Forgotten Freedom:1
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Doog: ...Yeah, the Trouser Titan banged a few babes last night. It was some kinky stuff. Hachachacha! (Laughter)
Ajhazi: I hope one day that I may be strong enough to cut the Trouser Titan in half. It is clearly evil.
Doog: ...evil? *Close his legs unconsciously*
Marish: Ajihazi, do you know what a Trouser Titan is?
Ajihazi: Some sort of powerful demon. It must be. I mean, it exploded infants! Such vile creatures must be destroyed.
Marish laughed uproariously as Doog gasped, squeaked, and ran away.
The next day Doog returns to the deck to find Michael while hopefully avoiding Ajihazi. He finds Michael hawking loogies off the side of the ship.
Doog: I'm telling ya, it's epic levels down there!
Michael: That’s nothing, I gotta have monkey grip just to...
Doog: Huhuhuh, monkey grip.
Jam: Hey you know if someone threw some alchemist's fire off the side of the ship, a lot of people would be burned. Good thing V keeps his stash with him at all times, so that people can’t abuse it!
Michael: I gotta, uh... use the can.
Jam: okay!
A short time later, Michael returns with V, both of them carrying armfuls of Alchemist’s Fire, much to the joy of the currently bored Doog. They begin to throw them overboard, sometimes watching them crash to the ground, bursting into flames.
“Hey, since this is mine, you guys owe me.” V points out as the supply begins to run low.
“I don’t owe you squat.” Doog says indignantly almost wishing V would challenge him for repayment.
Michael is much more reasonable, “I'll steal you some ale or something.” He says before turning back to watch the fire spread across a small farmhouse.
Jam finally notices what is going on and runs across the ship to stop them. “Wait, what have I done?! Michael, if you don’t stop I shall slay you with my ultimate powers of darkness!!”
“Yeah, yeah…” Michael says completely ignoring the demand as he tosses the next vial off, aiming for a wagon moving slowly along the ground.
“I'm warning you!!”
Setting the vial in his hand to the side Doog asks in a rather threatening tone “Wonder how far I could throw him...” Obviously worried Jam begins to stutter taking a step back “er.... I'll... call the paladin!!”
Michael perks up at the mention of Lisa, “Oh really?! Where is she?!” He asks drooling in anticipation of seeing her again as he looks around.
Maisy: Hey there, boys.
Michael: Uh, I gotta go... run for my life now...
V: Uh... (What do I have with me that I could use to escape??)
Maisy: I don’t see why you like that pontiff girl over me, V.
Doog: Yeaaah... I gotta go learn monkey grip.
V: HEY DONT LEAVE ME!!!
"Oh gods, why haven't you smote these dumbasses yet? I know its because you're just a bunch of sick twisted freaks that enjoy watching us scurry. So you let these creeps run rampant in our midst."
-Tasen Utgen ex-cleric of the Sovereign Host after an encounter with the crew of the FF
Thranish the Ring of Fire manager and his assistant Tommy are marching home to Sharn after meeting "friends" in Droaam. Tommy opens his coat in the heat and Thranish spies something.
Thranish pulls aside Tommy's coat. "Oy, 'old up. Whassat?"
Tommy looks down. "It's me belt, Thranish."
"No," says Thranish, "There's a crossbow in ya trowsers. Wha's a loaded crossbow doin' in ya trowsers?"
"S'fer protection!"
"Protection? From whah?" scoffs Thranish, mockingly taking on a distinct foreign accent. "Zee Karrnathi?"
Oh those cheeky adventurers, always walking around with loaded crossbows in their pants.
"Wha's ta stop it blowin ya bollocks off every time you sit down?"
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