Forgotten Freedom:23
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Michael sits in the corner of the galley as Terra enters.
Terra: Hey, Blackguard. I have a proposition for you.
Michael: (Perking up) Yeah?
Terra: Well, it’s more of a challenge, really. If you can beat me in a drinking contest, I spend the night with you, totally subject to your whims.
Michael immediately begins drooling.
Terra: BUT! If I win, you agree to stop leering at me.
Michael: Deal! Better get ready for a wild night, missy!
Pholly (still working off his debts as bartender) wheels over a large keg of ale as a crowd gathers.
(3 hours later – now on their 8th keg)
Volrath: No matter how often I see this, it just never gets old!
Terra: (completely unaffected) Ready to concede yet?
Michael is currently having difficulty lifting his head as he slides slowly off his chair. He mumbles incoherently before passing out on the floor.
Terra: I’ll take that as a yes.
Doog: Whoa! And Michael cheats at these games!
Jarlot: (Leaning over to Kanatash, whispering) I probably shouldn't be surprised, but... how the hell did she do that?
Kanatash: High level Druids gain poison immunity. Apparently alcohol is included in that definition.
Jarlot: Why didn’t you say anything?
Kanatash: I was curious as to Michael’s alcohol tolerance level. Plus, I want to see the look on the poor fool’s face when he realizes he lost at drinking to a woman.
There was a knock on Andrea's door a couple of days later.
"You can't come in!" she called out. The door opened anyway.
"Good to see I'm not interrupting anything," Michael commented as he shut the door. Andrea bookmarked her page and closed the book, sighing.
"Grab him," she ordered, and the enhanced zombies on either side closed in. He smirked as they tightened their grip.
"Blackguard, sweetie," he reminded her. "Care to guess how many of your zombies I can dominate?"
"Not enough, I promise you." She lifted an eyebrow. "So, why are you bothering me?"
"I want your help to beat Terra in a drinking contest."
She laughed. "What, you think she'll accept a rematch?"
"Of course she will. By the way, you do have defenses against scrying and so forth, right?"
"Naturally."
"Good. I need you to come up with something that will disable her immunity to alcohol."
"That's going to take time to prepare. Also, why in the name of Vol should I help you?"
Michael smiled. "Because you hate her."
The eyebrow lifted again. "What makes you think that?"
He shrugged as well as he could, given the zombies. "I've had to invest in observational skills since that hot ***** of a paladin came onboard. I spend, what, 66% of my waking time ogling the women on this ship?"
Andrea blinked. "You actually try to figure out how we're feeling and thinking?"
"What?! **** no! But ever since Marish pointed out that Terra's hot for Lisa, I've wondered about the rest of you."
Andrea glared, and prepared to blast . . . "Wait. Why did you have to invest in 'observational skills' after Lisa came on board?"
He chuckled. "You really didn't pay much attention to the corpses we brought in for you back then, did you?"
"Not beyond determining viability for undeath, no. Do I want to know?"
"Do you care?" She shrugged, then shook her head, so he continued. "Back in the good old days, Doog and I got to **** a lot of victims. Now I've got to keep an eye out for her." He growled at some memory. "I blame you for that, by the way."
She sat back down. "How do you figure?"
"If you'd been more willing to look after the crew, Jarlot wouldn't have accepted her and, later, Mickey. But he figured he needed someone who'd heal for practically nothing, so . . . them."
"Well, if he'd let me do my job," she huffed, "we wouldn't have to worry about a living crew."
He snorted. "The rest of us need the occasional living redshirt, m'dear. Don't be greedy." She rolled her eyes, but he continued. "That's a bit beside the point. Are you willing to help out?"
She for a few minutes. "I suppose I am. But this is going to take a while to make."
"That's fine. I've gotta have the unfair rematch first."
"You think you have a way to beat her without me? Why not use that both times?"
"Gotta be fair. Otherwise Lisa will go down on my *** like a ho on a ****."
She snickered. "You only wish. By the way, are you sure you can drink her under the table if all magic is turned off?"
