Navero 18
From: dparsons@jarthur.claremont.edu (Daniel Parsons) Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XVIII Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way
- Navero, male human cleric, 3rd level
- Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 3rd level
- Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 3rd level
- Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level
- Razuli, male human fighter, 2nd level
- Arlor, male dwarf thief, 2nd level
Very few mornings have been more painful than the next to which greeted our heroes. Actually, it wasn't even morning at all anymore, despite the early hour at which they had felt compelled to turn in. But, being awake, now was obviously the time to go out and exploit their new-found wealth.
Razuli: (Calls downstairs) "Room service! Breakfast!"
(Short wait. Door opens.)
Maid: "Ya called for breakfast. Can ya pay?"
Razuli: "Yeah." (Flips her an electrum) "Anything else you think you can do for me this morning?" (Looks her up and down, grins broadly.)
Maid: "I don't think so, sir. Breakfast in a few minutes."
(Another short wait. Razuli inspects and cleans his crossbow.)
Maid: (Opens door. Has tray with steak, fruit juice, eggs.)
Razuli: (Points crossbow.) "Big, isn't it? Wanna feel it?"
Maid: (Leaves tray at door and leaves very quickly.)
First things first: we paid off the moneychanger, and went to the temple. Not being believers, and having already used their services so recently, we could only wrangle a Cure Serious Wounds for each of us. We then asked Dania to identify some of the magic items; this she readily agreed to, as she was very curious about the staff.
- Ring of Protection, +1
- Longsword, +1, +4 vs. reptiles
- Two-handed Sword, +1
- Staff of Thunder and Lightning
- Spellbook with 17 spells, 1st - 5th level
Razuli quickly claimed the Lizard sword, as he had been the one to risk picking it up. Kortul got the two-hander, and Dania the staff and book. Arlor got the ring, over Dania's objection that she had the least protection and so should get it as well.
Then we each went our separate ways, agreeing to meet again at the tavern to discuss plans for the future. The more sensible among us spent the time resting and recuperating - there were quite a few hit points lost. Some, however, felt it necessary to do otherwise.
Razuli: "*Hic!* I'm RICH! Everbodee ges a drink onme."
Tavern Master: "Sure. That'll be 10 gold."
Rourk: "Despite the obvious fact that we are the only ones here?"
Tav M: "You not like it, sir?"
Rourk: "Please, go right ahead. You may feel free to bilk my inebriated servant out of whatever you wish."
Razuli: "SERVENT?! I'll hav yu k-no I am a DRAGULSLIPPER!"
Rourk: "Mercenary, do not breathe on me again."
Razuli: "I castraded a dragon! Whoopee!"
Rourk: "Rather difficult to do with a female dragon."
Razuli: "Oh. Gess it yelled for 'nother reason. Ha ha HA ha hA!!"
Tav M: "Care to have a drink on it sir? 15 gold."
Razuli: "I CANN BEET UP-PTHH ANYBLOODY IN THISH BARR!!"
Tav M: "Should I put him to bed, Sir?"
Rourk: "No, good fellow. His antics are amusing."
Razuli: "I CUN BEET UP U!"
Rourk: "I'll wager that stag head is shaking in it's mountings."
Razuli: "Bedder be. I'm a DRAGOHMSTIFFER! Tink i'll drink to dat."
Tav M: "Here you go. That'll be 25 gold."
Razuli: "Shanks. Yur a good fella. Do u k-no what I did?"
Rourk: "Yes. Soiled your armor."
Razuli: "Beside that. I.... am a DRAGIMSPLAYER! I'm a buff dude!"
Tav M: "Yeah, great. You sound like you could use a drink."
Razuli: "No phanks, I'm walking! Hee hee heh he HEE HeE hEE hEe heE" (THUD)
Rourk: "I suppose you may put him up now. And also, remember those who do the title Dragonslayer it's proper office."
Tav M: "I'll try, Sir. Good night."
Dania returned to her master's house after her own rest, with the idea of some more studying (We were all pretty sure we had gotten enough experience to go up a level from killing the Dragon.) She went into the house, and was taken to his workroom, where she saw the brain suspended in some bubbling golden fluid, with wires attached to it.
Master: "Welcome, apprentice. You have done well."
Dania: "Thanks. I thought you might like it."
Master: "Did you, now? You presume to know my mind?"
Dania: "No! No, never, Master! It's just that these aren't, uh... common."
Master: "Hmph. Ah, well. It was good you found one within range. Was it living out in the swamps?"
