Episode 301: Hard Places, Part 4

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Joshua: Shepherd. (a beat) S’kinda odd….
Faria: Who’s odd?
Joshua: I said, “It’s kind of odd”.
Faria: What is odd?
Joshua: That you’ve crossed my path.
Faria: Oh?
Joshua: Well, it’s—
Faria: Have we met before?
Joshua: No, not you specifically, the individual. You, the Shepherd.
Faria: Oh, I’m entirely extinct.
Joshua: No, it’s not that. For a Shepherd, you don’t listen very well…(struggling)… I’m just saying that I-I’ve been doing a lot of questioning and a lot of thinking. And the idea of faith and the word ‘faith’ keeps coming up and I was thinking about trying to talk to a Shepherd at some point. So it’s kind of odd that you crossed my path. You would probably say that it’s not a coincidence, but something greater than that…
Faria: There are coincidences. I’m not denying that. But if you are in need of counsel, then perhaps it is likely. I will say that there’s a proverb: Beware the Flatterer. I don’t know what it is about you, but there’s something that makes me….
Joshua: Wary?
Faria: It’s a challenge to my vows… to be…to fulfill my duties to all humanity, but I think there’s something going on that you aren’t revealing.
Joshua: You haven’t asked me any questions yet, Shepherd. So, it’s kinda hard to be unrevealing when you’re not even asked any questions. What do you want to know?
Faria: What are you doing on the ship? You say you’re the steward.
Joshua: That’s my job. Is that…why I’m here? This starts with the existentialism that seems to be racking my conversations lately.
Faria: Well…let’s talk about that then.
Joshua: Okay. Oh, I was going to ask—
Faria: You’re clearly from the Core.
Joshua: Do you, like, still have that Confessional? Do Shepherds still do that Confessional thing?
Faria: Do you want me to take your confession? I can do that.
Joshua: I might, actually. I…I ju—
Faria: You don’t seem experienced with church.
Joshua: No. I’m not. I…I guess what I want to know is that I’m…I’m willing to be as honest with you as I can, but for a variety of reasons I need that information not to leave this room. Not to leave you. Like…and if you can, if you want to tell me that you won’t do that, if you want to give me your word as a Shepherd, that’s fine. If you want to feel like you have to put me, you know, under the Confessional or whatever it is in order to do that, that’s fine. But…But I don’t feel I can answer your questions the way that I am reasonably certain that you’re going to want me to answer them unless I have the freedom to be able to talk to you without worrying about what might happen if I….

Johsua just can’t express it and stops.

Faria: Absolution is always offered to the repentant man. However, the Confessional is not a cloak to hide the assassin.
Joshua: (!) Yeah. I’ve never—
Faria: Or the conscience of the assassin.
Joshua: I’ve never, I’ve never killed anyone. At least, not that I know of---it’s a long story, Father—Shepherd. I’m, I’m seeking—I don’t know how—but I’m seeking redemption, as it were, for things I’m….

Joshua falters again, struggling to find the words to express it.

Faria: No, you’re right. My loyalty to your crewmate is something I’ve had to, ah….put aside when I took on the robes. So yes, I will accept your confession if you wish to make it.

Joshua lets loose a breath.

Faria: I am concerned that I may endanger people by doing so. If I believe you are a threat to people, I may have to…
Joshua: Okay. I understand that. As to the best of my knowledge, I am not, I will not do anything. I am not anything that would cause you—that would put people in harm’s way. I give you my permission that if you feel that is the case, then you’ll do what you have to do. But I don’t think it will be.
Faria: Well. Unfortunately your permission is inadequate for me to override my vows but there may be some ways around it.
Joshua: Is there something in your vows that says like if somebody…like…well, no, I guess I don’t know enough. Why don’t you ask your questions? That’s as easy a way as any.
Faria: If it’s under the terms of confession that you’ll answer….?
Joshua: I..let’s start without the confessional and when we reach to point where it becomes necessary… Go ahead.

Faria considers a moment, then says:

Faria: People like you with Core accents… and …how shall I put this…?
Joshua: Straightforwardly?
Faria:…Civilized manner….aren’t as….empty….as you seem to be.
Joshua: That’s a very interesting way of phrasing it. That’s probably right. Go ahead.
Faria: So, why is that. What are you?
Joshua: Soda can? Uhhh….this starts to enter that Blue Sun—confessional thing. I’m a product. Like a…I was….I spent my life as it’s been up to the last few months, basically doing what Blue Sun had me do, under ….under a pretense. I-I-I didn’t know what I was doing was what I was really doing, but that’s not an excuse. Or it is. But I was…I was made, I guess you could say, to be other people. So, I’ve…that would explain the whole empty thing. I’ve … (breathes a laugh)…This last couple months is the first real life I’ve ever had, so….
Faria: So you think it’s a real life?
Joshua: I think it’s... I think it’s… it, it feels more real. It feels like I’m, I’m in charge of making my own decisions, in effect what decisions are and how to make them properly.
Faria: But if this were programming, you’d probably feel that, too. Right?

