New Parameters
Wednesday, 29 Oct 2521
Durance class, Exeter
En route to Boros
Georgia (Huang Long) system
1450hrs, ship's time
Joshua stared at the gauge, hoping the numbers would change. In his understanding, the numbers on the intake monitor shouldn't be reading that high. But he had only ever learned to fly on the one ship. On the _Gift_. And he just wasn't a good enough pilot to be able to just *feel* whether something was wrong. That meant he needed to go get Nika. She had said she was going to take a nap in the captain's quarters, right nearby. He hated to wake her up, but better that than having their brand new ship fall apart in pulse because he didn’t think it was important to let her know.
He pushed himself out of the main pilot's seat, taking a second to stare around what felt like an incredibly large cockpit, especially when compared to the cozy confines of the Gift's cockpit. He supposed they'd all get used to it.
Eventually.
Leaving the cockpit, the captain's quarters were almost immediately to the right and he stopped in front of the door and knocked. "Nika, sorry to disturb you, but can I get your opinion on something?"
--
She hadn't been sleeping. She'd been lying in the bed, but primarily because she couldn't think of what the gorram hell else she could do. "Come in," Nika called toward the knock, sitting up on the bunk. Arden was keeping her eyes bandaged and covered in a salve of some kind to try to let them rest and heal the skin around them that had been damaged by the toxic waste splashing up. As the door opened, her head tilted in that direction. "What's up, Joshua?"
For the most part, her tone has been relatively normal. She doesn't seem overly concerned about the state of her eyes so far.
--
He stepped inside, doing his best not to stare at the bandages wrapping her eyes. He knew she couldn't see but that didn't mean she couldn't feel it anyway. "Unfamiliarity with a new ship strikes again. Got a gauge reading funny and I don't know whether I should be worried. So I wanted you to come up and tell me what you thought. I just don't have a feel for how she's flying." And he wasn't sure he ever would truly have that, not like Nika did. He could fly, but that didn't make him a pilot.
--
This was the third time he'd brought such a thing to her. Nika sighed softly. "Joshua... I don't know precisely what the norms are for this vessel, so having me come up there and just sit there is not going to be helpful," she reiterated. "It's ridiculous. I sit there, I listen, everything sounds fine to me, and then you bring me back here." She paused. "When I told you part of your job would be handling me, this isn't what I meant," she informed him drily.
--
She was right, of course. It was silly to keep bringing her up there. But Joshua trusted her more than he trusted himself. At least when it came to piloting. She had been his safety net and it had gotten taken away. He nodded and then realized she couldn't see it. _Stupid Joshua_.
"I know. I apologize. I just like having your company up there with me. You can teach me how to fly, but I'll never be as comfortable in the cockpit alone as you are. When you get your vision back, you can kick me off the bridge on a regular basis. Until then, I guess I'm going to keep bugging you to talk with me. "
--
Pushing herself cautiously up off the bed, having banged herself one too many times to really enjoy that pastime anymore, Nika offered her hand to Joshua so he could tuck it in the crook of his arm. "Lead on," she invited in a husky tone.
When they reached the bridge and he led her to the seat, her hand instinctively out in front of her the whole time as she shuffled with him, she sank into it gratefully. Her injuries were telling her that she'd escaped only by the skin of her teeth. "So what're we talking about today on our trip to babysit the blind captain?" she asked, her tone light.
--
"I believe the blind captain is the one babysitting me," he replied. "Third time asking for help, remember?" He sat down in the chair nearby and checked the panel again. Intake monitor was, of course, reading fine now. _Figures._
"Wanna tell me about your family? You've never really talked about them much with me and I haven't met them. In a few days, we'll be landing at their back door and it'd be nice to know what to expect."
