Sapphire's Past

Part One: When the student is ready... [The Nexus]

Night in the Nexus falls like a black velvet curtain. As the afternoon wanes, the evening seems to be creeping along, and then, almost before you know it, full darkness has settled in the streets, along with the more unsavory elements of society. The day shift- honest merchants and respectable matrons- are settling in to sleep, and the night shift- crafty burglars and tired prostitutes- are getting ready for business. After a certain hour, these streets are no place for a lady to walk alone.

For more than a month now, I've called this riotous city my home. I try not to think of the place I used to call home. There's no going back, really, and I refuse to mope over what must be. The day I Exalted, every other door slammed shut, every other option was removed. That day, I lost my home forever. I had to leave. But the way I left...I never would have wished for that. Maybe if I had left sooner. Maybe if I had been more careful in concealing my new nature. Maybe if someone else had been chosen instead. But what good is 'maybe'? There's no going back now. All I can do is move forward. I lost my first home, but perhaps this one I can hold on to.

I left my former home in the middle of the night, booking passage under an assumed name to Port Calin; from there I traveled upriver to Nexus. It is, after all, a city for those who are lost and those who wish to be. I needed to disappear, and I could hardly ask for a better place to vanish than this whore of a city. Who in the Realm could imagine that I would run off to live in the rotten core of the barbaric scavenger lands? I covered my tracks well, and I doubt that anyone from the Realm would have a reason to look for me, but even if they did, there's no way that they would connect who I am now with who I used to be.

I arrived with the dawn, weeks later, and took accommodations at the cleanest inn I could find- a nice place, but not too nice. In this town, very few people have the confidence (or the armed guards) to openly appear wealthy. I concealed the gold and jewels I brought with me well, knowing that it would have to last me until I found my place in the chaos of Nexus. And to accomplish that, I set about learning this city.

For five days, I did little but walk the streets, talking to the colorful people that make this town what it is. I started to understand how things work here, and I looked for an opening. As it turned out, finding my place was not as hard as I had thought it would be. This city can be very accommodating, if you possess the right skills.

I can be very persuasive. For as long as I can remember, I have had an easy time of shifting people to my point of view. But, since the day I was Exalted, these skills have increased to the level of the supernatural. It is extremely difficult to defy me. And that's the kind of skill this town of traders can put to use. So, I sold Amalia's diamond earrings and bought myself a fine horse, rented a few rooms in the Cinnabar district, and became a diplomat for hire. Getting the first few contracts was difficult, but once word got around of my skillful negotiation, the offers started rolling in.

In the time since then, I've hired a few Nexus folk, and I now have the beginning of a proper entourage. The very early beginnings of a proper entourage...so far, I only have two assistants. Nera, who once tried to talk me out of my fortune, and Jheros Tokai, who was a starving scholar until I hired him. This city devours so many. But for a few at least, I can find a second chance.

At first, I had no idea how I would get by. But things have, by and large, fallen into place. I'm becoming established now. In the way of misfortune, not much has happened to me, at least since I arrived on this shore. There was that one time I foiled the attempted robbery. That's actually how Nera joined my staff. She made a terrible thief, and makes a much better...well, diplomat in training, I suppose.

I do try to keep my business strictly above board. Nothing illegal, nothing terribly unethical. Thus, all of my meetings take place in the light of day. It's a guideline I have never broken, until now. I would not have broken my rules for anyone less than a merchant prince. My newest client, Ysmir Stoneoath, would have been offended if I had not partaken of his generosity at the banquet earlier this evening, and I had no chance to slip away before dark. To complicate matters, both members of my entourage are on assignment, so I face these city streets alone.

I am not afraid of what someone might do to me. I am much more afraid of what I might do to someone.

To be fair, an encounter would not have to end in violence; I can usually talk my way out of trouble. But the truth is, although my persuasive skill is quite remarkable, I've no desire to see it put to the test in anything more dangerous than trade negotiation. If it should ever fail me, in the dark alleys I can't avoid on nights like tonight, things could get out of hand. And I can't stand drawing the wrong kind of attention to myself.

I'm not ashamed of being a Solar, exactly. It just makes things so much more complicated when people know. It could ruin my business, and that's all I've got in this new world. If I'm backed into a corner, I'll have to use my skills. And then everyone will know.