"I can drink two dwarven professionals under the table, one after the other, without cheating. If she can beat me fair and square, well then . . . I'll have to find some other way to have her ***."
"Right." She opened her book back up, then paused. "Michael, why do you care? She's a lesbian, aCool Cthulhuording to you. She'll never come to you willingly."
He chuckled, then laughed outright. "Willingly? My dear, my very dear Andrea, my poppet, my bedtime snack, if I cared how willing women are, I'd have invested skill points into Seduction by now. Only the strong and the pure are worth trying to seduce."
She waved a hand, and the zombies wrenched him around to face the door. Then . . . "Before I toss you out," she snarled through clenched teath, "why not just find more 'weak' women to rape?"
He over his shoulder. "Because," he replied, hand on the doorknob, "an opportunity to take someone strong is not to be passed up."
He barely had the door open before he went soaring through it, landing head first. He got up, rubbing his nose. No blood. Good.
"This plotting **** is for *******, I don't care how good Norbaz and the others are at it. Brute force is just plain better." He sighed. "I really need to out-level Lisa one of these days."
Sa'vor and Void watched form the shadows; things where getting intresting. Everyone was so busy that they hadn't noticed him, Kithle and Slip leave to gather the eye. And now they had it. The first mark had been found, as the Prophecy spoke "There shall be one of elemental birth, a illithid and the last heir of Vol, whom shall gather great power and chaos around them. with this chaos they shall forge a new illithid empire to last a million years".
All the while Sa'vor smiled, an oddly desturbing smile, Terra was good. very good. she manipulated the crew members around her like pawns in the greater game, in the end, they were meaningless. Terra's immunity to Psionic energies disturbed Sa'vor, obviously she'd found a technique. Sadly, she wasn't immune to manipulation and the Arcane. She'd tried to test her hallucinogens on him and failed, since Sa'vor was neither alive, dead or undead. He was all and none, he was the light and the dark, he was the arcane, the psionic and the divine. And he'd been the plaything of the Lords of Madness and Dal Quor, but now the joke was on them. He'd seen their plot, and he was ready. All he was waiting for was the first attack
(Terra strides through the Forgotten Freedom's interior; believing herself to be invisible. Not even Kanatash and Kithle dared mess with her; Sa'vor appears from the shadows)
Terra: Hello, I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I am Terra
Sa'vor: Yes, the drug master extraodinaire (bows) your defeat of the Brute Michael was most amusing. I congratulate you for your supreme cheating abilities.
Terra: What was your name again?
Sa'vor: I am Sa'vor; last heir of Vol. I am perhaps one of the crew's least trusted members. Little incidents here and there.
Terra: Well, I'm wondering, could you test these plants?
Sa'vor: I'd rather not, I tend to avoid things like this. Enhances my urge to kill, you see.
Terra: How come I only see you now and then?
Sa'vor: I prefer to not reveal myself to new crewmembers; all that talk of me hunting them. Complete lies, I tell you. I merely hunt the redshirts. Keeps them awake
Terra: Well, if you must excuse me, I must be off.
Sa'vor: Indeed, good day.
(Slip fades into existence)
Slip: I really hate it when you talk like that
Sa'vor: I know, she's planning something. Kithle and Kanatash have been sensing something the past few days, like a subtle spider web spinning around us. Its either her, or someone whom has not revealed themself.
Slip: Now, did she detect me then?
Sa'vor: No, she was completely unaware. Its a good thing you made her believe she could detect you.
Slip: Jarlot is slightly insaner than usual
Sa'vor: The hallucinogens are affecting him greater than other crew members. Now I believe we should continue with the project.
Terra walks up to the bar, and knocks to get the attention of the bartender, Pholly.
Terra: Hey, redshirt. Just how much does Michael drink?
Pholly *spitshining a pint mug* You mean for real, or when he's cheating his ass off?
Terra: Both.
Pholly: Well, Ive seen him chug a keg of Maanvaki Grog and only barely get heartburn.
Terra: Man-what grog?
