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==Super Hero Manual== '''THE GOVERNMENT <br> DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE <br> BUREAU OF SUPERHEROICS''' <br> <br> <br> '''TO''': All Aspirants to Superheroes status <br> '''FROM''': Dr. Jane Loudermilk, Undersecretary of Superheroics <br> '''RE''': "The Government Manual for New Superheroes <br> <br> <br> ''Your Government wants you to succeed in whatever you choose to do (except if you choose to overthrow the Government). To this end, the Government publishes a series of guides to provide a Useful Information, such as "The Government Manual for New Homeowners" and "The Government Manual for New Motor Vehicle Operators" (but not "The Government Manual for New Overthrowers of the Government"). <br> <br> "The Government Manual for New Superheroes" will help you get started as a costumed crimefighter. Because it is meant to aid thebroadest possible audience, it has been written for those who do not have superpowers. That is, it is intended mostly for the moody millionaire industrialists, the crusading reporters, and the chipper young orphans who, according to the latest census figures, make up the larger part of the populace. It is less helful for the aliens, psychic prodigies, mythic gods, and mysterious dwellers of unseen realms who make up the rest. <br> <br> Herein you will find Indispensable Guidance regarding the many and varied options you must consider and actions you must take early on. A superhero cannot be a fence-sitter, after all. Even the late, legendary FENCESITTER or the MONUMENTAL GLACIER have taken action from time to time, albeit often in an untimely fashion. <br> <br> At the outset of your career arise some of the most difficult but potentially rewarding choices you will ever need to make: your name, first and formost. Will mention of your moniker give your foes fits, or giggles? Next: your costume-if you are going to be in the same outfit every time duty calls, you had best pick one that is both comfortable and practical, and falttering as well. Your symbol? An icon is worth a thousand catchphrases, and yours will stand for what you stand for. Where will you hide out? In whom will you confide? Will you go solo or do you prefer company, either in the form of a protege (or "sidekick", in Government-sanctioned parlance) or teammates of equal stature, if different skills? And when you are finally ready to declare yourself super, when you have copleted the proper forms and paid your registration fees and union dues, who will you fight? <br> <br> This guid is written in Straightforward Language-the kind of simple, casual speech you might use every day as you indulge in lengthy interior monologues that explain your origins, your current mental state, and any previous encounters you might have had with the persons around you. Numberous headings divide the material into Discrete Sections, and words have been capitalized only when Strictly Necessary. The overall presentation in printed and bound form allows you to use a bookmark to hold your place if you need to stop reading in order to, say, render assistance to a fellow citizen, or take something off the stove. <br> <br> That said, you are now only several lengthy articles, multiple duplex forms, and an official stamp from santioned superheroism. We wish you the speed of MARATHON-MAN, the strength of TINY SAMPSON, and the wisdom of SCHOLARA: THE HUMAN FOOTNOTE as you begin as an up, up, and coming superhero.'' ===Not Answering to Your Civilian Name=== You will likely find it difficult enough at first remembering to respond to your superhero name once you have adopted it. Therefore, you must prepare for those times when you will be someone else, and to answer to your civilian name would confirm the suspecions of those who would do you ill and compromize the safety of your family, friends, and workaday colleagues. Perhaps even before you choose your superhero name you should begin practicing not answering to your civilian name for hours at a stretch - unless you are a teenager, in which case you probably already have some practice not responding to your name, at least when called by adults.
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