The World of Kung-Fu 4.3: Maniac Warrior Empire
Maniac Warrior Empire: The Hordes of Anarchy
“Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”—Maniac Warrior Empire motto.
More than any other group, the Maniac Warrior Empire is the face of crime and violence on American Streets. A loose affiliation of American criminal martial arts streets gangs, the empire has been steadily taking over territory from traditional, gun-using gangs, and threatens to reduce the entire country to anarchy. Far outnumbering the Five Venoms in America, the Empire is unable to overthrow them but is powerful enough to maintain the independence of its own turfs, although with constant skirmishes and battles.
Maniac Warrior Empire gangsters tend to train in styles regarded as effective by martial arts websites, avoiding traditional styles like Shaolin and Wing Chun in favor of the likes of Taekwondo, Karate 1, Jujutsu, Brazilian Jujutsu, Kick Boxing, Judo, Muay Thai, Jeet Kune Do, and Pentjak Silat, though there is a huge variety of styles adopted.2 Most fighters use a single style and are members of gangs that use that same style, but some are MMA fighters. Some gangs rely primarily on melee weapons, though the most dangerous ones understand the supremacy of unarmed fighting.
Gangs include: 8th Avenue Headpunchers, 22nd Street Taekwondo, 36 Lettuce-Fist , Aikido Murder Syndicate, Almighty Muay Thai Nation, Baseball Furies, Def Fist, Devil’s Hand Crime Family, Dog Style, Drunken Monkey Money, Gangster Pyro Ninjas, Horse Gangsters, Illinois Kickboxing Militia, Insane Jujutsu Assassins, Kick Killaz, Jumping Dragon Family, Kusarigama Reapers, Long Fist Locos, Judo Lords, Ninja Pirates, Notorious Karate Army, Red Lotus Crew, Rolling Nunchaku Mafia, Samurai Warrior Posse, Satan’s Cranes, Sex Money Kung Fu, and Taikomochi Kabuki Juggalos.
“A gentleman does not punch his friend in anger”—Confucius, Digressions, Warring States Period, 478 BC.
The Maniac Warrior Empire recruits widely and successfully, infiltrating martial arts schools as well as using traditional gang recruitment channels. Often, martial arts training is a gateway to the Maniac Warrior Empire, but it is also common for Empire gangs to recruit disaffected youths and then provide their own training. Most Empire gangs don’t allow member to quit, though in practice, most don’t have the resources to mount an effective hunt for someone who moves cities. The Maniac Warrior Empire has a huge reserve of footsoldiers—warriors who may not be Trained by a Master, but know enough Kung Fu to be dangerous. The Empire also has many supporters and sympathizers that are not themselves gangsters, but like to see the system being bucked, or are just fans of wanton violence.3
Maniac Warrior Empire Relations
Empire gangers hate the Vigilantes, with whom they are locked in an eternal war, one side fighting to rule the streets and the other to protect them. They are often less familiar with the Wulin, though in neighborhoods where the Wulin take them on, bitter hatred soon develops.4
The Maniac Warrior Empire and the Five Venoms are the two most powerful criminal organizations in the US, and so hate each other passionately. The Empire wants to see the Venoms driven from the USA, while the Venoms want to see the Empire destroyed. Wushu knows that it must one day destroy the Empire, but seems content to let it flourish for now, perhaps hoping that rampant crime will destabilize the American government and make it an easier target for infiltration and manipulation. The Empire, in turn, pays Wushu little attention. Empire gangs rarely know much about the Laughing Devils and so are often eager to ally with them if they can. The Devils see the naïve Empire as a potential source of lots of fun and anarchy.
Maniac Warrior Empire as Heroes
The classic Maniac Warrior Empire Hero is a gangster gone Vigilante. Once, they believed in nothing, or idealized the gangster lifestyle. But the brutality they witnessed made them wise up and join the good guys, and now they strive to make up for their past crimes by protecting the innocent from any who would harm them. Rogue Maniac Warrior Empire heroes are often rougher around the edges than other Vigilantes; less socially adept, quicker to lose their temper, and first to step over the line. On the other hand, they are also often the first to leap into a righteous fight or to volunteer for dangerous missions. Some ex-Maniacs overcompensate for past aggression by become extremely peaceful and gentle.5 Most have internal struggles between their bad guy and good guy instincts.
