Those Who Stare In The Black, Game 17: Méfiez-vous du Chien

Although translated correctly, the above is not the title of the Roald Dahl classic I originally intended to reference. The correct title is "Garde au Chien".You can read a description of the story, here. —Campaign Archivist.

—Previously on Those Who Stare In The Black…—
Fresh from rescuing the majority of Space Otter's and Serenity's crews, we now have to scramble to our defense against an incoming ship.

Thursday, 26 Oct 2519
Mid bulk Space Otter
Somewhere near Ghost
Kalidasa (Xuan Wu) system

Part of our strategy requires our engineeer who is still unconscious, rendered so by the trigger phrase Stone used to send her asleep. His attempts to wake her are ineffective. He comms Oksana in medlab, where she is still detoxing. The doctor is still disoriented and she has difficulty keeping her thoughts together. Stone repeats his request for help until the meaning sinks in.

Oksana: (muzzy) Slap her.

SLAP!

Xiu kicks for Stone's solar plexus as she wakes. Stone dodges. Xiu wakes.

Yup. That worked.

Stone: Xiu. Wake up, mei mei. We have trouble. Man the Gat.
Xiu: (pissed) I was aslee—? You bastard!
Stone: We have trouble. Man the Gat.
Xiu: Bastard.

She goes. Stone comms Oksana that her ploy was successful and it takes fewer repetitions to sink in. Oksana is slowly coming back, her numbers on the detox machine edging closer into green.

Verity is on the bridge manning the sensors and the info on the incoming bogie is coming through. It's an Alliance Longbow, 40 thousand tons. There's no way we're going to outrun her. The Longbow hails Otter.

Longbow: Unidentified Craft. Pull away from the Firefly Class transport and power down.

We can't outrun them. We can't fight them. We won't abandon Serenity.

Longbow: You have two minutes to comply.
Verity: (all-ship) Captain, you better get up here.

Serenity's comms is still out. Stone grabs the flashlight and Morses at Jayne still on the Firefly's bridge.

Stone: We're having some technical difficulties. We're on that.

Which is no help at all. The dim-cap effect has taken deep hold of Stone by now and he's getting loopy. Behind him on the sensors, Verity sees a group of craft breaking off from the Longbow to intercept us. It's a fighter squadron. The Longbow is still about an hour out but that squadron will get here sooner than that.

We can't run. We're still hooked up to Serenity via fuel line. The fuel sensors choose that moment to go beep! Serenity's tank is full. Verity grabs the flashlight from Stone and blinks to the other ship's bridge.

Verity: Big trouble. Gassed up.
Jayne: Zoe disconnecting. Preparing for hard burn.
Verity: Not with this ship.
Jayne: What ship?
Verity: Look out your window.
Jayne: See you.

Wou de ma. We're nose to nose and blocking their view.

Verity: Longbow.
Jayne: Shit.

Jayne starts gesticulating and mouthing words we can't hear, which is probably for the best. As Verity watches, she sees River ease into view from Serenity's avionics bay. The young woman smiles and waves. Verity aims the flashlight at her and sends a message:

Verity: Stepping aside, not leaving yo—
River: (via running lights) I know. Go.

Looks like River's recovered. In medbay, Oksana's numbers are going green, one by one. Two decks apart, Stone and Xiu start singing the Hokey Pokey on all-ship.

Xiu: Captain, is this one of your sex things?
Stone: Are you volunteering?

Not only is this on all-ship, it can be heard over the open channel the Longbow has on us, too. Frustrated and exasperated over the chaos onboard, Verity slaps the all-ship off and hails the Feds with an explanation … kinda.

Verity: Just a moment. Sorry about that, Mr. Blue Hands.

Another fighter squadron joins the first. Both move to flank us. Zoe uncouples the fuel line. River starts prepping to fly. Stone may be singing the Hokey Pokey but he's still got enough presence of mind left to issue an order. He comms the Gat turret.

Stone: Xiu. Hide the Gat. Before the Feds get here.
Xiu: 'Kay!
Stone: Wanna dance, Verity?
Verity: No.
Stone: Okey dokey.

Stone goes to medbay and tries to get Oksana to dance. She's unhooking from detox, takes one look at him, and tells him to sit down.

Stone: I can't dance sitting down.
Oksana: Of course you can. It's a chair dance.

The Hokey Pokey is still playing over the speakers and he sits and dances. Xiu cuts in with a complaint about all-English children's dances. A second later the Mexican Chicken Dance blares from the PA.