--
Nika was quiet, her face turned unerringly toward the front windows of the vessel. "Not sure I know exactly what to tell you. Nala and I have some things in common, but... it's been a lot of years since I was home for any true length of time. Last few times I was home for more than a day or two weren't.... exactly normal." She paused, thinking about it. "She was always real good at the running of the ranch," she said quietly. "She loves it. She's like my dad that way -- the ranch is ... like me and flying, I guess. It's in her blood. Or at least it was. Dunno what really makes her happy now besides Larry, I guess. And Kevin." Her nephew.
--
"You'll get a chance to find out," he pointed out. "We'll need to spend some time there healing up, assuming they can afford to put us up for that long. Doesn't sound like you've spent a lot of time there in a while. Sorry that we have to show up limping and licking our wounds. Not fair to them."
--
"Fffft," Nika snorted, her face turning toward him once more. "Nala'll just be glad to see us. The door's always open -- I'm always real glad to go home and we're both always real sad when I have to leave. I'm just not particularly happy groundside anymore." She shrugged slightly. "I love sitting on the ridge where we buried Mama and Daddy, though, and watching the stars come out." Or... she used to. Shoving away that thought and keeping optimistic about regaining her sight, Nika smiled. "I can't wait to see Kev and JJ, though. Last trip, JJ and Tracy were in town and we didn't see them."
--
"How old is Kevin?" Joshua was fascinated with the idea of Nika's family. Rina hardly ever talked about hers, Arden was a clone, and Joshua didn't know who his family was. Nika's family was the closest thing to normalcy that Joshua knew about.
--
"He's...." Nika had to pause, calculating it. "He'll be seven next month," she finally said quietly. "My half-brother JJ is .... seventeen this year, I guess." Wow.... time flew. Nika was 36. Almost 37. When'd that happen? In her mind's eye she still looks about 20.... Brian still looks about 20, but how much of that was regression? Shoving that thought away, she added for Joshua, "He's old enough to sign onto a ship if he wants to. I doubt Tracy'd let him, though. My stepmother, last I heard, is enjoying living in town and letting Nala and Larry take care of the ranch with JJ learning the ropes from Nala and the Johannsens." She smiled a little. "I don't hardly know anything about either of them aside from Nala's letters when they happen to catch me."
--
"We're going to need another crew member or two, Captain, if we want to fly this ship effectively," Joshua commented. "We'd have room for JJ if he wanted to sign aboard. The more the merrier."
Nika seemed to be handling the loss of her eyes very well. Almost too well, he thought. But he was neither Christian or a Companion to be sure on that. And he certainly wasn't going to Read her to find out. Every person was different. And hopefully, it wouldn't be too long before they figured out a way to restore her to as good as new.
--
Nika smiled slightly. "Well, now.... gotta admit, Rina mentioned she's a bigger boat. I suppose we really should decide if we're keeping her or if we're going to sell her in or trade her in for something smaller," she said mildly. "No one's really talked about what we might want to do after this. Arden wants some downtime to give my eyes time to recover." He's still hoping to save them, perhaps that's why she's still dealing with it okay. "We'll have time to sort it out. We also have some... things to work out about Keira's situation," she added.
--
"Yeah," Joshua said ruefully. "I feel somehow responsible for the whole gorram thing. I know I wasn't the person who...I mean, it was Kiera and Potemkin...I mean, I was just the catalyst...ah hell." His thoughts were just randomly stumbling and he stopped for a second to collect them.
"I think she's truly sorry, if that means anything," he said lamely, his eyes focused off into the Black instead of on Nika's face. He didn't think he could bear to look at her right now.
--
At that, Nika leaned her head back against the chair's headrest. It was more comfortable than her old one but she didn't like it as much. "Sorry ain't enough, Joshua," the blonde retorted wearily.
"She can say she's sorry until she's blue in the face.... but she's selfish. She wanted revenge on Rina and to a slightly lesser extent you.... and she very deliberately chose to take away the livelihood of two other people -- and damn near the lives of all of us -- without a shred of remorse for what it would cost those of us not in her crosshairs. Even if Potemkin had not wanted to kill us, she hooked up with someone who wanted revenge on us for something, didn't bother to research anything about him before just handing us over to him -- and this in spite of telling me to my face that she'd give us fair warning if she was going to cause trouble for us." The woman flat out lied.
