Difference between revisions of "Forgotten Freedom:18"

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Several hours later in Mickey’s makeshift hospital Jarlot is sitting next to Lisa’s unconscious form.
 +
 +
Lisa: (Slowly stirring) Ugh, what happened to me? I feel like I just ate a batch of 12 alarm d’Norbaz and washed it down with a liquid keelhauling.
 +
 +
Jarlot: An ancient evil force possessed you, but you probably shouldn’t hold that against Kanatash. He did it to drive the Whispering Dark out of you.
 +
 +
Lisa: But what happened? Everything from the last few days is a blur.
 +
 +
Jarlot: Well you were taken over by the Whispering Dark and went on a rampage. The ship is critically damaged and the majority of the crew is sharing sick bay with you right now.
 +
 +
Lisa: By the flame what have I done!
 +
 +
Jarlot: You’ve done a fair amount of dark acts but on the bright side I expect that most of the crew is so scared of you now that you should have an easier time with all that goody-goody, righteousness stuff you do.
 +
 +
Lisa: That’s sort of an improvement, I think.
 +
 +
Jarlot: Yes, well, you just go back to recovering for now and don’t be bothered by Cool Cthulhu. He should be waking up soon.
 +
 +
Cool Cthulhu: (from the bed next to Lisa) Whoa dude, that had to be one ugly trip. I don’t feel so hot.
 +
 +
Jarlot: (walking away) Well that only leaves one thing. (outside the room) Michael, come here!
 +
 +
Michael: Whatcha want capn’?
 +
 +
Jarlot: (handing Lisa’s old hammer to him) I want you to take this to Lisa and after you give it to her I want you to grab her chest.
 +
 +
Michael: And why the **** should I do that? There’s no way I’m going to give her a weapon and then give her a reason to hit me with it.
 +
 +
Jarlot: I thought you might say that. Kanatash! If you help me I’ll cut down the length of your sessions with the old dwarf lady!
 +
 +
Kanatash: (floating out of the wall) If you insist. (psionically dominates Michael) I’m sure you understand this isn’t personal. I’m just looking out for my own best interest. I know in the same situation you’d do the same.
 +
 +
Michael mechanically walks into Lisa’s room and drops the warhammer in her hands before proceeding to grope her.
 +
 +
Lisa: Why you little! (begins smiting evil)
 +
 +
Jarlot: Good, she has her paladin abilities back. All is right in the world.
 +
 +
Kanatash: Well as close as they ever get on this ship. I’m sure that won’t last long either.
 +
 +
 +
 +
 +
 +
(The Terribly shadowy place of pure evil, the Liar of the Ultimate Dark)
 +
 +
Ultimate Dark: So, Floral dark is dead I trust?
 +
 +
Whispering Dark: Yes master, we saw it happen.
 +
 +
Ultimate Dark: Calling Dark, how strong do you say this crew is?
 +
 +
Calling Dark: They where fully capable of subduing the reaper from Sa'vors mind, so they are quite capable of stoping many of us.
 +
 +
Whispering Dark: Yes, that is true, but they're minds are weakened by insanity, the only mind I was not capable of bending to my will when required was Sa'vors, his mind was strangly shielded, though his old Master calls.
 +
 +
Ultimate Dark: Yes, I have seen it, his future is clear
 +
 +
Following Dark: What would that be?
 +
 +
Ultimate Dark: He is the one who leads the Lord of the Illithids to power, he is the one who leads the Chosen one into the shadows.
 +
 +
Following Dark: I have seen this chosen one master, he is but a drunk fool.
 +
 +
Ultimate Dark: Until he reaches the tomb he is so, we shall not let them reach the tomb or gather that eye of Prohecy.
 +
 +
Following Dark: Who shall you send o lord?
 +
 +
Ultimate Dark: I shall Send ... The Dancing Shadows.
 +
 +
Following Dark: *gasp* are you sure thats really neccesary?
 +
 +
Calling Dark: My lord, I shall go with the Dancing Shadows and make sure it suceedes.
 +
 +
Ultimate Dark: Inplant the message in out summoner, go now!
 +
 +
Calling Dark: Yes master, I obey !
 +
 +
 +
 +
 +
 +
(Hoybe moves silently for an old man, he walks down to the cargo bay and begins and makes a octogram out of blood on the floor, he begins to chant and the shadows swirl to form the Calling Dark Symbol)
 +
 +
Hoybe: My Masters, do you have a task for me at this late hour where the Dark becomes one?