Stone: (still dancing) Thanks, Verity.
Xiu: I am so losing my Zen now.

River is flipping switches on Serenity's bridge, powering the ship up and away from us. Zoe wants to run. Meanwhile in Otter's medbay, Stone starts to stabilize into his final lucid period before his brain starts to fry. Oksana starts the meds fabricator to making another batch of the antidote. She's got everything programmed in. All she needs to do is flip that switch. Switch flipped, it will take 20 minutes for it to spit out another 8 doses.

We don't have 20 minutes before the Feds arrive. Before that 20 minutes is up, the squadrons have us surrounded. They have us under close surveillance. We can't sneak the antidote to Serenity …

Xiu: Morse it.

Oksana writes it down for Verity and Verity flashes it over. Or rather, she starts flashing it over when River stares at our pilot and catches it straight from her mind.

River: (via running lights) Got it!
Verity: (via Morse) One dose per person.

The music on our ship changes over to lounge music. Tony Bennet croons from our speakers. Out in the black the Longbow decelerates. She'll be here in 45 minutes.

Stone asks if we're far enough apart for maneuvers. Well, no. Surrounded. Hello. Oksana impatiently waits next to the med fabricator. Still waiting on it. Waiting … waiting …. waiting … Done! 8 doses spit out and she starts racking them into injectors.

Meanwhile, Xiu is getting antsy about the approaching Longbow.

Xiu: I hope this is her boyfriend. It it's the Alliance, I'm gonna start shooting.
Stone: Pea gun versus Gatling is a bad idea.

Oksana gets Stone the first dose. The Longbow is closer now, about twenty minutes out. Stone wonders if we should warn the Longbow about the odd "movers" that afflicted our ships.

All the women aboard at once: No!
Oksana: We need only to wait for the Longbow crew to get stupid, then we'll board them and steal their ship.

She's joking, but the idea seems attractive to the other crewwomen aboard Otter. Verity is still tracking the movers' trajectories and even as she watches, the movers get halfway to the Longbow … and disappear off our sensors.

What?!

The meds take a little time to start working but Stone can feel his head starting to clear after about twenty minutes. Good thing, too, as the Longbow pulls up nearby and hails us. The screens on the bridge flicker with the incoming wave and resolves to show us a clean-cut bald man of indeterminate age, with a mustache and goatee, in something not quite uniform, not quite tactical clothing.

Fed: Please identify yourselves.
Stone: I'm Captain Allyne Stone of Space Otter
Fed: Your business in this sector?
Stone: Testing our engines. We got a wave from our friends and came over to help.
Fed: Very well. We will have that checked out. Keep your engines powered down. Life support only. Any cargo?
Stone: No. Just testing our engines.
Fed: Who said 'Blue Hands' on that ship?
Stone: I don't know. We had an unusual medical situation at the time.
Fed: How so?
Stone: People were getting stupid. Our doctor came up with a dose against it. I determined my pilot, doctor, and engineer should get dosed first. So I apologize if I seem a little loopy at the moment.
Fed: Power down your engines. We will tow you starboard where you will dock and be boarded.

And sure enough—ping! ping! ping!—we hear the metallic sounds of grappling lines hitting our hull. We start to move. Serenity starts to move, too.

We're worried about the movers. Are they still in the area? Are they affecting the crew on the Longbow? Will they get stupid on us? Can we use that to our advantage? Is there any way we can find out? We can't use our sensors, not even passively—the Longbow is monitoring our power usage.

It takes about 15-20 minutes to get towed into a docking bay. Not much time to hide any incriminating evidence. Oksana hides Xiu's meds and medical records. Verity is ordered to hide her Independent patches … not that her political views are invisible already, nope. Verity doesn't move from the bridge. There isn't any point.

Fed: Lower your landing gear. We're in final stage docking.

Verity complies. Not that she likes taking orders from a Purplebelly Fed, but she doesn't want her ship damaged just because she didn't lower the landing gear. In a few minutes, there's a slight bump as gear meets docking bay deck and in the cargo hold, servos whine as the airlock and loading ramp cycle through on override.

Oksana checks in with Verity and Xiu, urging them to stay calm, then joins Stone in the cargo bay just as the Feds arrive. The bald man from the wave steps aboard. He isn't alone. He's got ten armed men for back up.

Xiu has Verity play "Bad Boys" over our ship's speakers. In Chinese AND English.

