Forgotten Freedom:5001 5500
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5101 exemption from punishment for violation of rules 5095 and 5096 will hereby be extended to anyone involved in the recent scheming...
5102 Cabin boy is not the Boy Wonder.
5103 I know he does wondrous things, that's not what I'm referring to and you know it...
5104 Yeah he is an agile little sprite...well that's what cabin boys Do...
5105 WHAT!! US being Gay for each other does not make him my sidek... :bigeyes: !!! WE ARE NOT GAY FOR EACH OTHER!!!
5106 :rant:STOP SNICKERING!! THAT'S IT! Anyone referring to the cabin boy or the captain as being; gay for each other, the dynamic duo or any derivatives there of; will be dipped in holy water, tarred, feathered, liquid keelhauled, then keelhauled
5107 NO I would still be this sensitive about this if I wasn't bat...
5108 FOR THE LAST FRIGGIN TIME I AM NOT BATMAN!!!
5094. I am not allowed to screw around with time.
5095. We all know that Norbaz chilli is spiked, but can everyone stop taking credit for it?
5096. Musnt encourage a demon to possess the chilli.
5097. Terra, just because you have a thing for Lisa, that doesnt mean Devon and Michael will stop making passes at you.
5098. They make passes at just about anything humanoid and female.
5099. Just ask Michael about the medusa incident.
5100. Devons poetry is not to be used to interrogate prisoners.
5101. We do have -some- humanity, after all.
5102. Pholly is hereby forbidden to ferment the chilli.
5103. Next person to spike the coffee....dies.
5104. No trial.
5105. No appeal.
5106. DIES.
5107: Terra is no longer allowed to enter drinking contests. We simply don’t have the storage capacity.
5108: No, not even if you can make the stuff yourse-what? Seriously?
5109: I stick by 5107. I agreed to let you use the crew as guinea pigs, but NO ONE messes with MY booze.
5110. Lisa is not your own, personal Jesus.
5111. This means you, Michael.
5112. The captain, on the other hand....
5113. She isnt much on forgiving, either.
5114. She does hand out a lot of 'blessed beatings', though.
5115. Jaela is not, in any way, shape or form, the personal Jesus of anyone on this bucket.
5116. Yes, this means you.
5117. Until further notice, Norbaz' 12 alarm chili is food.
5118. It is not a weapon.
514- it is NOT the end of the world as we know it, and you do NOT feel fine
515- THIS IS NOT THE HMS PINAFORE
516 you cannot fly in Sharn
517 nor can you use a smole ladder to climb through sharn
518 you are NOT Long John Silver, even if you have a pet lobster and one leg
519 the first mate is not to be referred to as Mr. Arrow
520 iam not Captain Smallet
514- we do NOT reed to take the left turn at albaquerquie
5124: Pholly and Phollie are now two seperate entities.
5125: It is imaterial that we made up Phollie.
5126: Phollie is not made of straw.
5127: No, he does not need to see the wizard for a brain.
5128: Ketler, get to work on making Phollie a body before reality collapses and we all die.
5129: Ketler, read rule 5126, AGAIN!
5130: V, just because Terra commands hordes of animals and is apparently freaked out by very little, it does not mean you can refer to her as "fearless leader"
5131: Nor does she employ this "Moose and Squirrel" you keep talking about
5132: Well, ok, she probably does employ at least some members of those species, but that's beside the point
5133: No, Nalfien is not really a drow.
5134: No, he is not from Forgotten Realms.
5135: No, he is not Drizzt's older brother.
5136: No, he is not really dead.
5137: Him going to sigil Prep is not evidence that he can ingore canon material.
5138: No, the Gatekeepers do not run around in shaders and dark suits, using a flashing wand to erase our memories of the fact that abberrations live among us as normal people.
5139: Despite what Kithle claims.
5140: No, a race of gliding half-dragons that turn to stone during the day does not live in Sharn and protect the people.
5141: Even if they did, they would not have a friend on the watch who is a hot female half-drow inquisative.
5107. There will be no abberational armies allowed onboard the Forgotten Freedom from this point on.
5108. This applies to existing abberational armies.
5109. No, you won't have any problem with disposing of yours....
5110. You see, I assigned our chili chef to feed them.
5111. Yes, they're all dead.
5112. Yes, even the undead ones.
5113. I know you're vowing vengeance.
5114. What's the word I'm looking for? Oh yes, too bad.
5115. Michael is no longer allowed to flip out and kill everyone whom mentions his sister in a manner that can remotely be construed as sexual.
5116. I believe that's called taking a level in Berserker.
5117. There is no one allowed to mock the Captain's love poetry to Aerith.
5118. That includes dressing Jacob up as Aerith in order to get at the chocolate I buy for her.
5119. Marish is forbidden to eat it as well....
5120. Even if I can't stop her once she starts wagging her tail.
5121. Mickey Nine Fingers is forbidden from pulling out a shotgun and blowing the head off people whom come to him for problems that don't need his attention.
