BLAG

Campaign Overview

BLAG is the pet name given by the players of a D&D 4th edition game set in a somewhat bumbling, somewhat serious world known as Smearth. The game has been going since the day the 4th edition core books were released and as of October 2009 the players have reached level 26. Along the way they have encountered many strange and interesting NPC's and have saved the world from danger on many occasions.

Setting History

The history of Smearth is not very well documented until about 100 years ago. There are records of a great war that went on for hundreds of years, during which four factions battled for supremacy on Siverow, the continent that now holds Castletown, the Capitol city of Smearth. The great war was ended when a group of rogue adventurers native to the continent made an alliance with one of the other factions and the two were able to overwhelm the others. those adventurers went on to become the saviors of the world once again when an army of ultimate evil from another universe invaded and threatened to turn Smearth into a wasteland populated by undead monstrosities created from pure pain and suffering. The true destiny of these valiant men and women was revealed when they fulfilled a thousand year old prophecy and stopped a mysterious creature known as the Dire Fiend from turning the material plane into a new Hell. Fulfilling this prophecy proved that these adventurers were the rightful rulers of Smearth, and they were crowned shortly after. They divided up the land amongst themselves, and started to work on their own personal projects.

Special Campaign Notes

In the BLAGiverse, there are a number of changes to the base D&D system. most of these are role playing or storyline only changes that just make the game a little bit more enjoyable for everyone. After all, the point of BLAG is to have fun. Unless other wise stated, no special qualities confer any bonuses or penalties to a character unless he uses them in a really clever way, then they earned some kind of bonus.

Races

Dwarves

Thought to be almost extinct during the great war due to their home being in close proximity to The Soha Pacts initial invasion point, a large civilization of these stout warriors was located on an island far to the Zorth of Siverow. This Island was subsequently named Scotland after their first ambassador, Scott. The Dwarves of Smearth are a fiercely loyal race who almost worship their own beards. A Dwarf will look at his beard as a symbol of power and status. Dwarfs are so protective of their beards that it is not uncommon for a particularly cowardly dwarf to shout "Not in the beard!!" when he gets into a fight.

Beard Storage: Dwarves in BLAG are well known for storing things in their beards, such as small trinkets, familiars, snacks, and small sized party members.

Stand Your Ground: In additon to whenever dwarves are knocked prone, they also receive a saving throw whenever they are reduced to 0 or fewer hit points, fall from a height, or go to sleep. A dwarf may choose to fail any of these and just fall down.

Heritage: Until the age of 20, dwarves look just like halflings. On their 20th birthday every dwarf suddenly puts on about 100 pounds and sprouts the dwarven equivilent of peach fuzz, a 6 inch beard.

Halflings

The Halflings of Siverow have mostly kept to themselves for a long time and raised very little fuss. Their home, the Shire was located, until recently, in a secluded corner of Siverow, far away from the ravages of the great war. During the Age of Chaos, however, the Shire was ripped from the Smearth and began to float. This has not detered the halflings in any way from being a fun loving curious race. They love candy and toys as much as the human children they resemble. Some researchers have been lead to belive that a halfings oversized head for their body is responsible for their lust for candy, something about the sugar high.

Can't ride Horses  : Because of their small stature and top heavy anatomy, halflings have a tendency to go flying off any mount designed for a medium sized creature. For this reason, top halfling scientists have created three tiers of mounts for them. In the heroic tier they may ride a tricycle, at paragon tier a Big Wheel, and in heroic tier they may ride a Power Wheel.

Toddlers with swords  : Halflings naturally resemble young humans and dwarves and even the telltale sideburns are often not enough to convince people that they are fully grown adults.

Sausage Fingers  : Halflings fingers not only resemble tasty plum sausages, they frequently taste like them. While no one knows why, this does not stop the halflings from licking them whenever they have a few extra seconds. This should be kept in mind should the halfling ever touch something. He will likely taste it very shortly afterwords.