Gee, thanks, Xiu.

The Fed doesn't crack a smile. He has a quiet observant mien. He has a sword across his back. We recognize him by that item as an Operative of the Parliament. Not many else carry a sword in this spaceship age, after all.

Operative:We will be inspecting your ship. (Looks at the cargo hold) X Prototype Class. Amphibious. Papers, please.

Stone hands the ship's papers right over. The man at the Operative's side takes them and holds them for viewing while the Operative takes notes on his data pad. He nods at the crew page and hands the pad to the man holding the papers.

Operative:Look these three up.

Meaning Verity, Oksana, and Xiu. The Operative looks at Stone.

Operative:Have your entire crew step off ship. We'll have to do a full sweep.
Stone: (via all-ship) Verity, Xiu. Come on down.
Verity: (cough) … (mutter) … (cough)

Xiu arrives. Verity is last. Once the crew is assembled, the Operative bows at the women and waves a gentlemanly hand toward the ramp and the Longbow beyond.

Operative:Please. We have quarters waiting for you.
Verity: I don't sleep well outside my ship.

Oksana takes Xiu by the shoulder and helps her off board. Verity grudgingly follows. We're followed in turn by the guards. As we clear our ramp, we see Serenity parked alongside us in the bay. The bay itself is HUGE. A plain box-like structure, somewhat like a shippping container, sits a little bit off to the side of both ships. Oksana recognizes it from the war: it's a TDU, a Temporary Detainment Unit, and is built like a metal box with a single door. We're led in, one at a time.

Stone goes first. He's told to give over all his weapons. He complies. It takes several minutes. His pile of weapons go into an arms carousel. He's told to hand over the keys to our arms locker, too, and they get similarly locked up. Everyone else is asked to surrender their weapons as well. Oksana isn't carrying at the moment, acting strictly as the doctor. Xiu isn't either, being in her coveralls. Verity hands her piece over. We watch as it goes into another compartment of the carousel and locked up. The carousel keys go into a key safe built into the wall.

There are two doors at the rear, obviously leading to the rest of the container's interior. We're shown through the left door and are locked in sterile small lounge beyond. It has cots, a sink/toilet unit in the corner, lights, surveillance cameras, and little else. The walls are thin enough, however, to allow us to hear Mal's crew getting processed and locked in the room next door.

Xiu immediately starts tapping on the walls.

Jayne: You pretty in there?
Xiu: Aw, honey, I'm always pretty.
Jayne: Wait, you that moon brain in there? Nah, I'm busy.

Through the walls, we can hear Mal gibbering. Oksana goes to the nearest camera and pleads to be allowed to treat the rest of the prisoners. Their minds have been affected by an induced chemical imbalance, but she has a treatment to cure it. If they don't get the meds, they will go loopy and then their brains will start to fry. Please, let her treat them.

There is no response. Stone joins Oksana at the camera.

Stone: Okay, are you going to open the door and let us stick a syringe in him or will I have to let my engineer loose?
Xiu: (clapping her hands) Yay! I'm an ultimatum now!

We hear the door next door to us open. We hear Mal singing a children's nursery song in Chinese, followed by sounds of a scuffle. Silence.

Our door is yanked open. Mal sticks his head in with a grin at Verity.

Mal: Anybody call for a rescue, Sugar Pop?

He's sane. Looks like Simon and River got the meds made in time while on Serenity.

Verity doesn't stop to wonder at it. She's already out the freakin' door. Our keys are locked up in the key safe. Without them, we're not getting our weapons back or our weapons locker aboard under our control. Xiu pulls out a hammer and chisel from her coveralls—odd, how the Feds didn't make her empty out her pockets—and has Jayne hammering on the safe. After a couple of blows with no effect, he suggests we leave without the weapons.

Mal: Bolt?
Stone: No, I say we walk out of here like we own the place.

Xiu manages to find a way to bypass the key safe door and makes a hole just big enough for River to get her hand in for the keys.

Mal: Zoe. Check outside.
Zoe: (looks) Clear. Cap? Something's not right.
Mal: (to River) You Read anything, Little One?
River: No. No one's out there.
Stone: (lightbulb) Ohhhhh … I'm a bad man ….
Mal: Not in public, Allyne. Whatcha thinkin'?
Stone: If the Feds are disabled like we were, I say we steal the Longbow and sell it.
Xiu: Who would we sell it to? (at Oksana) The Novaya Rodinans?
River: I got the keys!

She holds up the carousel keys and in minutes we have our weapons back. Our ships are 200 and 300 yards out, Otter and Serenity respectively.

Alarms start to blare. Stone nods at Mall and gets us aboard Space Otter.

Stone: (to Verity) Start searching our ship for bugs. I'll search the Longbow records, make sure it's not self destructing.

Mal opts to take off. He's not taking part in stealing an Alliance Navy Longbow, for godsakes. That's a special kind of crazy he don't cotton to.

Oksana and Verity wake up.

They are strapped to hospital exam beds, their beds next to one another. They are bound at ankle, thigh, wrist, and bicep by straps. Electrical leads and IV lines snake under the straps and the hospital gowns they wear. The other ends of the leads and lines hook up to equipment built into the wall. Oksana and Verity are not aboard Otter at all but are in a sterile lab room outfitted with beds, medical equipment, and a nurse's station with a console full of lights and readouts. Two other beds in the room have Stone and Xiu similarly trussed up. They appear to be asleep. As Oksana and Verity watch, their crewmates' eyes twitch as if they are dreaming.

Dreaming … and talking in their sleep. It becomes obvious that Stone and Xiu believe their dreams are real, that they have escaped the TDU and are on our ship, engineering our getaway.

Verity: (struggling) I want out. I want out now!
Oksana: Wait. Calm. This is not that moment.

Because they are not alone. Oksana sees a person behind the station's control console, on the other side of Xiu's bed. There is another person standing at a door beside the station, wearing a sterile veil.

Meanwhile, Xiu and Stone have noticed that Oksana and Verity have 'disappeared' behind their backs and quickly run a sensor sweep for them. Xiu sees them and blip! they blink out. And not only on Otter, either. She sees the signs wink out on Serenity, too.

What the—?

Stone wakes. He sees Verity and Oksana and they have a quick whispered conference, despite the staff watching them. What the hell is going on? How did we get here? Stone thinks we were gassed when our ship was grappled and we "dreamed" the entire boarding and imprisonment.

Xiu is still under the illusion. She turns around to find Stone has disappeared and that hinks her right up. She runs through our ship, getting her weapons, her tools, her meds … and gets over to Serenity, only to find Mal in the same predicament, looking for Zoe.

Mal: Zoe on your ship?
Xiu: No. Where's the baby?
Mal: Baby?

Mal disappears right before Xiu's eyes.

AND …

Xiu wakes up strapped to the hospital bed and FREAKS. Bad memories of her Academy days. The equipment behind her bed hums and the lines and leads tremble. Xiu starts to calm down and then goes high as a kite.

Wheeeeeee!

The door beside the nurse's station opens and the Operative walks in. Xiu sees him and calls out.

Xiu: Your mother was a pig and your father smelled of elderberries.

The Operative stops at the station and says to the person manning the console.

Operative:So they brok out of the program.
Nurse: Yes, sir.
Operative:Did you get a good read?
Nurse: Yes, sir.
Operative:Wipe their memories.
Oksana: All of them?

Because she's worried she'll lose half her med classes and—

BLINK.

We wake in our cell in the TDU, yawning and stretching upright from the most restful sleep we've had in … well, forever.

Gorram, that was a helluva good nap.

HOW TO SPEAK FRENCH

Méfiez-vous du Chien = Mef-fyay-voo doo sh'yahn = Beware of the Dog Sound clip

HOW TO SPEAK CHINESE

Wuo de mah = Wuh duh mah = Mother of God (Lit. tr. My ma) Sound clip (With thanks to Browncoats.com for pointing me in the right direction.)

MUSIC OF THE VERSE

The Hokey Pokey in English.
https: slashslash www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfPg_GzC-HA

The Hokey Pokey in Chinese.
https: slashslash www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-49omzyXZE

The Mexican Chicken Dance
https: slashslash www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAKtTgQbzOg

That Tony Bennett Song.
https: slashslash www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyHfZJWQdvA

Bad Boys Song (In English)
https: slashslash www.youtube.com/watch?v=qH5rv3pYum8

Mal's song in the TDU: "Two Tigers" Liang Zhi Lao Hu 儿歌-两只老虎_动画
Listen to it here: https: slashslash www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjnC7dMVmNE

(YouTube has been blacklisted by Wiki RPG. Just paste the link and replace slashslash with the proper symbols to go to the site.)

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