Editing Forgotten Freedom:58

Satnak - Nice speech.

Illis - Tracers, remember.

Satnak - Next time you want in on my fights, say something in advance. You're lucky Illis was able to hold himself back. They don't call them berserkers for nothing. I was tempted to seal the lot of you in here to boot.

Word Being: I did not have time for subtlety, Satnak.

Word Being: I didn't do any sneaking.  You just weren't paying attention.  A word of caution: never go to that place again.  It is a myriad of possibilities and pathways, quite easy to get lost in.  The worlds you'd find would turn you into their slave and your entire existence would be erased.  Oh, I'm not worried about you.  I would just hate for people who weren't involved in any of our little conflicts to get trapped in there.  The damage you would do would tear the entire fabric of that multiverse apart, and as cruel as you seem to be sometimes I doubt you want to kill another entire existence.

Word Being: Oh, no, I'm not even remotely that stupid.  If I was I would have just dismissed you as insignificant.  I'm saying that secrets around here have inventive ways of getting out, sometimes on their own volition.  Well, I'd better be getting back to the bar.  It's Dwarven Drinking Song contest night.

 

Satnak's been chugging down Liquid keelhaulings for the last hour. Hoybee's past his gills in fermented Yumyuk.

Satnak - "And that;s How they showed their respect for Patty Murphey,

that's they showed their honor and their pride,"...

Hoybee - "In great -hic- stone realm -hic- of Underhelm -hic-

Reigned the -hic- King Ralkin son -hic- of Murinfelm -hic-"... ( at each hic a sonic orb of ramdom magnitude is launched )

Michael - what, for Satnak to get drunk?

Pholly - no, for Hoybee to aim, each orb has hit the dead center of a table

Long Wang Hung, Lucky, and Bolt-Tooth Tony are in the bar, rummaging through the Bag of Stuff when they come across another wand. This one is pink and about 2/5ths the size of a regular wand.

Lisa: Okay, I have to agree with you there. That’s just not right.

 

Kithle - WTF?! WHICH ONE OF YOU SICK DEMENTED FREAKS CHIBI'D DEATH PAPER!!!

Roosevelt is wearing a tin helmet and clenching a cigar in his teeth.  He marches up and down before a line of Volrath's aberrations.

 

Aberrations: Yarrrgh!

Aberrations: YAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!

Squirrel Cavalry Commander - Squeak squeakum squeak squeak

Squirrel Cavalry - Squeaker Squeaken

The Cavalry wears darkwood scale armor and the Ocelots bear leather barding. Each squirrel also carries a lance, a sword, and a pack of javelins.

They mount up the hunt is on, the ocelots have been given bolt-tooth's scent, from a shirt found in his room. Tongs were necessary.

The formation disappears into the shadows and rafters, all the while maintaining communication via tail talk. (ocelot cavalry is so cool)

Bolt-Tooth Tony - Hehe lost them stupid aboleths.

from the rafters: Chirrup

Bolt Tooth Tony - Great, they got dem nut brains spying on me.

From behind one of the Squirrerl cavalry is charging Bolt-Tooth.

Bolt-Tooth Tony - Nice try (spins and shoots, a direct hit)

No effect

Squirrel cavalry trooper - Squeaken :confused:  

Bolt-Tooth Tony - uh oh, guess it don' werk on things that's already cute.

SCT -  :devil: SQUEAKER

The SCT charges once more bouncing from wall to wall at head height.

Bolt-Tooth Tony - Crud :eek:

Lisa: (still chibi) Really, I wholeheartedly support your attempts to return to normal, but I think you're going overboard with this.

Roosevelt: The squirrels are closing in, but the aberrations have taken heavy losses.

Around them, several squirrel clerics attend to aberrations that have become Pokemon lookalikes. None seem harmed, but they all seem to be suffering from a kind of mental trauma stemming from the horrific-to-cute transformation.

Roosevelt: (as they leave) Stop, you fool!! Idiot. He's just going to fuel the fire.

B.T. Tony: OUTTA MY WAY, YE DAFT WANKER! *KAZAP*

My current theory is that I'm a clone created by my father whom was the original Ishmael "Big Cheeze" whom was a pawn of an organization known as the Aurrum which controls every single nation in the world, the economy, the media, magic, and the frosted flakes industry.  The Big Cheeze was the greatest soldier in the world and his dominant and recessive genes were used to create me and my unknowing brother in the Half-Orc Doog whom possesses the superior genes but thinks that he has the inferior recessive ones.