Halfling Speak  : While there is no Halfling language, they still have their own way of communicating with each other so the doublings won't understand them. For example, a doubling is a human, an ally is a meat shield, and back stab can mean anything from candy to advanced destabilizing warp degradation.

Elves

Also known as cupcake elves, the origins of these crafty woodlings is seated in The Cupcake Forest located in Sohim Sorak. The Cupcake Elves are so good at deception and misdirection that, until 20 years ago, no one on Smearth had ever heard of The Cupcake Forest. The Cupcake elves are fiercely at odds with the Donut Elves, though this has never led to open conflict. Some believe that this animosity stems from a person feud between Princess Ellie Elfkins and Col. Elzix Angus.

Eladrin

Where the Cupcake elves excel at deception and woodcraft, the Eladrin, or Donut Elves, are masters of the arcane. Led by a wizard so powerful that he hasen't needed to show his face in two decades, Col. Elzix Angus, the Donut Elves currently work as freelance trainers, teaching any who wish to learn the ways of the wizard.

Humans

They are just humans.

Dragonborn, Half Elf, Teifling

These races have not been used in BLAG so far.

Classes

Paladin

Paladins are servants of divine beings who want their representatives looking good for other prospective worshipers. Dirt, filth and even rain will never hit a paladin, even the arterial spray of a beheaded Orc will seem to warp around him and hit party members not protected by this.

Notable Locations

Castletown

http://www.slowlane.net/travel/photos/BoltonCastle/Hedge_maze_at_Bolton_Castle.sized.jpg http://www.fabuloussavers.com/new_wallpaper/Ancient_Castle_Fantasy_freecomputerdesktopwallpaper_p.jpg http://www.igshistoryonline.co.uk/Images/Medieval%20Town.jpg

From the ashes of the great war came an opportunity to create a kingdom ruled by intellectuals and awe inspiring leaders. Knowing that the best way to unite the people of the world was to create a central hub for commerce and the sharing of ideas, the Old Kings made use of an already prominent and imposing structure. The Soha Pact, the genocidal sorcerers that had tried to eradicate most of the life in Siverow, left behind a formidable castle when they were defeated. With no formal government save for the military commanders of the Siverow army, the Old Kings quickly claimed the bastion as their base of operations, and soon the capitol of the continent. This capitol building was dubbed the Fortress von Castle by King Max. Gradually, the relative safety of living in this behemoths shadow became a widespread topic in popular conversation, and thousands of citizens and former soldiers flocked to this location to make new lives from themselves. Over the course of 100 years a ragtag camp of settlers and merchants became the largest metropolis on Smearth.

Fortress von Castle itself boasts an immense floor plan, covering more area that a few of the islands surrounding the continent. There are extensive laboratories and workshops throughout the underground and enough space for over one hundred occupants. Surrounding the Fortress is a lush forest and garden, complete with hedge maze. Since commandeering the castle, the maze has never needed attention, and is a popular gathering place for the citizens of Castletown.

Old Man Port

http://www.poland.travel/en-us/imagerepository/general/the-tricity-gdansk-gdynia-sopot/zuraw-the-medieval-port-crane/image_galery
Old Man Port is the primary import export center for all of Smearth. Located on Siverow's Zouth Zestern shores, the Port holds over two hundred sea docks and close to 80 airship docks, including the docking stations used by the Royal Navy. During the great war, Old Man Port was but a small village with no inclination towards any kind of sea or air vessels. The local legend is that the Old Kings once paid a visit to the small hamlet and graced a crazy old man with their time and attention. No one can no for sure if this story is true, but before then, that old man was one of the only people native to Siverow that even dreamed of building boats and taking to the massive oceans. The Old Kings were wise, and saw the potential usefulness of such adventures and swore to make the old mans dreams a reality.

