Worst RPGs ever
Contemplating the worst RPG of all time is a lot like enjoying a foul wine. Not drinking it, of course. But watching another person take a sip, cackling at the expression on their face, and guffawing when they throw up all over their shoes. And then reminiscing about the half-digested spray after the fact. The exquisite pleasure of an aromatic bouquet, second-hand.
The usual suspects in this category are rarely elevated to legendary status merely because of poorly implemented or conceptualized rules. No, candidates are often judged based on the pure offensiveness of their subject matter, naked authorial hubris on internet forums like Usenet or RPGnet, for being the conspicuous failure of an otherwise notable designer (like Gary Gygax), or for sheer gonzo wackiness; and then popularized by flame-filled threads and scathing and hyperbolically over-the-top reviews. Many of the most successful contenders could be disqualified for not being complete and playable games. And many, including the worst three, are only available electronically and never reached print.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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=Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
=Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Dure hure. I'm an untalented fuck who couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. So I make fun of people with more talent than me to compensate for my micro penis. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Spawn of Fashan (1981)
From the early years of the hobby, overcomplex to the point of being incomprehensible and so bad that some gamers insisted it had to be a deliberate satire. Including notable game designer and author of Heroic Worlds Lawrence Schick, who wrote a scathing review in Dragon magazine #60, concluding that the game was so terrible it just had to be a deliberate parody. Its legacy (such as it is) as one of the first truly terrible games catapulted it into the limelight (being of course pre-World Wide Web, more efficient means of propulsion like those that secured the notoriety of the much later F.A.T.A.L. were simply not available). of Lawrence R. Raimonda's "U 2 Can Earn Big Bux!" article in Dragon #128 which classifies roleplayers into "Real Men, Real Roleplayers, Munchkins, and Loonies" listed Spawn of Fashan as the preferred game for Loonies. The popular success of the article, and its (much-)subsequent proliferation as a minor internet meme (many variations on the original are available via friendly neighborhood search engines), ensured that the game's reputation survived into the digital era.
Reviews on RPGnet:
- The Spawn of Fashan by Roger M. Wilcox
The World of Synnibarr (1991)
This science fantasy RPG is among the most legendary examples of mass "worst game ever!" sentiment, and has been mocked both for its surreal setting (every time Synnibarr comes up in discussion, someone just has to mention the flying grizzly bears with laser beam eyes) and incredibly complex rules (which go as far as providing an equation for how hard you can exhale!). This reputation was not helped by creator Raven c.s. McCracken's hostility towards the game's critics in the early 90's. These days, however, Mr. McCracken is more friendly (he even got along with Darren MacLennan at Origins 2003, despite the latter's previous vitriol), and many people feel FATAL is more deserving of "worst game ever" status than Synnibarr ever was. A few gamers even enjoy the game's silliness in an Ed Wood/Plan 9 From Outer Space way.
Review on RPGnet:
- "The World of Synnibarr" by Craig Warren.
- "The World of Synnibarr" by Bradford C. Walker.
- "The World of Synnibarr" by Darren MacLennan.
- "The World of Synnibarr" by Roger Mier.
Wraeththu (2005)
At the top of the “bizarre setting” list is this game, based on a series of novels by Storm Constantine (although it has been shown that the RPG is a seriously inaccurate adaptation). The Wraeththu are hermaphrodite bishonen ubermenschen who are apparently slowly taking over the Earth—and, along the way, converting the occasional human into one of them by transfusing blood into them. Oh yeah, there are only male Wraeththu—and their genitalia look like flowers or anemones. (Hence the name I'm trying to popularize for it, MHLD, for Mr. Happy Looks Different.)
The apparently decorative flower on the cover of the core rulebook is, well, not. A flower, that is. The embellishment makes Wraeththu: From Enchantment to Fulfilment perhaps the only RPG with a penis prominently displayed on the front cover.
Though the setting is what most people remember about Wraeththu, it is quite closely modelled on the series of novels that it is based on. It is more the system that is at fault here than the campaign world, which is precisely what it set out to be - a fanguide to a set of obscure pseudo-homoerotic fantasies written by Storm Constantine. The novels have their own cult following. The rules on the other hand include such wonderful faux pas as chainmail armour that provides complete protection from flamethrower damage, collision rules that would result in instant death from kicking a stationary car, falling rules that would have the average human killed every time he tripped, magic rules that were blatantly stolen from the original Mage RPG by White Wolf, and a general system so entirely unsuited to its subject matter that it's somewhat akin to grafting D&D's mechanics onto an episode of Love Story.
- "This is the Wraeththu review you've been waiting for..." thread on RPGnet. Review by Darren MacLennan.
- Jeff Rients review, announced in this thread on RPGnet. More positive than McLennan's.