Unless...unless I don't let anyone survive the encounter. But I can't just kill every misguided fool who crosses my path, And that's the real reason I act like I'm afraid. I never want to have to choose between my life and the lives of others.

Of course, maybe I'm just worrying for nothing. As I cross through one of the poorer parts of town, the shadows work for me instead of against me. I'm probably not the only one around here sneaking back home before the dawn. The air is crisp tonight, and I shiver as I walk through the (thankfully) silent streets. A full moon shines brightly overhead, casting shadows in the dead of night. Not even the filth piled along the roadway can disguise the beauty of the buildings I pass, so stately, so orderly. I cross a bridge that appears far too light and delicate to be made of anything so base and earthbound as stone, and I am almost safely back in the shadows again when I hear the footsteps behind me.

I walk a little faster. There's plenty of other reasons for someone- no, from the sound of it, there's several someones- I'm sure they've a good reason to be out and about at this time of night, right? I'm not outpacing them, but I refuse to make this a race. At about the same time as I realize my strategy isn't working, I can feel someone walking far to close to me. So, I stop.

And a few people crash into me.

I get to my feet and spin around, as they hastily encircle me, five men, on the burly side. And they're looking at me like the night just got a whole lot more interesting. Fantastic.

"Look, can I help you?" I say, because I can't really think of anything else to say. It's inane, but if I can get them talking, or better yet, listening, I may not have to seriously injure anyone tonight.

One of the men leers and makes a particularly detailed reference to the form that he'd like my help to take. Oh well. So much for diplomacy. Time for plan B.

I speak firmly, just loud enough for all of them to hear. "Shame on you. Frightening young ladies out for a walk. You feel terrible about this. So terrible, in fact that you have decided to turn over a new leaf. From now on, you will spend your time doing good works. Nothing else matters as much as helping others. In fact, you've chosen a life of celibacy, to prevent the ladies from distracting you from your mission. You know, there's a shrine not far from here, you should go and meditate on the purity of the road ahead of you. Oh, and we never had this conversation. Bye now."

The five wander off in the direction I pointed, eyes glazed over. I breathe a deep sigh of relief, that tonight at least, I never had to turn to plan C. I turn back toward home and by the light of the moon, I see a man standing under the eaves of the building across the street.

He's tall, but not very muscular. His pose is relaxed, and as far from intimidating as a tall person can be. He's dressed finely, in sharp contrast to the men that just left, the sober grey of his garments blending into the shadow.

I look at him a moment, trying to discern whether I accidentally influenced him as well. But he's not heading to the shrine with the others, and his hazel eyes seem clear enough. "That's some trick," he says. "Let me guess, you're an Eclipse Caste?"

I can feel the blood leave my face in a rush. It's finally happened. Someone here knows my secret. I don't want to do it, but I can't allow him leave here with that knowledge. For some people, apparently, persuasion is not enough. So I strike my form, and prepare to attack.

The wind is completely taken out of my sails when he makes a small gesture, and his forehead glows with golden light: a circle, half shaded, the mark of a Twilight Exalted.

I immediately break my stance. "I- You're- I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to unduly influence you. I just didn't want to hurt anyone. Please accept my apology."

I stand there for a moment, eyes downcast, and wait. The silence is too long. When I look up, he's staring at me intently. "I was able to throw off the power of your suggestion, so there's no harm done. I appreciate your desire to find a nonviolent solution. Think nothing of it. I am curious, however. I don't recall seeing you around town. What's your name?"

"Sapphire River at Midnight," I answer after a moment's hesitation.

"Really?" he asked. "That doesn't sound much like a Realm name."

"What?! Is it that obvious?" I cry out.

"Calm down. I'm hardly the casual observer. What's your real name?" he asks.

I don't really like the direction this conversation is headed, and I start looking around for an avenue of escape. I mean, it hardly matters if another Solar knows that I'm a Solar; who's he going to tell? But I'll be damned if I'm going to give up all my secrets to some stranger in Nexus, Solar or no.

I think he realizes it when he says, "I'm sorry, I'm curious by nature. Sapphire River at Midnight it is. The name's Galen. Look, it's late (or early, depending on how you look at it) and I'm sure you'd like to get home. I could walk with you, so you aren't quite so...tempting a target."

I consider his offer for a moment. He has a point. Plus, he's the only other Exalted I've met. I'm not quite ready to let him fade back into the night. So, I sigh and take his arm, and we walk through this rundown town as dawn begins to make the sky blush.

