Navero 01
From: dparsons@jarthur.claremont.edu (Daniel Parsons) Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Humerous Situations: Navero I Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: usa Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: The Adventures of Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way
I like all these postings about funny situations which keep happening to otherwise perfectly normal adventurers. In my opinion, the game should be funny. For the last 3 years I have been running a character who, through no fault of his own, always manages to be hysterically funny just through inspired incompetence.
I now give you, without further ado...
Our story begins when our Hero is chucked out of his monastery at age 16 to go out and learn the ways of the world. The Order is (as you might guess from the title) quite Lawful Good, but dear Navero has a streak of obstinacy in him, concerning how following the rules might not apply in every situation; this means he asks lots of stupid questions, and annoys the h**l out of his superiors. It was decided that this rather foolish youth should go out into the world, and see for himself, that the Way was the only way; perhaps experience and a few clouts to the head would teach him to keep his mouth shut.
Our Hero was not sent out all alone, of course: a half- elven mage named Dania (female, 4' 9", VERY earthy) had stopped by to purchase some Holy Water, but could not afford it, and so instead of paying was told to escort this young idiot for a little while, and see that he didn't get hurt.
The rest of the party was assembled in the traditional barfight. Dania had gone into a tavern to unwind, as Navero had been pestering her for days: he had never been that far from home before, and everything prompted his curiosity. Dania went into the tavern; Navero tagged along, and received the shock of his youthful life. People sitting around, not doing anything productive, willfully imbibing spiritous liquors! Gazing at his new friend with obviously unwholesome thoughts! (He didn't seem to notice that she was gazing right back.) The noise! The smells! This must be one of those pits of decrepitude that Father Gulucios sometimes spoke of, when warning about temptations! But how could anyone find this sort of behaviour tempting? It was so... vile, and undisciplined, and really icky!
Our hero stood up on a table, and began to preach. He wasn't nearly as good as Father Gulucios - the big man with the black beard and scar on his face knocked Navero down, and some more people started tossing him around the room, and everyone was laughing at him. Then he landed on a VERY big man who grabbed the man with the scar and struck him in the face. A great fight began; It swirled around the room, Navero in the middle; he tried to tell them about the eternal damnation of their souls that these actions would no doubt assure, but no one would listen. Finally, a small man in a suit of plate mail (YES! a PC!) grabbed Our Hero and dragged him out into the street.
Cavalier: "You stay out here, good holy man... er, choir boy, er... No matter - I and my companions shall sort out this lot of unruly peasants."
There commenced much sound and fury, signifying nothing. After it was all over, Dania came out, looking rather disheveled, and told Our Hero in no uncertain terms never to do anything like that again.
Navero: "But I must! If I do not, I will have failed my duty to my faith. 'One must strike when Opportunity grants it.' It is written that our duty is sacred, to bring the light to the world, and save those who are lost."
Dania: "YOU almost lost your <obscene gerund> HEAD!! And mine, and that really <censored> <censored> <really censored!> you <Racial slur>. I ought to..."
But at this moment, the short person in plate mail came out of the tavern, with someone who looked like a mercenary, and a mysteriously cloaked figure. There was a dent in the short person's helmet, but he did not take the time to try and explain it.
Cavalier: "Well, that was entertaining. You there, young priest! Do you know any sorts of healing arts?"
Navero: "Um... I took my training from Father Angorian, who once..."
Cavalier: "Very good! We have need of a healer, as we are going north to seek out an Orc lair that needs to be emptied. It shouldn't be too much trouble, but your presence would be appreciated. One of the others may have a need of you. There should be riches and glory for all involved. Your little friend can come along too, if she likes."
And so, the party formed and we went on our first adventure. I know that this hasn't been particularly funny so far, but what happened in that Orc lair should make up for it. When Navero first went into combat, the results were... well, shall we say, what you'd expect of him?
THE PARTY SO FAR:
- Navero, 1st level Human cleric
- Dania, 1st level Half-elf MU
- "The Cusinart", 1st level Drow Cavalier
- Rizudo, 1st level Human fighter
- "Dark and Deadly", 1st level Drow Assassin
Sadly, this was a few years ago, and most of these characters are no longer with us, and I do not remember all of their names.
To be continued....
Dan Parsons
"But please tell me: What's an Orc?"
