Tea's Proper but a Beer, Well ...

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Thank you Terri! Just a note to all. . .this one occurred before the other one, right after the furor over the sale of the weapons.—Kim


It wasn't hard to locate the pilot. Tian knew that Rachel rarely went anywhere else in the ship when she was annoyed or bothered except the cockpit. And the two women had things that needed saying. She knocked briskly on the cockpit hatch, waiting to hear Rachel's 'come in' before stepping into the other woman's domain. Meeting Rachel on her own home turf, so to speak, was perhaps a silent way of ceding control of the situation to the pilot.

"Rachel, do you have some time to talk to me?"

"Hiong mao niao," Rachel muttered under her breath. She had about had it with people. Cradling a warm mug of tea, she started forward and then set it down to pour another. No need to be inhospitable. She went to the hatch, mugs in hand, and leaned down so that she could see the Doctor. "I got time. C'mon up darling."

Tian nodded slightly and went up, closing the hatch behind her as she did. The extra mug of tea brought a faint smile to her lips and she couldn't help commenting mildly, "Always better to hash out the problems over tea, heh?" She took the mug and met Rachel's eyes. "I think it's time we cleared the air, Rachel... I broke the first rule the day we met. We left someone behind. An apology doesn't even begin to cover that, but I owe you at least that much."

"Tea gives you something to do with your mouth so that your brain has time to stop it spewing words you might regret." She gestured for Tian to follow and took her into the sanctum of her quarters, motioning for her to take a small swivel chair that had been bolted by a pull down table.

Reaching up, Rachel undid the clasps and pulled it down, settling her mug on it. With a sigh, she then folded herself into a comfortable position on the opposite chair. She eyed Tian for a long moment and then stated calmly, "Damn right you did. And you gave an order that by right was the boy's. . .Captain's, I mean. Shit happens honey, but you had no right. No right at all."

Settling into the chair that was offered, Tian did Rachel the courtesy of listening with all appearance of giving her full attention, the cup of tea resting on her knee. She nodded slowly. "You're right, I did. It was instinct and perhaps a little bit of flashback to combat situations of the past -- the adrenaline was already high, and when they came in hot, I did what I'd been trained to do. React. It doesn't make it right, it just means it happened."

She paused for a long moment. "I'm beyond sorry for what happened to Freddie, Rachel. And I'm sorry that my instinct was to get the rest of us out of Dodge before they got to us, which left him behind. Those are the things I'm apologizing to you for," Tian said calmly. "It's not your place to be angry at me specifically for giving an order that was the Captain's to give if *he* isn't angry about it. It's his place to deal with me on that matter, and he's already done so." She hesitated once more, and then asked quietly, "Are you angry because you think he would have given a different order? Or because you know that he wouldn't have?" Or maybe just at yourself because you followed the order and we both left Freddie behind and broke the rule? she thought, though she kept that behind her teeth.

Rachel studied her, allowing herself the time to think. It was time to distill, find the essence of the slow burn she had felt since Persephone, then figure out how to say it. She had re-lived it far too many times but she closed her eyes to immerse again, find the core of her anger.

Freddie was dead, but Tian didn't kill him. She brought trouble to the ship, but hell, she herself had blown outta so many ports that Sunshine and the other portmasters didn't even blink anymore. She opened her eyes once she knew, shook her head.

"You are the perfect gorram military. Doesn't matter what side you people are on. Everything in the world is yours to command, no matter what or who dies. Collateral damage. And that's ok. I get it. But it took you til now to come to me to apologize for a man that was family to me. That you didn't give our baby Captain a chance to command his own !#//$ ship is not my problem. You're right; Delilah is his command to take. He'll learn or he'll die.

"But I listened to you 'cus I ain't a fighter and from what I saw that day, neither was any of you bushy tailed bunnies. We didn't have much choice. But Freddie was collateral for you and he paid for the debt you owed. Did any of you ever ask if he had other family or ask what was done with his body?"

Tian bit her tongue, a flash of something in her dark eyes at the accusation of collateral damage clearly touching a raw nerve. "No," she said quietly, "I didn't. Not because I didn't care that he got killed, but because quite frankly... how the gorram hell do you apologize for something like that? For bringing trouble on your tail without meaning to and getting someone else's family killed in the crossfire? That's a responsibility I'll carry for always." She shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said simply.

Her brow furrowed, an eyebrow raising as her lips lightly pursed. She leaned back and fetched two beers from the tiny fridge, the bottles clinking hard on the table as she set them down. "We drink to lost companions, remember them good and bad," she intoned, pushing one at the doctor. "Ship's crews work best when they're families. Your members may come and go, but while you are here in the Black, you are all family. You ain't got nobody else. And you ain't ever gonna get to know him, but I reckon I have grieved Freddie enough for the both of us."

Tian watched her get up and move back to the fridge, a puzzled expression crossing her face. And when Rachel comes back with what amounts to a peace offering, the brunette smiles faintly. "For what it's worth to you," she said quietly, "his face is one of the ones that I will carry with me." She looked up to meet Rachel's eyes. "I won't forget him."

Setting the tea on the table between them and picking up the beer, Tian tilted her head and held it up. "To Freddie," she said evenly.

A quick smile graced Rachel's lips and she touched her bottle to Tian's. "To Freddie." She took a long drink and then shook her head lightly. "May he and my boys watch over Delilah and this new little brood." She drank the bottle down to half and then sat it down. "I apologize for not stepping in with Poco. I shoulda. But it's hard not to listen to him." She bit her lip. "Especially when he's echoing what you feel," she added with more than a little rue. "I told the Captain. . . dangerous cargo has had two stops with me. On and then off at the next planet. I've never just carried it around with me before. I'll admit I didn't like it. But you and he were right to be mad. So I owe you that apology Doctor."

Tian took a long swallow from her beer and then smiled just a little. "Yes and no," she replied thoughtfully. "Might not have been what either of us thought should happen, but... then again, it saved my behind," she pointed out wryly. "If the lieutenant had boarded the ship and found those weapons, I'd have been off to jail right then. He wants it pretty bad, and both Val and I are getting the impression that he isn't going to care whether he gets me for something I really did or for something he set me up for. Though I have no idea what in the Verse I've done to earn his attentions at this level. So... I'd say you don't owe me any apology for that, Rachel. In point of fact, maybe I owe you both a thank you for it." She shrugged and then laughed. "And when are you going to call me Tian?"

She had nodded knowingly as the doctor spoke about the lieutenant. But her head cocked to the side with the doctor's last words. Rachel blinked and then grinned minxishly. "In about two more beers, darlin," came the reply with a wink. "But I'll practice it now. Thank you and you're welcome Tian."

Tian laughed softly and took a long swallow of her beer. "Why don't you tell me about Freddie?" she invited. "Sounds like he was a real good kid." She settled in to listen and perhaps get to know the young man through Rachel's eyes -- and maybe learn about Rachel in the bargain.







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