And for that.... Nika was not sure she would ever forgive. It was a bold-faced, look-her-in-the-eye lie.
--
"I know, Nika. Didn't say it was enough, just said it was." He thought about how Kiera had almost gotten herself killed fighting off stitches. That wasn't enough to earn trust or forgiveness. But maybe enough to open the door to the path leading towards those things. "I believe in second chances and redemption. I'm living a second chance now. I think we ought to give her a second chance." Before Nika could reply, he hurried on, "I'm not saying trust her or forget what she did. But maybe she can start to earn her way way back. Assuming she wants to and doesn't want to run off to the nearest city once we hit Boros."
--
Nika shrugged, her expression cold as she looked toward the front of the ship. "I don't want to discuss it right now," she said firmly. "I still haven't sorted through how I feel about the matter or what I intend to do. Too much up in the air." She listened to the sounds of the bridge and asked, "How much bigger is the bridge itself?" Because the acoustics felt different. There was more space, for certain.
--
"Understood, Captain." He looked over the expanse of the new bridge and did some rough calculations in his head. "I'd say about four times as big? It's very...impressive."
--
"I'm having trouble getting a mental map," Nika admitted grudgingly. "Every time I think I'm where I need to be, I spill something or crack my head or my shin on something. From what I remember, the Exeter has something like a dozen passenger compartments, doesn't it?"
--
"More passenger compartments, more cargo space, more of everything, it seems." Joshua didn't know if they wanted to keep the _Exeter_ or not, but he couldn't deny that it certainly had more *stuff* than the _Gift_. Was going to take some getting used to.
--
"How much more crew is she going to require to run her?" Nika asked practically. Because at the bottom of it all, it's not like we can afford to pay anyone. Not really. "And what kind of shape is she actually in?" The blonde hasn't actually seen the ship.
--
"We could run her as is. Well, with Beglan sticking around, which he seems to be willing to do." God only knew why, since his experiences with the crew of the Gift had basically consisted of torture, crashes, gulags, and firefights. "If we decide to take on passengers to the maximum, we'd need another crew member to help with passenger relations, general maintenance, and such."
"As far as her shape?" He looked around the bridge. Much like the rest of the ship, it wasn't fresh out of the box pristine, but definitely intact. "Surprisingly good for a ship that psychopath owned. Will need minor work all around, but as far as I know, it's not in need of any major repairs."
--
Nika pursed her lips thoughtfully and nodded. "We'll have to talk with the rest of the crew about whether to keep her or trade her in for something smaller. I can't remember her specs off the top of my head, but that'll factor in too." She smiled a little. "She feels different than the Gift. She's... heavier. Moves differently." She can tell that even in her darkness. Maybe better in her darkness.
--
"Yeah. I don't feel it quite the way you do, but I *can* feel it." He could feel it more in the walls...in the atmosphere. It wasn't home, yet. "She isn't ours yet. I mean, not in spirit. Not until you fly her, Nika."
--
"Can't fly her like this," Nika said calmly. "Maybe in a couple of days Arden'll take the bandages off and I can sit a flight watch." There is eagerness in her voice. The possibility is exciting.
--
"I'd trust you flying blind more than most pilots flying sighted, Nika." He smiled and put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "She's yours to fly. I'm just keeping the seat warm."
--
Nika chuckled. "I'll have to get used to flying all over again," she lamented good-naturedly. "Going from Harbinger to the Gift was quite a shift. And going from the Gift to this, I think, will also be one heck of a change." She shrugged. "No worries. We've got a little time to consider the options." There was a moment of wistfulness. "Maybe we can stay through the holidays. Nala always did those up right. Huge dinner and all."
--
"That sounds wonderful. I wonder if she'd let me chip in." While he loved cooking for the crew, on-board cooking didn't give him a chance to stretch his wings. "I don't see any reason why we couldn't stay for a little longer."
