Forgotten Freedom:27
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What Captain Jarlot does when he's not pillaging....
(Sitting on the couch in the Ship's Counsellor's chambers)
Kanatash: How long have you had these destructive tendencies anyway?
Jarlot: To be honest, I used to be a hero.
Kanatash: Oh REALLLYYYYY?
Jarlot: Yes. I wanted to save the world as well as pillage and destroy like any normal adventurer.
Kanatash: This may explain your phobia of outerdimensional evils.
Jarlot: It's a simple morality! I see different, I kill it! It's the definition of Chaotic Good!
Kanatash: Well, if you worship the Silver Flame yes, but tell me how you were traumatized from your adventuring past...
(A Spiky Haired Younger Jarlot holds an enormous sword)
Jarlot: But...but...I want to go fight Chaos too!
Fighter: Sorry, but there's only room for four in the party, Jarlot.
Red Mage: We know you'll understand someday.
Black Mage: Think of this not as a rejection... but as saying we don't want you.
Thief: Also, give us all your money.
Kanatash: And this lead to your problems?
Jarlot: Well I wasn't to be deterred by THAT alone...
(His eyes glazed over)
Jarlot: I had OTHER rejections before it was done...
(A slightly older Jarlot chases after a party that he's struggling to keep up with)
Jarlot: But... but... I know who the Ultimate Evil is! It's been guiding our technology for years! We've got to find the Chrono Trigger.
Chrono: I'm sorry Jarlot but you're just not high enough level for our group.
Magus: BEGONE WITH YOU, FOOL!
Kanatash: I see.
Jarlot: To be honest, women were involved too. I'd just gotten my first job on an airship when some bombs were dropped by my last serious girlfriend.
(First mate Jarlot stares at a red haired girl in a pink dress holding flowers)
Jarlot: But you said you loved me!
Aeris: I know that we were sorta serious Jarlot... but this Clouds guy's really cute. He also wants to go and fight evil. He's even in SOLDIER while you're just a minor scion of House Lyrander.
Jarlot: I can change! Honest!
Aeris: To be perfectly honest, I was only dating you because your spiky hair reminded me of my old boyfriend Zack.
Jarlot: I HOPE YOU DIE IN A CUTSCENE!
Jarlot: Little did I know those would be my last words to her...
Kanatash: Interessstinggggg *telekinetically moves pencil on his notepad*
Jarlot: So tell me Doc, what's wrong with me?
Kanatash: You're a homicidal lunatic with delusions of grandeur and megalomania brought on by countless nervosas that most teenagers get over but you prefer to violently act out.
Jarlot: Oh, thank Dol Dorn. Nothing serious then.
Kanatash: Next week we'll discuss your fear of magical riding ostriches...
Jarlot: Err... can we not discuss that. I'll uhh... have to deal with the recreation I set up for my pirates below.
Kanatash: The ones involving the polymorphed Drow women that enjoy carnage and murderous roleplaying?
Jarlot: uhhh... sure. *wonders what the hell he's talking about*
Kanatash: *picks up notebook* Now I have every key possible to his mind...
(Sa'vor was scrying on Norbaz, and saw what he saw, he smiled. Volrath should have taken him out long before then. he was getting sloppy, Aberrations where all good and fine as soldiers; but they needed to sleep. Poison and pestilence still affected them. Kale looked back at his newset creations; these lithe half-dragons possesed all the abilities of a great wyrm of thier kind. only condensed into a smaller form, the perfect troops, immune to paralysis, fear, famine, disease and only required two hours sleep a day. Shame he only had twenty of them, In his dimensional fortress Sa'vor's hordes of undead, Minotaurs, standard half-dragons and Constructs preped for the battle. His battle plans were laid out, but they wouldn't be required. Sa'vor raised a hand, a crackling, shimmering Vortex formed before him. he stepped through, appearing on the Forgotten Freedom's deck)
(Slip appeared next to him)
Slip: What is to be done?
Sa'vor: We wait, that is all we can do. This is Kithle's fight, but I swear by my Ancestry and the dragon blood that flows through my veins that if Kithle is defeated I shall swallow Volrath's soul.
The creeping shadow behind Norbaz creeps up onto him some more, before covering him entirely. Screams of pain and terror come from within, and then the darkness coalesces into a humanoid form, that of Allen. The fallen body of Norbaz lies at his feet, drained of enough blood to knock him out for a while.
"That will teach you to go messing where you don't belong, chef. You just cook food and kill people, not investigate in things over your head." Allen says to the unconcious assassin chief.
Allen then disapears back into the shadows, going back to his hidden lab.
Volrath: Kelter, have you finished.
Kelter appears to be sealing up some incisions on the aberrations, that fill the galley.
