BLAG

Campaign Overview

BLAG is the pet name given by the players of a D&D 4th edition game set in a somewhat bumbling, somewhat serious world known as Smearth. The game has been going since the day the 4th edition core books were released and as of October 2009 the players have reached level 26. Along the way they have encountered many strange and interesting NPC's and have saved the world from danger on many occasions.

Setting History

The history of Smearth is not very well documented until about 100 years ago. There are records of a great war that went on for hundreds of years, during which four factions battled for supremacy on Siverow, the continent that now holds Castletown, the Capitol city of Smearth. The great war was ended when a group of rogue adventurers native to the continent made an alliance with one of the other factions and the two were able to overwhelm the others. those adventurers went on to become the saviors of the world once again when an army of ultimate evil from another universe invaded and threatened to turn Smearth into a wasteland populated by undead monstrosities created from pure pain and suffering. The true destiny of these valiant men and women was revealed when they fulfilled a thousand year old prophecy and stopped a mysterious creature known as the Dire Fiend from turning the material plane into a new Hell. Fulfilling this prophecy proved that these adventurers were the rightful rulers of Smearth, and they were crowned shortly after. They divided up the land amongst themselves, and started to work on their own personal projects.

Special Campaign Notes

In the BLAGiverse, there are a number of changes to the base D&D system. most of these are role playing or storyline only changes that just make the game a little bit more enjoyable for everyone. After all, the point of BLAG is to have fun. Unless other wise stated, no special qualities confer any bonuses or penalties to a character unless he uses them in a really clever way, then they earned some kind of bonus.

Races

Dwarves
Thought to be almost extinct during the great war due to their home being in close proximity to The Soha Pacts initial invasion point, a large civilization of these stout warriors was located on an island far to the Zorth of Siverow. This Island was subsequently named Scotland after their first ambassador, Scott. The Dwarves of Smearth are a fiercely loyal race who almost worship their own beards. A Dwarf will look at his beard as a symbol of power and status. Dwarfs are so protective of their beards that it is not uncommon for a particularly cowardly dwarf to shout "Not in the beard!!" when he gets into a fight.

Beard Storage: Dwarves in BLAG are well known for storing things in their beards, such as small trinkets, familiars, snacks, and small sized party members.

Stand Your Ground: In additon to whenever dwarves are knocked prone, they also receive a saving throw whenever they are reduced to 0 or fewer hit points, fall from a height, or go to sleep. A dwarf may choose to fail any of these and just fall down.

Heritage: Until the age of 20, dwarves look just like halflings. On their 20th birthday every dwarf suddenly puts on about 100 pounds and sprouts the dwarven equivilent of peach fuzz, a 6 inch beard.

Halflings

The Halflings of Siverow have mostly kept to themselves for a long time and raised very little fuss. Their home, the Shire was located, until recently, in a secluded corner of Siverow, far away from the ravages of the great war. During the Age of Chaos, however, the Shire was ripped from the Smearth and began to float. This has not detered the halflings in any way from being a fun loving curious race. They love candy and toys as much as the human children they resemble. Some researchers have been lead to belive that a halfings oversized head for their body is responsible for their lust for candy, something about the sugar high.

Can't ride Horses  : Because of their small stature and top heavy anatomy, halflings have a tendency to go flying off any mount designed for a medium sized creature. For this reason, top halfling scientists have created three tiers of mounts for them. In the heroic tier they may ride a tricycle, at paragon tier a Big Wheel, and in heroic tier they may ride a Power Wheel.

Toddlers with swords  : Halflings naturally resemble young humans and dwarves and even the telltale sideburns are often not enough to convince people that they are fully grown adults.

Sausage Fingers  : Halflings fingers not only resemble tasty plum sausages, they frequently taste like them. While no one knows why, this does not stop the halflings from licking them whenever they have a few extra seconds. This should be kept in mind should the halfling ever touch something. He will likely taste it very shortly afterwords.

Halfling Speak  : While there is no Halfling language, they still have their own way of communicating with each other so the doublings won't understand them. For example, a doubling is a human, an ally is a meat shield, and back stab can mean anything from candy to advanced destabilizing warp degradation.

Elves

Also known as cupcake elves, the origins of these crafty woodlings is seated in The Cupcake Forest located in Sohim Sorak. The Cupcake Elves are so good at deception and misdirection that, until 20 years ago, no one on Smearth had ever heard of The Cupcake Forest. The Cupcake elves are fiercely at odds with the Donut Elves, though this has never led to open conflict. Some believe that this animosity stems from a person feud between Princess Ellie Elfkins and Col. Elzix Angus.

Eladrin

Where the Cupcake elves excel at deception and woodcraft, the Eladrin, or Donut Elves, are masters of the arcane. Led by a wizard so powerful that he hasen't needed to show his face in two decades, Col. Elzix Angus, the Donut Elves currently work as freelance trainers, teaching any who wish to learn the ways of the wizard.

Humans

They are just humans.

Dragonborn, Half Elf, Teifling

These races have not been used in BLAG so far.

Classes

Paladin

Paladins are servants of divine beings who want their representatives looking good for other prospective worshipers. Dirt, filth and even rain will never hit a paladin, even the arterial spray of a beheaded Orc will miss seem to warp around him and hit party members not protected by this.

Physics and Science

Smearth and the Smoon

The Smoon is a giant barren boulder floating in the astral space above Smearth. The Smoon is not visible during the day but is there. The proof of this is the Smelevator, a length of cable running from the Smearth to the Smoon. Along this cable runs a large glass box suitable for 10 medium sized characters and their gear. With this anyone can travel from one end to another in 10 minutes. Should a character attempt to travel from one to another should keep in mind that gravity will pull you towards the plane you most recently touched. So even if a character manages to come within a few inches of the Smoon, he will fall all the way back to Smearth if that is where he started from.

