Winter Nights
OOC: This was a small scenelet that I had in my head that probably comes from the first few days that we were dirtside on Boros. I'm probably going to do some kind of journal entry for perhaps just before we take off, as a contrast in mindset..... but I figured a twin moment would be nice. :)
"Nika! Nika, wake up!"
She jolted awake, jerking upright. Her breath was heavy, her chest was tight, and she was cold, sweat melding the borrowed nightgown to her lanky frame.
"Are you all right?"
Footsteps approached the bed she sat on slowly, and the side of the mattress depressed under the weight of the voice's owner.
Nala.
Trembling, she reached out in the darkness. Her twin took the outstretched hand and brought it to her own cheek, Nala's free arm gathering her close into a hug. Burying her face against her sister's shoulder, smelling the oh-so-familiar tang of laundry detergent and the scent uniquely Nala's own, Nika couldn't stop the sob from escaping.
"It's okay, baby," Nala whispered, her throat tight as she cradled her little sister. Sure, Nika was only the younger by 21 minutes. But at moments like this those 21 minutes felt like an eternity. There was nothing she could do to assuage the hurt. Nothing but be here like this in the night when Nika woke whimpering or sometimes almost voicelessly screaming -- possibly the most horrible sound she had ever heard in her life -- in the darkness.
Sucking in breaths almost violently, Nika pulled away. "Can't... breathe," she forced out raggedly. The panic attacks were the worst part of losing her eyes. Though she had managed to hide them from her crew (mostly by hiding away in the bedroom or the music room), she couldn't hide the nightmares from her twin.
"You can breathe," Nala soothed. "The stars are out tonight. When you look out the window, the rabbit constellation is just above the back pasture. The moon is nearly full, and the light on the snow is making it look almost like daytime out there. I saw some bobcat tracks near the east ridge two days ago. I think we have a mated pair up off the pass. We'll have to watch out -- come spring, they'll be looking to feed the kittens."
As Nala spoke, Nika focused on the sound of her voice, the cadence of it more than the information that was being conveyed. It didn't really matter what Nala talked about... but she was the only one who seemed to be able to talk Nika through the brutal feeling of being smothered to death in the darkness. Her heart rate began to slow and she was able to breathe more deeply, more freely.
"Larry and Gordie are taking a couple of the geldings up on the fence line this week. We're bedding down most of the herd in the Johannsen west fields so that we can look at maybe planting our north acres in the spring. We might be able to expand the herd." Nala kept talking, stroking Nika's shoulders gently until the muscles unknotted some. "Kev's excited. He gets his first pony this year," she told her twin.
Nika could hear the smile in Nala's voice, the pride. A pang of hurt flashed through her that she couldn't //see// her nephew, bringing a glisten of tears to her damaged eyes.
Nala kept talking, silently urging her sister up out of the damp bed and handing her dry clothing. As she chattered, she moved around the room, rustling material. Changing the sheets and the blanket. "Remember when dad got us our first ponies? I remember I was scared to death to climb up there, it looked so high. But not you. You clambered right on up there practically before he had a saddle on the thing," Nala said on a soft laugh.
Nika fumbled some as she moved toward the dresser. With her back to her sister, she stripped out of the wet clothes, listening to Nala talk. "I remember," she murmured. "They weren't that big. And I got right up there cuz I wanted first choice of ponies," she asserted with a faint smile.
"Is that what it was all about?" Nala asked in surprise, pausing in her movements. And then she laughed. "All these years and I didn't have a clue."
Nika chuckled as her head emerged from the neckline of the nightie. "I was just as scared as you, but I really really wanted the one with the blaze on her forehead." She shrugged. "I figured you were older, you'd get first choice if I didn't throw myself in there."
Nala sounded more than a little amused. "We'll never know, will we?" She smoothed her hand along the freshly made bed and turned to pad toward Nika. She stopped in front of her twin and asked gently, "You going to be able to sleep?"
Nika felt her sister's hand smooth down the long braid she wore to sleep. "Yeah," she whispered. "I'll be okay."
"I know you'll be okay," Nala replied softly. "It takes time, Nika. Everything takes time." She sighed softly, sadness coloring her features though her sister couldn't see it. "It's good to have you home." She just wished it wasn't like this.
Nika smiled a little and just nodded.
"You know this is still your home, right?" Nala wanted to be clear. "No matter what, this will always be your home, Nika."
Her throat closed up. Nika couldn't really think about staying here without thinking about never getting her eyes back. And she wasn't ready for that. Not without another panic attack. "I know," she said instead, a faint smile playing about her lips. "Where else would I go when crap hits the fan?"
Nala gave her sister a gentle shove. "Yeah... kinda figured," she joked softly. "C'mon... Kevin'll be up in a couple more hours. Let's get some sleep." She set Nika on course for the bed and let her find her own way. "See you in the morning," she murmured from the doorway.
As the door closed behind her sister -- without the telltale click of the light going off, she noted mentally. For all the good it would do her -- Nika sat on the edge of the bed nearest the window. Once she was sure Nala was gone, she stood and shuffled to the window, crossing her arms while she looked out. Her imagination and her memory were able to paint the picture of what she should be seeing.
A tear trickled down her cheek.
Go to Nika's Crew Page
Go to CREW or TIMELINE
Go to Mutineers
