Crack from the OoC

"This game is Sin City, as done by the cast of Final Fantasy Advent Children, while on heroin PCP, and written by Jim Butcher channelling Hunter S. Thompson, Robert E. Howard, and William Gibson."

Looks like the Maiden of Weaving finally got drunk enough to compile the commentary of the pattern spiders in AlphaOmega...
This is a running list of as much of the silliness from the game's OoC.

Forum Silliness

As a note, these are filed by who started it.

Aincumis

Movie Crew Ellipse

Avilister

Robert's reaction to Cassidy wanting to be Little Red Riding Hood
"Supernaturally influential mob boss meets shapeshifting canine poker player - they fight crime!"

• Mpascal's pitch for Las Vegas by Night
  • "Don't forget the virgin femme fatale!" "Already brought down a different mob boss through her fatal influence! ;)"

"Rob isn't able to come to the phone right now. Its currently melded into his flesh/in another dimension. Please try again later."

AstraKiseki

How to get more willpower, from Captain Obvious
The Cheese Stands Alone "DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS!"

• "ESPICALLY NOT WITH ME IN THE LINE OF HEAD CHOPPING!"
  • "And you wonder why I was holding off on any sort of Charm use. 7SE, away!!!"

Dakkareth

Dakk's description of John Palmer's method
"Oh. Well, now we have assurance in triplicate."
"It's not an Exalted battle unless..."
"*BEEP* "Oh, just in case you are done early - surprise, there's a zombie plague outside! But don't worry, we can deal with it. Probably. Success is relative after all ..."
"The only question is how much pain and suffering will be spread around in the process."

• *twitch, quiver* Is this enough pain for you my lords? *wheeze*
  • *compassion roll* Sure, why not?
    • < First Age Solar>Your agony is so beautiful ... Keep doing that, would you kindly?< /First Age Solar>

Look for a building with its top floor blasted off, you'll find us at the bottom of a stairwell now open to the sky.

• ":eek:"

"Heheheh, that's right, another point of resonance for you."

• "Don't you just love doing that?"
  • "I can't help but think that it will come to bite us in the ass later, but yes, I do."

Khayin

"I'm sorry, Gabriel Cordova is not available to take your call right now. He is currently incarcerated in a maximum-security Technocracy holding facility, while the Brujah Antediluvian is pulling a 'The Ring' on him. Please leave a message and he will call you back, assuming he doesn't get Embraced, brain-washed, turned into an Abyssal, or just outright killed. Beep!"

Li of Orchid

Darius's reaction to being threatened with 'reversing the Essence polarity.'
Excuse for pulling out the sword. Sure.
"I'm sorry, Darius Prescott is not available to take your call right now. He is currently occupied walking the road to hell. Please leave a message and he'll get back to you, if he isn't swallowed by the Demon Emperor and trapped in an eternity of agony and pain. Beep!"

Meriss

"My killing machine of a future wife."
"Hey, look what I found for a song, the Dark Chest of Wonders."

• "Bad pun for the Lover's breasts?"

Mpascal02

Reaction to Sui Mae's getting the media's attention
"the only thing John might have done/do before Brown's departure is sanctify his "I'm going to go suicide in Oblivion all alone" statement. Just to be safe."

• "Wow. That's cold. Ice-cold. Cold like the depths of interstellar space, cold."
  • "I try. ~_^"

Chat Crack

Khayin finding out that Hate is Samuel Haight:
(9:51:26 PM) Khayin: I was hoping I'd never have to see him again. Ten years later, he is back to haunt me! I can hear his battle cry now...
(9:51:35 PM) Khayin: "THE NINETIES HAVE RETURNED!!!"