Jarlot: *finishes reading latest entry* And Kanatash thinks he's the only person who can drive people crazy on this ship.

Bolt-Tooth ducks into a dead end.

Bolt-Tooth Tony - Oh crap.

The cavalry doesn't follow.

The catapults are rolled in.

Bolt-Tooth Tony - Haha -OW-

Ravager pack descends upon Bolt-Tooth.

The catapults let loose their flaming ammo Bolt-Tooth can't dodge due to the fire immune savages tearing at his knees.

Lisa - I didn't know it was possible to be adorable while ripping out someone's tibia.

Crow: Well exactly why does moving your node of non-existence involve so much heavy labor.  Anyway, I thought we were going to have a scene in "The War with Myself".

 

He bumps into Squinty, who looks like the beholder in the "My Little Pony RPG" April Fools joke.

 

 

They both come crashing through the wall into Allen's room. The crash creates anime style dust, but no actual debris.

 

 

Terra: (barely able to talk) Let go of me or you lose those tentacles.

In the depths of the FF The Skaravojen cowers in terror. A looming shadow can be seen stalking the shaking beast. The shadow strikes.

 

Bolt-Toothed Tony crawls away, trailing innards. Aerith walks by, waves at him, continues onward.

"The wand did, yes. And because of my non-interference stance, I can't do anything about it directly. I'm going to turn everything over to Bianca until this mess is taken care of."

And BTT finds himself back on the Forgotten Freedom, next to Bianca, who now looks like Chibi Aeris from the FF7 FMVs.

 

Michael walks down the hallway wondering what to do with his time since the most recent batch of on ship chaos began... only to see Chibi Lisa and Chibi Terra talking about something.  He stops, blinks, and turns around and begins walking very fast.

Two: You may find yourself saying "Gnarly" and "Righteous" when you like something.

Fifth and most Important: You will have a compulsion to call everyone "Dude".

 

Somewhere in the backrooms of Kelter's laboratory Kanatash is hooked up to a vast number of strange machines, still unconsious.  An IV runs into his arm from a bottle labled "Ishmael Jr." The Chibified Terra and Volrath are also in the room, partly checking on Kanatash and partly to see if Kelter can cure them somehow.  Terra is on a temporary probation from Caralot to get news on Kanatash's condition while she helps with the conversion of other crew members to Thyrs.

Kelter: (examining notes) His condition has stabilized but he still hasn't awakened.  My theory is that suddenly being cut off like that was a massive shock to his system.  Right now he's in a sort of Coma.  There's no way of telling when he'll come out of it, if ever.

Kelter: Well...  This is only speculation but since the first shock put him in a coma, a second shock, one of pure madness, might jolt him out of it.  The only problem is the magnitude of the insanity he would have to be exposed to for it to work, even a return to Xoriat won't be enough.

Kanatash: (groaning) Ok, three questions.  One, why do I feel like I just spent a night with Caralot without the pleasant bits?  Two, (looking at Volrath and Terra) what the **** happened to you?  Three, what is up with the corpse next to me that looks oddly familiar.

Chibi Terra: As to our appearances, some of the crew members have gotten their hands on a wand that changes people into cute, minature versions of themselve are causing mass chaos.

Kanatash:  :headexplo WHAT!  DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE!?  I KEPT THAT THING CLOSE ONLY SO I COULD PREVENT OTHERS FROM RELEASING WHAT I SEALED BEHIND IT!  HOW MANY DID YOU LET OUT!

Kanatash: I'm not sure that's a fate I'd wish even on a alternate.  However you said there was a fourth.

  :coolcthul : Sweet Jaela, man, you've already taken out my entire stash.  Don't you think you've had enough?

John: And I've heard from Norbaz that he's having the pantry specifically warded against you because he says it can't take another munchy raid.

Hippy Kanatash: Whoa, like, come on, dude.  That's not necessary.  I left him some stuff and I even gave him a bit of the stash.  I, like, did go back and get it but that's not what's important, dude.  I'm, like, at a state of inner peace and like one with the world, dudes.

