Faria: Well, if they even exist.
Nika: Oh, they do.
Faria: And so that would be…?
Nika: Well I would consider that a pretty dangerous run.
Faria: But you’re willing to take my money to get me there, right?
Nika: I am. My crew as a whole is.
Faria: All right. I just wanted to make sure you aren’t going to bolt at the first sign of danger.
Nika: No, sir.
Faria: All right. All right. Why don’t you send the next one on?
Nika: All right. Thank you, sir.
When Nika gets back to the Gift, Rick asks if Annie and Marie have returned. They’re not answering his calls or leaving messages, and he’s getting antsy over their silence. Rina morosely intones that they probably got captured by slavers. Rick declares he’s going to go out looking for them on the station. Nika lets him go and tells Rina it’s time for her to go. She’s in the middle of tinkering with repairs and grouses over the interruption.
Rina: Vernityeh vas. Now?
Nika: Now. Go.
Rina: Great timing. (looks at the grime on her) I should clean up first.
Nika: Rina? Don’t prevaricate.
Rina: (agreeing) He’s a Shepherd. All right.
Joshua: Don’t prevaricate?
Which earns him The Look from Nika. Rina grabs a sketchy wash-up and goes to see Faria. Nika and Joshua continue as the engineer leaves.
Joshua: It’s an excellent vocabulary word, ‘prevaricate’. She’ll be fine.
Nika: I’m not sure I was fine.
Joshua: She’ll be fine. For all her…quirks, shall we say, she’s honest as to what she is.
Nika: There is that.
Rina arrives at Faria’s door and acknowledges him as she crosses his threshold, ducking her head in respect.
Rina: (softly) Father.
Faria: What’s your name? What do you do?
Rina: I’m Marina Kseniya Sebastien. I’m engineer on Summer’s Gift.
Faria: You have some mechanical problems.
Rina: (breathes a laugh) That’s putting it mildly. We have no power for half our ship because we are out of a specific part.
Faria: Mm.
Rina: We’re working on getting a replacement.
Faria: What got you into engineering?
Rina stops and slowly smiles.
Rina: Ooh, Father, where do we start?
Faria: Well, if you wish, this could be kept in confidence. I am a priest. I am a Shepherd.
Rina: Well, a long story less long…
Faria: What was that?
Rina: Long story less long. (softly) The short of it is…I’m an engineer because machines and tools and engines and….
She tilts her head, as if listening to something to something faint.
Rina: …hearing them run….
Faria: You like machines.
There is nothing left to doubt about the smile that breaks across her face.
Rina: They give me joy.
Faria: Not a very long story. It’s a very short story, but you seem to think that there’s a long story behind there.
Rina breathes another laugh.
Rina: I’m thirty one years old. That’s pretty long. I’ve…I’ve loved them since I …can’t remember when.
Faria: And so you picked a ship. So you could play with the engine.
Another laugh, louder this time.
Rina: Pretty much. (sobers) I like a challenge.
Faria: Hmm. It’s not the thing a passenger wants to hear. About what a challenge the engine is. And I’m thinking that when you were repairing the ship on Miranda, were you still thinking how fun it was?
Rina: (softly) Yeah.
Faria: You thought it was fun being on Miranda?
Rina: The place didn’t matter as long as I had the machines.
Faria: And what got you there….mattered? Or do you only care about machines?
She looks at him.
Rina: I went there because the constraints of friendship convinced me I should go.
Faria: You’re loyal to your friends.
Rina: Yes.
Faria: Mm-hm. Why?
Rina: (puzzled) Why I’m loyal to my friends or why this—I don’t understand.
Faria: Why you’re loyal to your friends in this flying through Reaver space to a desolate blackrock, or what was reported to be a blackrock, based on a relatively incredible story broadcast by…buccaneers, stuck in a middle of a war. Were you friends with the Serenity crew?
Rina: (quietly) No.
Faria: So it wasn’t those friends you were being loyal to.
Rina: No.
Faria: Then…one of your crew wanted to go to Blue Sun?
Rina: Basically that’s it.
Faria: Who was that?
Rina: Nika.
To be fair, Arden wanted to go, too. But Rina’s speaking from her heart and not her head, and she knew that hope of seeing Brian drew Nika to Blue Sun even as the crew tried to help Arden find the answers he sought to his past. Rina knew Arden’s quest was just as personal as Nika’s, but Nika’s was more important to her and because of it she answered: Nika.
Faria: And that was a good reason to go through Reaver space?
Rina: I’m not sure I und—that I-I know the rest of your question, here. It…She was my friend. And she had friends she was worried for. They-they were there. We investigated. We wanted to see if they were all right. I—what’s the problem?
Faria: Well it’s not exactly like you went to go visit Grandma when she didn’t answer the phone one time. You went into perhaps the most dangerous place in the Verse. That can’t be out of the love of machines and the idea of loyalty. What made you—I mean your friend had friends there, as well I suppose. Is that a wise place to go?
Rina can’t quite make sense of the question and just stares quizzically at Faria.
Faria: Do you not care for your own safety?
Rina: I was reasonably sure about my own safety. I …(huffs) …Again, I’m not entirely sure what you mean. What do you want from me? Just ask me straight.
Faria leans in.
Faria: I wish to know who I would be flying with for this long journey into a dangerous place.
Rina: Well that I can tell you.
Faria: Then tell me.
Rina: (evenly) Nika is the best damn pilot I’ve ever seen breathing who ever put her hands on a yoke. She has done things with our ship that as an engineer I can tell you should not be physically possible, but she’s managed to do it. There is no one I wouldn’t trust to get me through hell and back than her.