Joshua takes a deep breath, releases it.

Joshua: Maybe? I don’t know. Like…Iii-it’s…I’m…I’m…I’m a log floating in the ocean, Shepherd. Like…I, I…I was…I’m here on this ship because they…out of the goodness of their heart…Basically, basically kept me on board knowing, like, that…that I …I’m…. they know what I am now. At the time they took me in they didn’t know exactly what I was but they knew…they knew that there was a good possibility that—
Faria: Boy, you don’t even know what you are.
Joshua: No. I don’t.
Faria: So they certainly don’t know.
Joshua: That’s fair enough. That’s fair enough, Shepherd, like…um….but the point is, the point is if there’s one thing that I do know, like, even if they don’t know it, is—that ship flies on love, Shepherd. And I don’t mean they love the ship and therefore that’s what keeps it flying. They love each other. Like, like I mean…I…I never had a family that I can remember, so I can’t say I know what family is, but it…it… It’s…. I’m…. (sighs) … If there’s one thing they built me well to do, it’s to at least…to read people. To be able to see what they’re doing. And …and when they’re…they don’t have to tell me they, they love each other. Like, you know…and…and for me that’s… That goes a long way.
Faria: (very quietly) Okay.

The silence stretches long. Then:

Joshua: Anything else?
Faria: I’m going to have to think about that for a little bit. Why’n’t you head on back and…
Joshua: Well, that was easier than I thought it would be. I would like to talk to you at some point, like about, like, God. No, I’m not kidding.
Faria: Well. The Word is truth, so telling the Word can’t hurt me. I’m not afraid of that.
Joshua: Are you afraid of me, Shepherd?
Faria: A little.
Joshua: I-I guess I can see that, I just… but you’re… you’re afraid of the potential of me and you’re not a… (gropes for the words) … It seems like for a, a religion that’s not supposed to be judging people, like you’re, you’re judging me like without even, without even knowing me. I’m angry. And that’s something I didn’t expect to be.
Faria: Listen. I am hopeful that you are sincere and that your sincerity is not…
Joshua: Programmed? Yeah.
Faria: Just the … shell covering something else, a veneer covering something else.
Joshua: How is that any different from half of humankind? ‘A shell covering a veneer, a veneer covering what’s underneath’.
Faria: We’ll see.

Joshua can’t say anything for a long moment.

Faria: I don’t know what Blue Sun did, exactly, but what they were tinkering with…
Joshua: Wait, wait, wait. Wait. What do you know?
Faria: I know a little bit.
Joshua: (upset) No, no. That’s not acceptable. I don’t know anything and now you’re basically saying that you know something? But no, it’s nothing much, don’t worry? Like, it’s all good? It’s not all good!
Faria: Your reaction is somewhat comforting.
Joshua: Oh, good. I’m glad. But that’s not why I had it.
Faria: I don’t have all the answers—.
Joshua: I don’t want all the answers. I just want some of them. One of them. Any of them.
Faria: What answer would you like?
Joshua: I’m trying to figure out who I am. Like, I’m trying to figure out how much of what I did when I didn’t know what I was doing am I responsible for? Everything? Nothing? Like, like… Can I be forgiven? Can I be redeemed?
Faria: Everyone can be forgiven.
Joshua: Okay, well there’s an answer, at least. Now let’s get to the actual answers, like ‘What do you know about Blue Sun?’
Faria: Only… very little. Nothing that is concrete to help you, but—
Joshua: Well, I’ll take anything.

Faria sighs.

Faria: There is, I’ve heard, a tale that seems when you talk about yourself being manufactured…
Joshua: That’s about right. I mean, I…
Faria: Modified.
Joshua: Modified—I think I was, I think I was a boy at some point…
Faria: It is a fundamental pillar of my belief that every person has a soul and with that soul has free will.
Joshua: Okay. I’m not sure I like where you’re going with this.
Faria: And if there are beings that are….(he pulls off his prosthetic arm) … the flesh equivalent of this… manufactured simulacra, made of flesh and blood but lacking a soul, with no free will, that would be…
Joshua: Evil.
Faria: And disturbing. I’d like to believe that that’s not possible.
Joshua: Yeah. So would I.
Faria: I’ve seen things in this Verse that…make impossible something that’s not in my… vocabulary much.
Joshua: You think I don’t have a soul?
Faria: (quietly) I don’t know. I’d like to believe you do.