 +
 +
Calling Dark: We do
 +
 +
Hoybe: So be it, what would this be?
 +
 +
Calling Dark: Prepare to have the Dancing Shadows dwell in your mind for a time, when you reach the tomb, invoke my symbol along side a few of my brethering and we will reward you by all possessing your body indefinatly.
 +
 +
Hoybee: You honour me my masters!
 +
 +
Calling Dark: Indeed
 +
 +
(From the shadows Sa'vor, Kithle and Kantash watch)
 +
 +
Sa'vor: Well, this is intresting
 +
 +
Kithle: I wonder... is he possessed ?
 +
 +
Sa'vor: Most definatly, I've noticed that he could actualy read recently
 +
 +
Kantash: Should me move in on them?
 +
 +
Sa'vor: No, they must belive their plan has worked, we shall prepar to beat them once we get to the tomb
 +
 +
Kantash: How powerful is the Dancing Shadows?
 +
 +
Sa'vor: Imagine a god.. good... now imagin a god of shadows that is more powerful than any other.. good... not imagin a god of dance and music gets absorbed by the Shadow god... good.. now give said god almost invincibility and mastery over... *shuders* the musical
 +
 +
Kithle: Oh dear sweet Kyber , how would we stop it?
 +
 +
Sa'vor: I ... errr... don't know.
 +
 +
Kantash and Kithle: YOU DONT KNOW!
 +
 +
Sa'vor: I never had to find out, it will take me some studying, we better leave now.
 +
 +
 +
 +
 +
Satnak: I hope the chilis good tonight Floral Dark just doesn't stick to the ribs.
 +
 +
Dooj: Wait a tick you like the chili?!
 +
 +
Satnak: Yeah why not?
 +
 +
Dooj: That stuff gives Red Dragons heartburn!!
 +
 +
Satnak: Peh Dragons are pansies. You ever seen one try to use a hammer? Its hil-larry-ass.
 +
 +
Dooj: Why was a dragon using a hammer?
 +
 +
Satnak: He knocked over an orphanage I told him to put it back to gether.
 +
 +
Dooj: But why did he do it?
 +
 +
Satnak - I... Told... Him... To. (GLARE)
 +
 +
Dooj: ULP... yes maam
 +
 +
 +
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: Hey guys.
 +
 +
Jarlot: Where the frack have you been?
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: Oh, at the tournament.
 +
 +
Jarlot: Tournament?
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: There's always a tournament.
 +
 +
Jarlot: Uh huh.
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: I brought some friends over to visit.
 +
 +
Ryu: Yo.
 +
 +
Ken: Hey man.
 +
 +
Chun Li: Yatai!
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: Chun Li weirdly doesn't speak any sensible Chinese but....
 +
 +
Jarlot: HELLOooooooo.
 +
 +
Chun Li: SPINNING BIRD KICK!
 +
 +
Ryu: OOoooooo
 +
 +
Ken: Ouch!
 +
 +
Jarlot: Feisty!
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: But yes, basically, while at the tournament I contacted my true inner self and realized I'm actually a Gold Dragon of Argonessan and that I'm truly the Grand Protector of the Universe against the Cosmic Unbalancers. Therefore, I have decided to spend most of my days from now on looking wise and powerful while randomly picking fights with those I view as unbalancing the universe.
 +
 +
Jarlot: I like Chinese girls. Does she have a sister?
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: Captain Jarlot....
 +
 +
Jarlot: I've played that fighting game. There's one called Sakura right? Or Kitana?
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: You like to get beat up....
 +
 +
Jarlot: Part of the reason I stay onboard with Lisa and Marish uses claws...rowr.
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: I will need meditation and clorax to get that image out of my head. In any case, I must go contemplate my Animality.
 +
 +
Jarlot: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go knock off Kanatash's doppleganger. There's one too many of those.
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: Excellent, my chance to use my new weapon....
 +
 +
Jarlot: What...the...HELL are those?
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: Sword chucks! Yo! Two katana on a chain! Twice the cool!
 +
 +
 +
 +
 +
Muradin is stareing off into space. Bolt-Tooth-Tony sneeks up and shoots Muradin in the back with his cross-bow.
 +
 +
Muradin: Ouch, why did you shoot me?
 +
 +
Bolt-Tooth-Tony: It wasn't me.
 +
 +
Muradin: Oh ok.
 +
 +