Dania: "Yes, it was."
Master: "Getting one this recently dead is a rare thing. Although your excision shows you have little skill in handling a knife. In the future, you are to concentrate on improving that."
Dania: "No problem."
Master: "You may go now. Clean the laboratory on the first floor. And have care to get under the tables."
Dania: "Yes. Bye!" (Scampers off.)
Things went on in this vein until the next day, when, with a shriek like that made by a tachyon being violated by a meson, Dania was suddenly drawn into the Master's workroom. The brain still floated in it's tank, everything seemed normal, but with a glance she could tell Master was angry - VERY angry, but about what she didn't know.
Master: "You, and your friends: where exactly did you get this?"
Dania: "Uh... from a Dragon. In the swamp. In a cave."
Master: "Was it, by any SMALL chance, a Red Dragon named Lentic?"
Dania: "Uh, we weren't, uh... introduced."
Master: "No. You simply went up and beat on it, didn't you, with swords and things? Yes, I see. And liberated Them through sheer clumsiness!"
Dania: "Them? You mean those idiots?"
Master: "Yes. Those idiots. Observe, prestidigitator."
A basalt slab which had been on one wall cleared, and Dania saw The Three standing outside the house.
Paladin 1: "Right! Here we go, now!"
Paladin 3: "I'm gonna kill him! Dibs!"
Three swords rose up, and three swords came down, smashing the outside wall to splinters of foul-looking wood. The Three entered, and arrogantly walked down the hall outside the first floor library, and into a hall Dania had been told never to enter. After about 10 feet or so, a pit opened beneath their feet, and they fell into a pool of acid. They quickly dissolved, and the liquid was siphoned off and poured into a Sphere of Annihilation, gone forever.
Dania: "Well, that took care of it."
Master: "Wait..."
The swords had not dissolved, but instead sank to the bottom. As they watched, they rose up into the air, and The Three re-formed out of shining mist.
Dania: "Shit!"
Paladin 2: "Say, why don't we try a different approach?"
Paladin 3: "Yeah, I'm sick of traps. They're boring."
Paladin 1: "Right, then. Lets go back, and get the heavy artillery."
Paladin 3: "YEAH! He'll never know what hit him!" (Cackles in a most un-Paladinish fashion.)
Master: (*Sigh*) "Do you have any IDEA how much trouble it was to get them into the globe in the first place?"
Dania: "Lots?"
Master: "Apprentice, there is one thing you can do."
Dania: "What is it, Master?"
Master: "Say, `oops.'"
Dania: "Oops?"
Master: "Yes, very good. Wonderful last words." (Makes an arcane gesture...)
VVV VVV AAA DDDDDD AAA BBBBBB LLL AAA MMM MMM !!!
VVV VVV AAAAA DDDDDDDD AAAAA BBBBBBBB LLL AAAAA MMM MMM !!!
VVV VVV AAA AAA DDD DDD AAA AAA BBB BBB LLL AAA AAA MMMM MMMM !!!
VVV VVV AAA AAA DDD DDD AAA AAA BBBBBBB LLL AAA AAA MMMMMMMMM !!!
VVVVV AAAAAAA DDD DDD AAAAAAA BBB BBB LLL AAAAAAA MMM M MMM !!!
VVV AAA AAA DDDDDDDD AAA AAA BBBBBBBB LLL AAA AAA MMM MMM
V AAA AAA DDDDDD AAA AAA BBBBBB LLLLLLL AAA AAA MMM MMM !!!
Game Master: The whole house shakes. Your Master, who never got a chance to
complete his spell, is sprawled on the floor. You have been
thrown conveniently near an exit.
Dania: (Runs.)
Dania dived out of a window and landed in the street. Everywhere, there were explosions and concussions and flying bits of building. She got up to run, when she ran into one of the paladins.
Paladin 2: "Hold, vile... wait a moment! You look slightly familiar."
Dania: "Uh, it's me! The damsel in distress, remember?"
Paladin 2: "Oh, a damsel in distress! You must be a maiden princess held captive by that nefarious sorcerer! Oh, how romantic! Fear not, gentle dove! I shall save you, and bring justice to your cruel oppressors! AVENGE your honor! Return you to your pining family who even now search for you everywhere! GOD, THIS IS THE LIFE!!"
Dania: "Uh, right. What's THAT thing?"
Paladin 2: "This? But a Surface-to-Air Missile launcher. But hold! My companions call to me! The evil magician is gone, having fled his chambers of power, to power to other chambers, no doubt! We must pursue him wherever he goes, for that is our destiny!"
