Navero 32
From rec.games.frp Mon Mar 5 21:47:23 1990 Path: uci-ics!orion.oac.uci.edu!usc!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!jarthur!dparsons From: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XXXII Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Message-ID: <4833@jarthur.Claremont.EDU> Date: 6 Mar 90 04:53:22 GMT Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711 Lines: 332
The Hag cackled, and rolled her eyes, and generally looked most unpleasant. Dania stared at where her missile had fizzled out. Navero hyperventilated. Kortul lay there and bled. Things looked grim.
- Navero, male human cleric, 4th level
- Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 4th level
- Kortul, male human fighter, 4th level
- Razuli, male human fighter, 4th level
- Arlor, male dwarf thief, 4th level
- Kory, male elf bard, 3rd level
- Topash, male elf druid, 3rd level
- Meth, male ? thief, 3rd level
(A few notes on Meth Crystal are in order, concerning what little we knew of his background. His race can at best be described as uncertain; he is about 1/4 Human, 1/4 Orc, 1/4 Elf, 1/4 Drow, and has several other things mixed in including Hobgoblin, Bullywug, and Lesser Demon. He is the final product of at least two generations of rape. We also know that Meth Crystal was not his real name, but we didn't pry into such matters.)
N Hag: "How very unkind of you to kill all of my playthings. Now I'll have to take one of you to satisfy my appetites. Pity he doesn't have more evil tendencies to him; just meat."
Kory: "Yeesh, what an ugly bitch! She's ALMOST enough to make me swear off sex forever. If it were not for the presence of..."
Dania: "Shut up. Uh, we'd really rather not loose Kortul, here, uh, we have some traveling rations...?"
N Hag: "Dearest, you of all should know what appetites I'm talking about."
(*BLAM!!* Whole party gets blasted by flames from the floor. We all dive out of the corridor into the slimy room with the hag.)
Meth: "Dearest Magic-usurer, get a clue, will you?"
Navero: "By the Lords of The Correct and Unalterable Way, GO AWAY!!"
N Hag: "Ah, what a darling little priestling. Come here, sweetcheeks." (Backhands Navero across the room into a wall.)
Kory: "Ho ha ha guard turn parry spin thrust!" (Sword glances off Night Hag.)
Dania: "AAAHHHH!!!" (Uses Staff of Thunder and Lighting to blast the Night Hag. Razuli gets part of lightning bolt, Night Hag the other part.)
Razuli: "OW!! JEZUS-FUCKIN' CHRIST!!! Watch it, you stupid bitch!!"
Topash: "A word to the un-wise, dear magic-user: the destructive magiks you specialize in would not be to our advantage in such close quarters. I suggest that you restrain your more destructive impulses."
Dania: "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. KILL IT!!"
Navero: (Slips in the slime and falls on Razuli.)
Meth: (Looks on in a bemused sort of way.)
Razuli: "Kid, just go wake Kortul up." (Shoves Navero in the appropriate direction. Hacks at the Night Hag, sword bounces off.)
Topash: "I am Topash Raycin of the Green Brotherhood! Your presence here is a disruption of the world! You must leave!" (Slips in the slime and falls on his rear.)
N Hag: "Oh, I wouldn't want your mean little lives to get dull, now. I am quite amused by your little antics. But duty calls and I must be elsewhere, so I trust you can find your own way out." (Disappears)
Kory: "Well! We scared her off! Did your robe fall open, Dania? Why don't we all go downstairs and find a way into the cellar, and leave our most charming hostess to whatever she wants to do. How's Kortul?"
Kortul: (Groans)
Kory: "Oh, wonderful indeed. Now..."
Dania: "Shut up. What's beyond that door?"
Meth: "Beyond the green door..."
Navero: "Huh? It's not green."
Kory: "You're not thinking of staying up here, are you?"
Dania: "The lightning did hurt her. I know I can kill her if the rest of you will just keep her off of me."
Razuli: "Oh, christ. Magic-user, the lighting didn't do nothin' to HER. And if you wanna start waving that fuckin' thing around again, you an' me are gonna have to have a little discussion about it."