Lisa walks up to B.T.T.
 +
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Lisa: WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM
 +
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Bolt-Tooth-Tony: Umm I didn't do it
 +
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Lisa: You really think that will work on me?
 +
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Bolt-Tooth-Tony: Um - yes
 +
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Lisa: Too bad.
 +
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Lisa takes her hammer and beats Bolt-Tooth-Tony until he is a heap on the ground.
 +
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Muradin: Why did you do that? He didn't shoot me.
 +
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Lisa shakes her head and walks away.
 +
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Muradin: (looks at Bolt-Tooth-Tony) Hmm that thing looks familiar.
 +
 +
Muradin flashes back to his childhood when he was playing with his friend Volrath.
 +
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Volrath: Ok Muradin what ever you do don't read this book (holds up a covered book), because it will be very bad for you.
 +
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Muradin: Oh ok.
 +
 +
Two weeks later
 +
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Volrath: Hey Muradin I'm going to look for some spell components for my dad, I will be back.
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Muradin: Ok but come back soon - poo.
 +
 +
After Volrath leaves Muradin forgets Volrath's warning and starts reading the covered book. He gets to a page where theirs a picture of a pile of flesh (looks like a human on the ground in a heap). The book starts glowing and the creature comes to life and attacks Muradin, after a painful hour of being beaten nearly to death, the creature goes back into the book (end of flashback).
 +
 +
(Present time) Muradin: Wait, I know what that is!
 +
 +
Bolt-Tooth-Tony: (moves weakly) What happened.
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Muradin: MURADIN SMASH
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Bolt-Tooth-Tony: oh ****
 +
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Muradin hits Bolt-Tooth-Tony with hammer
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Bolt-Tooth-Tony: *cry*
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Kanatash: Captain, I'd like to speak with you.
 +
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Jarlot: SHHH! Be verrrrrrrry quiet. I'm huntin' Cool Cthulhu.
 +
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Kanatash: You've....got to be kidding me.
 +
 +
*FLUSSSHHHHH*
 +
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Cool Cthulhu: *exits bathroom* Oh my goodness, that chili doesn't stay with you does it.
 +
 +
Jarlot: *fires shotgun*
 +
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Kanatash: Captain, gunpowder doesn't work on this astral plane. You need SMOKEPOWDER.
 +
 +
Jarlot: Gawd damn you MALCOLM RENYOLDS! YOU CHEATED ME AGAIN!
 +
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Cool Cthulhu: Oh hi Captain! I knitted you a sweater!
 +
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Jarlot: It has eight arms.
 +
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Cool Cthulhu: Whoops! Sorry! This is one for my niece.
 +
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Kanatash: I need to basically talk about your issues of attempting to kill me.
 +
 +
Jarlot: What gives you that idea?
 +
 +
Kanatash: The fact you're not even trying to hide it. The bylaws for example have it stenciled in "All laws about leaving no one behind do not apply to Kanatash or Cool Cthulhu:. Is this about driving you insane?
 +
 +
Jarlot: Maybe.
 +
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Kanatash: I point out you were hardly playing with a full stack to begin with. The schizophrenia where you believe Dol Dorn talks to you is an example.
 +
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Jarlot: Ha! Next you'll tell me the ship's resident artificer doesn't have a Cylon lingerie model talking to him that only he can see.
 +
