Navero 17
From: dparsons@jarthur.claremont.edu (Daniel Parsons) Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XVII Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way
The Dragon was dead...
(Note: chp = current hit points)
- Navero, male human cleric, 3rd level, chp = -4
- Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 3rd level, chp = 2
- Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 3rd level, chp = 1
- Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level, chp = -3
- Razuli, male human fighter, 2nd level, chp = -6
- Arlor, male dwarf thief, 2nd level, chp = -1
(Our group plays that you must reach -10 to die; otherwise you are unconscious and bleeding at 1 hp/round.)
Dania: (stares numbly at dead Dragon)
Rourk: (stares numbly at dead Dragon)
Dania: (stares numbly at dead Dragon)
Rourk: (stares numbly at dead Dragon)
Dania: "Rourk?"
Rourk: (stares numbly at dead Dragon)
Dania: "Are you alive?"
Rourk: "What? Oh... yes, I believe so."
Dania: "Is anyone else down there?" (Starts limping forward)
Rourk: "I shall see. Are you injured, mage?"
Dania: "Yes. Ow. Nav was carrying the bandages, wasn't he?"
Rourk: "I believe so. Check him, he looks hurt."
Dania: "Everybody does. Ow..."
Wounds were cleaned and bandaged as quickly as could be managed, splints made for Arlor's broken legs, and Razuli's shredded torso tightly bound. Rourk tried to wake Navero for his healing spells, but Navero was beyond that. Then Dania and Rourk went to inspect the Dragon and the hoard.
Dania: "Can I have the head? It's for my studies."
Rourk: "Hmm... It is a bit too damaged for display. I suppose that it could fall into your share of the booty."
Dania: "Great. Thanks." (Gets head, starts cutting out brain.)
Rourk: "What are you doing there?"
Dania: "Dragon parts are valuable. Scales, organs, all kinds of stuff."
Rourk: "Indeed. But I shall not be one to dissect my dead foe. It is enough that my deeds be recognized."
Dania: "Uh-huh."
Rourk: "I shall see about the treasure. I am a Dragonslayer; my new status demands an improvement in my monetary position."
Dania: "Right."
The treasure pile was quite impressive up close. Most of the coinage was silver and electrum, but gold was present in significant quantity. There were also several interesting items; swords and rings and necklaces, a staff and a book, and an odd crystal or glass ball, that seemed to have three glowing shapes moving within it.
Rourk: (Inspecting sword Razuli used.) "Mage, come here and look at these things. I wish your opinion."
Dania: (extracts brain) "Just a minute."
Rourk: "Patience is a virtue of mine. Finish your task."
Dania: "Yes, Rourk. I've always admired your restraint."
Rourk: "Of course you have. Many do." (picks up glass ball)
Dania: (Stuffs brain into box.) "Alright, now... what is that thing?"
Rourk: "I have no idea. It seems to have some things imprisoned within it."
Dania: "Let me see."
Rourk: "Hold. I have not completed my own examination."
Dania: "Rourk, give it to me. It's magic, you shouldn't mess with it."
Rourk: "You think me incapable of understanding? Where I come from..."
Dania: "I don't wanna know about where you come from. Just give it here."
Rourk: "No. I expect an apology from you." (walks off)
Dania: "Rourk, you asshole, that thing might be dangerous! Give it!"
Rourk: "Why? Do you think it might be especially valuable? You have given me great insult, magic user, and I refuse to speak to you until you have apologized for yourself."
Dania: (snarl...) "Alright, I apologize! Now hand the fucking thing over!"
Rourk: "You seem somewhat insincere."
Dania: "JESUS CHRIST, Rourk! What the fuck do you <censored> want? Alright! I apologize, I'm sorry I ever crossed you! I'm <censored> sorry I ever even MET you! Now give me the <censored> glow-ball or I'll sock you!"
Rourk: "Oh, very well, then. Catch!" (Tosses glow ball.)
Dania: "NO, YOU IDIOT..." (Ball slips out of her bloody hands, hits floor.)
