Navero 39

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From rec.games.frp Mon May  7 10:42:18 1990
Path: uci-ics!jarthur!dparsons
From: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp
Subject: Navero XXXIX
Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way
Message-ID: <7027@jarthur.Claremont.EDU>
Date: 7 May 90 11:05:57 GMT
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711
Lines: 433


Razuli and Kory quickly found their way back to the Inn of the First Son, but were nonetheless quite sobered up when they arrived. It was late at night, so several party members were on hand to hear the distressing news that Those Who Were More Than Two And Less Than Four had returned, angry with the party and with everyone in general. Obviously, something drastic would have to be done about the situation.

  • Navero, male human cleric, 5th level
  • Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 4th level
  • Kortul, male human fighter, 5th level
  • Razuli, male human fighter, 5th level
  • Kory, male elf bard, 4th level
  • Topash, male elf druid, 4th level
  • Meth, male ? thief, 3rd level

Dania: "They're HERE?!?!?"

Razuli: "Yep. Here and talking 'bout ridding the world of this nest of evil."

Dania: "WHAT nest of evil?! This is an ordinary city!"

Meth: "Where else would you find a nest of evil?"

(Explosion in the distance.)

Dania: "Aww.... Find Navero! Find Kortul! Get everybody and lets get out of here before all hell breaks loose!"

Kory: (Watching out door, as many many guards approach rapidly) "I think we might be a little late on that, dearie."

Meth: "I think I'll just go out this way..." (Drifts towards back windows)

(Rest of party runs Meth over running towards back windows.)

Dania: "Get the horses! Get everybody's! Wait, get better ones if you can! SHIT! We left stuff in our rooms, Meth, climb up and get it!"

Meth: "You stepped on my foot, magic-user..."

Dania: "Will you DO it!"

Kory: "Dania, Dania, don't panic. If anything attracts attention its small blonde magic-users having a fit. I'll go!" (Climbs fire escape.)

Razuli: "This inn has a fire escape?"

(Explosion in the distance.)

Stable Boy: "Hey, what are you doin' down here?"

Dania: (Clobbers stable boy over the head with her staff.)

Kory: (Moves from room to room, throwing packs and bundles and stuff out of the windows. Razuli and Meth catch and throw in saddlebags, while Dania picks out and saddles the seven best horses.)

Topash: "Oh, hello, I was just..."

Razuli: "Pack that!" (Throws saddlebag into Topash's face.)

Topash: "Ah, let me guess: was it the governor, or his wife?"

Dania: "Worse! Hurry!"

Kory: "Ahh!" (Guardsmen burst into room.)

Lieutenant: "Aha! Men, get around the back! I'll take care of this one!"

Kory: "Like hell you will! Bye!" (Jumps out window.)

Dania: "Get on! Forget your fucking pack and MOVE!"

Razuli: "Awright, already! Jeezus!"

(Guardsmen come running around the corner, are nearly rode down as Dania charges off into the night. The others follow, hanging on to their various possessions as they go.)

(Explosion in the distance.)

Razuli: "See ya, sucoooOOMPH!!" (A pike is swung into his path, and he is knocked from his saddle to the ground.)

Guards: "Keep him down! Get the others!" (Several guards sit on Razuli, who has the wind knocked out of him and is putting up a rather feeble fight.)

Kory: "SHIT! Magic-user, get back here!"

(Dania is already halfway down the street by now. Explosion in the distance.)

Lieutenant: "Brown, to the rear! Melling, Scord front!"

(Two guards leap in front of Kory's horse, waving their spears and frightening it. It bucks, then Kory is knocked off by the one who went behind him.)

Topash: (To horse) "Forgive me, but it is for us now." (Rides in and grabs Kory.)

Razuli: "Hey!"

Guards: (Rush Topash, bringing their long weapons to bear.)

(Explosion in the distance.)

Dania: "GET OUT OF THERE!!"

Topash: (rides out.)

Kory: "We'll get you! Hang in there!"

Razuli: "aw, fuck you."

Lieutenant: "Ha! Rogers! Get the mounteds out of bed! You there, haul that one to the Kings Street square! The rest, come with me!"

(Razuli is disarmed, knocked about a bit, and hauled off.)

Dania: (Riding towards religious area.) "Fuck it, you lost a horse!"

(Explosion in the distance.)

Kory: "A horse! We goddamn lost a party member!"

Dania: "I know, I know! Where will they take him?"

Topash: "Given the chaotic situation, who knows where justice will be dealt?"

Meth: "I'd bet they wouldn't take him anyplace public. There's probably a real ugly mob scene developing right now."