Pholly: Maanvaki. Devon scrounged it up for me a while ago, and I've managed to figure out how it's made. I keep a few Kegs of the stuff around. It's pretty powerful. I have to keep it in glass-lined kegs, or it eats away at everything.
Terra: He's drinking acid? Good gawds, that can't be good.
Pholly: Well, it's good for more than just drinking. It cleans stuff real nice. As far as I know, it's the only thing that will clean Norbaz's 12 alarm chili from the pots. Does a nice job cleaning the privys, too.
Terra: And the guy drinks this drain cleaner? Wait, you can barely mix cereal and milk without it blowing up. How is it you're making this vileness?
Pholly: Well, it's not easy. The ingredients aren't explosive, either. They're just a bit nasty.
Terra: How nasty is nasty?
Pholly: It would scare the necro chick to death.
Terra: Point taken. Is there any chance you could make up a double strength batch?
Pholly: Maybe. I dont know what it would do, though. Why, got someone you want to dissolve?
Terra: I wouldn't put it past Michael to challange me to a rematch. And come up with some new way of cheating. If the deck is going to be stacked, I want it to be stacked in my favor.
Pholly: Well... I may be able to do something. I owe the bastard for making my lab blow up all those times.
Terra: Deal.
Lisa: *from down the hall* Terra, can I... see you for a minute, please?
Terra: *winks at Pholly* Ta, dearie.
Michael is walking through a dark hallway (Not a wise choice considering that he was is in the aberration cabin area, but Michael never has beeen known for his smarts.)
A slimy red tentacle reaches out from the shadows about Michael and pulls him off his feet. Clinging to the roof on the other end of the tentacle is Volrath.
Volrath : Why hello there. While I do enjoy seeing you humiliated, I can't let yopu lose another drinking contest to Terra.
(Michael is unable to talk, becuase Volrath's tentacle has found a cozy spot right around Michael's neck.)
Volrath : Terra's poison immunity is in no way magical, it is simply because she is a powerful enough druid that they no longer harm her.
Volrath lets Michael fall to the floor, and begins scampering away along the roof.
Volrath (shouting back): By the way she isn't strictly a lesbian. She just...(Volrath's voice trails off)
John: So, Volrath...
Volrath: Mmmh?
John: Apparently I'm getting my sabbatical.
Volrath: Oh, that's nice.
John: Err... Why were you so keen on me getting a sabbatical?
Volrath: Hmmm... Well, Sa'vor is doing something rather pointless. He thinks he's threatened by Terra and is thus trying to fight her off. Terra is sort of laughing at him behind his back. She thinks he's kind of funny. You know, I kind of hope it works out for Slip and him.
John: What does this have to do with me getting a sabbatical?
Volrath: I was getting to that. Well, Terra wants to set up Slip and Sa'vor. She thinks that Sa'vor needs some "good loving", and apparently she wants you to be the justice of the peace.
John: Huh?
Volrath: As to why you need the sabbatical, she wants you finally stop dithering around and take your vows to become a cleric.
John: Oh... okay. That makes sense now.
Volrath: Good!
(Volrath walks off, pulls out a small note pad and checks an item off, namely "A cleric of wood and metal". The title of the page is "The Domination of Sa'vor, Kithle, and the plan to drive Kanatash sane". He looks at the list again, puts it away, and walks off whistling to himself nonchalantly.)
Kanatash: He's up to something. I know it.
Kithle: Well what's new? Just about everyone except one or two of the newer redshirts are embroiled in some sort of scheme.
Kanatash: Yes, but I don't know what he's up to. That makes me very angry. Very, very angry.
Terra: Hey, Slip.
Slip: (fades in) What now?
Terra: It seems that my ability to disrupt Psionics is making Sa'vor nervous.
Slip: Why do you say that?
Terra: You're his lackey, and you keep following me. I know you're there, whether you want me to or not. I just don't need to show it every time.
Slip: *Tsk* Fine, I admit it. But who wouldn't be?
Terra: True. I just felt I should tell you, Sa'vor, Kanatash and Kithle are not my targets. I just like screwing with them.