Footnotes
1. As evidenced, for instance, by Beetle Style’s song “Yesterday”, from Sergeant Pepper’s Martial Arts Club Band (1964).
Yesterday, when I was training my Bando Lethwei
I was attacked by guys with Karate. / I had a good time yesterday.
Why we came to blows I don’t know. They didn’t say.
I just hope they come back and attack like yesterday.
Similarly, from “Karate in the UK” by The Sex Dragons, on Never Mind the Buddha, Here’s the Sex Dragons (1975).
I am a warrior. I’m a Karateka.
I know what I want and I know how to get it. I wanna kiai a passerby.
‘Cause I want to be Karate. I’ll explode you with my ki!
Karate for the UK. It’s coming some time. It comes today.
I punch your car in the traffic line. Your future dream is a Wushu scheme.
And I want to be Karate. Everybody fear me!
2. The use of Chinese styles in gang activities is celebrated, for instance, in “Eight Drunken Fairies Style” by Little Crane with Doctor Hung, on Toes of a Gangster, 1993.
Dr. Hung: “Yeah. Hell yeah, Crane. Tell ‘em all about the motherfuckin’ Kung Fu!”
Little Crane: “Ain’t got no strap. Don’t need no gat.
Ima go Sonny Chiba on your Chow Yun Fat.
No, you don’t understand my chi. / I’m like a Ninja. You can’t see me. Where could I be?
No, you ain’t Bruce Lee. Cause that be me.
I’m Jacky Chan, Chuck Norris and - Van Damme, Sam Hung, Don Yen, Lao Tsu, wu wei!
Yeah. I’m Cindy Roth and Micky Yeoh. How do you like me now, motherfucker?
Come over here and I’ll / Use my toes to fix your smile.
The way I spin kick and I shin kick and I drink it makes me think it must be
Eight Drunken Fairies Style.”
Dr. Hung: “Why Crane? Why must we do what we do?”
Little Crane: “Cause me and my crew have got the Kung Fu!
Well the bodies start to pile and I kiai all the while.
When I kick it you can lick it it’s so sick it makes you suck my dick.
Eight Drunken Fairies Style.
I hit that bong like old Gāozōng. I’m strong, You wrong, Hong Kong all sing this song.
Eight Drunken Fairies Style.”
3.Consider the protagonist of Chen and Garfunkel’s “The Sounds of Violence” from Fuck the Police (1965).
Hello violence my old friend. / I can hear you once again.
I love to listen to the shrieking. / I love to hear civilians freaking.
As I lie here all snug inside my bed. / I rest my head / And listen to the sounds of violence.
In my dreams I’d love to be / A Kung Fu warrior like Bruce Lee.
I want to go out and be tough / But I’m scared of getting beaten up.
So I lie here and drift off to Kung Fu dreams / Amid the screams.
And listen to the sounds of violence.
4. As evidenced, for example, by Ming Prince’s 1983 song, “When Monks Die”, from Yellow Reign.
The mean city street ain’t no temple. / And they ain’t no place for Shaolin.
Buddha-boys let me keep this shit simple. / If I see you, you will get your bald heads punched in.
Buddhist Kung Fu is for suckers. / All that chi shit is a lie.
Gonna kill some devout motherfuckers.
This is what it sounds like when monks die. [Untranscribable sound]
The streets are all ruled by the gangsters. / Shaolin Kung Fu is too slow.
My whole family are street-fighting masters. / Maybe I’m just like my father: psycho!
Maybe I’m just like my mother. / No-one can beat her Muay Thai.
We killed my own Shaolin brother.
This is what it sounds like when monks die. [Untranscribable sound]
5. The rap-poem “Peace Out” is often attributed to a Maniac gone Vigilante.
Be sedate, motherfucker. / Relate, motherfucker.
Make sure you / take time to / meditate, motherfucker.
At ease, motherfucker. / The breeze, motherfucker.
The earth and the sky and the trees, motherfucker.
Just you, motherfucker. / And me, motherfucker.
Living together in peace, motherfucker.
