Editing Forgotten Freedom:14

'''Tabitha''' : Squishy why don't we give Allen a pay check and what is this unlabeled sum in the out box.

'''Squishy''': The money is for Scravinch an Avolakia friend of mine, he said that he was sending over a powerful undead slave to help us out and I assume Allen is him. After all that slave was the only undead much less vampire that I have on record as being invited aboard, and don't vampires need to be invited?

"Thank you very much, wonderful Squishy. And don't worry about me at all, I'll come here to get it myself, you don't have to bother yourselves." He says cheerfully, in the tones of someone who sounds completely innocent of anything wrong he could of possibly been accused of.

'''Kithle''': (telepathically) So why did you ask me to come here?

'''Kanatash''': (also telepathically) Well I have never had a chance to really talk with you before with all the crazy **** thats been going on around here. I like to get to know all the new crew members, now normally "getting to know" a crew member involves Brain lock, a dark room, mental probing, and memory erasing but since you are at least as good at mind reading as I am you would be able to block my attempts so I had to go about it another way.

'''Kithle''': Fine. I wouldn't mind asking a few questions about you either. To begin with what do you call this game?

'''Kanatash''': This? Doog came up with a while back. I don't think he came up with a name for it. The rules are simple (points towards redshirt tied to a spinning target) I call a limb and try to hit it with one of these darts. If I hit you try to hit the limb. If you hit I call another limb and go again. If you miss I get one point and get to go again. If I miss you get to call a limb. The game ends when the redshirt goes unconscious.

'''Kithle''': Fine, since you invited me I'll go first. LEG! (hurls a dart impaling the redshirt's leg)

'''Kanatash''': Good shot. First I was wondering how you can retained some of you memories after the illithid transformation. From my experience with illithids the hosts mind is destroyed. (telekinetically throws a dart and strikes the redshirt's leg)

'''Kithle''': Its an odd story. I had a talent at mimicry from an early age and when they implanted the tadpole I mimicked its thought which confused it something awful. Eventually it stopped eating my brain so the transformation is really somewhat incomplete. ARM! (impales the redshirt's arm)

'''Redshirt''': PLEASE GODS! NO MORE!

'''Kanatash''': HA! My turn! Yes the ship visited Xoriat a while back. I had made an ill fated attempt on control of the ship and implanted a few "suggestions" in the captain's mind so even after I was defeated he ended up taking the ship to Xoriat with some strange device. HAND (takes off the redshirts middle finger)

'''Redshirt''': (gasping) Ok, keep breathing. Just keep breathing.

'''Kanatash''': Oh yes and much more. The crew didn't experience much of it on their brief trip but before I joined the crew I aCool Cthulhuidentally planeshifted myself there and spent several hundred years there. Words cannot describe the perfection of its madness. What I do on this ship is really only a pale imitation. FOOT (Impales the redshirts foot)

'''Kanatash''': I do have some connections among the ranks of deranged ones. I might be able to arrange a short vacation of a sort although it would be difficult. HEAD (strikes the redshirt in the middle of the forehead)

'''Redshirt''': gluega… (slumps forward unconscious)

'''Kanatash''': Thats the beauty of the game. I modified Doog's version slightly. You see these darts are specially enchanted by Kelter with the merciful ability and a special illusion power. The darts are incapable of doing lethal damage but it deceives the victim into believing they are suffering garish wounds. Now we just dump him back in the redshirt quarters and he will wake up tomorrow feeling terrible with a horrible memory that he can't distinguish between his dreams and reality.

'''Kithle''': Hm, an excelent mix of psychological and physical torture. Wait some one's coming. I think it's Lisa, let me shield us so she doesn't find us.

'''Kanatash''': No wait. I want her to find us

'''Kithle''': Ok... But if you're trying to screw me over I eat your brain and get some of your powers.

'''Kanatash''': Well besides the 50% miss chance it would be doing nothing to reduce the evil in the universe because since I have been tainted by the Delkyr I have no more control over my evil nature than the Delkyr themselves. You would be just taking out conflicting emotions at you questionable actions on an external target. Most unpaladin like behavior.