Disaster struck Old Man Port during the Emperor of Spines attempts to plunge Siverow back into war . The Emperors son Wolfgang, a musically inclined diabolical mastermind, crashed his airship into the market district.

Ghost Wraith Island

http://www.destination360.com/caribbean/puerto-rico/images/s/culebra-island.jpg
A large island off the Zouthern coast of Siverow, Ghost Wraith Island is currently a hot spot for those who wish to walk in the footprints of the Old Kings. The lavish beaches along its shores are dotted with small hotels and gift shops, but the main event lies further inland. A large temple to a once powerful wizard who fancied himself a god lies buried under thousands of years of dirt and forest growth. Now the only sign this icon even exists is a sandstone entrance to a network of tunnels and catacombs. The dark magic that once lived there are now gone, and daily tours lead visitors along the path the Old Kings supposedly walked.

Sohim Sarak

http://www.pushingplay.com/wp-content/gallery/gamepics/fallout3__5_.jpg
Once one of the most powerful centers of arcane power on the plane known as the Soha Nation, this sprawling city was all but annialated in a tremendously violent attack launched without wanring from another dimension. Details are sketchy at best, but one thing that is well known, this attack leveled all of the thousand hand tall mega structures that dominated the landscape of the Zorthern most continent on Smearth. An epic battle also took place there, as Siverow forces pushed back the invading forces and protected the rest of the world from the same fate. Luckily for the residents of the Soha Nation, there were a great deal of countermeasures in place for just such an attack. While the buildings were destroyed many of the civilians were protected by magical force fields in heavily populated districts of the city.

The history of the city before this time made it difficult for the citizens of Siverow to sympathize with the Soha's. The Soha Nation had spent the previous several hundred years attempting to erradicate all non-human life on Siverow, an ambitious plan implicated by the nations previous leadership. The Soha Nation was once ruled by a coven Raksasha who's magical mastery allowed him to draw upon leylines build into the surrounding landscape to amplify a series of mind control spells to domitate the entire country. The leadership soon realized that of all the races under their control, the humans were the most willing to submit. So, they did the only logical thing. Total eradication of all the other civilised races became their primary concern. When their goal was complete on their own continent, they soon turned their attention to dominating other, and the first that they chose was Siverow.

Since the disaster that obliterated the city, very little has been done to rebuild. For the last 80 years the Salvation Army has made the reconstruction their primary goal, but a lack of funding has made it difficult for them to even supply the soup and blankets that they are known for. Recently there has been promise in salvaging the ruins of the gargantuan siege golems that once patrolled the outlying regions of the city to sell to the airship manufacturers.

The Cupcake Forest

A dense forest on the Zestern borders of Sohim Sarak that is home to the Cupcake elves. Ruled by the generaous and fair Princess Ellie Elfkins , the elves have sought to distance themselves as much as possible from Col. Elzix Angus in recent years. A hundred years ago the two groups were virtually indistinguishable, but the two diverged at some point and forced the Princess to adopt a more naturalistic lifestyle. The Cupcake elves now keep to themselves, but every now and then one will leave the forest looking for adventure, wealth, or glory.

Scottland

http://www.nickoffer.com/landscapes/Scotland-Landscape-Buachaille-Etive-Mor.jpg
Another large island not far from Siverow, this is the home to the largest commmunity of dwarves left. It also is home to an active volcano, and a family of red dragons that have managed to coexist with the dwarves for as long as they can remember. Scottland was named after the first ambassador to Castletown, Scott.

The Mobile Fortress Memorial

http://www.metropolismag.com/pov/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/sandcrawler.jpg
The Mobile Fortress Memorial is the actual ruins of a powerful siege engine designed by the engineers of Siverow to combat the mighty airships of the Soha Nation during the great war. The plaque honoring the brave Siverow soldiers tells the unfortunate end to the Fortress. Under Commander Katherine Ballard, the Mobile Fortress was headed for what would be the final assault on the Soha citadel, when it was attacked. Undead monstrosities guided by the hand of a powerful lich, launched an ambush looking for Maximilian von Maxwell. In the final stages of the assault, after the Fortress had already been irreparably damaged and Commander Ballard had lost an eye in the conflict, the attacks suddenly pulled back. Knowing full well that Maxwell would have shown his mustachioed grin by then, the lich had no further interest in the Fortress.

