Difference between revisions of "Worst RPGs ever"
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=== ''Wraeththu'' (2005) === | === ''Wraeththu'' (2005) === | ||
Revision as of 15:32, 7 April 2010
Contemplating the worst RPG of all time is a lot like enjoying a foul wine. Not drinking it, of course. But watching another person take a sip, cackling at the expression on their face, and guffawing when they throw up all over their shoes. And then reminiscing about the half-digested spray after the fact. The exquisite pleasure of an aromatic bouquet, second-hand.
The usual suspects in this category are rarely elevated to legendary status merely because of poorly implemented or conceptualized rules. No, candidates are often judged based on the pure offensiveness of their subject matter, naked authorial hubris on internet forums like Usenet or RPGnet, for being the conspicuous failure of an otherwise notable designer (like Gary Gygax), or for sheer gonzo wackiness; and then popularized by flame-filled threads and scathing and hyperbolically over-the-top reviews. Many of the most successful contenders could be disqualified for not being complete and playable games. And many, including the worst three, are only available electronically and never reached print.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Also-rans
=Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
=Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Wraeththu (2005)
At the top of the “bizarre setting” list is this game, based on a series of novels by Storm Constantine (although it has been shown that the RPG is a seriously inaccurate adaptation). The Wraeththu are hermaphrodite bishonen ubermenschen who are apparently slowly taking over the Earth—and, along the way, converting the occasional human into one of them by transfusing blood into them. Oh yeah, there are only male Wraeththu—and their genitalia look like flowers or anemones. (Hence the name I'm trying to popularize for it, MHLD, for Mr. Happy Looks Different.)
The apparently decorative flower on the cover of the core rulebook is, well, not. A flower, that is. The embellishment makes Wraeththu: From Enchantment to Fulfilment perhaps the only RPG with a penis prominently displayed on the front cover.
Though the setting is what most people remember about Wraeththu, it is quite closely modelled on the series of novels that it is based on. It is more the system that is at fault here than the campaign world, which is precisely what it set out to be - a fanguide to a set of obscure pseudo-homoerotic fantasies written by Storm Constantine. The novels have their own cult following. The rules on the other hand include such wonderful faux pas as chainmail armour that provides complete protection from flamethrower damage, collision rules that would result in instant death from kicking a stationary car, falling rules that would have the average human killed every time he tripped, magic rules that were blatantly stolen from the original Mage RPG by White Wolf, and a general system so entirely unsuited to its subject matter that it's somewhat akin to grafting D&D's mechanics onto an episode of Love Story.
- "This is the Wraeththu review you've been waiting for..." thread on RPGnet. Review by Darren MacLennan.
- Jeff Rients review, announced in this thread on RPGnet. More positive than McLennan's.