-- from Sapphire River at Midnight's private notes

Part Two: Tea and Sympathy...[ House of Verdant Mysteries Revealed ]

It's been almost a year. I think that maybe now the bitter ache might subside; maybe now I can appreciate the goodness of our time together, instead of just the horror of how things ended. Maybe now I'm strong enough to remember. So I lock my door, and open the chest where I keep my most treasured things, and from the corner where it hides, I pull out a small ebony box. Slowly, carefully, I pry off the lid and prepare to face the past.

It's tea of remembering, infinitely precious, now that there will be no more. I don't dare drink it. But as I breathe in its subtly distinctive fragrance, I am there again.

"What I don't know can get me killed. So, I'm asking you, please, teach me." He sets his tea back down, untouched. He seems surprised that I'm asking, but he shouldn't be. I need to understand what I am, and he's the only person I've ever met who can guide me.

The silence stretches on as I make my case. "You are comfortable with what I am- what we are. I need that. I...I don't know the glory of being a Solar Exalted; I only know the shame of being Anathema. Galen...only you can show me the way." I hate this sentimental plea, but it's true. I took my second breath, and ever since, I've been wandering in the dark.

He sighs and says, “No one has an easy time of this; even if I agree to let you become my student, you must realize that the road before you is difficult."

"Walking a hard road is better than wandering the wilderness. I know it won't be easy, but with your help, it won't be impossible, either." For a long moment after my pronouncement, we sit in the silence, neither moving, as the tea slowly cools before us.

He laughs, abruptly. "I should know better than to argue with an Eclipse. Very well, you will be my first student." The smile fades from his face, as he continues. "Before we go any further, there are some things that I need to know. Who are you, really? What are you running from?"

My insides knot up. This was not unexpected, but there are many things I'd rather do than tell him how I came to be where I am. "My name..." I start, but then falter. These are things I haven't spoken of in so long.

"My true name is Virra Lythia. I am twenty-six years old, and I took my second breath just over a year ago." Slowly, my secrets come to light. "I grew up in the Realm proper. My father was a patrician, and my mother died when I was five, the day my sister Amalia was born. For years we lived happily, And then, when she was fifteen, we discovered that Amalia was one of the dragon-blooded, with the aspect of fire. She left home, to the Cloister of Wisdom. She didn't come back for years, not until after Father died, and when I saw her again, I hardly knew her."

I take a deep breath and press on. "She came back so serious. And so sure of her superiority in the scheme of things. Before she had even been home a full day, she chastised me for not being properly respectful of her place in the natural order, as well as for my 'generally irreverent' attitude. It took my breath away. Ever since the day she left, I gave up so much, scraped together all I could, to support her and her glorious future. She may be dragon-blooded, and therefore the pinnacle, but still...the fanaticism...being away corrupted her."

"Time only made these qualities worse. I found out that even among the Immaculate Order her attitude was a hard one. She was particularly taken with the opinions of Peleps Deled before he left to join the Wyld Hunt. That should tell you exactly how conservative she became. Thankfully, she was not home often."

"Just over a year ago, she returned home, preparing to join the Wyld Hunt herself. Her attitude was as insufferable as ever, and I remember...one day I just had enough. I took the fastest horse we owned, and rode out the quiet places where our fields end and the trees begin. It was there...that was where I took my second breath."

"I stayed in the depths of the woods until I was no longer glowing, and when I thought it safe, I returned home. Thankfully, no one noticed anything amiss. She wondered where I had been, so I told her I went to the woods to contemplate the perfection of the Elemental Dragons, and then I thanked her for drawing me back to the correct path. She was so pleased to think of herself as one who shepherds apostates that she accepted the lie."

"Meanwhile, I waited for the secrecy of night. I wanted to find someplace hidden where I could see what had changed- what I was now capable of. So that night, when the servants slept, hours after Amalia left, under cover of darkness, I found my place in the forest clearing again."

"In the silence of that clearing, a wind was rising. I didn't notice. I had never really been one for meditation, but now I was miles away mentally, considering these changes. It was like-- like I was made of light somehow. The feeling, as if I was meant for so much more than the petty games I had contented myself with playing. For so long things have been wrong, but now, they could be mended. And I could be instrumental in setting things right."