Kelter: Yeah, I've never tried something this complex, but those books you gave me really helped on my methods of item creation.
Volrath : Yes the Mi-go certainly are an inventive bunch. This was one of their greatest acheivements, the immunity chip. It controls all body funtions, thus preventing poison and disease from being harmful, renders all but the strongest electricity harmless, because it no longer disrupts body funtions, they are all in a hivemind together, and best of all it completely removes the need for sleep, and greatly reduces the amount of food needed.
Volrath moves along and eyes a row of humans that have been completely stripped of flesh and are beginning to bloat.
Volrath : Ah yes, our good friends from Thrane. Kelter you have put their skins to good use correct
Kelter (shudders) : Yes, but I don't think my lab will ever be free of the smell.
Volrath : How much more of the Mi-go technology have you been able to replicate?
Kelter : Well the electricity guns, but not many of our troops can use those besides be and the new additions. (nods toward his own lab) I was also able to replicate the image projector. It won't be able to confuse the ubers, but will be able to scatter what redshirts are left, and some crew members with low intelligence and will save, so Dooj, Michael, and well... um, no one else.
Volrath : The only problem is that we are outnumbered, only having three crew members on our side. We need to recruit at least one more. Norbaz possibly, just to get revenge on Allen.
Kelter : What did Allen do to him and how would you know about it? It's not like you talk to many people on this ship to hear the gossip?
Volrath : Oh, Norbaz was scrying on the slaughter we commanded. I sensed this and counter scried. While doing that I saw Allen attack him, and chide him about getting into things he didn't belong in.
Kelter : Yeah, that would really get Norbaz ******, but I'm still not sure he would throw his lot in with you.
Volrath : We'll see.
Kelter : Something that's been bugging me, are you ever going to let Terra out of her room.
Volrath : Oh she'll find her own way out. I just hope that it's after the battle is over. You might want to leave now, see if Norbaz will join us. Besides, I have to summon the last of the Mythos creatures. I don't think you want to see that.
Ketler (shudders again) : Yeah, won't make that mistake again.
Volrath : Be off then, and remember Sa'vor is not to be touched. He is still vital to the prophecy. While the others would be useful, they are not absolutely neccesary.
Kelter leaves the room, as Volrath begins chanting.
Aerith: Ohhhhh blissful and glorious day! The sweet air, the sunshine, and the joy fill my heart with a gentle mirth.
Dooj: Mmmm, now there's a wench I can get behind... hehehehe.
Aerith: Why hello, friend Traveller. I hope you can assist me in my arrival? Is this the Good Ship Forgotten Freedom? I am applying for the position of ship's chaplain since I understand the previous one sadly met an untimely end.
Dooj: Hmmm....what? I was staring at your canetelopes.
Aerith: Why thank you. I pride myself on my wonderful produce. I'm surprised you can see it in my bags.
John: Maam, I welcome you to the good ship... RUN AWAY! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! DANGER! DANGER! STAY FAR AWAY IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY!
Dooj: *walks over and whaps it* YOU SHUT YOUR GORRAM MOUTH HERE KEEL OR I'LL WAVE A TORCH ON YOU AGAIN! Don't scare away any more employees! We need more redshirts.
Aerith: OOOO! A TALKING KEEL! HOW UTTERLY ADORABLE! I just want to hug you!
(Puts some tennis balls on the ends of his spikes)
Dooj: Lady, what are you doing?
Aerith: Oh, I'm childproofing the keel.
Dooj: We don't got no gorram kids around here!
John: I feel... affection for the first time... Oh THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
Aerith: Oh joy! I'm glad I could brighten a fellow sapient's day.
Dooj: A sapi... sap..... a damn talking chair is what you brightened! I blew up the talking commode for obvious reasons.
Aerith: So what do you do on this ship then?
Dooj: Murder, torture, piracy... smuggling... prostitution, terrorism, uhhh... *scratches his head* Hey, John what's the crime where you piss off a ruler?
John: High Treason.
Dooj: Yeah, we got lots of that.
Aerith: Well NO WONDER! The graffiti, garbage, unholy pentagrams... this, my friends, is not an environment safe for honest traders like yourself.
Dooj: Say what?
Aerith: *wraps hankerchief around her head and conjures a magical broom of cleaning* I'm so glad you volunteered to help.
Dooj: I aint touching no soap!
Aerith: *her eyes suddenly become doeish and anime like as stars sprinkle around them*
Dooj: Must... obey... mistress.
(Goes to work cleaning)
Aerith: In the meantime I'll go into the ship's library and see if I can replace all the pornography and Books of Vile Darkness with Winnie the Pooh...
Jarlot: Remember, we're just going to try and find out where Michael buried the treasure....