And just what can a person say to that?

Joshua: (softly) … Okay.
Faria: But as I say, I’ve seen things that make me question whether or not there is… free will, in some.
Joshua: Can someone without a soul… Can someone without a soul be forgiven?
Faria: There’s no need.
Joshua: …Okay….

Again, what else can a person say to that?

Faria: The fact that you worry about it is evidence that you may, if in fact, inside yourself, you are doing that and it’s just not words and facial movements and body temperature and all those things that we …
Joshua: Associate with…?
Faria: Corpses do.
Joshua: I think it but I can’t convince you of that. There’s no way I can ever convince you of that.
Faria: When back in the 16th century, 17th century when the man who thought he proved the existence of God and the soul was held as a heretic, because in doing so he also showed it was possible to have a body without a soul, and that put forever in the mind the possibility. Until recently it’s been purely theoretical. And perhaps it still is. And perhaps in trying to make a soulless being, companies like Blue Sun, a soulless entity itself, might inadvertently create a vessel that would receive a soul.

A vessel capable of receiving a soul?

Dear God.

Faria: But I don’t know. I would like to keep my eye on you.

Joshua stares. Then:

Joshua: It’s funny. I like you. I’m angry with you, but... But it would have been easy enough for you to… to give me an answer that would have been effectively meaningless but what I wanted to hear. (a beat) Is it going to be a problem for me to be on board if you are going to Blue Sun?
Faria: I have taken a vow not to kill. I will be of little danger to you.
Joshua: No, I don’t—I don’t mean that. I mean, is my presence the difference between you going with the ship or not going with the ship?
Faria: No, I want to keep an eye on you.
Joshua: Okay. That’s fine. Will you talk with me about…?
Faria: You will not be able to escape that.
Joshua: That’s…fine. I… Like I said, I’m looking for answers and…. and… it would be nice to see what you’ve got to offer.
Faria: Well. Sometimes the answers are hard enough to understand, but—.
Joshua: I’m on board with that. I’m not even sure I’m asking the right questions right now, so…
Faria: But what was offered me was redemption and hope.
Joshua: I’m all for that. Assuming I’m not a soulless hideous husk and...
Faria: And if you are, hopefully we’ll discover that.
Joshua: Are we done?
Faria: Yes. You can leave.
Joshua: Okay.

Joshua goes back to Summer’s Gift.

Meanwhile, Rick has combed the neighborhood for Annie and Marie and he can’t find them. There’s no record of them leaving the station, but that can be worked around. Or they could still be on the station but are just laying low under the radar. Rick reports his findings to the rest of the crew.

Nika: You know what? Not sure I care. Let them go seek their treasure.
Rina: I’m thinking, ‘Should I be bothered by this? Am I bothered by this?’ No, I’m not bothered by this and good riddance. (a beat) Did they leave their stuff? If they’re not here, we can sell it. We need the credits. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

No love lost between Rina and the pirate women, nope. Never has been, never will.

Nika: Again, I’m sort of in this position that part of two hundred thousand credits would have been nice but, frankly? We’re not in it for money, so whatever.
Rina: (agreeing) No. And when it comes to those people, my morals have become surprisingly flexible.

Joshua walks up at the tail end of this and comments on Faria to Rick.

Joshua: I like your Captain friend. He’s a harsh bastard.
Rick: He was always a harsh bastard.
Rina: Are you sure he wasn’t a Jesuit in a previous life? I was sweatin’ bullets.
Rick: No, not in his previous life.
Joshua: He was….he was…
Rina: (to Joshua, softly) Are you okay?
Joshua: No. I’m…. No. I don’t know.
Nika: What did he say to you?
Joshua: It’s okay.
Nika: If he’s gonna hurt Joshua’s feelings, I’m not gonna take him.
Arden: But it’s a hundred credits a week.
Joshua: He didn’t hurt my feelings.
Nika: Joshua said I didn’t have to go strip for 50 credits so I don’t think we should have to take a guy who hurts his feelings.
Arden: But then you will have to strip.
Joshua: No, it’s all right. He, he just questioned if I had a soul or not. Like…
Nika: (softly ) Of course you have a soul.
Joshua: He’s not sure. And I’m not sure I disagree with him, either.
Nika: Well, then, that’s ridiculous.
Rina: Oh yeah, and you’re taking that from a guy who’s half machine? Are you sure he’s not projecting?
Joshua: Iii-it’s all right. It’s okay. Like… It’s….
Nika: Do you want another proof you have a soul?
Joshua: What’s that?
Nika: What were you doing when we met you?