Navero: "We must send this thing back where it belongs. It isn't a her at all, it's an IT. It doesn't belong, and we must send it back."
Dania: "Right. Besides, think of all the magic shit it will have stowed away somewhere."
Topash: "Ah, the power of greed. What a wonderful motivation. It should be quite obvious that the Hag is guarding the bloodstone. As such, it will interfere with all of our efforts. We must either leave now in failure, or find some way to defeat it."
Kory: "When did you get so concerned about all that? Why don't we just go downstairs and look for a stairway into the cellar? It's really simple to do, and we won't bleed NEARLY as much!"
Kortul: "Where's ugly bitch?"
Kory: "She's right here, like usual."
Topash: "We believe it is somewhere on the second floor."
Kortul: "Fine." (Walks through the door the Hag came in through.)
Kory: "I'm beginning to think the decision-making elements are getting just a WEE bit localized here."
Razuli: "Ah, fuck it. C'mon." (Walks through door.)
(Navero and Dania also walk through door.)
Topash: "Shall we?"
Kory: "Why do I have to put up with this? Gods, this place is depressing, and nobody around here knows how to have FUN. What good is being alive if you don't enjoy it? Demons and Dragons come and go; you can't just spend all your days WORRYING about them or you'll never get anything outa life. Gods, this is fucked."
We crept down the hallway. The first door, on the south side of the hall, opened into a small closet. There were several shelves, and some jars and bottles; most were sealed. A few brooms sat in the corner, and there was a bucket against the back wall. A sweep for magic showed that a few of the jars and one bottle contained magical substances; these were unlabeled except for one which said, "Add water for full potency." Inside was an ugly brownish-black powder whose smell stung the nose quite strongly. We sealed the jar and Dania stuck it in her backpack, along with a bottle blue liquid, and a jar with a whitish ointment. Navero said the ointment looked like Keoughtum's Ointment, a healing remedy.
The second doorway was on the north wall. It had another stairway leading up. At the top, we could see it opened out onto what was presumably the roof. We went up and looked around. The roof was somewhat weak, and had collapsed in a few places, and might not hold up under fighting. The battlements were mostly intact, except on the breached eastern wall.
(*Bamf!*)
N Hag: "I thought I tol"
Kortul: "HAAAAHHHH!!!" (Attacks with Sun Sword, chops small gash in its side)
Dania: "KortulGetThe%#(@!*#*!AwaySoICanKillTheFuckingBitch!!" (Casts Magic Missile, they fizzle out.)
Navero: (chants)
N Hag: "Dear, oh dear." (Smashes Kortul back downstairs.)
Meth: "I say, this isn't going at all well."
Kory: "Oh, fun! Nice knowing you all. Oh, we will all go together when we go, All consumed in a radioactive glow..."
Topash: (Scimitar bounces off Hag.) "What a heart-warming thought."
N Hag: "Oh, you found the broom closet. You really shouldn't muck with my cleansing powders." (Gestures.)
Dania: "Urk!" (Her backpack suddenly becomes very heavy, as a load of water appears within. A horrible brownish-black goo starts foaming out, dissolving it's way through the leather. Dania takes acid damage.)
Navero: "Yuck! Get away!" (Rips Dania's pack off, Cures Light on her back.)
Kortul: (Charges back upstairs)
Kory: "Hey, bitch! I feel lucky!" (Charges in with luck blade, wounds Hag.)
N Hag: "You are all beginning to annoy me very much!"
Meth: "So relax." (Tosses 3000 milligrams of LSD into her mouth.)
She swallowed.
Topash: "Ah, Acid?"
"Acid??"
Meth: "Acid??" "And what would you know about such things?"
"Acid??"
Topash: "I have heard of them, although my brethren prefer the more natural products. They are used to contact higher powers."
Meth: "I see! Well! I'll have to visit you all sometime!"
Navero: "How do you get your voice to come from three different directions like that?"
Dania: "*&#%@#!*$!" (Hits Hag with Lightning from staff. It does nothing.)
Kortul: (Chops Hag.)
N Hag: "YOU... YER... YOW.... YEEK!"
