Quotes from the American God Game Sessions

Paraphrased from Game Sessions

• Jesus Arthur!! Just how fast are you?! -- Jack

• Give me a few seconds and my image should catch up with me. -- Arthur

• you haven't worked with her for 5 years... -- Brian (regarding Vivian's exentricities)
  well... Technically neither have you. -- Arthur

• Survivor heheh... That's Ironic -- Jack (commenting on Reality television)

• I'm glad that a Kennedy is preaching self rightiousness. -- Mandy (regarding Jack)

• No... But we may have to fight each other. -- Arthur (regarding preperations for powered people)

2:1 - In God We Trust, Part II

• Know, American dog, that I am Ahmed al-Shehhi. -- Ahmed al-Shehhi
  Ahmed? Why do you have a woman's name? -- Brian
  DIE!!!!! -- Ahmed al-Shehhi

• Arthur? It's OK, all the bad guys are dead. You can stop now. Remember me? You're going to cater my party? -- Brian (on Arthur's "securing" of Flight 283)

3:1 - Coming Out Party

• I'm sorry he's going to have to call you back. [hangs up the vid phone] -- Arthur (to President Bush)

• You want to know what we are Dr. Booth? I'll tell you. We're your experiment, that you just lost control of. -- Arthur

5:1 - The Crash

• the question we have now is what do we want to do...? -- Brian (followed by crickets)

• You know, on any other day this would make me happy. -- Arthur (on seeing Brian run over by a bus)

• Of course I have money, I'm a Kennedy. I think it's against the law for us not to. -- Jack

6:2 - Homecomings, Part I

• You sound like a fax machine. -- Mandy (to Jack at the Survivor Press Conference)

• You guys mentioned Coke and Nike? I'd just like to say, if anyone from Coke or Nike is watching right now? I'm looking for ad contracts? -- Julia Lee (at the Survivor Press Conference)
  Like I said, we're still very, very human. [with a sigh] -- Brian

• Rein in your dog Jack. -- Vernon Marks (referring to Arthur)

7:2 - Homecomings, Part II

• Right now im getting a lot of interferance from the planet earth. I need to account for that some how. -- Brian

• Why don't we go inside and have a Guiness and you can tell me what the HELL is going on? -- Harold (Arthur's father after witnessing Arthur's power)

• You need to take pride in your abilities, son. -- Hardold Redford
  I'd like to know what they are first. -- Arthur

8:2 - Absolute Power Corrupts

• Steven Hawking? Yeah. Where's he? -- Brian
  [Jack POINTS toward the Earth.] (as Brian and Jack consider how Brian could find a way to return to Earth)

• First we're going to keep you alive Jack. -- Brian
  ...Good -- Jack

• I'm going to find Steven Hawking's brain... -- Brian

• We're not in Jersey anymore Dad -- Arthur
  God help us. -- Harold

• What's the matter officer... Was I speeding -- Arthur

• Alright, I gotta get to Arthur. -- Jason
  Well, you're only a hop, skip and a jump away. -- Sammy
  I think more like just a hop. -- Jason

• Aww! I promised him a tune-up... -- Cat (concerning the old jeep truck in Athens, GA)

9:2 - From The Mountain Tops

• You're ears, they're off center -- Beth
  It's okay that'll go away -- Brian
  No... no it won't -- Beth

• Why's she crying? ... There's no crying in the hunting camp! -- Harold to Beth

• 80 mph, that's kinda slow -- Jack
  What? Well, like compared to Arthur, maybe... -- Brian
  No... you were going 32 times the speed of light past the moon... -- Jack
  I'm sorry... can you say that again..? -- Brian (when testing Brian's running speed | 32c = 32 times the speed of light )

• Stop!...
  Jumpin' Jack Flash...
  Stop! In the Name of...
  Jumpin' Jack Flash...
  It's a dead man's party..
  and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to... You would cry too if it happened to you, oo-oooo-oo-oo.
  -- Jack (trying to stop Mandy while in astral form, "speaking" through the van sterio)
  • Stop! in The Name of Love by Diana Ross
  • Jumpin' Jack Flash by the Rolling Stones
  • Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo
  • It's My Party by Lesley Gore