Kory: "And we were seen with those assholes... Knowing penis-breath he WILL take him someplace public. Head for the nearest square!"

(Elsewhere...)

Kortul: (Sees an M-1 tank go past.) That thing looked very familiar...

* * B O O M ! * *

Kortul: Oh, I remember now. (Runs back towards the inn.)

(Elsewhere...)

Navero: "Father, why is the ground shaking so much? Master Jorotspur didn't predict any such thing for today."

Priest: "I realize that... It must be something else... Wait! Three souls are at the base of it, but their intentions are unclear... their spirits appear so white as to actually be BLACK in action... Blind and blinding... and they bring strange devices with them... (Navero sneaks off) strange and destructive things unaffected by magical powers, indeed nearly invisible to them... and they... Oh! OH! It's THEM! Acolyte! Get back here! Where are you!?"

(Navero runs out of the temple and back towards the inn.)

(Elsewhere...)

Razuli: Hey, waitaminute... GRONK!

Gronk: Gronk

Razuli: Gronk! Come rescue me! Good boy!

(Explosion in the distance.)

Gronk: ...

Razuli: Follow the ring! Come here!

Gronk: Gronk! (Runs out of stables, starts running after Razuli.)

Kortul: (Razuli's Gronk runs past, amid general hubbub.) Hmm... (Follows.)

Razuli: (Is carried into square by guardsmen. A large mob has gathered.)

        "They blew up my 'ouse!"        "They killed my daughter!"
"They took a buzz-saw to my husband!"     "Their beast tore up the cemetery!"
     "They trompled through my petunias!"        "Hey, wasn't HE with 'em?"

(Large angry mob suddenly focuses all of its attention on Razuli.)

Razuli: aw, shit. GRONK!!

Gronk: Gronk! (Speeds up.)

Peasant: "Evenin', officers and friends. Would you happen to be takin' this one to justice, then?"

Guard: "We were, Bill, unless you think somethin' else ought to be done."

Razuli: "He doesn't!" (Is clobbered by Guard again.)

(Explosion in the distance.)

Guard: "He do have a mouth in him, which I get kind of tired of."

Razuli: GRONK!!!

Gronk: Gronk!

Peasant: "Well, seein' as how things are, perhaps we could take him off your hands and let you get on with some more important matters."

Razuli: GRONK!!!

Gronk: Gronk, already!

(Elsewhere...)

Navero: (Steps out of an alley, is almost run over by a horse.) "Ahh!!"

Dania: "Navero! Get on a horse, we're getting out of here!"

Navero: "Where's my horse?"

Dania: "These are better!"

Navero: "Where's Kumquat?"

(Explosion in the distance.)

Dania: "NAVERO!!! MOVE YOUR LITTLE <censored> <censored> AND <censored&rt; GET IT IN GEAR!!!!"

Navero: (Wordlessly climbs on one of the horses. It fidgets.)

Kory: "Have you seen Razuli anywhere?"

Navero: "No, but I thought I saw his Gronk running that way."

Dania: "Fine! We go that way! (Rides off)

Navero: "But it might not have been his... I mean they all look the same..."

(Explosion in the distance.)

Topash: "Navero, it may be our only chance of finding him. Shall we?"

Kory: "Yes! Here we come to save the day! Yee-HA!" (Rides off)

Meth: "I knew I should have just gotten stoned and stayed in bed today."

(Everyone else rides off after Kory. Except Navero. He does not have his accustomed gentle mare for a mount, but in fact a spirited stallion. It objects to his riding it, and Navero is not adept at calming horses. After some struggle, it gallops off in a random direction with Navero clinging to it like a sack of velcro.)

Navero: "STOP!!!"

(Elsewhere...)

Town Person 1: "What do we do with him?"

Town Person 2: "Hang him!"

Razuli: GRONK!!!

Gronk: Gronk! (Approaching the square)

Town Persons: "Boil him!" "Flay him!" "Chop his fingers off!" "Burn him slowly, starting with his balls!!"

Razuli: *** G R O N K ! ! ! ***

Gronk: Here.

(Explosion in the distance.)

Razuli: Get me outa here! Now! Somehow!!

Gronk: ...

Town Person 1: "String him up so he can't get away! Then we'll decide!"

(Razuli is dragged to a lamp post. A noose is put around his neck, and he is placed atop a tall rickety stool. The rope is pulled until he has to stand on tip-toe.)

Town Person 3: "I know! Lets play pinata! First to knock him off wins!"

Town Person 4: "Wins what? I'd rather watch 'im burn."

Razuli: Gronk, get OVER here! DO SOMETHING!!