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Kanatash: No, that's just Ketler being a very lonely man.
 +
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Jarlot: Well while I certainly can't forgive Cool Cthulhu for being a dirty, dirty, Lovecraftian horror. I might be willing to make peace with you for being just plain evil.
 +
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Kanatash: Please, I'm hardly plain. Just please stop encouraging this ridiculous attempts on my life.
 +
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Jarlot: Like?
 +
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Bruce Ki: Okay, crouch forward, move one space, and then punch should allow me to do the fireball....
 +
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Jarlot: ...you may have a point.
 +
 +
Bruce Ki: SHORYUKEN!
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(Eight of the ship's dwarves are struck by the fireball and fall to their grizzly demises)
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Jarlot: You know, I should have enough money from the life insurance policies I take on every crewman to finally raise that world conquering army soon.
 +
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Kanatash: Suffice to say Captain, my offer is simple. Don't encourage the crew to do anything more dastardly to me and I'll not do something horribly damaging psychologically.
 +
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Jarlot: Like what? Make me a crossdresser like you did Dooj?
 +
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(Dooj walks out in a pink and frilly dress wearing watermelons on his feet)
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Kanatash: I don't remember telling him to do that.....Captain, have you been spiking the crews food with dreamlily to keep us docile again?
 +
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Jarlot: At that cost? Hell no! I use Jarlot Brand Immitation DreamlilyTM!
 +
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Kanatash: I see and no, my revenge would be far worse.
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Jarlot: Like what?
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Kanatash: I'll conjure up an image of your late father.
 +
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Jarlot: Uhh....I don't have a father.
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King Kaius: YOU COMPLETE DISAPPOINTMENT! YOU CALL YOURSELF AN EVIL OVERLORD!? I'm a vampire King with an undead army!
 +
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Jarlot: Oh no!
 +
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Kanatash: I wasn't aware that you were King Kaius'....son...or that vampires could have children.
 +
 +
Jarlot: Shut up! I've made huge progress in becoming an evil overlord!
 +
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Kaius: Like what? Your mother may defend you but I won't!
 +
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Erandis D'Vol: *cries*
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Jarlot: I may be the product of a horrible magical experiment but that's no reason to tell me how to run my life! *cries and runs to the doors*
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King Kaius: Damnit, now *I'LL* show you how to run a world conquering army of evil!
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Kanatash: Hmmm....I have a bad feeling about this.
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Ketler: Hey, Kanatash, do me a favor and don't draw on anyone's memories for the next couple of days. I was experimenting with an Elan we captured and basically if you do then the Quori spirit will escape and take the form of the worst fear you draw out.....especially don't do Michael or we'll have bunnies all running around.
 +
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Michael: I am not afraid of bunnies! What happened with King Arthur (son of King Steve, the now also late King of Breland) was completely a one time thing!
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Ketler: Sure....
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Michael: Look at the bones!
  