"As the power washed through me...my anima flared to life. Silver light- then crystal flowers. At first there were just a few, then more and more filled the air. Flowers, irises so tiny and delicate, but made of cold, hard crystal. I watched as the light grew, lost in the feeling that this was so familiar... I should remember... and yet knowing that this was no elemental anima."

"I knew that it should bother me...but the immaculate order has been wrong about so much. It was easy, filled with that light, to believe that they were wrong about this too. 'Anathema' I tried my new name and found it lacking. 'No, not anathema. Chosen of the Sun.' She must have heard that, as she crossed the clearing, eyes wide-- and sword drawn."

"She stopped just beyond the reach of my anima, as if to cross that circle of light would be to become defiled. For just a few moments, neither of us said a word. She stared at me, eyes filled with both horror and rage. I still wonder what she saw in my eyes." (Sorry, so sorry. But I am who I am. And I will not die just because your philosophy says that I should.)

"'How long have you been this way?' she asked, through clenched teeth."

"'Two days,' I answered sadly. 'Not that it matters. What's done is done, and can never be undone. I love you, Amalia. But I will not throw myself upon your altar.'"

"My words, though softly spoken, had the impact of a knife in her heart. For just a moment her eyes shone with tears she would not shed. That was the last I ever saw of the sister I loved. I found myself facing the new Amalia, beloved of the Order."

"'Sister...' I breathed."

"'You are an abomination,' she spat. 'You are now my responsibility, my taint to cleanse.' She then assumed her form, and fire danced in the air around her. 'This is the way it must be,' she said with grim determination."

"We fought that night, and it was brutal. I had no real training, but Solars don't die easily, and my existence was at stake. She was a fire aspect from the sole of her feet to the roots of her hair, and had become a swordwoman of some renoun since she went away. It went on for hours; attack, defend, attack, wipe the blood from your eyes and find some way to go on."

"In the end, I was left standing. I beat my sister bloody, and as she wavered between conciousness and unconciousness, I found that I could not kill her outright, and that I dared not let her live. And then...I knew what I had to do."

"I leaned in close and told the first lie."

"She accepted what I said completely-- that I was not anathema, that she was working for the downfall of house Mnemon, that I discovered her secret revolution, that she tried to recruit me, and when I refused, fought me."

"I left her there unconcious, and raced back home, to enact the rest of my plan."

And this is the hard part. "I reported her to the All-Seeing Eye. I told them that she was a traitor, conspiring against house Mnemon. I showed them some excellent manufactured evidence, and I told them that I got my many injuries for not agreeing to aid my sister's foul plot. It was enough to get her arrested. When she was questioned, she corraborated my story nicely."

"She was tried in a matter of days. I was there when they led her from the room a convicted traitor, and she seemed to believe it as much as anyone. I knew I had to leave. To tell the truth, I was lucky the lie held for so long. I gave her a chance. Not much of one, I admit. She's constantly watched, so that's got to make it difficult for her to escape. And house Mnemon seems to take the allegations personally."

"It's been over a year now, and I've heard nothing of her. Something tells me that if she's alive and free, I'll be the first person she finds: either because she knows me for Anathema, or because I'm the one who sent her to prison. Or both, actually."

"Once that loose end was tied, I went back to the estate and started making my plans to leave. I took as many small, but very valuable, things as I could, including things that had belonged to Amalia. It felt good, I admit, to take back some of the fine things I had given up for her. I took all of our jewelry, and a considerable sum of gold (ironically, the very money that I had been saving up for Amalia, part of which would have gone to funding the Wyld Hunt.) I took my mother's wedding ring, and my father's sword, fresh clothes and food, and I booked passage to Port Calin. From there I traveled to Nexus."

"And that pretty well brings us to the present. I can still force people to believe my version of events, as you've seen. In all the time I've been Exalted, that's the only thing I've learned how to do with any consistency. It's...handy...but I'm sure that I can do more, if only you will teach me."

He said, “It’s called the memory-reweaving discipline, and it's not one of the things I can teach you, so it's well you don't need my help with that." And that was it. He said nothing about my past. "I can, however teach you a martial arts form that will make you even more persuasive than you already are. I can also initiate you into the first circle of sorcery. Oh, and then I can teach you demon summoning! Trust me, it's not as evil as it sounds."

I looked at him dubiously, and the first day's lesson continued.

-from Sapphire River at Midnight's private notes

Part Three: Walls and Tall Shadows...[ House of Verdant Mysteries Revealed ]

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Heaven's Mandate