Boneyard's Blog
Fri Feb 3, 2006 3:29 pm
Me am BONEYARD.
Me am felling mood: "mawkish"
Me's music now: "Time After Time" --Cyndi Lauper
Me am BONEYARD.
Boneyard es made of mud and man bones and rocks and soggy-bottom blue grass and old boards and worms (worms am tickley - heh-heh). And me am made of smelly tings and rocks with words and names on nem. Me am telling you dis be-cause Boneyard no have many fwiends be-cause uder olden day fwiends am smelly an not breethin' no more. Dat okay doe, sum of dem am still wiff me!!
[as Boneyard stops typeing to push his hand inside his torso to pull out and reveal...]
SEE!! Dis is Dusty, he am olden day fwiend to Boneyard an he still am good fwiend, only smellier now dan back in da olden days when us guys marched and marched and marched. We am using to march all days long.
It was fun. Me am missing marching. Dat wus fun. Me liked does day very much. General Lee used to yell real am loud an make us guys march and march and march until we am come to big purty fields where we could beat up does blue boys. Dat was fun too. Boneyard miss dat, but he misses marching moster.
But enough of de olden times. Me am olden now and lots more good stuff has happened since long time ago.
Oh yeah...
Fwiends...... Me am not make many, 'cause moster of da people Boneyard meats runs away 'cause of Boneyard smelly rocks and mud and people bones or because me am hitting dem. hehuhehuheueheheheh.. :)
But sometimes I am having lots of fwiends 'cause uder people big and strong like me or under peoples smart like General Lee or meen like Dusty
[as Boneyard pulls the skeletal remains of "Dusty" a little farther out of his mud-melding chest, the skeleton still wears a Southern Civil War cap - Boneyard begins making Dusty talk moving his bone-jaw with furrowed brow]...
IN DUSTY VOICE
"... me am Dusty, me am da meenest rootin-tootinest meen-man in da sout, bah bah bah... me am Dusty and me am meen, bah bah bah!"
[Stuffing Dusty back in his chest]
You see, Dusty am meen-man - just ast him... harharharhar... :)
Ummm... what was me saying?...?
HEY!!
WHO AM YOU?!!?
WHY AM YOU READING BONEYARD'S SECRET INSIDE HEAD THOUGHT!!! RRAAAAARRRGGGGGG!!!!!
[calming down after he cracks the flat screen monitor that he'd stolen after squishing the dumb reporter man inside the news room chair]
Oh... me am forgotting, New Year restilution. darn.
Me am sorry gentle squish persons.
Me no mean to be meen, am just me's way.
Boneyard am sorry.
Sometimes me gets a little cornfused. But it okay. Wees happiest agains. heheheh :)
Errr... you am happy ... riiiiiiight?!!???
Dat wot am thought.
Now...
Whut was am saying again??
And that is today's entry for the BONEYARD BLOG... If fun, Boneyard may stop by and find another computer to use to update you on his day. Feel free to post questions to Boneyard if you would like his thoughts on your feeble villainous ideas.
Sun Feb 5, 2006 6:31 pm
Dear BONEYARD,
I think your Blog is COOL. It is so nice to see a new perspective on the net, different from the normal old stuff. I have some questions for you.
1) What is your biggest turn-on?
2) How do you feel about the alien invasion of earth? Do you agree with their claim that it was justified because earth was building Weapons of Mass Destruction and supporting galactic terrorism through our broadcast export of bad sit coms?
3) Will Dusty be getting his own Blog?
4) If you were a flavor of ice cream, what flavor would you be?
5) Which squishes best, reporters or yapping dogs?
6) Who was right at Gettysburg - Lee or Longstreet?
I have lots more questions, but I will save them for later because I know that you must have a lot to talk about already! I look foreard to your next blog entry!
— Signed, a big fan