• Iron Maiden spikes are NOT bacteria ridden! -- Jack (when Mandy wants to douse him with alcohol)

• Waitaminute... Why am I putting out the fire, while MANDY is playing with the truck?!?! -- Jack

• Ok, the singing is getting old, let's try something else... -- Arthur #1
  Marco!! -- Arhtur #2
  Polo!! -- Chorus of 13 Arthurs
  Ok, that got boring quick... -- Arhtur #10
  Okay, I'm thinking of a color.. -- Arthur #7
  BLUE! -- Chorus of 13 Arthurs
  DAMNIT! Ok, I spy with my little eye... -- Arhtur #13
  CORN!! -- Chorus of 13 Arthurs
  (all when lost for 11 hours in the Ware Mt. Corn field maze)

• ...but I can see invisibles... -- Dee
  Its because your lame mortal eyes can't see us... -- Sammy (regarding Arthur and Brian in Arthur's "time lapse")

• If there's anyone who can explain it to her, it's Jack. Out of all of us his brain is most simular to hers. -- Brian (Talking about Beth and her eventual moral crisis in Seattle.)

• You're ears... They're crooked. -- Beth
  It's okay, that'll go away. -- Brian
  No... No it won't... -- Beth

10:2 - Metropolitans

• She has the power to go blind... -- Brian (regarding Vivian's "powers")
  ...That's helpful. -- Jack

• There's going to be a time and place when we shake hands. Watch me... Like a hawk. You might have to take me down hard. -- Brian (regarding Milos)
  You? Or him? -- Arthur
  Both. -- Brian

• I'm pretty sure he's on the defense. Otherwise he can't run for President. -- Jack (on Milos' involvement with the Reagan trial)

11:3 - America's Most Wanted

• Dad, I love you, I <cough> Guess it is a familiy.. <gasp> Tradition. (dies) -- Jack (dieing on the steps of Lincoln Memmorial)

• Oh no he's stuck in Fuck time. -- Jack (to brian when Aurther is stuck in temporal phase in the Caf)

• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian

12:3 - Play the Game

• With great power comes great ass-reaming. -- Sammy, talking about how our characters are continually screwed.

• I play with a lot of chutes and ladders in real life. -- Mandy, to Beth, on being invited to play a board game.

• I basically told the Vice President to fuck himself up the ass with a monkey's paw. -- Jason, describing Brian's earlier conversation with the Vice President.

• Have you ever played Candy Land? -- Mandy
  There's a land?!? - Beth, in the children's ward of John Hopkins.

• Bored now. - Beth
  I thought you wanted to play Candy Land? - Mandy
  I've moved on. -- Beth, more of the same

• So... Your ruffian days? - Brian
  Yeah. You familiar with the concept of plausible deniability? - Arthur
  Yes... - Brian
  Then do you really want me to answer that question? -- Arthur
  ...No. -- Brian
• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian

13:3 - The Courts of Public Opinion I

• What happens when you snarf fire? -- Sammy, When Dee botched Mandy's attack roll with her fire breath.
• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian

14:3 - The Courts of Public Opinion II

• --
• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian

15:3 - Future Tense

• Don't worry, I have a plan. (turns to Jack) Get us home! -- Brian
  That's your plan?!?! - Jack

• You've got to pick up the ax, because the building's still on fire. -- Mandy, to a very broken Brian

• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian

16:3 - About the Girl

• Arthur, I thought the plan was to get closer to Camelot. I don't know what you're trying to do here, but this... this is 76% deviation... -- Jack, who doesn't quite get it
  Jack, I have no idea what you're talking about. -- Arthur, responding by telling it like it is

• Arthur?!! What did you do?!*- Brian (starting to notice a theme here?)

17:3 - Fathers Know Best

• You're so jealous. - Joelle and Matt, to Brian, at different times.

• I'm not jealous! - Brian, lying in his own defense.

• I need to shut the water off for apartment 216. - Jack
  Why? - Mandy
  They're NTAC. - Jack
  But they payed their bill on time. - Mandy

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The AMERICAN GODS