Forgotten Freedom:Lang Wang Hung
Long Wang Hung: Human Monk(?)/Rogue(?)
Transported from a plane of existence that is basically a “Humanoid Occupied Landfill” (The HŌL) used to deposit the most despicable of criminals and riff-raff among the Multiverse, Long Wang Hung appeared on the deck of the Forgotten Freedom… fully naked. This caused some amount of drooling from Marish and the Necromancer Chick (Luckily Jaela was below decks at the time). The issuing “catfight” (pun OH so intended) was a sight to see (When exactly did someone install a wrestling ring full of Jell-O™ onto the deck of the Forgotten Freedom? I mean I’m sure somebody would have noticed it before…).
Long Wang preceded to make himself a valued member of the crew with his many “talents” as well his “Bag of Stuff” an item that seems to hold just about ANYTHING one could imagine. To hear Long Wang tell it, the bag is connected to The HŌL. The thing is most of things that come out of the bag are defective in some way, which is why they were in The HŌL in the first place.
One would think that with Long Wang’s abilities and the “Bag of Stuff” that he would try to run things on the Freedom, but he is very happy to take orders from the “Cap’n”. And although he is not much to talk about his stint in The HŌL, Long Wang has this to say “After traversing such delightful locals as ‘The Rusty Razor Ruins’, “The Plains of Discarded Personal Hygiene Products”, and ‘The Diaper Swamps’, this ship and its crew are a welcome reprieve…”
Long Wang Hung’s “Talents”:
“Make Sharp Things Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Bleed”: Ya take the pointy end and ya make a lot of holes. What’s not to understand?
“I Will Kick You Ta Sleep!” aka “That Psycho Bruce Lee Sh*t”: Light Kick-Medium Kick-Heavy Kick Forward to Down To Quarter Circle Forward with Heavy Punch, Half Circle Back, Half Circle Back with Heavy Kick
Repeat as Needed.
“Go For The Sweet Spot”: Ability to know juuuuust how to hit someone where it hurts. And not in a “ow… hey that smarts..” kind of hurt. More of a “SWEET UNHOLY MOTHER OF KYHBER!!! THE PAIN!! OH GODS, THE PAIN!!” sort of hurt. Consider yourself warned.
“Magic Stick”:…. Um…. I don’t really need to explain this one do I…?
“Explain ANYTHING”: Ability to make any explanation, no matter how improbable, seem plausible. I mean someone has to explain away all the crazy stuff that happens on this bucket.
“Ponderous Philosophical Rhetoric”: Ability to go on a long tirade about not a GODS-DAMNED THING!!! Not only that but actual keep the listener's attention!! And by the end of said tirade the listener is so completely dumbfounded as to have the mental capacity of lukewarm tapioca pudding.
“View Huge Amounts Of Bloody Mutilation And Still Eat Fast Food”: “Yep, looks like someone decided to play cat’s cradle with the redshirt’s intestines… and that was before they removed his internal organs, sliced them into thin sheets, and spread them around the body. I mean, who knew the human body had so much blood. Man, the stuff is everywhere…. *crunch* *chew* *munch* …Egg roll?"
