Crossroads of Tea and Karma
Crossroads of Tea and Karma
Continued from Recollections of Tea and Karma and A Tea Ceremony, Interrupted
Part 1: In the Petitionser's Hall; An Unexpected Turn of Events
Grey Horizon could not help but sigh as he took his place at the back of the endless line in the Petitioner's Hall. Not but fifteen mortal minutes prior, he had been the delegate to a high-ranking member of the enigmatic Gold Faction. Now, he was just another petitioner consigned to wait in line until his plea could be heard. Unemployment is a dangerous state for a minor bureaucrat; it was not unknown for a functionary such as himself to starve from lack of essence long before the Placement Committees could approve a new appointment.
Ahead of him in line stood a minor southern pebble-god, a sort not known for their deep conversational skills. Grey steeled himself for a long wait.
Three days later, something unexpected happened. "I believe I can help you," said a soft, deep voice behind him. There was no mistaking the voice; Grey had spoken with Chokhan XVSSR the very morning that he had been dismissed from his post.
"Kussir-san, it is good to see you." It was in Grey's very nature to be diplomatic, and he masked his bitterness well. "If you've changed your mind and wish to speak with His Excellency, I'm afraid I can't help you; His Excellency has dismissed me from his service."
"I have no business with your former master, Grey. And you shall address me as 'Kussir-dono', for I am drafting you into my service."
Grey's eyes widened in shock.
Part 2: Surveying the Scorched Plains overlooking the Nameless Ravine
"Such a waste. Such a terrible, terrible waste."
The Blue-Robed One - I dare not speak his name; I will call him merely The Agent - surveyed the wreckage. A pile of scattered ashes where once stood an ancient estate. Empty crates still smelling faintly of tea. Silence where once the bustling of commerce and the chittering of monkeys filled the air.
Bare rock, on slopes where once the finest Tea in all Creation grew. The Agent's master wept when the news arrived that this estate had burned. Wept! The Master was not one to weep over the fate of hundreds of thousands of mortals crushed under the mistakes of one or another overworked celestial bureaucracy. Yet he wept for these workers, for the monkeys, for the tea leaves of this humble, ruined estate.
The Agent could feel the a malignant glowering of essence from deep within the ravine. The Nameless God of the Nameless Ravine resented the outsider's presence. No matter; the Agent was not hear to treat with the Nameless God. The Agent was here to investigate the odd and unforseen flows of essence that welled up from the ruins.
The Agent waited until night fell, and under a moonless sky, the starlight revealed what was hidden by the blinding light of day: a remarkably pure shaft of Essence emanating up from the very center of the ruined hall.
"So bright... it can't be not a Shadowland." He stretched out his hand towards the wellspring of energy. "Pure, so pure..."
A flash of light. The Agent found himself in the center of a spartan, yet immaculately built hall. Every inch of every wall stood covered by scrolls of exquisite calligraphy. In the center of the room stood a small iron tea kettle upon a stand. The tea kettle was clearly the source of essence fountain. The Agent reached for the kettle -
- And then a robed Monkey wielding a shimmering Orihalcum tetsubo clubbed him on the head. The world exploded in pain.
Part 3 Subpart 1: In Which (Very) Recent History Is Amended
- And then the Agent ducked just in time as a Monkey wielding a shimmering Orihalcum tetsubo attempted to club him on the head. The Agent spun, and drew a dagger from his robes, only to see a second robed Monkey, this one wielding a jade staff, leap from behind the first and strike his kneecap. The Agent crumpled to the ground, writing in agony.
Part 3 Subpart 2: In Which A Further Amendation Is Implemented
- And then the Agent ducked just in time as a Monkey wielding a shimmering Orihalcum tetsubo attempted to club him on the head. The Agent spun and raised his knife, sidestepping and fouling the strike of a second monkey - this one armed with a jade staff.
By now, the hall was filled with the elusive glimmer of starlight essence. The Agent drew his second knife, as the two monkeys circled him warily, their glimmering weapons held high. They held this pose for five agonizing minutes, until a voice cut through the silence.
"Raging Panda! Leaf-Catcher! Have you no manners? Offer the guest some tea!" Both Monkeys abruptly shifted from their forepaws to their prehensile tails, then clasped their forepaws together and bowed deeply.
To the Agent's great surprise, he recognized the speaker. "You are Grey Horizon, His Excellency my master's former delegate to the Bureaucracy."
Part 4: In Which An Assassin, A Bureaucrat, And Two Monkey Sit Down And Have A Civilized Conversation
Grey Horizon bowed deeply. "And you are The Azure Hand of His Excellency, my former master. I regret to inform you that my current master is away on an errand. As a consolation, can I offer you some tea? It's Five-Fold Monkey-Picked, steeped in waters from the River of Stars."
The Agent put away his knives. "Tea would be most welcome, and Five-Fold Monkey Picked is scarce these days. You do me great honor by offering it."
The Monkeys put down their weapons, and one retrieved a teacup from a laquerware chest and held it steady as the second monkey poured the tea into it. He then passed the cup to Grey Horizon, who, bowing deeply, handed the teacup to The Agent. "Douzo".
"Domo arigato gozaimasu". The Agent drunk deeply. The tea was excellent; transcendent and quaffable. Unsurprisingly, it was laced with essence. Surprisingly, the essence was... "Solar! This is Solar essence!"
"Ah, yes it is," said Grey. "The Unconquered Sun himself has given my master Chokhan Fifteenth Son Shatters the River rights to wear the Solar anima of his son, the Dawn Caste known as The Nameless Ravine."
The Agent frowned. "My master will be deeply puzzled to hear this. How is it that a mere mortal's shade was given such a magnificent boon?"
The monkey known as Raging Panda scowled and fingered his tetsubo. "Be careful, good sir," said Gray, "you should address my master by his proper station. He is Chokhan Fifteenth Son Shatters The River, the Kussir, the Disciplined Brush, Monkey-Friend, the Cultivator of a New Era, the First Martyr for the New Solar Deliberative. Simply put, my master has been elevated to Godhood. You are sitting in his sanctum."
The Agent's frown deepened. Grey continued. "The bodyguards were a gift from the god Monkey, who needs no introduction. The tea kettle was a gift from Urchai-kun, who appreciated my master's diligent appreciation for tea. Other gods gave him gifts as well; a fine brush from Eiji-Happo, and a pair of sandles from the Patron of Missionaries."
The Agent's frown was now an outright scowl. He asked "And where did the funds come from to elevate him in the first place? In this Time of Tumult, the bureaucracy can ill afford to invoke the Charms of Apotheosis."
"Ahh..." Grey Horizon hesitated, and then made another bow. "I believe they withdrew the funds from an improbably large slush fund that His Excellency Your Master (also His Excellency My Former Master) had accumulated over the years. When I was in charge of the registers, it was documented in the six-hundred-and-fourteenth scroll in the ninety- ninth Room of Records."
Grey Horizon looked genuinely uncomfortable at this point. He bowed again, and continued: "When the Estate of the Nameless Ravine was destroyed in spite of your master's self-declared oversight of the production of rare teas, a great many Chairbeings of a great many subcommittees were outraged, called for an immediate audit. That's when they found the slush fund, reappropriated it, and used a portion of it to perform the Charm of Apotheoisis. Your Master was away at the time interviewing new applicants to fill my former role, and last I heard he was still looking. I'm not terribly surprised that he hasn't found out yet."
The Agent abrupty rose and bowed briefly. "He should be informed at once. I should go." As if on cue, the monkey known as Leaf-Catcher rose and slid aside a wall panel, through which the ruins of the Estate of the Nameless Ravine could be seen. The Agent turned to leave.
"Ah, before you go," said Grey, "do you know if your master has found out where Erdene is hiding?"
The Agent paused at the doorway. "Who is Erdene?"
"Ah, erm, never mind. I just thought... no, it is not my place. Fare thee well, and give my regards to my former Master."
The Agent stepped out into the night. When the Leaf-Catcher closed the door behind him, the sanctum - and all traces of the essence-wellspring - vanished into the desolace of the ruined plateau.