Michael: I was REALLY... REALLY... drunk....
Dooj: But you outdrunk that der Druidess! Hur hur!
Jarlot: Pirates don't REALLY bury treasure! Why did you have to choose such a crappy town anyway?
Lisa: This used to be Sharn... before the Great Earthquake destroyed it.
Jarlot: Yeah... Earthquake... right.
Aerith: Yes! If we do not recover this stolen property, then how ever will we give it to widows and orphans!
(Everyone pauses and looks at her oddly)
Dooj: Listen, just keep your voice down, gods damnedit, I'm trying to keep a low profile.
(Dooj then pauses as he sees a marble statue in the middle of the place of him)
Dooj: Oh hell.
Lisa: So this is what going mad must feel like.
Dooj. The man they call Dooj... He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor. Stood up to the man and gave him what for. Our love for him now ain't hard to explain. The hero of Breland the man they call Dooj.
Jarlot: Ummm... Dooj, care to shed a little light on this development?
Dooj: No, Jarlot.
Lisa: No, I'm wrong, this is what going mad must feel like.
Our Dooj saw the mudders' backs breakin'. He saw the mudders'lament. And he saw the Monarch takin' every gold and leavin' five cops. So he said "You can't do that to my people." He said "You can't crush them under your heel." So Dooj strapped on his hat and in 5 seconds flat stole everythin' King Boranal had to steal.
He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor. Stood up to the man and gave him what for. Our love for him now ain't hard to explain. The hero of Breland the man they call Dooj.
Now here is what separates true heroes from common folk like you and I. The man they call Dooj he turned 'round his plane and let that money hit sky. He dropped it onto our houses he dropped it into our yards. The man they called Dooj he stole away our pain and headed out for the stars! Here we go! He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor. Stood up to the man and gave him what for. Our love for him now ain't hard to explain. The hero of Breland the man they call Dooj.
Dooj: Ah hell! That's what happened to all that cash!
Jarlot: ...care to explain?
Dooj: Well, I'd signed up for a piracy mission with Michael on this stupid Captain's airship that had more money than sense. Me and Michael were going to steal the guy blind then run off with all the treasure when the Captain started making this bizarre list of rules that made moving around hard. So we got him really drunk but got drunk ourselves and tossed over the money and said that gremlins must have stolen it...
Michael: Oh hell....
Jarlot: Wow, sounds like a real moron you pulled that one over.
Dooj Uhh...yeah.
Jarlot: ...I'm going to have to take a while to figure out how to pay you back for that.
Aerith: I'm sorry, did you guys say something? I heard piracy and then turned my head.
Lisa: They're BANDITS, Aerith.
Aerith: Like a band?
Dooj: In any case... 100,000 gold... untraceable... all over the Cogs!
Aerith: You're a True Hero, Dooj! HEY EVERYONE! YOUR NOBLE AND GLORIOUS HERO DOOJ IS HERE!
Jarlot: Awww... hell.
Dooj: *sniffle* I was almost a real hero back there.
Jarlot: We ended up stealing the money BACK, Dooj.
Dooj: Yeah but... I felt bad about it!
Jarlot: Yeah, you do that Dooj.
Volrath is frantically running through the library, picking up mythos tomes and books in dark speech.
Volrath (talking to books) : It's okay, little babies. I'll get you away from that scary lady and her (shudders) holy fire. Good thing all of Kelter's Jaela mags and Kelter himself slowed her enough for me to save you.
Jarlot: Andrea, I think you're overestimating the detrimental effect Aerith is having on the crew...
Andrea: AM I?
Jarlot: Yes.
Andrea: Need I remind you what happened to George?
Jarlot: Who?
Andrea: He was the ship's wizard.
Jarlot: We had a ship's wizard?
Andrea: Yes, I recruited him. Michael gave him a knife in the eye so he could go up a level. We ended up stuffing him and he became a lich.
Jarlot: Ahhhh yeahhhhh. Now I recall him. What happened to him?
Andrea: Well... he sort of exploded.
Jarlot: Exploded?
Andrea: I've never seen such a nasty turn effect. All the ship's undead are feeling it.
Jarlot: We have undead?
Andrea: A quarter of the crew. You ordered it. Eat less and if prepared Egyptian style, smell nice.
Jarlot: True, rotting flesh rarely matches Dooj's BO.
Elsewhere
Lestat: Oh woe. WOE! Woe to my bitter darkness! Why am I so lonely... I mean aside from killing all my lovers....
Aerith: HI! I think you look you need a hug, Mr. Vampire sir!
(Snuggle)
Lestat: AH! A FEMALE!
(Bursts into flame and turns to ashes)
Aerith: How very strange.
John: That happened to me a lot... except with a lot more gore.
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