The Shire

The home of the halflings, The Shire boasts the largest toy factories and candy plants in all of Smearth. It also boasts that it is a completely autonomous plane ever since the age of chaos. The entire Shire is a floating island in the sky, only about a mile off the ground. the Shire does not remain stationary either, it floats in a pattern that takes it to the same places once every year. Due to several accidents involving Frisbies, a railing was installed around the borders of the Shire.

Ring Gates

The Soha Pact, that once sought to annialate all non-human life on Siverow, made extensive use of magic items known as Ring Gates for several very important purposes. The most well known use was to power their airships. By setting them up to form a loop and dropping in an orb of dark matter, the ring gates and accelerating metal would eventually form a directional magnetic turbine. The second, more sinister use, was never confirmed to be in use, but there were plenty of rumors. A similar loop would be created as the magnetic turbine, except the gates would be rigged to move closer to each other. Eventually, the gates would be closer together than the dark matter was wide, and the rapidly falling metal orb would not be able to sucessfuly exit one side of the gate before getting out of it's own way. Reports of the resulting explosion indicate that it could level all of Siverow.

The Old Kings

Maximilian von Maxwell

http://www.funnyphotos.net.au/userimages/user756_1158817368.jpg http://archive.prairiepublic.org/programs/datebook/images/Godfrey,-MOH.jpg http://www.uncoached.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/tom_selleck-1.jpeg

The history tells the tale of a hero of unprecedented valor and bravery. A tale of the greatest swordsman to ever walk the smearth. His mere presence on the front line inspired fanatical, undying bravery in his allies, cohorts, henchmen, followers, and yes all of his subjects, of which there were many. According to the histories, accounts of the early adventures of the adventurers who would become King include Maximilian von Maxwell single-handedly grappling a land shark and strangling the life of it with his bare hands, along with many other difficult to believe stories. Difficult to believe if one did not understand that Maximilian von Maxwell was truly a champion of all that was Great in the hearts of the people of Siverow, a master of hand to hand combat, and just the most all around greatest guy ever.

Maximilian established many great foundations that last even to today. He always held a great fascination for naval and aerial exploration, and thus established the Royal Navy at Old Man Port. Following the Great War, Maximilian realized that it would be only a matter of time before Siverow and its new allied lands would be attacked again, so he established the Salvation Army, an army devoted to the Salvation of the Peoples of the Land, in the face of Ultimate Evil. In peace time, and yes even in war time when supplies are handy, the Salvation Army devoted itself to the distribution of Soup and Blankets to any who needed them. Maximilian established himself as King of Fortress von Castle and all of Siverow, and the resulting Castletown was largely made up of those who recognized Maximilian's legacy as a true Epic Hero.

The truth, however, is a bit different. Maximilian von Maxwell was the most talented Bard to ever grace the army of Siverow. He was mostly a coward, but had his moments of strange bravery when he felt the odds were on his side. He often commanded his allies in battle, but the focus of such commands were largely to defeat the enemy as swiftly as possible, with the least amount of risk to Maximilian himself. His bardic arts focused on Oratory, and he made inspiring speeches that granted supernatural courage to his allies, often -- ironically -- when Maximilian was himself retreating from the battle.

Or as he would describe it, "Circling Around."

Maximilian did indeed found Fortress von Castle from the remains of a Soha Pact citadel, and established the Navy at Old Man Port. He did indeed, perhaps most uncharacteristically, establish the Salvation Army -- it was not, however, his original intention for the Salvation Army to be motivated by "goodness" but rather by cooperation and shared need. You see, Maximilian was unredeemably neutral in his outlook. He acted for the greater good only in so far as it benefited him by extension. A land of peace, prosperity and safety, filled with happy, content, and healthy followers, would be a more pleasant land to rule. And Maximilian felt it was always his destiny to rule. He hated the angelic host and the celestial gods for their unwillingness to aid in the Great War. He allied instead with the diabolic forces of Hell. An alliance that eventually led to the retreat of the forces from Hell from the plane for 100 years. But though Maximilian's opinion of the Devils was a mostly favorably one, he never let his guard completely down around them. He knew that their ultimate goal was his Soul.

Another one of the Maximilian von Maxwell's contributions to the culture of modern Siverow was his fecundity. What he lacked in martial potence, he more than made up for in reproductive potence. Any humanoid species was vulnerable to Maximilian's charms and sexual appetite. He saw it as his duty to "improve" all the races of the land with his own seed. Thus, many "half-human" or "human-touched" beings of many different races, including, most perplexingly, some lizard men, have appeared across the land. These Maxspawns typically possess higher than normal average charisma and intelligence for their race, and also a penchant for grooming a full moustache of one style or another.

Seeba

Memorable Characters

General Plot D. Vice

http://www.niagaraartcollection.com/Photo/portrait-old-man-face-600.jpg

Opitmus Pine

Mapletron

Bumbletree

Gringo

Kermy

Rear Brigadier Brenn Bahamus

Fikk

Kemak

Zombie Head

Grotis

Valera Ballard

Thomas

Knight Captain Samuels

Princess Apricot

The Emperor Of Spines

Sons Of The Emperor

The Dire Fiend

Asmodeus

Bel

Contact Information

Feel free to contact me with questions and comments at scumbagslacker@gmail.com