Kanatash screams a war cry and charges with a massive ax that he just pulled out of nowhere but this time Hippy Kanatash sneezes and falls out of the way as Kanatash trips and stumbles off the side of the deck.

Kanatash unleashes a blast of fire and light so intense that is visible from every single one of the five nations and the moons of Eberron as well.  The heat from the blast causes all flammable materials within 100ft to char and blacken.  The flare continues for several minutes before it finally abates, leaving Kanatash panting.

Hippy Kanatash: (unscathed) Whoa, that was pretty psychedelic.  Like thanks for lighting my bong too, dude.

"Oh," the voice of AERITH GODDESS OF ALL fills the room, "that's because he managed to synchronize with me. A side effect of being so very stoned. He's managed to connect to the bond that I used to keep Bianca safe. Until someone rids me of this unwelcome deification, I'm afraid he's just about invincible."

Voice of Aerith: Though most aren't doing it on purpose... yes, you could say that.

Terra: This is, by far, the most evil side-effect of that blasted stick. Even more so than what happened to Sa'vor...

 

A chibi Kanatash enters the mess hall where Caralot is answering some more questions on Thyrs.  When she sees him she squeals in such a way that several crew members keel over and die.  She snatches him up despite his incorporeality and before he can react.

Chibi Kanatash: *anime sweat drop*

Ketler: What do you mean... THOSE people?

Jarlot: Those filthy green-skinned, flying saucer-riding, Ares-worshipping Red Planet Dwellers!  They almost disgust me as much as tentacled horrors!

Ketler: You're just mad because tentacled horrors get more than you.

Jarlot: Oh that reminds me, I have to go free Tifa from Bob.

Jaela: Ummm... is it true you're my dad?

Jarlot: Absolutely nothing, surprisingly.  Just a fun fact.

Ketler: So... despite your petite size and seeming lack of growth, you're 18 now. Want to...

 

Chalky Comes screaming out of the corridors, pursued by squirrel hordes, the leader of which is brandishing a now familiar wand.

 

The squirrel leader is shooting blast after blast at B.B.T., but each one is missing. So far Ketler has become a little kid with glasses as big as he is. Chalky is an anime style puppy that Squishy is chasing with a carving knife and fork. Jaela was hit but stayed exactly the same. Tabitha has become Talim from Soul Calibur.  :coolcthul  is now drawn in Hello Kitty style with bows in his tentacles. Silence has beeen chibified and all of her piercings turned into clip-ons featuring hearts and bright colors. Finally no one's mouths even seem to form words anymore. They just move up and down and voices come from the background.

 

Bolt Tooth dives in to Beryl’s manifest zone to escape, when looks up and see Beryl looking over her army of transformed redshirts who are standing across from a band of redshirt dressed up look like Devas and Archons but strangely P/Y/R is nowhere to be seen.  

Then all of the sudden P/Y/R  appears from behind Bolt and casts her dominate spell, and then says “I’ll take the wand. I had enough of being sickening cute when I was the pixies. Oh you should go over to the bar and wait for the others to find you, make sure to tell them that mommy now has the wand.”

Beryl: Because my dear, I am a bit like a blue mage. I can absorb spell and then cast them again later *she waves her hand and all the ‘demons’ become chibifed. *  

 

Allen is hard at work on making a cure for the cuteness!  Using samples from Chibi Terra and Chibi Volrath, he is working out a way to uncute them....  There are several failed experiments, with the samples becoming cuter, turning into squirrels, and in one case, spontaneously combusting into tapdancing penguins.  Fortunately, Allen finally made a cure...  Somewhat.

13: [COLOR=Cyan]Is he gone?[/COLOR] *Its voice sounds like music barely within any hearing.*

Caralot: Yeah.  I think it's Saberiel's, thought it could be mine.

Caralot: KANI-POO!  It's so nice to see you back on your feet.

Kanatash: It's nice to BE back on them despite the issue with these ****ing alternates.  I have something for you. Here, dear.

Kanatash: Since there is no telling how long that Chibi wand is going to be around, I had Kelter make a few storage globes for you.  They even come with an optional stasis/sustenance effect for long term storage.

