Navero 53

With most of us feeling a great need for a rest, we elected to head north, to a largish city we'd never visited before. Serga asked why we wanted to go there if we'd never been there, and we had to explain that not having been there was a necessary condition for us. The poor fellow looked confused, but no one wanted to explain the Three Idiots.

The ride was quiet, and mostly uneventful, except for Dania trying to sidle up beside Kortul's horse and grab her staff back one time. There followed another spirited debate, employing the fine and objective reasoning that so typified our merry band of travelers, before Dania was banished to whichever half of the party Kortul was not occupying. Finally, with the day dying around us, we dragged into town just as they were closing the gates.

Guard 1: (Looks this scruffy bunch over dubiously.) "Your business in Silbishire?"

Kory: "Enhancing the local economy through infusion of liquid capital. With emphasis on liquid."

Kortul: "Rest."

Topash: "Yes, rest and relaxation. We're tourists."

Guard 1: (Looks even more dubious.)"

Guard 2: "Where's your Hawaiian shirts and funny knickerbockers?"

Topash: "It's a bit cold, and besides, it's the off-season."

Guard 2: (Looks at Guard 1 suspiciously.)

Serga: "Do you have an armorer in town? Mine is damaged."

Guard 1: (Looks back to rear of party.) "WHAT is THAT!?!"

Topash: "Oh, don't worry, he's house trained."

Guard 2: (Grips pike.) "I demand to know what you are doing trying to bring a GIANT into our city!"

Topash: "Serga is not a giant, he's a... dear friend of ours, and he's quite harmless."

Lao: "O honolabre haily one, what exactry ale you?"

Serga: "I'm very tired and my horse needs to rest."

Guard 1: "I don't doubt it!"

Dania: "Look, he's not gonna hurt anybody, or we'd know it already. He's been with us for a long time."

Navero: "Yes. As a follower of the True Path of the Correct and Unalterable Way, I can vouchsafe for our friend Serga's honorable and trustworthy nature, and assure you and the city you have been commissioned to safeguard that no harm will come of him."

Topash: "Quite so. You may take the word of Topash Raycin of the Green Path of Harmony was well. Serga is harmless."

Kory: "And if the word of Malcom Goldentongue means anything in this provincial and impoverished city, I will stake my reputation on it."

Dania: (Considers driving her staff into Kory's side, then realizes she doesn't have it any more. Grumbles.)

Guard 1: "Well..."

Serga: (Smiles and tries to look nice and harmless. He's very bad at it.)

Kortul: (Is beginning to look impatient.)

Guard 2: "Should we ask the sergeant?"

Guard 1: "He's with Fanny right now."

Guard 2: "Oh. Well..."

Kory: "Say, look at all those gold pieces in the snow down there."

Guard 1: "What?"

Kory: "Yeah, there must be ten or twelve of them, just lying in the snow. That must be a whole year's salary for two hard-working guards like you."

Guard 2: (Mouth starts watering.) "Um... I think I did lose my life's savings somewhere around here this afternoon."

Guard 1: "Yeah, yeah, I did too! Thanks for finding it for us!" (They both scramble to pick up the coinage.)

Kortul: (Snorts, then rides into the city.)

Guard 1: "Wait, wait! Sign this here registry first."

Kortul: (Puts large X in appropriate place.)

Topash: (To Kory) "You know, money has been called the greatest lubricant ever invented."

Kory: (Signs registry.) "Maybe, maybe, but I prefer KY."

Dania: "Nah, you can use Vaseline here just fine. We have Cure Disease spells, remember?"

Kory: "Oh, but of course! Silly me."

Navero: "What's KY?"

Kory: "One of the TI groups, Nav. They make a very fine brand of oil you can use for curing sword sheaths. Treat it with their stuff, and your sword slides right in, with no catching or chafing."

Navero: "Oh. That's nice."

Topash: "TI groups?"

Kory: "Two Initials, of course."

Dania: "Also known as QEB. Now let's get out of here."

Guard 1: (Finally makes it back to Serga with registry.) "Uh..."

Serga: (Takes registry, signs his name beautifully.) "Here you go."

Guard 1: "Uh, thanks! I didn't know you could... uh..."

Serga: "Don't worry, I'm used to it. And I read too." (Rides in after party.)

Guard 1: "That was bizarre."

Guard 2: "Boy, won't my wife be glad when she finds out I didn't lose my life's savings?"

Guard 1: "Why should she know about it?"

Guard 2: "Good point.

We found in inn, paid a few weeks rent on several rooms, and had a very productive and relaxing time of it. Navero found a branch of his order in town, and stayed with them. We also conspired to keep Dania's staff hidden away very nicely, in spite of her best efforts. Her persistence was impressive, though; at one point, Topash came in to find her ripping up the floorboards and looking underneath with a Dancing Lights spell. We also got in some training, and everyone had enough to go up a level.

• Navero, male human cleric, 6th level
• Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 5th level
• Kortul, male human fighter, 6th level
• Kory, male elf bard, 5th level
• Topash, male elf druid, 5th level
• Serga, male half-ogre fighter, 4th level
• Lao Tsu, male human monk, 4th level

(Some of us actually had more than enough; it had been a long time since we'd been able to stop for training. Our DM was kind enough to let us keep the points; I heard of a DM who insisted that if you go into training with more points than it took to get to the next level, the excess was lost. I'm not sure if that's kosher AD&D, but we hardly ever bothered with the rule books anyway.)

While we were in town, we made some inquiries as to the location of the Orb of Spheres. We had no idea what our time limit was, or how impatient immortal beings tend to be, but we all agreed it would be best to get this stupid quest out of the way as soon as possible.