'''Kanatash''': Oh yes. Since you became part of this crew you have fallen far. I’ve been inside your minde and there are too many infractions to name really. A few of your sins bear naming, we’ll start with the Pride coming from feeling yourself better than anyone else on the crew because of your abstract beliefs. Wrath springs from all your anger at the crew for their actions even though a fair number of them have some deeper nature which drives their actions that is beyond their control. Then there is Envy of those in Thrane who live every day with the blessing of the church and Gluttony for the blessings and praises passed out by the clergy of the silver flame. Oh, Sloth since it has been months the last time you sat down to pray to the silver flame for any reason other than to regain your daily spells and you don’t do latrine duty even when you are scheduled. Plus Greed as you so nicely demonstrated with your help on the bank job since even if you claim you helped so you could take down Sa’vor you still didn’t oppose us when we cleaned out the vault and even took your share of holy artifacts. Finally buried deep, deep within you is the spark of Lust. Specifically for Michael even though you know that he is probably the most despicable member of this crew because he does all his evil of his own free will with none of the supernatural tendencies or extraplanar manipulations that encourage most of the other crew members. There you have it, all seven deadly sins in one handy package. Face it, after all the bounty on your head is bigger than Doogs, you should just start taking blackgaurd levels right now.

'''Kithle''': (giving Kanatash a sly look) That was planned wasn’t it.

'''Kanatash''': I’ve been preparing for months. By the way if you try anything with me I make you wish you had never been born/spawned. I’ve been on this flying madhouse for a lot longer than you have and I have certain “contingencies” in place that will ensure that I’ll come back to return whatever you do to me a thousand fold.

'''Kithle''': I’ll keep that in mind. Anyway, (smiling broadly) mindgames are fun aren’t they?

'''Captain Jarlot''': There’s one thing you have to understand about the Forgotten Freedom Slip.

'''Captain Jarlot''': Two things then. The second is related to the first. At heart Slip, we’re not the bad guys.

'''Captain Jarlot''': Then don’t interrupt. This ship isn’t built on evil. It’s sure as hell not built on good. But it’s built on Freedom. This is a ship where people are allowed to be themselves. Twinks, Munchkins, Overly complicated backgrounds, Power Gamers, Monty Haul players, blatant rip offs of popular media, hack and slashers, Rules Lawyers, and every other type of adventurer that exists in Eberron. They’re all welcome here because we make no judgments about the way they choose to live their life. What I don’t tolerate onboard this ship is people who deliberately set out to ruin other people’s lives.

'''Captain Jarlot''': Neither is going to win awards for their sterling example of proper behavior Slip. I’ve protected this ship from a lot of people who’ve tried to take it over before….

Kellog the Rakashasa laughed maniacally as he revealed his true form while clutching Marish across the throat with his clawed hands “You fools! You honestly believe that the Lords of Dust would ever allow you to continue on your merry way? We’ve been watching you this entire time! You’ve been our tools all along to sew anarchy and misfortune across the lands of Khovaire!”

Marish winced and cried “No…please…”

Kellog sneered as the Tiger man held a jeweled dagger to her face. “Now its time for you to realize that you are nothing more than slaves to our will. You’ll work now to destroy others for the glories of the Rajahs and you’ll beg for when I give you the release of death after I’m done with you.”

Jarlot, having just come out to get his morning coffee took out his blessed crossbow and shot the Demon in the face. The Lord of Dust fell over and exploded into netherworld flames as he returned to the darkness he came from.

Jarlot said “I knew he was a Rakahasa all along….but he was the best damn cook that we ever had.”

Erandis D’Vol cackled as the Lich Queen held Marish in her desiCool Cthulhuated arms while the hideous undead witch had brought them over the side of the greatest volcano in all of Eberron.

“You blithering fool!” Erandis D’Vol sneered “Did you actually believe for a second that I was a mere Aerenal elf!? I have been aboard this ship this entire time in preparation for the day that I would reveal myself! With the sacrifice of all the lives taken onboard this ship I will use them to awaken the Dragonmark of Death and once more bring a nightmare of horror onto the world!”

Marish winced and cried “No…please…”

Captain Jarlot said “I knew she was Erandis D’Vol the entire time…but she was the best damn swabby we ever had.”

'''Jarlot''': Was the best damn ROPE tyer we ever had!

'''Slip''' Don't...hurt him too much.

'''Jarlot''': I'm just going to remind him that when it comes to Chaos in Khovaire, I am King.

'''Kithle''': You'll see

'''Elemental''': He means its about to hit the fan.

'''Allen''': Whats about to?

'''Allen, John, Elemental''': Bastard

'''Kanatash''': Sooo Dooj, what's this one? I mean, the spinning redshirt dartboard was a stroke of psychotic genius, but how do you top that?

Lisa readies her hammer

Stoopid picks up his shield and nods stupidly

'''Kanatash''': I believe I've figured it out thanks. But what do we do?

'''Klaz''': I was a spanish poodle for twenty four hours. I got a lot of good views mate! *pathetically roguish wink*

'''Ketler''': Hey! You two! Help me with this awakened bath tub! It's trying to commit suicide!

'''Ketler''': Its just awakening all your pots and cooking utensils.