Carlot: Thank you, dear.  I think I know just where to use them (smiles evilly while snatching the jars)

Kanatash: I know, but at least there are plenty of underused crew members to snatch as well as a few others no one will miss.  For example, right now I don't think anyone will object if you decide to collect Bolt-Tooth Tony.  (evil smile)

Carlot: I suppose you're right, (hugging Kanatash) it's nice to have you back on your feet, regardless.

Carlot: (returning his husky laugh) No, perhaps you won't.

 

Beryl: Well mainly because my new pseudo-nemesis Caralot will think you cute and then you either have a huge advantage fighting her… or she’ll hug you to death and your deathburst will at least take something.  

Chibi-Balor: Ah, ok. Second Um… Could I be one of those snake lady demons instead of a Balor…

Beryl: Because I’m bored, and I’m not going to match wits with Terra as long as P/Y/R wants to date/Dominate Volrath… no point in making them choose between us. But and even better reason is because she was trying to get people to worship her god instead of me!

Chibi-Balor: but you're not a Goddess…

Beryl: Demon lords can grant spell up to a point… sure I can only grant up to second rank spell right now… but it’s the principle of the thing!  

Chibi-Balor: Instead of warring with someone who has both the Mad one and the Angel on their side, how about you make a few of us loyal redshirt Clerics and we can go spread you faith to the others… I was a priestess of the Fury before you took my soul so…

Beryl * with a cocked eyebrow * Okay, it's worth a shot… Plus I think it be kinda funny to se the look on Lisa's face when you go around casting converting the masses.  

Satnak: WTF?  That thing brushed-off Kithle, almost caused the FF to fall apart, and coma'ed Kanatash just by standing near him.

Jaela: Flame preserve me... what do you want? I mean, you're not like Ketler who wants to put me in a "plug suit" or whatever, or the rest of the crew who blatantly want to get *blushes* into bed with me, so...

Vrin: I'll take you up on the offer Jae... *Klaz hits Vrin over the head with a small piece of paper, wrapped in a pink ribbon that reads "Retirement Plan*

Klaz: Somefin' you sent Mr. Capitan during his evil genius turned musician phase. Crikey, it's pretty temptin' I mus' say. A picture.

Kanatash: Look, this sounded a bit more fun than how Klaz has run it so far, but the results are promising. Perhaps I can reap some usable insanity from your corpse.

Kithle manifests his mindblade and launches a quick volley of blows that strikes everyone in the room. The wounds glitter with non-existence.

Kithle - Okay you arsewipes. Every time for the next 24 hrs any damage or negative effect that hits one of you, gets the lot of you. That includes cutening. To heal you all have to receive it at the same time and only the lowest amount healed counts. You won't be able to remove it without a 48-hr ceremony, so don't bother. Try not to die if you do the rest go with youth. Note the thread will link you in the afterlife as well. If you die during its duration, it becomes permanent, unless all of you get raised, and that only works if you all get raised at the same time. I have a pontiff to apologive to. Bye. (teleport)

Kithle sets scroll in Jeala's hand

Just then Klaz, Kanatash, Ketler, and Vrin burst into the room.

Kanatash: You cannot escape!  I will know the secret to your picture!

Klaz: (turning to Vrin and motioning him to put up the box) Crikey!  This here folks is one of the legendary progenitor dragons—

Klaz: Othah side! (sweat)

Kanatash mercifully scrambles his brain.

Kanatash: Oh, please no! (he shuts his eyes and puts up several mental shields over his mind)

Klaz unwraps the "retirement plan".

Jaela: :blush: Well…… I was saving it…………

13: [COLOR=Cyan]I saw the suffering of everyone throughout time.  Plus Jaela and I have been doing some things.[/COLOR]

Kanztash "does a Lucky".

Klaz: Pfft. (he points his thumb at his chest)  My persuation makes me immune to anything you humanoids can come up with.  Bondage, macho/sadism, dress-up, you name it.  Rep-to-phillic.

Vrin: (wisely closed his eyes early and is still keeping them closed) salutes and drags Klaz off.  He tries not to think too much.

Jaela: That's nothing compared to this…

SC: All in the line of duty, ma'am.

Consequences: All crew hit by the wand are now cured (except for B.T.Tony, he can rot for a while). Aerith is now no longer the Goddess of Everything and is back with Bianca. Terra now has both wands for safekeeping. I'm not telling you where she keeps them, just don't expect this to be the last you see of this little joke.  :plotting: