Lagniappe

It never ceases to amaze me what Andy can dream up. He has a deft hand at describing the little internal things that floors me. Thanks, Andy!--Maer.

Tuesday, 09 Jul 2521
Kuiper II class, Summer’s Gift
En route to Meridian
1530hrs, ship’s time

I’d been in Christian’s shuttle on many occasions but none of the time had been spent in its cockpit. Sitting in the pilot’s chair in the dropship with the clear canopy all around, the stars surrounded me the way they never could on the bridge of the Gift. We were in pulse and the stars were going by fast. It was beautiful. Achingly so.

Nika should see this, I thought. But for now, I want to enjoy it. So I sat in the quiet, tools forgotten in hand, and watched the Verse go by.

***

Joshua put his sketchbook and box of pencils under his left arm as he ascended the ladder to the dropship airlock. He hadn't really seen the dropship much since they had scavenged it. He could sketch the dropship for reference and get a little quiet time to boot. Arden and Kiera had been going at it again. Joshua kind of wished they would go ahead and sleep together and get it out of the way. Most of the time it didn't bother him, but today he was oddly on edge.

But when he closed the outer door and opened the inner, he realized someone else had beat him to the calm of the dropship. Awake, Rina was always moving, always working, But there was a brief moment before she noticed him, as she sat in the chair quietly, perfect still in the peace of the cabin. As he watched her absorbing the stars flying past, Joshua felt as if he had been gifted a secret glimpse into a side of her that made his heart ache with missing her. I wonder if she knows how beautiful she is like that.

Then she noticed the door and the moment passed. Standing in the middle of the hatchway, Joshua wondered whether he should stay or just leave her be.

***

I don’t know how long I sat there before Joshua found me. Sitting in the cockpit had given me something I couldn’t name, something I hadn’t even known I’d missed. It slipped away when Joshua came aboard but I didn’t try to hold on to it. I simply turned when I heard the hatch open and smiled, replete.

“Hey,” I said softly. “Come on up.”

***

"Sorry," he said quietly, acknowledging the loss of Rina's quiet as he crawled out of the airlock. Once inside, he shut the door behind him, and settled in cross legged on the floor. His brownish hair had gotten long in the bangs recently and he had to push it back up out of his eyes as he pulled his sketchbook out onto his lap. "Don't mind me. Didn't know you were up here and thought I'd sketch the layout."

***

"If you're going to sketch, then you should have the best seat in the house." I rose and stepped down to the passenger deck and held my hand out to him.

***

Joshua cracked a little smile. "Just layout, not art, but I will accept your offer in the spirit of which it was offered." As he took her hand, the feel of it in his caused a wave of passion, sorrow, laughter, but most of all, love run through him. It was almost as if he was experiencing their relationship all at once in that single moment. He almost sat back down, but managed to maintain his composure.

I hold it together for months after Angel, even during the aftermath of Mike, and holding her hand is when I'm going to break down?

He was stronger than that, or at least he had thought he was. He made his way to the seat, almost afraid to say anything in the moment until he got it until control.

***

I felt him waver then recover and I gave his hand a squeeze. He stood, I stepped back, and when he’d settled in the chair I watched him for a beat. He’s rattled. Why? A second later I realized the cause and decided to leave. There wasn’t anything the dropship needed from me right this second that couldn’t wait ’til morning. Joshua, however, was a different matter. I scaled the ladder to the cockpit and standing next to the chair I gave his hand another squeeze.

“Enjoy the view, Joshua,” I said quietly. “You look like you need it. I can get the dinner stuff prepped if you need more time.”

***

"I wasn't trying to throw you out." She was right though. It was definitely peaceful. He closed his eyes for a minute. It wasn't until you had silence, he thought, that you realize how noisy a ship really is.

He opened his eyes and pulled out a black pencil from his case. "But thanks for the prepping. It's always welcome.”

***

I saw him relax as he closed his eyes and let the peace of the cockpit settle him. He looked somehow younger, less careworn in that instant and in my head I heard the Abbot's voice saying:

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

It was years before I'd found the poem he'd cribbed it from. I was surprised to recognise his philosophy in it but not surprised he'd adopted it. It was good advice to live by and it took moments like this to remind me of it.

"Not a problem," I said as Joshua opened his eyes and broke out his pencils. Thinking of the Abbot had given me an idea. "I'll have everything ready when you come down."

***

After Rina left, Joshua spent a few moments with pencil in hand but not drawing. He hadn't realized how tense he had been. He didn't try to analyze why. He just let the calm of the dropship and the stars flying by in pulse relax him. Before long, he felt his shoulders and neck easing up and his whole body felt more loose. There, he thought, now I can work.

He got up from the seat and paced out the dimensions of the ship, sketching as he went. Every so often, he'd have to get out his eraser and adjust dimensions, but his spatial sense was pretty good. After he was done, he flipped the sketchbook closed and was getting ready to descend back into the Gift when an idea struck him. He opened the book back up to a clean page and started sketching in a rough outline of the cockpit with the stars pulsing by. But instead of an empty seat, he sketched Rina there, as he remembered her from his entrance. After the rough sketch was done, he stood there for five minutes, eyes flitting from left to right, committing the scene to memory. He didn't have time to do a quality sketch now but his memory and observation of the moment would help him fill in the details later.

Then he closed the book back up and put his pencil away, opened up the hatch, and wandered back down to see how Rina had done with the prepping.

***

NOTE: For those who might be interested in the poem mentioned, go here
Go back to: Timeline Season Four, April 2521 to Dec 2521

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Go to Rina's Russian Glossary
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