  

Revision as of 12:04, 30 May 2006

Back to plots


Several hours later in Mickey’s makeshift hospital Jarlot is sitting next to Lisa’s unconscious form.

Lisa: (Slowly stirring) Ugh, what happened to me? I feel like I just ate a batch of 12 alarm d’Norbaz and washed it down with a liquid keelhauling.

Jarlot: An ancient evil force possessed you, but you probably shouldn’t hold that against Kanatash. He did it to drive the Whispering Dark out of you.

Lisa: But what happened? Everything from the last few days is a blur.

Jarlot: Well you were taken over by the Whispering Dark and went on a rampage. The ship is critically damaged and the majority of the crew is sharing sick bay with you right now.

Lisa: By the flame what have I done!

Jarlot: You’ve done a fair amount of dark acts but on the bright side I expect that most of the crew is so scared of you now that you should have an easier time with all that goody-goody, righteousness stuff you do.

Lisa: That’s sort of an improvement, I think.

Jarlot: Yes, well, you just go back to recovering for now and don’t be bothered by Cool Cthulhu. He should be waking up soon.

Cool Cthulhu: (from the bed next to Lisa) Whoa dude, that had to be one ugly trip. I don’t feel so hot.

Jarlot: (walking away) Well that only leaves one thing. (outside the room) Michael, come here!

Michael: Whatcha want capn’?

Jarlot: (handing Lisa’s old hammer to him) I want you to take this to Lisa and after you give it to her I want you to grab her chest.

Michael: And why the **** should I do that? There’s no way I’m going to give her a weapon and then give her a reason to hit me with it.

Jarlot: I thought you might say that. Kanatash! If you help me I’ll cut down the length of your sessions with the old dwarf lady!

Kanatash: (floating out of the wall) If you insist. (psionically dominates Michael) I’m sure you understand this isn’t personal. I’m just looking out for my own best interest. I know in the same situation you’d do the same.

Michael mechanically walks into Lisa’s room and drops the warhammer in her hands before proceeding to grope her.

Lisa: Why you little! (begins smiting evil)

Jarlot: Good, she has her paladin abilities back. All is right in the world.

Kanatash: Well as close as they ever get on this ship. I’m sure that won’t last long either.



(The Terribly shadowy place of pure evil, the Liar of the Ultimate Dark)

Ultimate Dark: So, Floral dark is dead I trust?

Whispering Dark: Yes master, we saw it happen.

Ultimate Dark: Calling Dark, how strong do you say this crew is?

Calling Dark: They where fully capable of subduing the reaper from Sa'vors mind, so they are quite capable of stoping many of us.

Whispering Dark: Yes, that is true, but they're minds are weakened by insanity, the only mind I was not capable of bending to my will when required was Sa'vors, his mind was strangly shielded, though his old Master calls.

Ultimate Dark: Yes, I have seen it, his future is clear

Following Dark: What would that be?

Ultimate Dark: He is the one who leads the Lord of the Illithids to power, he is the one who leads the Chosen one into the shadows.

Following Dark: I have seen this chosen one master, he is but a drunk fool.

Ultimate Dark: Until he reaches the tomb he is so, we shall not let them reach the tomb or gather that eye of Prohecy.

Following Dark: Who shall you send o lord?

Ultimate Dark: I shall Send ... The Dancing Shadows.

Following Dark: *gasp* are you sure thats really neccesary?

Calling Dark: My lord, I shall go with the Dancing Shadows and make sure it suceedes.

Ultimate Dark: Inplant the message in out summoner, go now!

Calling Dark: Yes master, I obey !



(Hoybe moves silently for an old man, he walks down to the cargo bay and begins and makes a octogram out of blood on the floor, he begins to chant and the shadows swirl to form the Calling Dark Symbol)

Hoybe: My Masters, do you have a task for me at this late hour where the Dark becomes one?

Calling Dark: We do

Hoybe: So be it, what would this be?

Calling Dark: Prepare to have the Dancing Shadows dwell in your mind for a time, when you reach the tomb, invoke my symbol along side a few of my brethering and we will reward you by all possessing your body indefinatly.

Hoybee: You honour me my masters!

Calling Dark: Indeed

(From the shadows Sa'vor, Kithle and Kantash watch)

Sa'vor: Well, this is intresting

Kithle: I wonder... is he possessed ?

Sa'vor: Most definatly, I've noticed that he could actualy read recently

Kantash: Should me move in on them?

Sa'vor: No, they must belive their plan has worked, we shall prepar to beat them once we get to the tomb

Kantash: How powerful is the Dancing Shadows?

Sa'vor: Imagine a god.. good... now imagin a god of shadows that is more powerful than any other.. good... not imagin a god of dance and music gets absorbed by the Shadow god... good.. now give said god almost invincibility and mastery over... *shuders* the musical

Kithle: Oh dear sweet Kyber , how would we stop it?

Sa'vor: I ... errr... don't know.

Kantash and Kithle: YOU DONT KNOW!

Sa'vor: I never had to find out, it will take me some studying, we better leave now.