Several attempts have been made to construct new, better versions of the Fortress, mostly by enemies of humanity. The first time was by the Emperor of Spines, who used a massive deposit of adamantium to construct an elephant size indestructible Fortress. Fortunately for, it was destroyed before it could be completed.

The memorial has recently disappeared during the invasion of the forces of hell. A team of adventurers that is working to stop the invasion believes that Mephistopheles has reactivated the aging monument and is using it to wreak havoc on Siverow with a new armament addition.

The Rogue Hammer

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_mgyYTW2w19c/SEvPprvrM0I/AAAAAAAADMk/aeo2Y6hyRa4/s400/Airship_sketches_1_by_JanBoruta.jpg
Not so much a location as an airborne fortress, the Rogue Hammer serves as a base of operation of the Sky Pirates. A massive ironclad airship that was once the flagship of the Soha fleet, it is outfitted with a dazzling array of weapons, from downward angled flame jets for clearing ground forces to deck mounted harpoon cannons for securing other sky vessels and pulling the gates off even the largest keep. The current location of the Rogue Hammer is traveling the clouds, its exact route known only to the Sky Pirates.

The Forbidden Forest

http://i.pbase.com/g6/51/784451/2/81577262.9ZGmpmO8.jpg
Despite it's name, the Forbidden Forest is a well traveled area for those wishing to walk the path of the Old Kings. The scorched smeath and lifeless trees create a spooky atmosphere too intense for all but the heartiest of heroic tier adventurers. Located at the exact center of the dead wood is a shrine to a mysterious forgotten god. Dominating the scene is the enormous skeleton of a elder gold dragon, slain 100 years ago by an unnamed agent of the Harbingers of Salvation for unknown reasons.

The Wood of Petrified Ancients

The location of this treant resting resting ground is shrouded in mystery by the Ancients themselves. What is known is that when the treants know it is their time to die, they make the journey to these woods, and allow the forces of time to overtake them, permanently encasing their bodies in stone hard form, and preserving their knowledge.

Aethis

http://www.24oranges.nl/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/project_indigo_2.jpg
Aethis is an immense city that once housed one of the arguably greatest threat Smearth had ever seen. At it's core the previous home of the Dire Fiend. Branching out from there is the 5 districts that were home to the Fiends generals. Each of these Generals was given and area to command and orders to build outwards as aggressively as they could. The districts each stretch out dozens of miles and are each personally tailored to the General commanding it.

Currently the city is inhabited by the citizens who lived their during the Dire Fiends reign, but chose to not align with them when he was in power. A few refugees from other areas of the world have taken up residence in the vast city streets of the city, but the mysterious circumstances that the city was liberated under have led to many fears about living there.

The Elemntal Plane of Cold

Home of the Urfs, as well as a dragon by the name of Azreal, The Elemental plane of Cold was sealed off from acess via the other planes until recently. When The Emperor of Spines sought to obtain more of his former power from The Dire Fiend who was trapped there, an accident occured which unsealed the plane, allowing the Fiend to escape.

The Nine Hells

http://cdn-write.demandstudios.com/upload//6000/700/00/7/56707.jpg

Physics and Science

Smearth and the Smoon

The Smoon is a giant barren boulder floating in the astral space above Smearth. The Smoon is not visible during the day but is there. The proof of this is the Smelevator, a length of cable running from the Smearth to the Smoon. Along this cable runs a large glass box suitable for 10 medium sized characters and their gear. With this anyone can travel from one end to another in 10 minutes. Should a character attempt to travel from one to another without the Smelevator should keep in mind that gravity will pull you towards the plane you most recently touched. So even if a character manages to come within a few inches of the Smoon, he will fall all the way back to Smearth if that is where he started from.