Slip: Why should I believe you?
Terra: You've seen enough to answer that question. I may be manipulative, but I know better than to take on people like them. I have encountered much in my travels, and I'm well aware that anomalies like Sa'vor are not to be trifled with.
Slip: And the drugs?
Terra: Natural curiosity. I've tried it on Volrath too, but to no avail.
Slip: Still, I wonder why you're telling me this...
Terra: Sa'vor is nervous because he can't read my intentions. He is realizing the limitations of Psionics, and just how much he relies on it.
Slip: And...?
Terra: If he hopes to lead Kithle on the path toward an Illithid empire, he'll be dealing with people that can stymie his mind-reading and are far more dangerous to them than I could ever hope to be.
Slip: You've done your homework....
Terra: All three of them need to branch out a bit in information gathering. A one-trick pony becomes obsolete sooner or later. There are many other, less direct ways to determine motives.
Slip: Seems you are more than you let on.
Terra: In regards to that, there is something else to tell him. They need to realize that the three of them are not the only ones with spies everywhere. Mental blind spots can be lethal...
Slip: What do you mean? They have nearly all the redshirts under some form of control...
Terra: What class am I?
Slip: Druid, but I don't see how tha- ...you *****.
Terra: The rats on board have quite a lot of information. I have other means, but you'll have to figure those out for yourself.
Slip: I must say I'm impressed. I must also say I'm disappointed in Sa'vor for missing something so obvious. Still, why even give the impression that you're up to something?
Terra: I wanted to keep them on their toes. Creating an empire is one thing, getting there is another. Powerful forces may align to stop them if they are careless.
Slip: How would you know?
Terra: All in due time...
Kithle: Excuse me, you were talking about rats
Terra: Huh?
Slip: Where are you, flayer?
Brown rat crawls on Terra's workench.
Kithle: Do you honestly think one who has access to almost every ability a mortal has ever wielded would limit themselves? Terra, I think you underestimate my cunning, did you honestly think we wouldn't take control of at least some of the animals on board?
Terra: So are you the rat or just projecting?
Kithle: Woudn't you like to know, anyway I don't have time to ride herd on everything in-ship all the time. I want to employ you as my spy master amongst the critters. Remember I will be watching you back.
Terra: Why should I?
Kithle: Magebred Dragonhawk, access to my sub-labs, and a warning Michael has sought Andrea's aid in defeating you in Alcohol consumption.
Terra: Slip, is he trustworthy.
Slip: Sort of, he always does what he says, but...
Terra: Close enough, but why else, you schemer?
Kithle: I want Michael to swear off plotting for good. I don't need more competition, and if Michael gets the Idea that he can plot, it will get in my way, especially since my favorite pawns like Chalky are inclined to follow booze, battle, and booty (you can take that both ways). I don't think he will become a good mastermind, simply interfere with the machinations of the more qualified plotters.
Terra: aaaannnnnnnnnnd...
Kithle: I wanna see the look on his face when you and Lisa hit it off, and he can't even watch.
Terra: You are a bastard.
Kithle: That's what they tell me. The 'hawk will be passing the ship at noon tomorrow when we pass over the Eldeen reaches. I want your first report in three days, and find out what Volrath is up to. Slip, if you would be so kind... Find Silence for me, I want to learn about this binding stuff.
Slip: Just eat her brain.
Kithle: I don't know how much power that would give me, I need to learn more about this before I can just rush in and pull the old wrap and suck. Good day.
Slip: Couldn't get past the piercings, huh?
Kithle: That too, they pinch my tentacles.
Rat disappears.
Terra: Honestly, he is a bastard. Even I didn't notice he had control of some of the animals.
Slip: So, are you going to do it?
Terra: Why not? I have my reasons for helping, and I don't really have to become a "spy master amongst the critters" as he says. I've been one for years.
Slip: I don't expect a straight answer, but... for who?
Terra: Me.
Slip: ...?
Terra: I keep tabs on virtually every corner of Eberron. Why is a whole other conversation, and one best saved for later.