The hollow glass ball almost exploded into many many fragments, each of which faded into a cloud of smoke. The wisps silently collected into three blobs, and slowly solidified into three warriors, each in full plate covered with exquisite carving, and with great swords at their sides. They looked majestic, awesome, enough to take your breath away.
Paladin 1: (Looks about) "Right! Well, then. Thanks for killing the Dragon, and all that. *Harumph!* Terribly sorry, but we must be going now."
Rourk: "Hail, great warriors! I am Rourk Ravensbane. You are...?"
Paladin 2: "We are The Three Who Do! Our mission is to rid the whole wide world of everything evil!"
Dania: "Who Do what?"
Paladin 3: "Uhrr..."
Paladin 1: "Here now! Don't confuse him! It's impolitic!"
Paladin 2: "Look, everyone! A lady in distress!"
Paladin 3: "WHERE? I want the experience!" (Draws Chainsword. BUZZZZ!!)
Paladin 1: "A lady in distress?! Here now, can't have that!"
Paladin 2: "She's the one over there who looks distressed."
Paladin 1: "How can she be in distress? Her captor is dead and her rescuer stands right there!"
Dania: "Hey!"
Paladin 3: (Still whirling about, looking. Careless swipe of chainsword takes out a rock column.)
Rourk: "I'm afraid there has been an error."
Paladin 1: "We are The Three! We are the ultimate embodiment of all that is essential to Paladinhood! We do not make errors, boy! Only the evil and the ignorant insult us so! Do you detect evil on him?!"
Paladin 2: "No."
Paladin 1: "Pity."
Paladin 3: (Still looking. Cuts Dragon in two and looks inside.)
Paladin 2: "She's over there."
Paladin 3: "Oh? Ah!" (Grabs Dania and charges for the exit.)
Dania: "Put me the fuck down, you <several derogatory terms.>"
Paladin 1: "Here now! She's already been rescued!"
Paladin 3: "Damn! Hey, look at all those people on the floor, with negative hit points..."
Paladin 2: "Sorry. He gets carried away sometimes."
Dania: (snarls)
Paladin 1: "Right! Well, then... Since you were good enough to let us out and all that, old chap, perhaps there's something we can do for you, by way of returning the favor, dontcha know."
Rourk: "If you would be so kind. Some of my companions have been injured in the recent battle with the beast you see."
Paladin 2: "What, all these people?"
Rourk: "Yes. Do you possess any healing arts?"
Paladin 1: "All of these men for one Dragon?"
Rourk: "Well, yes."
Paladin 2: "But it's such a little Dragon."
Paladin 3: "Aw, these guys are wimps! Heck, I once had a character that killed 23 Bahumats!"
Paladin 1: "Nothing to brag about, old sport."
Paladin 3: "Well, that was before I got my Nuclear Chainsword +50."
Dania: "Uh, MIGHTY warriors, I am most distressed that my brave rescuers are lying in puddles on the floor." (Bats eyelashes.)
Paladin 3: "Do we wanna spend spell points on them? I mean, they're not even in our party."
Paladin 1: "Tut! Least we can do."
(Flash! All unconscious characters now have 1 hit point.)
Razuli: "Owwwwww....."
Kortul: "Is it dead?"
Rourk: "Yes, and may I introduce you to The Three Who Do?"
Paladins: (Stand upright and look majestic.)
Navero: "I got soot in my eyes."
Dania: "They aren't very healed."
Paladin 1: "Here, now! We must conserve our energies for the upcoming battle with our great nemesis!"
Rourk: "Who is...?"
Paladin 3: "Alive, but we'll do something about that!"
Paladin 2: "He imprisoned us within the globe!"
Paladin 3: "We never even got the experience for killing Asmodeus that last time!"
Razuli: "It's dead! Yippee! I killed it!" (Brandishes new sword.)
Paladin 3: "With that? That's just +1, +4 vs. Reptiles. Why would you want such a wimpy little sword? No wonder you guys got thrashed; how long have you been playing, anyway?"
Razuli: "Plus WHAT? Playing? What are you talking about?"
