A Glimpse Inside
Friday, 09 Mar 2525
En route to Beylix
Sitting in the bar, Tian had taken a seat in the far corner where she was less likely to be either bothered or spotted. There was a glass of beer in front of her, about 3/4ths empty, and from her position with her back to the corner behind her the good doctor had stretched her legs out into the seat next to her. After all, who knew when there'd be time to relax again?
As if she were relaxed anyway, Tian acknowledged silently. She rather thought the last time she'd truly relaxed had been....On Boros. Vandenburg was an assignment she'd been liking forward to. She'd always felt that her skills were far more needed on the border worlds, but she'd been Navy through and through and she'd had a son to raise. Opportunities for travel had been far more limited than she'd ever expected after Danny died.
Her thoughts turned toward the mess that she now found herself in, and Tian couldn't help but wonder -- yet again -- if this whole group would be better off if she simply went walkabout, taking those gorram guns with her.
Poco watched her from across the room. The doctor hadn't seen him yet, or if she had she hadn't acknowledged. She looked lost in thought, in memories. Apparently it was a good day for it. He swirled his drink again before finally muttering a few choice words under his breath and heaving his bulk out of his chair. He slunk across the room and collapsed into the chair across from Tian. She appraised him with a raised eyebrow and he took another drink, for courage.
"Doc, look. I...about this girl, whatshername. I..." as Poco wound up for a lengthy berating about the dangers of getting involved, he found himself sputtering to a stop. He paused and drank again. "Why?" he finally asked, without really knowing what he was asking. Partially a question, partially a plea. "Why?" he repeated.
Tian appraised her warming beer before replying, showing the same deft, graceful economy of motion as she picked up the glass and took a healthy swallow that she'd shown while stitching him up after his gunshot wound. When the glass once more rested on the table in front of her, one hand toyed with it as she pondered the various angles of the not-so-simple query.
"I could list out perhaps half a dozen or more reasons, Poco," she finally said slowly. "But I'm not exactly sure which, if any of them, would even be the truth." She looked up and met his eyes. "It's not in me to walk away when someone is in pain. Not if I can help them. It's why I was a medic and a doctor, not really a soldier. It's why I'm in the situation I'm in right now. It's just who I am." Tian paused and thought a little about it. "Frankly, I wish in some ways there had been another option. I feel like if Nuri is hurt, it's on my head."
"Phaw," Poco spat. "She's better off than dead, eh? But no. It's more than what you did, it's why you did it. Look, all the times 'fore I've seen you make the sensible choice. Ferdinand shot in the head, nobody could help, you moved on. The Boss got his brains rattled by a gorram anti-aircraft gun and you rushed past him to get to the gunner. I've seen you leave injured in our wake. Made the most sense. But this time you rushed head-first into a place that didn't want you to fix this girl's pop and then you piled even more crazy on top that with the....whatever it was that you did to her. I just don't...what did you get out of it?" Poco looks up, gruff facade grimly, determinedly set and repeats, "What did you get out of it?"
Tian looked a touch puzzled as she thought over his query. "I didn't get anything out of it," she replied. "In the examples you cite, we were in danger and/or under fire. I can't stop to deal with the injured unless the immediate threat is either neutralized or you guys have it in hand. There was no such stress in this situation. This girl... She asked for my help. I knew that I could give it. It really was that simple. And then she essentially up and tried to die in front of me -- I couldn't just LET her die without attempting to help. She's little more than a child."
Poco rocked back in his chair and tapped out a cigarette, lighting it without letting his eyes leave Tian. He took several long, concentrated drags before he let his eyes drop to the table and mumbled something unintelligible. "You're crazy. Absolutely crazy. I've been from one side of the 'verse to the other and I've never seen anyone..." he trailed off again. What kind of lunatics had he managed to stow away with? He hunched forward intently and finally let go with a barrage. "So let me get this straight. You knew 'lilah was hot; the Feds likely knew we were on Newhall and were incoming. You kept us on planet and plopped us down in the middle of an angry tribe and tried to convince them to take medicine they didn't want. Then you performed an extremely risky procedure, that would've probably got us in all sorts of trouble if it had gone wrong. And you did all of this because a girl--a girl you didn't even know--ASKED you to?!" Poco sat back in exhausted disbelief.
Tian studied him while he smoked and muttered, absurdly amused by his apparent lack of comprehension of something so basic as compassion. "Yes," she responded simply. And at his abject disbelief, she actually laughed softly. "Is it really so difficult to understand, Poco? The very fact that someone asked for my help meant that I gave it, just because I could?"
Poco sputtered again and pushed back violently from the table upsetting his chair. He staggered to his feet, looking a bit like a rabbit caught out in the hunt. "Crazy. Absolutely crazy." He thought back through all the heists he had pulled. All the families that he'd been a part of and found that these past few weeks had been different. Unique. He opens his mouth without thinking. "Listen doctor," he said, "If you ever pull anything like that again...." he trailed off and looked around before pushing on. "If you ever...if you ever do this again, you count me in, OK? Just you though. Boss asks, I won't have no part of it. Anybody but you, and I'll stay here with my engines." Damn his mouth. He was always saying things he shouldn't. Always getting himself in trouble.
For a moment Tian glimpses the boy that was ruthlessly hounded on the streets. The man who's hands have been singed by a thousand betrayals. And then the moment is gone and he puffs up again, gruff exterior donned like armor. "Doctor. Thanks for the drink," he says stiffly. And with that odd exchange he saunters away from the table, once again the incorrigible engineer.
Tian was silent following his offer and when he shoved himself away from the table she had still not managed to come up with a response, so startled by his actions that words escaped her for those crucial seconds. But even as he walked away, a faint smile curled the corners of her lips. She'd begun to like the crotchety man a bit as they traveled, and it was nice to see that her judgement was still solid. He was a good man. Sometimes enlightened self-interest was the only way to survive in a Verse where most people'd just as likely stab you in the back as share a drink with you. She was beyond flattered to have been allowed even this far inside Poco's defenses, to be offered just that tiny glimpse of the man behind the armor. She would bet that he didn't let very many people see even that much very often. I won't tell anyone your secret, she promised silently.
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