Slip: You enjoy being cryptic, don't you?
Terra: Immensely.
Squishy: So that's the situation, huh?
Terra: Roughly. I'm actually enjoying it. My skills have fallen off over the last few years, only working with morons, and getting stung a few times keeps me sharp.
Squishy: I can tell that you didn't come down here to just tell me this...
Terra: Indeed. I was going over my finances, and noticed a few... discrepancies. You are the only one here I trust enough to take a look at this.
Squishy: Just like old times, eh? Very well. I'll let you know what I find.
Terra: Something else to keep in mind. Volrath is up to something. Potentially serious stuff, and I can only contain him so much.
Squishy: Still sees you as the 'big sister', huh? I guess it's only natural that he tries to one-up you from time to time. I'll see what I can do.
Volrath glares at Lisa, who is picking up even more flowers
Volrath (to himself): That horrible lady is going to take Terra away. She is going to pay.
Volrath (again to himself): Don't worry to much. Her happiness won't last long when she figure out where those flowers come from. And remeber there will always be time for vengeance later.
Volrath (still to himself): How can you be sure?
Volrath (to himself): Just trust me.
V: Oh no. Not you.
Silence: OMG, It's V! OMG, it's been like what since we last saw each other? Five years? You were like totally trying to blow the Brelish Parliament, and you ran out of spell vials of scorching ray, so I hooked you up with a hot little alchemist savant friend from school, right? How'd you like her? did she blahblah blahblahblah blah blahblahblahblah like she did her boyfriend a couple of times. You know, if you were a vestige, I'd totally sell my soul to you.
V : Please, just go away. You're giving me a headache.
Silence : Was that an innuendo? That was so funny V! Hahahahahaha!
V : Please, just kill me now...
Michael : Well, hello there, little girl, what have we here?
Silence : Pig.
At this point Silence gives Michael the pimp slap of doom, (touch of the void full attack) leaving 3 huge bruises aCool Cthulhuross his face, throws him up into the air several feet and knocks the wind out of him. Silence then walks away after blowing a kiss to V, who's giggling.
Michael : Nice to meet you too, ***** ! V, who the **** is she? More importantly, how did you get her to want to shack up with you?
V: Michael, you just got pimp slapped by a girl! Weeheehee!
Michael : V, if you ever laugh like that again, I will rip your throat out with my teeth. Now tell me who she is. NOW.
Doog walks by sporting a similar combination of bruises.
Doog : I see you met the same icy ***** I did. Who does she think she is, pimp slapping the master pimp?!
Devon : Hey guys, I totally met this new girl! She LIKES my poetry!
V, Doog, Michael : Shut up, Devon!
Devon : Alright, I'll admit it, she only liked one of my poems. The one about trying to ask out Andrea and discovering that Sa'vor was using her shape instead.
V : Devon, Vogon poetry compares favorably with yours. You redefine the term "horrid poetry".
Michael : Wait, Devon, what did she look like?
Devon : A total knockout! She did wear a bit too much black for my tastes. She said she was a "binder", whatever that means. I think it has to do with S+M. But anyways she said her name was Silence, which is funny because she talks incessantly.
V : That's her... bloody wannabe...
Doog : V, how did you meet up with her?
V : Don't make me say it. Please, it'd be too cruel.
Michael : Since when has that ever stopped us before?
Doog : If you don't tell us, we'll make Devon read you his poetry.
V : Alright, alright I'll spill. Basically, we went to the same high school. We were part of the same social circles. She wanted to corrupt the school, and I wanted to convert it to communist values, or failing that, to blow it sky high. She was into all this occult stuff. I tried it with her a few times, but I couldn't get anything to come up.
Michael : Wait, repeat that last sentence, what with your mask and all.
V : I tried it with her a few times but I couldn't get anything to co... Michael. You are a pervert.
Everyone but V is falling on the floor laughing.
V : Michael, you do realize that I could have gotten her to **** you, right?
Michael : Would saying I'm sorry help?
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