A Turning Point

Many thanks go out to Andy for working on this one with me. Thanks, Andy!

Saturday, 24 May 2521
Peña Spaceport, Kerry
Georgia (Huang Long) system
2345 hrs, local time

Joshua had brought me dinner when I forgot to go down for it. I was working on the top hull, getting that sensor array repaired. I’d stopped for the night and was trying to make sense of You Ge’s assassination and Mike’s alleged part in it when he found me, sitting with my knees to my chest and trying hard not to cry in frustration. I sucked it up when he clambered topside and currently we both lay flat on our backs looking at the night sky.

You going to be okay? he’d asked.

I don’t know, I’d answered. God’s truth, I didn’t. I only knew that the assassination was already more than two months gone and whatever would have happened to Mike was likewise air through the engine. With the Cortex down, I had no way to verify if he still lived or if the authorities had executed him. And with the Alliance effectively non-existent outside the Core, the law was what each planet and moon and cluster made of it and they all had their own jurisdictional variants. If the Feds had been harsh for crimes of this nature, I had little hope the nascent governments taking their place would be lenient. In point of fact, I expected them to be harsher than the system they replaced, as everyone scrambled to solidify power and restore order in the chaos.

And there was much in the way of chaos to contain. Piracy, for one. Reavers for another…which thought brought me upright. Images of the grain silo filled my head. As gruesome as the scene had been, the rest of the crew were blissfully blind to the psychic aspects of it. Thanks to our salvage job off the Orcus, I knew Joshua wasn’t so lucky.

“The hell with me,” I said. “What about you?”

***

Joshua was a little thrown off by the sudden vehemence of her response. He sat up alongside her and looked over at her for a minute and then said questioningly, “I'm fine? All things considered, anyway. Worried about you, honestly, but managing otherwise.”

He kept up the questioning stare for a minute and then threw his hands up a little in the air. “Okay, I concede. What's suddenly got you so worried about me?” He had long ago given up seriously trying to figure out exactly how her thought patterns worked.

***

His attitude threw me and I turned around completely to face him. I gave his hand a little shake and modulated my tone. I didn’t want him to think I was angry at him.

“I remember how bad the Orcus job was for you.” God, I remembered. “That silo was… Hell would have been prettier, Joshua. Are you saying you didn’t get anything off that scene? At all?

***

Ohhhhhh. Now he understood. “Of course, I got stuff off that scene. Besides all the initial wave of psychic backlash, remember that I read a victim and then promptly threw up. But I think I'm okay.”

Why was he okay? It had been the worst thing he had ever seen, by far. A casual dismissal of the value of human life and dignity. Then he thought back on the very small smile Beast had given him before she had been taken away by the people looking out for her in the city. “Thinking about it, I think I know why I'm handling it better, despite the situation being worse. We walked away with a victory. We saved those kids. It may not make what happened there okay, but it gives me something to hold on to, you know?”

***

“You're right. I won't venture any claims as to their emotional well-being, but at least they're out of the slaughterhouse. It's not perfect but it's something.” I looked at him closely, wishing things between us were different but unwilling to transgress. “If you need to talk or anything, I'm here.”

Lame. Lame. Lame. But sincerity didn't need pithiness, it just needed to be expressed.

***

“You know the same goes for you, right?” How was he supposed to ask her how she was feeling about the news about Mike when he wasn't sure how he wanted her to feel? For that matter, how he felt about it all? He should just ask her. But then all sorts of doors would open up that he wasn't prepared to have open again. Crap. Stupid life and its ability to throw you for a loop when you think you're settled.

***

Damned words are getting in the way.

I put my arms around Joshua and held him close and as I had during the Orcus job, there was nothing of ardor in it. I only hoped it would convey everything I couldn't find the words to say.

***'

As Joshua wrapped his arms around Rina in return, he looked up into the sky. Somewhere out there, Mike was waiting for Rina to come to the rescue. I need to be prepared to lose her. Then what he had just said to her floated back into his head, as if reprimanding him.

We never really lose people forever, I think. Just separate from them for a while.

“We'll be okay,” he said quietly to no one in particular, not completely sure if he even meant it. The silence of the night air quickly absorbed his words, leaving him with the comforting presence and warmth of Rina's body pressed up against him.

***

Go back to: Timeline Season Four, April 2521 to Dec 2521

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