Gronk: ... (Gronks are not known for their intelligence)

Kortul: (Walks up to the square, astutely notes Razuli's presence. Also notes over 100 blood-crazed citizens waving weapons. Pauses to ponder the ramifications of the situation.)

(Explosion in the distance.)

Priest: "Excuse me, I am a priest of Gothard. Can you tell me what's going on here?"

Kortul: (Considers how silly the situation has just gotten. Clobbers the priest over the head and moves towards Razuli.)

(Elsewhere...)

Dania: "Shit, he's not here! Navero! Shit, where's NAVERO!?!"

Kory: "Shit, I don't know, but somehow I am not surprised."

Topash: "My, a lot of fertilizer is being spread around here. Say, everyone is running that way. Why don't we follow them?"

Kory: "Excellent idea! CHAAAAARRGE!!"

(Elsewhere...)

Navero: "SLOW DOWN!! AAHHH!" (Gallops on a bucking horse into a square with over 100 blood-crazed citizens waving weapons.)

Town People: "Who is that?" "Get the reins!" "Gods, what an idiot..."

Razuli: "I pray for the first time in my whole life, and this is what I get. Fuck you, very much."

Gronk: Gronk?

Razuli: Gronk, get over here and bite through this rope!

Kortul: (Ducks into square and runs towards Razuli. Razuli doesn't see him.)

Gronk: (Ambling its way over to the rope, it's leg knocks the stool out from under Razuli.)

Razuli: GRONK!!! STAND TALL!!!!

Gronk: (Does so. Razuli is able to stick out one foot and plant it on the Gronk's nose. Is now hanging against lamp post, with just enough weight on the gronk not to break his neck.)

Navero: "Hey, Razuli! Go that way, horse!"

(Explosion in the distance. Horse decides that it's had enough of this and tramples a citizen.)

Razuli: "Glekkk..."

Gronk: Getting tired, master.

(Elsewhere...)

Topash: "Oh, the people were all running towards the nearest gate. I suppose they would, wouldn't they?"

Meth: "Look, who would stay?"

Dania: "Argh! OK, do we find them or run and hope they catch up?"

Kory: "We must find them! Don't abandon party members! Besides, think of all the wonderful opportunities we'll have to show our true mettle."

Topash: "I think we already showed much of our true mettle in creating this situation. But until we are placed in real danger, our comrades should not be abandoned."

Dania: "Right. Where?"

Topash: "At the center of all the chaos and disruption. Where else would one of our party members be?"

Meth: "You're more likely to find the Paladins there."

Kory: "So look for a minor pocket. There's bound to be one around here somewhere."

Dania: "Yea. Right. What if the guards spot us?"

Kory: "Oh, they're much to busy right now. So! (Rides off)
Off we go, into the wild blue yonder!
Off we ride, into the night!
Looking for, our id-i-ot friends,
And maybe, a very small fight!"

(Elsewhere...)

Kortul: (Draws sun sword, chops Razuli down.)

Razuli: Gasp!

Town Person: "Hey! Wha' tha hell you doin'! HEY!"

(Mob turns from Navero to Kortul. A sun sword draws attention nicely.)

Kortul: Shit... (Throws Razuli on Gronk.) "Run, idiot!"

Razuli: Go, Gronk... (Rides bumpily out of the square.)

Kortul: Hundred to one odds... could be worse. But not by much. (Runs. He is not a fast runner, unfortunately.)

Navero: "HORSE!! Stop it!!"

(Explosion in the distance. Horse becomes more cooperative. Navero is somehow able to guide it past Kortul slow enough for him to mount.)

Kortul: "That way!"

(They pass Razuli on the Gronk. Razuli is getting a very rough ride. Also cross paths with Dania.)

Dania: "NAVERO!! Where the fuck did you disappear to!"

Navero: "Uh..."

Kortul: "Wizzerd, SHUT UP! Out of town, NOW!"

Dania: "Where did..."

Mob: (Running up, waving torches and axes and clubs.) "KILL!!"

Kory: "That's my cue to depart! Bye!" (Rides off)

(Everyone follows.)

The (finally) combined party rode off, after a short pause to shift Navero to another horse. Razuli somehow acquired a horse of his own during the chaos, and we rode for the Propyla city gates. In the press of fleeing citizenry, accompanied by exploding buildings and screaming missiles, there would have been little any guard could have done to keep order, even if any were there. I'm sure they would have liked to get us, but there were other and more pressing demands on them. So we were able to put yet another town behind us and continue on the road to adventure.

Daniel Parsons

"Well, that's two capital cities. Third time lucky?"