Difference between revisions of "Worst RPGs ever"

From RPGnet
Jump to: navigation, search
(The Unholy Trinity)
(''The Adventures of Indiana Jones Role-Playing Game'' (1984))
Line 7: Line 7:
 
== Also-rans ==
 
== Also-rans ==
  
=== ''The Adventures of Indiana Jones Role-Playing Game'' (1984) ===
 
  
This game generated the false rumor that TSR had tried to trademark 'Nazi'. One of the most astonishingly limited RPGs ever published: you can only play a short list of characters from the films, there are no character generation rules, and adventure formats were similarly sparse. Some of these features might be excused if the game was thought of as deliberately 'introductory' in nature, but the fact is, it sucked. This is not be confused with 1994's ''The World of Indiana Jones'' by West End Games.
 
  
 
=== ''Cyborg Commando'' (1987) ===
 
=== ''Cyborg Commando'' (1987) ===

Revision as of 12:45, 13 April 2008

Contemplating the worst RPG of all time is a lot like enjoying a foul wine. Not drinking it, of course. But watching another person take a sip, cackling at the expression on their face, and guffawing when they throw up all over their shoes. And then reminiscing about the half-digested spray after the fact. The exquisite pleasure of an aromatic bouquet, second-hand.

The usual suspects in this category are rarely elevated to legendary status merely because of poorly implemented or conceptualized rules. No, candidates are often judged based on the pure offensiveness of their subject matter, naked authorial hubris on internet forums like Usenet or RPGnet, for being the conspicous failure of an anotherwise notable designer (like Gary Gygax), or for sheer gonzo wackiness; and then popularized by flame-filled threads and scatching and hyberbolically over-the-top reviews. Many of the most successful contenders could be disqualified for not being complete and playable games. And many, including the worst three, are only available electronically and never reached print.


Also-rans

Cyborg Commando (1987)

Cyborg Commando has reached iconic status primarily because of the name on the cover: Gary Gygax. After his departure from TSR, Gygax founded New Infinities Productions, Inc. and published Cyborg in 1987, with fellow luminaries Kim Mohan and Frank Mentzer. The game designers, rooted in the trends of the 1970s, attempted to create a game adopting the dark sensibilities then in vogue in the 1980s. The result is an implausible game about cyborgs who fight alien invaders ("Xenoborgs") by shooting lasers from their fingers with a wonky mechanic.

Empire of Satanis (2005)

The author of Satanis, Darrick Dishaw, described his game in the RPGnet forums as a "dark fantasy RPG inspired by H.P. Lovecraft, Thomas Ligotti, Hellraiser, and [his] own nightmares." What players who cracked open the game found was a mess of a game whose major reason for existing was to be as "rebellious" and "dark" as a 14-year-old proto-Goth. The system was a competent enough spin on d6, but the setting killed the interest for a number of reviewers, who just didn't see a reason for playing beings of pure evil who scheme in a hell dimension and occasionally go out and torment humans. Dishaw didn't help matters much; the self-proclaimed Satanist and "Cthulhu Cultist" (believing that beings made up by H.P. Lovecraft were representational imagery of real Things That Should Not Be) actually tried to levy a curse against all those who panned his game on the RPGnet forums. An interesting idea that had already been portrayed by In Nomine in a more well-rounded fashion, and which wasn't at all helped by the eccentricites of the author.

K.A.B.A.L. (Knights and Berserkers and Legerdemain, 1980)

One of the first RPG's to follow in the wake of original D&D, and arguably the hobby's first unmitigated flop.

Leading Edge Games

(insert desc here)

SenZar (1995)

This fantasy RPG became infamous after a 1996 usenet incident where the creators overhyped the game, going as far as using sock puppet accounts to attack the inevitable critics. As with World of Synnibarr, SenZar was once considered by many RPGnet denizens the worst RPG ever, but this antipathy has largely been redirected against FATAL. The game itself is surprisingly playable, having more elegant rules and fewer restrictions than most class/level games, and arguably doesn't belong in any list of terrible games. Nonetheless, it still has elements that an average gamer might object to, such as its open encouragement of powergaming, the lack of balance among the professions/classes, the rather juvenile writing, or the fetish for all things heavy metal.

Reviews on RPGnet:

Spawn of Fashan (1981)

Also from the early years of the hobby, overcomplex to the point of being incomprehensible and so bad that, allegedly, some gamers insisted it had to be a deliberate satire. Its legacy (such as it is) was secured through the "Munchkin Files", a text file circulating on the Internet in various versions, a long list of role-playing stereotypes and how they relate to each other, different games, and different settings. Said document claimed that for certain types of players, "Real Loonies", Spawn of Fashan was the preferred game.

The World of Synnibarr (1991)

This science fantasy RPG is among the most legendary examples of mass "worst game ever!" sentiment, and has been mocked both for its surreal setting (every time Synnibarr comes up in discussion, someone just has to mention the flying grizzly bears with laser beam eyes) and incredibly complex rules (which go as far as providing an equation for how hard you can exhale!). This reputation was not helped by creator Raven c.s. McCracken's hostility towards the game's critics in the early 90's. These days, however, Mr. McCracken is more friendly (he even got along with Darren MacLennan at Origins 2003, despite the latter's previous vitriol), and many people feel FATAL is more deserving of "worst game ever" status than Synnibarr ever was. A few gamers even enjoy the game's silliness in an Ed Wood/Plan 9 From Outer Space way.

Review on RPGnet:

Wraeththu (2005)

At the top of the “bizarre setting” list is this game, based on a series of novels by Storm Constantine (although it has been shown that the RPG is a seriously inaccurate adaptation). The Wraeththu are hermaphrodite bishonen ubermenschen who are apparently slowly taking over the Earth—and, along the way, converting the occasional human into one of them by transfusing blood into them. Oh yeah, there are only male Wraeththu—and their genitalia look like flowers or anemones. (Hence the name I'm trying to popularize for it, MHLD, for Mr. Happy Looks Different.)