Joshua remembers and coughs, embarrassed.

Joshua: I’m not sure that’s the correct answer. I mean—
Nika: Joshua. What were you doing when we met you?
Joshua: I was pretending to be a Naval officer. Like the—
Rina: No, what you were doing was—
Nika: (to Rina) Stop. (to Joshua) What were you doing when we met you?
Joshua: I was…
Nika: The short answer is fine, because you know what you were doing.
Joshua: … I was…testing Reavers. Like… or helping them test Reavers.
Nika: (softly) What did you choose to do when you met us?
Joshua: Run.
Nika: (very softly) There’s your proof.

The affirmation sinks in and there being nothing more to say on the subject, the matter is tabled.

Friday, 20 Sept 2520
10:45hrs, local time

Morning dawns and the photoshoot draws near.

Rick: Still no word from Marie and Annie?
Arden: No word.
Joshua: It’s possible that they, actually, are like…
Rick: Are dead?
Nika: Is it possible that they got kidnapped or something?
Rick: Maybe.
Nika: Should we look into that?
Joshua: Yes.
Rick: Don’t you think that kidnappers would contact us?
Joshua: No, I don’t think so.
Rina: You mean, for ransom?
Nika: Why? It’s not like we have money.
Rick: Because the only people we know are these people.
Nika: Okay. I’ll buy that argument.
Rina: There’s always the sex trade.
Nika: Well, that did happen to us once before.
Joshua: That’s probably not the discussion to have right at this moment.
Rick: Yeah, we may be a part of the sex trade.

Horrible thought. We all take a deep breath and push on for the Borderland Express.

Rina: I could go first.
Rick: How many scanners do they have? I don’t want to be here for twelve hours.

We arrive at the Express and we’re greeted aboard. The Express is slightly narrower than the Gift, being an earlier model than our girl, but the layout is very similar. Where our passenger lounge would be on our upper deck is a casino and lounge area with a bar. We’re led here and Riviera looks us over.

Riviera: All right, let’s take a look. (circling us) Yes… well, why don’t you pick a room, a cabin, and get comfortable. We’ll call you when we’re ready. We’ll do you one at time.
Joshua: What are you going to do with these again?
Riviera: They’re for… entertainment systems. We need to do a variety. You see, we have a lot of the same clientele, but they like to see… new things.
Rick: Who doesn’t like to see new things?
Riviera: Exactly.
Rina: Exploring strange new worlds.
Riviera: We’re also hiring wait staff, casino dealers…
Rina: Although I think we’re about to go where everyone’s gone before.

And on that note, we’re led starboard to where the first class cabins would be on the Gift. There’s a door and a corridor running down one side of a row of dressing rooms. Rina marches down to the first dressing room door on the left. The door’s locked and someone says from inside:

Occupant: I’m in here.
Rina: Sorry. Sorry, sorry….

She taps on the next door down and hearing nothing in response, ducks into the empty changing room. Might as well get this over with. She sees that the room is just like the second class bunks on the Gift: bunks against the wall on one side and hooks for clothing opposite. She finds a light robe hanging from one and quickly swaps it for her street clothes, kicks off her boots. The robe on anyone else would cover to the mid-thigh. On Rina it goes to her knees and the sleeves flop to her fingertips.

Rina: Ahhh…hell with it.

She gives up rolling up the sleeves, ties the robe down tight, making sure there are no gaps in coverage, and exits to see how her friends are doing.

While Rina’s occupied, the rest of the crew precede her out of their dressing rooms and they’re escorted back into the lounge area where Riviera looks them over again.

Riviera: All right… If, uh…let’s see…

He asks the standard questions like name, date of birth, if there are any family members who would object to this?

Joshua: Not that I know of.
Nika: We’re all over the age of consent.

Joshua takes a casual read off Riviera, trying to suss the man’s ulterior motives. There’s something not quite right about this guy. That is, aside from the things he’s telling us to do. Joshua regards Riviera standing confidently to the side, asking and answering questions as Nika and Rick and Arden are led off to the scanners. Joshua gets the impression that we’re not being told the whole story.

