SaveGame:StopTheGlitch!/Ame Uni

Changing Stats

• Coins: 5
• Hearts: [X] [2] [3]
  • -1 Heart due to level
• Lives: 3
• Items:

Aspects

• High Aspect: Cyborg Crystal Unicorn
• Trouble: Delicate as Spun Glass
• Aspect 1: Guzzler Brand Equine Mobility Armature: The first (and only) power up in Guardian of the Crystal Canyon, the six jet engines and powered exoskeleton of the GEMA allow Ame Uni to achieve incredible, uncontrollable speeds - at least until her crystal body begins to crack under the Gs.
• Aspect 2: Nuclear Diamond Reactor. Implanted in Ame Uni by the evil Guzzler Corporation to turn her into an item harvesting slave, the Diamond Nuclear Reactor shines brightly in Ame Uni's belly, providing enough glowing white power to turn on any doomsday device. It's unfortunate the way it tends to leak out whenever something cracks Ame's delicate body.
• Aspect 3: Thunder Lizard, Ecologist at Very Large. With the art assets for Ame's ally in the first scene of the game incomplete, it was decided to recycle art from parts of the game that had been chopped. The most complete of these was for a Brontosaurus boss battle. Thus was born Thunder Lizard, Ecologist at Very Large, Ame's best friend and dispenser of sage advice and property damage.

Skills

• Good (+3): Run
• Fair (+2): Jump, Item
• Average (+1): Spot, Chat, Sneak

Special Moves

• You Are What You Eat: The plants of the crystal canyon have an amazing number of explosive and dangerous properties, and while Ame Uni has left the canyon, her tastes in food still run towards Fire Flowers and Guzzler BOOST!(tm). Whatever digestion in the guts of a Cyborg Crystal Unicorn does to that, it's not... well, ok, it's actually very pretty. But it's not safe. Ame Uni can attack using Items skill.
• Just a jump to the left: Accustomed to incredibly dangerous runs on absurdly narrow ledges, Ame Uni gets +2 when using Jump to defend.
• The Only Way Through: Unbeatable. By slamming head on into an obstacle at flat out stupid speeds and reforming from the pieces of herself many screens away, once per scene Ame Uni may move up to two zones, automatically overcoming any obstacles or blocks that would oppose that movement.

Backstory

Ame Uni was once your normal, everyday crystaline Unicorn living in the explosives-based ecosystem of Crystal Canyons. Until one day, searching for something safer to eat than the local flora, she stumbled upon a harvesting operation of Guzzler(tm) Corp, world supplier of all things that store or consume ungodly amounts of unsafe energy, including many of the most popular energy drinks in Tendoria today. To Ame's amazement, a veritable feast had been laid out before her! Sampling the most choice and least explosive looking delicacies, Ame began to feel strangely tired...

When next she woke up, it was to a strange feeling of warmth in her stomach and a very large mouth full of somehow even larger teeth in her face. A lot of panicked screaming later, Thunder Lizard, Ecologist at Very Large!, managed to get Ame Uni to stop exploding long enough to explain what had happened to her. Ame Uni had been kidnapped and experimented on, implanted with a unique Diamond Nuclear Reactor to be used as the newest Guzzler(tm) Corp harvester. With the Diamond Nuclear Reactor, Ame Uni could power anything Guzzler(tm) Corp had ever built. Even beyond that, the unique diamond casing used to contain (mostly) the constant nuclear explosion in Ame's belly had interacted in strange ways with her own crystalline body, making it even more explosively fragile but, at the same time, pulling any lost parts back together anytime the delicate crystal unicorn was shattered. Well, mostly. A few unimportant bits always seemed to get left behind, but eat enough energy and Ame's just like new.

With Ame Uni under their control, Guzzler(tm) Corp would finally have been able to harvest the valuable and excitable denizens of Crystal Canyon! Thunder Lizard, Ecologist at Very Large! had rescued Ame Uni before the Guzzler(tm) Corp could brainwash her into their Guzzler(tm) Cola addicted slave, but he was too Large to escape Guzzler(tm) Corp HQ on his own. Only Ame Uni could escape, free Thunder Lizard, Ecologist at Very Large! and save Crystal Canyons.

Game Source

Guardian of Crystal Canyon.

A rushed, incoherant, and flat out unplayable (the second level can be beaten only by intentionally exploiting a respawning glitch) piece of shovelware, Guardian of the Crystal Canyon was supposed to be an epic competitor to the Sonic franchise aimed at young girls. Instead, it was dumped on the market as the company ran out of money, less than 1/3 the intended length, bug ridden and completely untested. It achieved 'success' only in youtube videos of it's utterly nonsensical plot, cobbled together with whatever art assets were available from pre-development by programmers left entirely without managerial oversight or restraint.

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