5122. Or just for the hell of it.
5123. Even if he bandages the wound.
5124. You shall not imply the Captain isn't Epic Level.
5125. You shall certainly not do that by wrapping him up in a burlap sack and beating him to test his hit points.
5126. The Captain does not need to prove his epic levels, he is simply that badass.
5127. The Captain DID TOO beat Khyber and implying he didn't is punishable by being forced to walk the Plank.
5128. It is wrong to make the plank sentient Ketler.
5129. Or to give her a female personality so John won't be lonely.
5130. The fact that Andrea bound the personality of a late crew member to it doesn't make it any better either.
5131. It is wrong to tell Marish that she's getting pudgy to get her to do catrobics.
5132. It is wrong to tell Michael purposely awful advice to court Lisa.
5133. No one is allowed to tell Michael that his Dragon Magazine Bhaalspawn template is worthless in Eberron.
5134. No one is allowed to play Baldur's Gate in front of him and point out how successful their characters are by comparison.
5135. Our drow crew member is forbidden to mock Drizzt.
5136. It was funny at the start but someone please let him out of the closet.
5137. It is wrong to make the joke "Drizzt Do'Urden won't come out of the closet"
5138. At least as many times as you've made it.
5139. Dooj, please stop moping about the fact Michael has fallen in love with Lisa....
5140. Yes, I know you like him THAT way but its really....
5141. Oh crap, did I just share that secret of yours with the entire crew?
5142. Ummm...pretend I never said that.
5143. As Captain I insist on a cut of all artifacts and magical items equal to my station...say....100% minus items that suck like the Eye of Vecna and 'talky' items like this sword "Stormbringer."
5144. Its impolite to speculate about my ever changing backstory.
5145. No, I am NOT Batman.
5146. I was just a billionaire Sharn Doctor's son that saw his family gunned down in a filthy ally before learning everything to fight crime.
5147. Andrea, you are forbidden from plotting against Terra's life.
5148. Yes, I know that there's not room for any other sexually alternate evil magicians but that's beside the point.
5149. The crew is forbidden from nominating new captains to replace me by the following methods...
5150. Lotto.
5151. Amateur porn video competition.
5152. Ritual Combat (wait that IS how I'm the Captain)
5153. For those who challenge me to ritual combat, we shall settle it by the manner of swords and pistols. You get the swords, I get the pistols.
5154. ...And that is why I am still captain.
5155. You cannot nominate the following people for Captain...
5156. Batman...
5157. The Master...
5158. Margeret Thatcher...
5159. Homer Simpson...
5160. Skeletor...
5161. Starscream...
5162. Cobra Commander...
5163. Colonel Klink....
5164. Keith Baker
5165. It is wrong to inform Stupid that Scholar is just one of his alternate personalities.
5166. From now on, all crew member Red Shirts will be recruited from the "Smith Clan" and be named John.
5167. I'm the captain Stop following Kithle.
5168. I'm the captain Stop following Smig, and Chalky.
5169. Speaking of which, I'm green and stuck.
5170. Don't turn my gawd damn ship into an episode of Friends.
5171. Don't come to me with your relationship questions...
5167. There is no such thing as Materia
5168. Jarlot's nickname is not Cloud, because this is not Final Fantasy
5169. The fact that the two girls who are interested in him are Tifa and Aeris/Aerith is only a slight coincedence
5170. Jarlot does not know how to wield a sword larger than himself
5171. He does not have a rival named Sephiroth who wants to destroy the world
5172: If a crewmember has not shown up for meals in two weeks or has not been seen in five days, the responsibility to have meals brought to those crewmembers rooms falls to whoever at the time is subordinate under the Cooky foor KP duty, if no one is assinged to KP duty, the responsibility falls upon the Cooky.
5173: NO MORE DUPLICATES, pholly/ie was onething, Igor/Igor is not going to cause a mess, but does anyone really want to think about the damage cloning Kithle or Satnak might cause. Heavens forbid someone clones Tifa.
You may not, under any circumstance when playing through Shadow of the Last War decide to drop adventuring to convert whitehearth into an inn. Even if it already apears to be convinently supplied.
Under no circumstances will you take a page from Rorsa's book on the dinning menu.
Nor will you convert the eldritch device into a band stage.
Nor will you have the artificer change the mechanic in the scry room to change with detect thought instead of being constant on the now ballroom.
NO you cna not glue spikes on your warforged companion and start to call him pokey, or any other derragtory refrence fo the lord of blades as a tourist attraction.
Under no circumstances will you steal the laudry basin so you don't have to worry about dirty clothes.
When approaching the gaurds in rose quarry, you will not hide and have the warforged, no matter how accurate it seems, run through screaming death to fleshies, and then lead the guards on a wild goosechase under the concept that warforged can run forever. Then expect the gaurds to come back fatigued after you burned the base down.
- 5177: A note to redshirts, under no circumstances are you to ambush an emerald claw patrol in terrain like Rose Quarry and then make camp immediatly adjacent to the site of your battle. Particularly when you know full well that a large and well supplied camp is only a quarter of a mile away. Failure to obey this rule will result in your remains and immortal soul being turned over to Andrea for "recreational" purposes. Thank you, please drive through.
5178) Neither Jingo nor Ninja Jeala are Yuffie. 5179) Volrath does not have Jenova, in his closet. 5180) That's a Shoggoth! 5181) Lisa is not Celes. 5182) Kelter, I don't care how well it would fit with your fan fiction. 5183) Terra's father is not a wolf shifter. 5184) Terra may not taunt Tifa by saying "My game's better than your game." 5185) Sa'vor does not have a katana taller than he is. 5186) Nor does he have flowing white hair. 5187) Kelter's playstation is confinscated.
5188: I am not Captain Kangaroo 5189: Volrath's bunny is not that Bunny Rabbit 5190: No one is to get me to say pingpong ball- *KAFWOOSSHHHH* -ever again. :mad:
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