Paladin 1: "Your sword's special purpose is the slaying of reptilian horrors."
Razuli: "Oh, neat."
Paladin 1: "*Harumph!* Well, we must go to prepare for the upcoming battle! Good luck to you, brave souls!"
(*POOF!* They vanish.)
Dania: "Good riddance."
Rourk: "Indeed. From the looks of all of you, their healing truly was the least they could do."
Navero: "Who were they?"
Dania: "The Three morons. Now lets..."
(*POOF!*)
Paladin 1: "Yes, what is it?"
Dania: "Huh?"
Paladin 2: "The Three appear whenever The Three are called! Do not call us again unless we are needed!" (They look displeased.)
Paladin 3: "Neat, huh? The DM said we could do that when we hit 50th level."
(*POOF!*)
Razuli: "Those looked like some very powerful idiots."
Rourk: "I'm afraid I find myself agreeing with you. This is truly a dark day."
Razuli: "Of course you agree with me! I mean, it's the only sensible thing to do. How much money did we get?"
We counted the loot; it came to a very large amount. In addition, we found three necklaces (none magical), four rings (one magical), two swords (Razuli's and a two-handed sword, both magical), the staff and book, and a lot of non-magical gems. Right then it was early afternoon; with luck we could make it back to the keep by nightfall. Placing the most valuable items in our pockets, we filled our packs with as much gold and electrum as we could carry, and left. Or at least, we tried. What we did do was discover the source of that cracking heard during the Dragon battle - it was the bridge over the lava pit breaking up.
Kortul: "Shit."
Rourk: "This is highly annoying."
Dania: "OK, guys, what do we do?"
Razuli: "Simple! We take the lightest person in the group, and throw her across with a rope around her waist, then..."
Dania: "Shut up, Raz."
Navero: "I suppose we'll have to climb over. Unless there's some way out from in here."
Kortul: "Doubt it."
Arlor: "Umm... Can we look? At least?"
Dania: "Fine. Let's look."
(Prolonged search. Prolonged mainly by Arlor. No entrances found.)
Razuli: "I wonder how the Dragon got any food in here?"
Dania: "Who knows. Well, Arlor, hop to it."
Arlor: "Um... Did you look on the roof? Bet it's there, yup."
Dania: "We can't fly. Now get going."
Rourk: "I would expect this cowardice from a dwarf."
Arlor: "Then YOU go! I don't wanna!"
Razuli: "Arlor! If you do it, you can have first choice of magic items."
Dania: "No! He'll take the staff, and I should have that!"
Arlor: "I can't use it, ya know."
Dania: "You'll sell it. It's the most valuable thing. You know how greedy these little hairballs are."
Rourk: "I am inclined to agree. But the sword is obviously worth far more."
Arlor: "I don't like that either..."
Kortul: "Stupid. Priest! Get rope, iron spikes for Arlor."
Arlor: "Umm.. I still don't wanna..."
Kortul: "Yes, you do."
Arlor: "Umm..."
Rourk: "You do. Now go to it!"
Arlor: "Why do I gotta climb across! It's dangerous!"
Dania: "Because..."
Razuli: "Hey, where's Navero?"
Dania: "Oh, no."
They all ran to the lava pit. Sure enough, there was Navero, about halfway across, sliding along the wall on the little bit of crumbly ledge which was left from the bridge.
Kortul: "Doing pretty good."
Rourk: "I hope he doesn't get himself killed again."
Razuli: "Watch out for that next step, Nav!"
Dania: "Keep going!"
Navero: (Reaches entrance.)
Razuli: (Throws rope to Navero. He misses it, it falls in the lava.) "It's OK, we got more." (Navero catches second rope.)
The treasure, and the party, was ferried over on ropes until all were on the safe side. Once there, we got the horses (which were still waiting there) and rode back to town with as much speed as our ruptured bodies could take, arriving just after sunset. Navero went to the temple, and everyone else went to the one tavern, where, for the most part, they all had a long, uninterrupted sleep.
Dan Parsons
"I hope I never see another Dragon again as long as I live."