Navero: "Excuse me, father?"

Abbot: "Yes, my son?"

Navero: "I hate to disturb you, and crave your patience in a matter of some importance."

Abbot: "Yes, my son?"

Navero: "I, and my traveling companions, have been on a quest, to seek an ancient relic called the Orb of Spheres. But so far, we have been unable to even locate it."

Abbot: "I have never heard of it."

Navero: "I believe it would be very important to the Order, father, to locate this artifact."

Abbot: "Oh, I am sure. We do prize our relics. But why this one in particular?"

Navero: "It is the object of the quest, father."

Abbot: "But you can go down to the market square and find relics by the hat-full for sale, and at very reasonable prices."

Navero: "But father... I know there are people hawking relics down in the marketplace. But surely, most of those are not real."

Abbot: "Is it important that they be real? Look here at this turkey leg. It's realness is very important, to me. But over in the reliquary, there is a fragment of the staff of St. Altheas, which when planted in the soil of Ben Barnim, sprouted leaves and holy fruit, thus marking the site of the first church."

Navero: "Yes, my own monastery has another fragment."

Abbot: "Yes. But if it were to be replaced by a splinter from this sideboard, who would know the difference?"

Navero: "The Lords would know! That would be the most terrible breach of the covenant of the Saints, whereby we keep their relics in our worship as we keep their words in our hearts."

Abbot: "Young man, you miss my point entirely. The Lords will not strike you down if you present the holy fathers with a lesser artifact, of great worth in and of itself. Here is a sprig of Bluewort, from the caves of Lord Kindoli, where every living thing grows in perfection. Surely, this is a fine relic, to be treasured greatly, and would no doubt be more than enough to satisfy your superior's every need."

Navero: "But father, those are just some nasturtium buds."

Abbot: "Then they are a sprig of nasturtium buds from the caves of Lord Kindoli, where every living thing grows in perfection. But what plant they are isn't important. What is important is the esteem with which they are held by the people."

Navero: "But anyone of the faith could look at them, and tell they were not holy relics."

Abbot: "My son, you do not understand. Holy relics are not for those with the faith. They do not need them. The display holy relics is to impress those who need to be impressed, those who follow, not those who lead."

Navero: "Father, I'm afraid I do understand. I have been placed on this path by the Gods themselves, not by my superiors at the monastery. And I am very surprised that you, who have advanced so high in the sight of the Lords that you are abbot of your own monastery, would speak so lightly of holy relics."

Abbot: "Boy, the holy relics are made holy because the people and the brothers believe in them. Do you think one saint could hold more holiness than all the brothers of the Way? If you put together all the fragments of St. Altheas's staff, you could build a church of your own! They can't all have come from one primordial walking stick, but who can tell the difference?"

Navero: "But what of the Lords, father? We are the followers of the Correct and Unalterable Way, and none of us lead, but only follow on the one true path. The Saints serve as our guides and our inspiration on that path. When you do not follow them, you are lost, and when you lead others astray, you are worse than lost!"

Abbot: "We are on the path, child, we are on the path. We have not strayed here. The words of the Saints ring in our ears as surely as they did when they were first uttered. Our spirit remains true. But the body, the body of the church must be maintained, and the body of the church is made of churches, and relics."

Navero: "Which is why they must be true relics. How could the Lords bear false relics in their houses?"

Abbot: "The Lords are more concerned with our good will, I am sure. The concerns of the body of the church are only important in so far as they uplift the spirit, are they not?"

Navero: "Well... yes."

Abbot: "The relics of the saints bring the people into the church, and show them the power of the Lords. But the Lords do not need this or that specific fragment of whatever for their power to work over the faithful. Are the Lords so limited?"

Navero: "No, but..."

Abbot: "Then whether you have a real saint's knucklebone or an old dead orc's won't make a bit of difference to them. The important thing is to have them, so the people come to your church, and worship the Lords, and make their donations to keep the body of the church strong and capable."

Navero: "But if the relics aren't real, aren't you just trying to trick the people? You shouldn't trick them onto the true path. The path is reason of its own, and the miracles that come to those who follow it."

Abbot: "Miracles? We have no miracles in our day."

Navero: "Miracles come to us every day. Only by the will of the Lords can we call forth the power to cure the sick and heal the hurts of those around us."

Abbot: "I haven't cast a prayer in years. Except for blessing the sacred ewer to make holy water and the sacramental wine. And I've never been able to taste a bit of difference."

Navero: "But a miracle happened to me, as I rode into town. Two of the guards at the gate had taken their life's savings out, and lost them that very afternoon. They were distraught, and stopped every traveler who came in the gate."

Abbot: "Aren't gate guards supposed to stop travelers?"

Navero: "They would not let my companions and I into the city, even though it was dark and cold, and dangerous outside of the gates. But suddenly, we all saw gold shining in the snow; it had not been there a moment before, I know. They were so filled with happiness, they let us into the city and asked nothing more of us than what their duty required them to."

Abbot: "Hmph. Yes, very nice. They kept their life's savings in gold, even though it amounted to only a few coins?"

Navero: "Well, yes. It is easier to keep than silver, as it does not tarnish, and is more easily kept hidden from thieves. My friends explained that to me afterwards."

Abbot: "Yes, very sensible. Is there any way I could meet your companions?"

Navero: "I asked my friend Dania to come visit, but she said she needed to stay and wash her hair."

Abbot: "Of course. Women must, you know."

Navero: (Nods.) "She washes her hair nearly every night."

(End of chapter.)

"So, Nav, did you ask him for a Divination?"

"No. I feared he might not agree."

"Because you're not from his order?"

"No. He might not be able to anymore."