Joshua: (to Riviera) What aren’t you telling us?
Riviera: (looking up) Hm?
Joshua: What aren’t you telling us?
Riviera: About what? It’s all in the forms. (holds clipboard up) Oh, and you’re not all together, so it’s one at a time.

He nods toward Nika, who’s leaving.

Riviera: She’s the one who has the highest chance of…(making the cut)
Joshua: You know, I don’t think I care, really, right now but… What aren’t you telling me?
Riviera: I….?
Joshua: No, don’t. Don’t do it. Like, what aren’t you telling me?
Riviera: (warily) I….?
Joshua: (cutting him off) Diih-diih-diih—don’t.

Hell with it. Joshua does a full-out Read on the man. Joshua gets an image from Riviera’s mind of a container with half a dozen people, clad just as we are, looking very distraught. They’ve been in there for a very long time. Joshua blinks and stares at Riviera.

Joshua: What are you doing?
Riviera: Listen, you seem to be upset. If you’re going to be upset, it’s probably not a good idea for you do to this. Why’n’t ya go back and get your stuff—?
Joshua: What? What about my friends?
Riviera: While you’re waiting I can buy you a drink and we can make this all work.
Joshua: Could I maybe talk to my friends, like…where are they?
Riviera: Sure, just as soon as they’re done.
Joshua: No, no. Right now.
Riviera: You can’t disturb them while they’re in the scanner.
Joshua: I don’t think that’s really an acceptable option. To be honest. Where are they?

Riviera murmurs into his comm.

Riviera: We have a problem up here. Security.

Joshua runs back to the container with the dressing rooms, hoping to find Rina.

Riviera: Hey, wait!

Rina’s just stepped out of her room and Joshua runs up to her.

Joshua: They’re all bad. They’ve got…people in a container. Like, uh, and they’re not happy about it, like, I read him and he’s bad. Like, bad-bad-bad-bad-bad. Like, this is not good. At the moment, I might not have a soul, so I might not be all that concerned about what I might do to him.
Rina: Okay, you’re very upset. That’s enough for me.

And without waiting for further explanation, Rina turns right around and goes back to her room and suits up. If anything is going down, she’s not doing it in a bathrobe, oh no.

Meanwhile, Nika and Arden and Rick have been led to waiting area and are told to sit and wait to be called. The attendant withdraws, the door closes, the crew sits and looks around. They’re basically in a container that has been finished on the inside with nice plastic paneling to resemble the interior walls of a house. It’s bright and well-lit and clean. Benches line both long walls of the container, their run broken here and there with sinks and low tables that reveal themselves on inspection to be toilets. What the hell? Why are there toilets in a waiting room?

Oh no.

They try the door. The door is locked and that’s when it becomes obvious what’s happened. Now, see? Nika’s had a bad feeling about this from the start. And still no Marie and Annie. Were they lured into this trap as we’d been, too? Rick shakes his head. Damn.

Rick: 50 credits, c’mon. I think it was worth the risk.
Nika: (broad drawl) My daddy would’a said you were a whore, boy.

Back in the dressing room container, Rina gets ready to rock and roll. Joshua’s followed her inside her dressing room on the idea that sticking together is safer and it doesn’t even give her pause he’s seeing her naked. She doesn’t have time for that kind of modesty. For all she knows, the bad guys are poised to gas them unconscious and throw them in with the rest of the sex slaves they’re holding on the ship, so she’s gearing herself up for some violence.

Rina: Time to focus on kicking ass.
Joshua: I really don’t do the… ass-kicking thing.

Before she can exit the room, the door into the container is thrown open and three guards armed with collapsible batons push inside. Yikes! She ducks back into the dressing room and slams the door shut. Locks it up tight. Rina takes stock of what she’s got to fight with. No weapons. Just her fists and her boots. No vest. Just a tight fitting tee-shirt.

Rina: I suppose I could flash them…no. They’ve been seeing tits and ass going up and down the corridor all day. Well, I’ve got isn’t going to impress them.
Joshua: It’s funny, but we keep ending up in a room with you half naked.
Rina: Yeah, well. It’s Christian’s fault.

And she’s sure that no one, not even Christian, had anticipated her considering such a move. Even so, things are going to get desperate in a minute—she and Joshua are locked in a little room with hostiles just outside, and her friends and crewmates are locked up somewhere else on the ship, destined to be sold into the sex trade. At the moment, she and Joshua are safe and in one piece, and Rina hopes the same can be said for her friends. As long as she and Joshua are still alive, she reckons they still have a chance.

No telling how long that’s going to last.

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