--
"A little longer?" Nika asked curiously. "I had thought ..... well, never mind," she said. There was a hesitance to her words that she didn't want to acknowledge too much yet. A fear that ... Arden was hedging. "We'll just play it by ear. Arden wants to see about medical facilities and we're going to have to figure out money anyway. I'm not even sure we can bring in enough to fuel this beast."
--
"Right, play it by ear. As long as we need to recuperate. For you to get your vision back." He didn't want to think about the money yet, but they had some time for sure. "I didn't mean to imply I had some sort of plan. You're the Captain. We're on your schedule." The warmth in his voice was genuine. He had faith that they were going to get everything settled.
--
Nika sat silently in the bridge, trying to find the same peace that being in the Black has always offered. But right now, she's peering at a blackness that is even deeper and more profound. When she spoke again, she said to Joshua quietly, "Arden's worried." He hasn't spoken it. But she could tell from his voice. "Between you and me, Joshua... we need to start talking about what happens if this isn't a temporary situation."
--
"I'm not being an unrealistic cheerleader here when I say that I refuse to believe it is anything more than temporary." He frowned but reached over and grabbed one of her hands to reassure her. Until this happened, he hadn't thought as much about how important visual cues were for things like reassurance and comfort. "Let's say that your vision doesn't return on its own in a few days or a week. Then we'll start figuring out how to move heaven and earth to find another solution. If Blue Sun could do what they did to me to create who I am, then finding a hospital that can fix your eyes should be a piece of cake."
He paused, thinking about the in-between time before they found a cure. "In the meantime, we're not going to be taking much, if any business on the ship. So our workload, and therefore yours, will be light. Whatever you need from me, I will work hard to provide. So, tell me what you're thinking, Nika."
--
"I don't know what I'm thinking yet, Joshua. I'm ... " Nika's hand curled convulsively around his and she swallowed. "Right now I'm just trying to hold onto the hope that it's temporary. But at least for the interim, I'm not going to be much good to you guys, you know? I can sit here and listen to the radio frequencies, though, and let you know if anything pings. Not like taking a watch on the bridge has ever been terribly intensive when we're not about to drop out of pulse." She smiles a bit. And being here will make her feel better.
--
"There's not much for any of us to do right now, so you're not any less useful than the rest of us. As for when we need our Captain, you can still talk, listen, and make decisions. We'll be your eyes until you get yours back, Nika." She must be more scared than he could possibly imagine. Joshua knew he would be and he didn't rely on his eyes to do what he loved.
He squeezed her hand again and said, "I know we're all tough as nails on this ship, but just wanted to let you know that you don't have to be around me. When we get to your sister's, you'll have another support, but until then, make sure to use me however you need."
Then he chuckled, "Ok, well, as long as it isn't that would get me in serious trouble with our favorite engineer."
--
Nika snorted a faint laugh. "I'm okay, Joshua," she replied, though she didn't release his hand. Her face turned toward the front once more. "We're alive. It's better off than I thought we'd be," she admitted. "I don't really need anything right now. Just.... do what you do best, I guess. Make sure they're all okay. Make sure you're okay." Because if the fear overtakes her, Nika sure as all hell is not going to be okay.
--
"I will. You can trust me on that. We didn't come back from hell to falter now, right?" Joshua sat there holding her hand, making no move to let go as he glanced over the nearby instrument panels. "Wanna sit with me for a while in the quiet? I know you can't see the Black right now, but much like Rina, I've always thought you heard it more than you saw it. It'd be nice if you'd let me listen to it with you for a while."
--
"I'd like that a lot," Nika said softly, wishing away the prick of tears beneath the bandages. She had never been able to explain what the vast emptiness in the Black meant for her, and there were no words for the chasm of fear that lingered beneath her quiet, sad smile as she sat on the bridge with his hand holding hers.
Go to Joshua's Crew Page or to Nika's Crew Page
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Go to Mutineers
