Coming to Terms
Thank you Terri!!!
You were an old fool! Rachel chided herself. Weren't no call for that. She made her way to the doctor's room, painfully aware that she didn't have a pie, an apple, or anything to give as an apology. Just her pride and that would have to do.
Sitting her in room, the creeping guilt had started to weigh on her, her child's and grandchildren's eyes on her. Rosalie woulda called her on her words and she sure wasn't being a good role model for her little ones. Memaw had shown her heels for certain. She had no call to hit Tian with Freddie again; they had laid that to rest and digging it up wasn't fair to Tian.
But something in what Tian had said had gotten to her and it had taken an hour for her to suss out what had gotten under her craw.
She wasn't a pirate or a bad guy, cruelly and heartlessly taking and abusing the populace at whole. And neither was any of them. Val had done what he had to do to protect them, used the only leverage he felt he had left. But that didn't make them the people in the black hats. It just didn't. Rachel had seen a glimpse of a leader in him in that moment, a captain that she'd back because he cared for them. And it had just rubbed her wrong that Tian hadn't seen it that way.
Still didn't excuse what she had said tho'. She raised a hand to knock on the sill.
The door opened and Tian raised an eyebrow. "Hey, Rachel," she greeted easily. Stepping back, she invited the other woman in with a gesture of her hand. Quarters might be a bit tight, but not so bad that good manners should be ignored. She was uncertain what brought the pilot to her door, but she held no ill will over the argument. In many ways, Rachel had been right in what she'd said. "What's up?"
"I owe you an apology Tian. We came to terms about Freddie and I brought him back up. I was wrong." She leaned against the doorframe with frown. "You didn't deserve that."
A single brow quirked upward and Tian eyed Rachel. "Don't worry about it," she said in a dismissive tone. "You're entitled to your opinions. Just because we came to terms doesn't mean that you're done dealing with his loss." It didn't mean Tian was done dealing with her part in his loss, either. But that was neither here nor there. "I don't need an apology."
Rachel made a face. "Well," she started and then bit her lip. "Ya sure? Cus' I sure 'nuff feel like I owe ya one."
Tian shook her head. "I don't think you owe me anything," she repeated. "Your opinions are your own, and I was apparently making a bit of a fool of myself." She shrugged slightly. "It's over and done."
The pilot studied the doctor, a light frown underlining her age. "It wasn't Freddie as much as the inference that we were on the wrong side Tian. I don't want you to think we're a bunch of evil, selfish sons of bitches. I'm not proud of everything I've done, but it's a different world out here." Her lips twisted into a wry smile. "Sometimes right and wrong are hard to see and harder if you're not standing in the right spot."
To that, Tian offered a faint smile. "Well, it's most assuredly a whole different Verse than the one I've lived in for the past 5 decades." She sighed, gesturing Rachel to a seat. "I don't think you're all a bunch of evil, selfish people, Rachel.... I've just never had to do the things we're doing out here. I've never had to worry about survival, except in terms of combat situations. I've never wondered where my next meal was coming from. The most I ever had to worry about was whether I might get orders while my son was too young to accompany me. And because I'm a doctor and could go anywhere at all, it never happened. So being out here, like this? Essentially on the run and not feeling like there are very many people to trust and TOO many people in the line of fire because of me? It doesn't set well."
Rachel sat down and although she fought it, she finally gave into the grin. "You'll understand your poorer patients a little better." She settled into the chair a little more comfortably. "And think of it as a strategic retreat Tian. We just don't have a way to fight back against those SOBs yet. That Mr Christiansen may have sorta won a battle, but war ain't over yet."
"I suppose I will," Tian acknowledged. She was quiet, perhaps uncertain what to say next. "Lt. Christian .... " She then smirked. "Well, were I to say what I think of him, I'd have to use language that I haven't used since I was on a battlefield." She looked rather impish at that.
"And he'd deserve it." Her own eyes twinkled. "So why'd you fall on the sword, Tian? I kinda sussed it out from comments, but it'd be nice to know why a nice woman like you ended up on the other side of an ass like him."
Both brows shot upward. "Why'd I fall on what sword? I have absolutely no idea how I wound up on his bad side... though it's looking pretty gorram personal, isn't it? I need to figure it out, but I don't know if I can get the information on why from out here."
"I guess I'm not being specific in my question darlin'," Rachel drawled. "Why'd you leave the military and volunteer to dole out free vaccines to the Verse at large? You seem to be a fish outta water."
Ah. That question. Tian pursed her lips. "I already told you I was on Boros. The navy retreated from the planet and essentially carpet-bombed the place on their way out. They probably had their reasons, but... whatever those reasons were, I was down on the ground in the aftermath. Too many civilians, Rachel... too many innocent people hurt. And in my opinion, there was no excuse for that. I went home and I tried to continue my work... but I kept seeing all the innocents in my head. And I wanted to help those people."
"You're a good woman." Rachel nodded in agreement with her words. "And maybe too good to fight against something so bad." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "You have the wonderful job of being our moral compass it seems." Her blue ones twinkled again as she opened them. "And it seems, we have the chore of teaching you how to sometimes see North as South." She rose to her feet. "You're welcome to come escape to the cockpit when you want. I usually got tea in my room, more than like an apple or two I'll share. I may bore you with stories of my girl and my grandbabies, but you're welcome to take a break from everything with me."
Tian laughed softly. "I might bore you with stories of my son, too. But I'd like that, Rachel. Thank you." She had a feeling she and the pilot were going to butt heads a lot, but perhaps they'd also become friends. It'd be nice to have someone not quite as young as the rest of their merry band around.
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