Topash: "Ah, very fast."
Meth: "I only use the best myself."
Dania: "Fine! Great! Now KILL IT!!"
Kory: (Rolling around laughing.)
Kortul: (BashSmashHackCutDestroyMaimSlaughterIrritateIrkVexAnnoy. He realizes that he is not making much of an impression.)
Kory: "Mister Cryster, SIR! You and I are going to get along FAMOUSLY! At last someone around here has some appreciation for the necessities of life! My hat is off to you! Now lets go gang bang Dania."
Meth: "Eeuw, her? I dunno about that..."
Topash: "Children..."
Kory: "C'mon. She's female and she's here."
Meth: "You could say the same thing about the Night Hag, you know."
N Hag: "No my Master, WHA..!" (unintelligible screaming)
Dania: "WILL YOU IDIOTS BE SERIOUS!! Get over here now!!"
Meth: "Oh, lighten up. She'll be flying for days."
Kortul: (Drags the Hag to the battlements and heaves it over, head down. Screaming, the Hag drops into the night and lands with a thud. After, all is silent.)
Dania: "Good! Very good! Is it dead NOW?!"
Kortul: "Why not you go and look?"
Dania: (snarl) "It damn well better be, or I'm gonna..."
Meth: "You're gonna WHAT? You know, I didn't see you having any wonderful ideas. You just ran around and screamed at everyone, which is, I must say, highly inconsiderate of you."
Kory: "Indeed. Dania, you take life so SERIOUSLY. That's really bad for you. When you live as long as we do, you just can't AFFORD to take life that seriously, or it just gets too boring to live. You were raised among humans, weren't you?"
Dania: "Leave my fucking parents out of this and listen, you stupid pointy-eared flit: If you weren't an elf I'd fry you. I would."
Razuli: "What about me, yer wizzerdship?"
Dania: "SHUT UP!! All of you!! Now, lets get the +&*!&#%! downstairs, find the #&%!@! bloodstone, and get the HELL out of here!!" (Tromps downstairs in a furious huff.)
(Rest of party pauses.)
Navero: "Why does Dania always get so angry all the time? I thought some of the jokes you make sometimes are kind of funny."
Razuli: "Oh, forget it. She can't take a joke."
Kortul: (Goes downstairs.)
Navero: "I do wish that you wouldn't say so many mean things about her. She's a nice person. At least she's nice to me."
Kory: "Yeah, yeah, Nav. She's just... she doesn't know how to deal with anything. Too uptight."
Topash: "She does seem almost driven at times. And I do think it would be a good idea if you two... no, you THREE were to stop goading her. Everything would go much better for all concerned."
Meth: "Well, I have no problem staying as far away from that little witch as possible. She just does not seem like my type at all."
Kory: "I like to think of it as a great challenge. Surely there must be a fun-loving person somewhere in there. But for now, lets lay off and let her cool down."
(Downstairs...)
Dania: "Where the hell are they?!?"
Kortul: "Talking. Down soon."
Dania: "And you came down to protect me? How fucking sweet; I didn't know you cared. Look, I don't need YOU to protect me. I can take any one of you out, anytime. Any TWO of you."
Kortul: "No one goes anywhere alone. And Calm Down, elf. Tease because you make it easy."
Dania: "God, I know. I hate losing my temper. I wish it didn't happen, but they are so fucking IRRITATING!"
Kortul: "Never bigger than things that get you mad. Don't listen to them."
Dania: (grumbles) "Why the fuck did I have to get into this bunch?"
Kortul: "Often wonder too. Live with it or leave."
Dania: "Hmph."
Kory: (Comes downstairs) "OK, we're back! Any treasure?"
Dania: "Fuck you."
Kory: "That, dear... Shall we go on?"
Kortul: "Yes." (Stomps down hallway.)
Navero: "I went through your pack and got what I could. The magic bottle and jar were safe, and some other things. And Razuli gave me one of his tunics so you can cover the big hole on your, uh, backside."
Dania: "WHAT!! AAHHHH!!!"
Dan Parsons
"At least you weren't holding the jar under your chin."