Satnak: I hope the chilis good tonight Floral Dark just doesn't stick to the ribs.

Dooj: Wait a tick you like the chili?!

Satnak: Yeah why not?

Dooj: That stuff gives Red Dragons heartburn!!

Satnak: Peh Dragons are pansies. You ever seen one try to use a hammer? Its hil-larry-ass.

Dooj: Why was a dragon using a hammer?

Satnak: He knocked over an orphanage I told him to put it back to gether.

Dooj: But why did he do it?

Satnak - I... Told... Him... To. (GLARE)

Dooj: ULP... yes maam



Bruce Ki: Hey guys.

Jarlot: Where the frack have you been?

Bruce Ki: Oh, at the tournament.

Jarlot: Tournament?

Bruce Ki: There's always a tournament.

Jarlot: Uh huh.

Bruce Ki: I brought some friends over to visit.

Ryu: Yo.

Ken: Hey man.

Chun Li: Yatai!

Bruce Ki: Chun Li weirdly doesn't speak any sensible Chinese but....

Jarlot: HELLOooooooo.

Chun Li: SPINNING BIRD KICK!

Ryu: OOoooooo

Ken: Ouch!

Jarlot: Feisty!

Bruce Ki: But yes, basically, while at the tournament I contacted my true inner self and realized I'm actually a Gold Dragon of Argonessan and that I'm truly the Grand Protector of the Universe against the Cosmic Unbalancers. Therefore, I have decided to spend most of my days from now on looking wise and powerful while randomly picking fights with those I view as unbalancing the universe.

Jarlot: I like Chinese girls. Does she have a sister?

Bruce Ki: Captain Jarlot....

Jarlot: I've played that fighting game. There's one called Sakura right? Or Kitana?

Bruce Ki: You like to get beat up....

Jarlot: Part of the reason I stay onboard with Lisa and Marish uses claws...rowr.

Bruce Ki: I will need meditation and clorax to get that image out of my head. In any case, I must go contemplate my Animality.

Jarlot: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go knock off Kanatash's doppleganger. There's one too many of those.

Bruce Ki: Excellent, my chance to use my new weapon....

Jarlot: What...the...HELL are those?

Bruce Ki: Sword chucks! Yo! Two katana on a chain! Twice the cool!



Muradin is stareing off into space. Bolt-Tooth-Tony sneeks up and shoots Muradin in the back with his cross-bow.

Muradin: Ouch, why did you shoot me?

Bolt-Tooth-Tony: It wasn't me.

Muradin: Oh ok.

Lisa walks up to B.T.T.

Lisa: WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM

Bolt-Tooth-Tony: Umm I didn't do it

Lisa: You really think that will work on me?

Bolt-Tooth-Tony: Um - yes

Lisa: Too bad.

Lisa takes her hammer and beats Bolt-Tooth-Tony until he is a heap on the ground.

Muradin: Why did you do that? He didn't shoot me.

Lisa shakes her head and walks away.

Muradin: (looks at Bolt-Tooth-Tony) Hmm that thing looks familiar.

Muradin flashes back to his childhood when he was playing with his friend Volrath.

Volrath: Ok Muradin what ever you do don't read this book (holds up a covered book), because it will be very bad for you.

Muradin: Oh ok.

Two weeks later

Volrath: Hey Muradin I'm going to look for some spell components for my dad, I will be back.

Muradin: Ok but come back soon - poo.

After Volrath leaves Muradin forgets Volrath's warning and starts reading the covered book. He gets to a page where theirs a picture of a pile of flesh (looks like a human on the ground in a heap). The book starts glowing and the creature comes to life and attacks Muradin, after a painful hour of being beaten nearly to death, the creature goes back into the book (end of flashback).

(Present time) Muradin: Wait, I know what that is!

Bolt-Tooth-Tony: (moves weakly) What happened.

Muradin: MURADIN SMASH

Bolt-Tooth-Tony: oh ****

Muradin hits Bolt-Tooth-Tony with hammer

Bolt-Tooth-Tony: *cry*



Kanatash: Captain, I'd like to speak with you.