(The streets light up as a missile tears open a hole in a nearby house.)
Paladin 2: "Oops! Oh, well. It is nothing next to the banishing of evil."
Dania: "Uh, thank you for rescuing me, kind sir, I believe I'll go someplace and hide right now, bye!" (Flees)
(Passes Rourk and Navero, who are coming to see what is going on.)
Dania: "JUST RUN, YOU IDIOTS!!"
(Navero and Rourk look up the street, and see an M-1 tank rolling towards them, blasting out buildings. They run.)
Somehow, after a good deal of running around and screaming, the party managed to assemble itself outside the tavern. We all went inside, and saw a very familiar looking town official and about 15 town guardsmen. They were talking to the tavern master, and didn't seem to notice us, so we decided not to disturb them, just go upstairs and get the money and stuff we left up in our rooms...
Official: "*!)> YOU!!! <(!*"
Party: "us?"
Official: "GET. OVER. HERE. AND. HAVE. A. SEAT. IF. YOU. PLEASE."
The guardsmen all looked rather peeved, and didn't seem to like us. We sat.
Official: "Would any of you just HAPPEN to know anything about THREE PALADINS who are wandering our streets committing mayhem?"
Dania: "Us? Oh, no no no."
Razuli: "What a silly question! What have you been smoking?"
Navero: "Uh, *ow!*" (Dania drives her staff into his foot.)
Guard 1: "Why won' yu le' 'im speak, yur li'l wizzerdship?"
Official: "Never mind. I think you do know. But I realize that it probably isn't your fault they are here. I have heard of The Three; they are as powerful as they are stupid, and not to be swayed by any mortal's wishes. Nothing stops them, not even common sense. Probably just an acquaintance, brief and fleeting, as I doubt you have much to do with such cosmic beings. As such, there is very little we can legally do to you."
Guard 2: "How about, `illegally', your Lordship?
Official: "We do not do such things. Is any of what I have said true?"
Razuli: "Well..."
Dania: "Yes, it is. We met them in the Dragon's cave, and we parted company immediately afterwards."
Rourk: "We have, easily, as low an opinion of them as you yourself seem to."
Official: "Good." (Brings out some papers.) "So, you are the closest living thing to a Friend they have, and so can be considered next-of-kin, which of course makes you liable for any damages they do."
Dania: "WHAT?!?"
Official: "Naturally, we have already confiscated those goods of yours we found on the premises, and you will be expected to remain here and do community service work until the debt is paid, in full, with interest as applies. Guards?"
The conversation degenerated after that. Kortul kicked the official in the groin and threw the table into the guards; Dania cast a Sleep spell into the main mass and dived out the window. Arlor dived out after her. Razuli decided that would be a good idea, too. Kortul went to keep them company.
Dania: "WILL YOU ALL GET OFF OF ME!!"
Arlor: "Sorry." (Thump!)
Kortul: (Runs for stables.)
Razuli: "Arlor! Get a good look up her robe?"
Dania: "Fuck off, Razuli."
Arlor: "Actually, I did..."
Dania: "AAHHH!!!" (Tries to kill Arlor with her staff.)
Kortul: (Brings out horses.) "LETS GO!"
Dania: (snarls) "When I get my hands on you..."
Razuli: "You'll what, show him some more?"
(Meanwhile, back inside...)
Navero: (Hiding under a table.)
Rourk: "Ha! If you think that I would surrender to" *CLANG!* (Chair comes down on his helmet.) "... right. Priest! Lets be off!"
Navero: "Uh, I'm sorry, but I think we must be going. Your request is unjust and unreasonable.
Official: "stop them!"
(Navero makes it out the door, Guards right behind him. Rest of party rides around, Dania Sleeps more Guards. Rourk jumps onto his horse. Navero climbs onto his horse. Guardsmen on horses arrive and start chasing the group.)
Horseman: "Halt, in the name of law and order!"
Navero: "Faster, Kumquat!"
Arlor: "You named your horse Kumquat?"
Navero: "Well... he's the right color."
Dania: "That's a mare, Nav."
Navero: "A what?"
... And so, our heroes rode off into the sunset, pursued by the local law enforcement authorities. Eventually, as the sounds of distant explosions became only a fading memory, we bravely set forth to see what the next town would be like.
Dan Parsons
"I've never been chased by the police before! Gee, this is kind of exciting!"