Faria: Well, I’ve already spoken with Nika. It is you that I’m concerned about.
Rina: (frowning) Okay, you’re going to have to be straight with me again. What exactly do you want from me?
Faria: I’m not trying hide anything from you. It strikes me that you didn’t think much about the situation you got yourself into, going to Miranda. You like to fly ships, you do what your friends tell you to. Is that what you’re telling me? Do you think about the consequences of your actions?
Rina cuts loose an exasperated sigh.
Rina: Look. I’m not the Captain. I’m just the engineer.
Faria: Apparently there is no Captain. So you are the Captain. As much as anyone else. Or is that not the case?
Rina: We have an informal system, I will admit. If it came down to an engineering problem, they would defer to my judgment since I’m the best engineer of all of us. If it came to flying, we defer to Nika. If it came to negotiating, we would defer to the best negotiator. But I will tell you this: If I think an idea is stupid, I’ll say so.
Faria: What if it comes down to life or death decisions? Who makes those decisions then?
Rina: We weigh in.
Faria: And?
Rina: I express my opinion. Especially if it’s life or death, I don’t make any holds barred on that. And then we take a vote based on the best information we have at the time. But there are certain situations where you can’t do things by committee. Someone has to step up, take responsibility for making the big decision that might send us to our deaths.
Faria: And you’re willing to do that? Or you do it whether you think it’s the right choice?
Rina: That’s the command decision, isn’t it?
Faria: It concerns me that there is…there’s a reason why for fifteen-hundred years ships have had Captains. It’s so the crew doesn’t have to make those decisions.
Rina: Well, then I would have to firmly put myself in the crew’s position. I’m a Specialist. I’m not Command.
Faria: Can you be commanded?
Rina: I think I’ve proven that I can. But, quite frankly, if I think your idea is stupid and I have a better one, I will voice it. And I will push for it. But so far, the people I’ve crewed with have come up with good decisions. Decisions I can live with, decisions I agree with. For the most part. Like I said, if I think you’re going to do something stupid, I’ll tell you. But I haven’t had to do that in quite a while.
Faria clears his throat and Rina sighs.
Rina: I could have walked off the ship and found a job anywhere. I could have had any other job. I chose to stay with this ship because I believe in the people on her. Our overall mission is whatever we do—yes, we’re cargo haulers. We try to make money. It’d be stupid not to. But we try to do good while we do it. We don’t go out of our way to ream the guy.
Faria: Which guy?
Rina: Our clients. Innocents. (sighs) Did Nika tell you how we got the ship?
Faria: Nn-nn. I’ve not heard that story.
Rina: I was hired to fix the ship by its owner, based out of Bernadette. We were required to haul cargo Rim-ward and it was en route that we discovered that he was not the actual owner of the ship at all. He’d stolen it from someone else. The crew that he’d hired? They were about to mutiny. We put it down. We went to the world where the original owner was to return the ship to him, because it was the right thing to do.
Faria: The Captain of the ship let you do this?
Rina: We were in the middle of fighting off bandits at the settlement where we were dropping off the cargo and he got killed during the battle. So without a Captain, without anyone to gainsay us giving the ship back to its rightful owner, we tried to do so. Turned out the rightful owner was actually dead, he’d been dead for some time. But his heir gave us the ship for the charge of the paperwork on the condition that we do good with it.
Faria: I’m not an advocate.
Rina: Neither am I.
Faria: So I don’t know how well it would hold up in court.
Rina: She’s still alive. She can testify.
Faria: Are you saying that the Captain who hired you died in combat?
Rina: Yes.
Faria: Nothing anyone could do?
Rina: No. Personally, I was busy fighting for my life and the life of the crew at the time. I wasn’t able to guard his back.
Faria is silent for a moment. Then:
Faria: Are you a believer?
Rina: Oh, dear. (a beat) Why do I hear a capital letter in ‘believer’? What do you mean by that?
Faria: Do you believe in higher power?
Rina: If I believe in God, I believe God has a really interesting sense of humor.
Faria: If you do?
Rina: I have to say, I have not spoken to God regularly except to curse Him for quite some time.
Faria: That would imply belief.
Rina: Well, when you put it that way, then I guess the answer is ‘yes’.
Faria: Then you feel…square.
Rina: You mean, as in ‘Last Rites’ square?
Faria: You feel comfortable with your life? Your choices? You don’t feel a need of atonement?
Life. Choices. Atonement. It’s a matter that requires thought before answering and Rina thinks. Then:
Rina: Maybe not in the regular sense.
Faria: You said you tried to do good in the world. Put down a mutiny… against a murderer. Do you think that’s the right decision? Perhaps these mutineers were perhaps in the right.
Rina: I believe we did the right thing, yeah.
Faria: And you have no regrets.
Rina: I don’t think that it’s possible to go through life as a human being without some regrets at the end of the day. We all make mistakes. We’re all fallible. But we can try to make them right. So, perhaps maybe because of that, you’re never fully done atoning for the things you didn’t do right.
Faria: Is that what you are?
Rina: Still atoning? Carrying regrets? Baggage? Since I’m human, I’m going to have to say ‘yes’. I’m not perfect.
Faria: No one is. Well…anymore.
Rina: It’s been a long time since anyone born of woman was perfect, Father.
True enough. Twenty-five hundred years and counting.
Faria: Will you be comfortable with a Shepherd aboard the ship?
Rina: I have no problem with it.
And that’s that. Faria releases Rina from the interview and Joshua takes her place.
Forward to: Turning on a Dime
Back to Season One: Foundations
Back to Season Two: Hitting Our Stride
Back to Season Three: Things Fall Apart
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