The Shire

The home of the halflings, The Shire boasts the largest toy factories and candy plants in all of Smearth. It also boasts that it is a completely autonomous plane ever since the age of chaos. The entire Shire is a floating island in the sky, only about a mile off the ground. the Shire does not remain stationary either, it floats in a pattern that takes it to the same places once every year. Due to several accidents involving Frisbies, a railing was installed around the borders of the Shire.

Ring Gates

The Soha Pact, that once sought to annialate all non-human life on Siverow, made extensive use of magic items known as Ring Gates for several very important purposes. The most well known use was to power their airships. By setting them up to form a loop and dropping in an orb of dark matter, the ring gates and accelerating metal would eventually form a directional magnetic turbine. The second, more sinister use, was never confirmed to be in use, but there were plenty of rumors. A similar loop would be created as the magnetic turbine, except the gates would be rigged to move closer to each other. Eventually, the gates would be closer together than the dark matter was wide, and the rapidly falling metal orb would not be able to sucessfuly exit one side of the gate before getting out of it's own way. Rumors of the resulting explosion indicate that it could level all of Siverow.

The Old Kings

Maximilian von Maxwell

http://www.funnyphotos.net.au/userimages/user756_1158817368.jpg http://archive.prairiepublic.org/programs/datebook/images/Godfrey,-MOH.jpg http://www.uncoached.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/tom_selleck-1.jpeg

The history tells the tale of a hero of unprecedented valor and bravery. A tale of the greatest swordsman to ever walk the smearth. His mere presence on the front line inspired fanatical, undying bravery in his allies, cohorts, henchmen, followers, and yes all of his subjects, of which there were many. According to the histories, accounts of the early adventures of the adventurers who would become King include Maximilian von Maxwell single-handedly grappling a land shark and strangling the life of it with his bare hands, along with many other difficult to believe stories. Difficult to believe if one did not understand that Maximilian von Maxwell was truly a champion of all that was Great in the hearts of the people of Siverow, a master of hand to hand combat, and just the most all around greatest guy ever.

Maximilian established many great foundations that last even to today. He always held a great fascination for naval and aerial exploration, and thus established the Royal Navy at Old Man Port. Following the Great War, Maximilian realized that it would be only a matter of time before Siverow and its new allied lands would be attacked again, so he established the Salvation Army, an army devoted to the Salvation of the Peoples of the Land, in the face of Ultimate Evil. In peace time, and yes even in war time when supplies are handy, the Salvation Army devoted itself to the distribution of Soup and Blankets to any who needed them. Maximilian established himself as King of Fortress von Castle and all of Siverow, and the resulting Castletown was largely made up of those who recognized Maximilian's legacy as a true Epic Hero.

The truth, however, is a bit different. Maximilian von Maxwell was the most talented Bard to ever grace the army of Siverow. He was mostly a coward, but had his moments of strange bravery when he felt the odds were on his side. He often commanded his allies in battle, but the focus of such commands were largely to defeat the enemy as swiftly as possible, with the least amount of risk to Maximilian himself. His bardic arts focused on Oratory, and he made inspiring speeches that granted supernatural courage to his allies, often -- ironically -- when Maximilian was himself retreating from the battle.

Or as he would describe it, "Circling Around."