Jarlot: SHHH! Be verrrrrrrry quiet. I'm huntin' Cool Cthulhu.

Kanatash: You've....got to be kidding me.

  • FLUSSSHHHHH*

Cool Cthulhu: *exits bathroom* Oh my goodness, that chili doesn't stay with you does it.

Jarlot: *fires shotgun*

Kanatash: Captain, gunpowder doesn't work on this astral plane. You need SMOKEPOWDER.

Jarlot: Gawd damn you MALCOLM RENYOLDS! YOU CHEATED ME AGAIN!

Cool Cthulhu: Oh hi Captain! I knitted you a sweater!

Jarlot: It has eight arms.

Cool Cthulhu: Whoops! Sorry! This is one for my niece.

Kanatash: I need to basically talk about your issues of attempting to kill me.

Jarlot: What gives you that idea?

Kanatash: The fact you're not even trying to hide it. The bylaws for example have it stenciled in "All laws about leaving no one behind do not apply to Kanatash or Cool Cthulhu:. Is this about driving you insane?

Jarlot: Maybe.

Kanatash: I point out you were hardly playing with a full stack to begin with. The schizophrenia where you believe Dol Dorn talks to you is an example.

Jarlot: Ha! Next you'll tell me the ship's resident artificer doesn't have a Cylon lingerie model talking to him that only he can see.

Kanatash: No, that's just Ketler being a very lonely man.

Jarlot: Well while I certainly can't forgive Cool Cthulhu for being a dirty, dirty, Lovecraftian horror. I might be willing to make peace with you for being just plain evil.

Kanatash: Please, I'm hardly plain. Just please stop encouraging this ridiculous attempts on my life.

Jarlot: Like?

Bruce Ki: Okay, crouch forward, move one space, and then punch should allow me to do the fireball....

Jarlot: ...you may have a point.

Bruce Ki: SHORYUKEN!

(Eight of the ship's dwarves are struck by the fireball and fall to their grizzly demises)

Jarlot: You know, I should have enough money from the life insurance policies I take on every crewman to finally raise that world conquering army soon.

Kanatash: Suffice to say Captain, my offer is simple. Don't encourage the crew to do anything more dastardly to me and I'll not do something horribly damaging psychologically.

Jarlot: Like what? Make me a crossdresser like you did Dooj?

(Dooj walks out in a pink and frilly dress wearing watermelons on his feet)

Kanatash: I don't remember telling him to do that.....Captain, have you been spiking the crews food with dreamlily to keep us docile again?

Jarlot: At that cost? Hell no! I use Jarlot Brand Immitation DreamlilyTM!

Kanatash: I see and no, my revenge would be far worse.

Jarlot: Like what?

Kanatash: I'll conjure up an image of your late father.

Jarlot: Uhh....I don't have a father.

King Kaius: YOU COMPLETE DISAPPOINTMENT! YOU CALL YOURSELF AN EVIL OVERLORD!? I'm a vampire King with an undead army!

Jarlot: Oh no!

Kanatash: I wasn't aware that you were King Kaius'....son...or that vampires could have children.

Jarlot: Shut up! I've made huge progress in becoming an evil overlord!

Kaius: Like what? Your mother may defend you but I won't!

Erandis D'Vol: *cries*

Jarlot: I may be the product of a horrible magical experiment but that's no reason to tell me how to run my life! *cries and runs to the doors*

King Kaius: Damnit, now *I'LL* show you how to run a world conquering army of evil!

Kanatash: Hmmm....I have a bad feeling about this.

Ketler: Hey, Kanatash, do me a favor and don't draw on anyone's memories for the next couple of days. I was experimenting with an Elan we captured and basically if you do then the Quori spirit will escape and take the form of the worst fear you draw out.....especially don't do Michael or we'll have bunnies all running around.

Michael: I am not afraid of bunnies! What happened with King Arthur (son of King Steve, the now also late King of Breland) was completely a one time thing!

Ketler: Sure....

Michael: Look at the bones!


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