The World of Kung-Fu 4.4: Wushu

Wushu: The Totalitarian Oppressors

“Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the work of Wushu”—Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, British Intelligence, 1889.

Wushu is the most powerful organization in the world, devoted to taking complete authoritarian control over humanity, eliminating freedom and individuality. Their unfolding plots are millennia old, yet nobody is really sure who runs Wushu, why it exists, and what agenda is has, if any, beyond power for the sake of power. Even its own agents seem not to have any insight into the organization. They were all told the ideology and history of Wushu when they joined, but they were all told something different. Some Wushu agents thought they were fighting for freedom and equality, others for fascism, others for asceticism or animal rights or Buddhism, or for any number of other goals.

Wushu is highly hierarchical and bureaucratic, though nobody seems to know how the organization is structured or governed. Wushu outright controls the governments of most communist countries, including China and North Korea, and Wushu’s tentacles reach into every government and major corporation on Earth. Through its many fronts, Wushu owns over half of the money in the world. Wushu is generally blamed, rightly or wrongly, for humanity’s failure to recognize the true power of Kung Fu, despite constant demonstrations of Kung Fu’s effectiveness.

“Political power flows from the chi centers, out through the fists and feet.”—Mao Zedong, 1937.

For unknown reasons, probably to do with subliminal mind control, Wusha has been taking direct ownership of businesses with names beginning with “W” or “M” (an M being an upside-down W). Wushu holdings include Marlboro, MasterCard, Mazda, McDonalds, Mercedes-Benz, Microsoft, Mitsubishi, J.P. Morgan, MTV, Walmart, Wells Fargo, Wendy’s, White Wolf, and Wizards of the Coast. Have a look around your hometown for other businesses that are probably fronts for Wushu. Strangely, the Five Venoms are known to own Vodafone and Verizon.

It goes without saying that Wushu controls any kwoon that teaches Wushu Kung Fu, which includes many kwoons that claim to be teaching other Chinese martial arts. McDonald’s restaurants serve as local forts and always have Wushu agents and warriors on site, ready to respond to trouble.

Wushu makes extensive use of foot-soldiers. Some of these are low-level initiates using Wushu Kung Fu, but many are gangsters and other criminals hired through a front and have no idea who they are working for. Low-level initiates and inexperienced Wushu agents are either indoctrinated dupes, or fresh dupes in the process of being indoctrinated. Agents that work together or were trained together will generally have the same deluded beliefs about what Wushu is, does, and is committed to.

More experienced agents are aware that Wushu sells a thousand different ideologies as a recruitment tool. However, remarkably few leave the organization when they realize this. Many transform their previous ideological passions into loyalty to Wushu. Others just find that they like being a successful member of a powerful organization. Some convince themselves that Wushu genuinely serves the ideology they were first told it serves, and is only pretending to serve other ideologies in order to recruit the ignorant. It is forbidden to quit Wushu. Defectors will be hunted for the rest of their life by agents looking to recapture and recondition them.

“Last night I killed a Wushu agent in my pajamas. What the Wushu agent was doing in my pajamas, I’ll never know. I think my wife has been murdered and replaced with an imposter.”—anonymous.

Wushu agents are experts at infiltration, often with an extraordinary ability to pass as different sorts of people. This ability to imitate extends to their Kung Fu, which is to say that Wushu agents may be masters of any form of Kung Fu at all. While all train in Wushu Kung Fu, they may additionally be provided training in the Kung Fu of any other faction, including Shaolin Kung Fu, Wudang Kung Fu, and other closely-guarded styles. This includes the possibility of being Trained by a Master, with access to all cinematic skills, techniques, and perks.

Wushu Relations

Wushu needs to control everything and can tolerate no other powers in the world. In the long term, Wushu fights to exterminate every other faction, and to eliminate every form of martial art apart from Wushu Kung Fu. The Five Venoms understand this and fights to undermine Wushu, and in return, Wushu plots to destroy the Venoms. Likewise, Wushu seeks to wipe out the anarchic Laughing Devils, while the Devils ruin Wushu’s plans just for jun. On the other hand, Wushu is leaving the Maniac Warrior Empire alone for now, presumably in the hopes that it will destabilize the USA. The Empire does not realize what how great a threat Wushu really is, and ignores it to focus on local feuds and opportunities.

Wushu as Heroes

The classic reengage Wushu agent is a bitter idealist, wounded by the betrayal of an organization that promised them they were fighting on the side of all that is right. The ideologies of ex-Wushu agents come in all flavors, as the organization tailors its lies to what its recruits want to hear, but all ex-agents share a common horror at the realization that they have spent their life fighting against the very principles they thought they were fighting for. Mistrusted by the Wulin, ex-Wushu agents usually find home among the Vigilantes, from where they can strike back at the evil of Wushu.