Maximilian did indeed found Fortress von Castle from the remains of a Soha Pact citadel, and established the Navy at Old Man Port. He did indeed, perhaps most uncharacteristically, establish the Salvation Army -- it was not, however, his original intention for the Salvation Army to be motivated by "goodness" but rather by cooperation and shared need. You see, Maximilian was unredeemably neutral in his outlook. He acted for the greater good only in so far as it benefited him by extension. A land of peace, prosperity and safety, filled with happy, content, and healthy followers, would be a more pleasant land to rule. And Maximilian felt it was always his destiny to rule. He hated the angelic host and the celestial gods for their unwillingness to aid in the Great War. He allied instead with the diabolic forces of Hell. An alliance that eventually led to the retreat of the forces from Hell from the plane for 100 years. But though Maximilian's opinion of the Devils was a mostly favorably one, he never let his guard completely down around them. He knew that their ultimate goal was his Soul.

Another one of the Maximilian von Maxwell's contributions to the culture of modern Siverow was his fecundity. What he lacked in martial potence, he more than made up for in reproductive potence. Any humanoid species was vulnerable to Maximilian's charms and sexual appetite. He saw it as his duty to "improve" all the races of the land with his own seed. Thus, many "half-human" or "human-touched" beings of many different races, including, most perplexingly, some lizard men, have appeared across the land. These Maxspawns typically possess higher than normal average charisma and intelligence for their race, and also a penchant for grooming a full moustache of one style or another.

Seeba

Saint Blasphemy Burns

Memorable Characters

General Plot D. Vice

http://www.niagaraartcollection.com/Photo/portrait-old-man-face-600.jpg

Mapletron

http://www.apple2.org.za/gswv/a2zine/GS.WorldView/v2000/Sep/Graphics/TREANT.JPEG

Papa Urf

http://home.earthlink.net/~wingsofdarkness/papaurf.jpg

Eeeee

http://www.freewebs.com/miirik/Kobold_Guide_by_D_MAC.jpg

Gringo

The Big Cheese

http://www.vesivus.com/eBay/dndminis/BW_Pit_Fiend.jpg

Kermy

http://www.primexdigitaldesign.com/images/3D%20stuff/Work/frogman01.jpg

Rear Brigadier Brenn Bahamus

http://www.globalnerdy.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/zapp_brannigan.jpg

Fikk

http://victor.zenon.es/Dreamweaver/eventos/kiff.jpg

Kemak

http://www.madeofawesome.net/images/uploads/Lamia.jpg http://www.theaveragegamer.com/wp-content/Sin%20Episodes/Elexis.jpg

Zombie Head

http://www.mochiindesigns.com/ZOMBIE1.jpg

Grotis

Vallera Ballard

http://th07.deviantart.net/fs45/300W/f/2009/110/0/3/Fire_Angel_by_struka.jpg

Katherine Ballard

Knight Captain Samuels

http://www.wizards.com/magic/images/cardart/ALA/Knight_Captain_of_Eos.jpg

Princess Apricot

http://dsmedia.ign.com/ds/image/article/678/678206/super-princess-peach-20051226094112844_640w.jpg

The Emperor Of Spines

http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/images/bowser/bowser.jpg

Sons Of The Emperor

The Dire Fiend

http://e1000.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/ganondorf_twilight.jpg http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/excerpt_4E_angel3.jpg

Asmodeus

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/dx20061204_asmodeus.jpg

Bel

http://planewalking.dungeons.ru/denizens/lords_of_nine/bel.jpg

Dwarfvinci

http://www.science-facts.com/leonardo-davinci.jpg

King Lucian

http://www.importcostumes.com/i/360x360/IC00020.jpg http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2008/06/big-bosses-mgs2-solidus-snake.jpg
King Lucian was the acting King of Castletown when the Emperor of Spines made his move on the city. Soon after it was discovered that Lucian had in fact ordered the Emperor to attack, and he made his escape. He wasn't seen or heard from again until the Dire Fiend sought him out to help with his domination of the plane. Lucian was granted a magical suit of armor and a crew of soldiers to obtain the Fiends goals.

King Tepenhopentep

http://www.frothersunite.com/files/wk/sc/tb/tombs/imag/MVAV_01.jpeg

Contact Information

Feel free to contact me with questions and comments at scumbagslacker@gmail.com